!! DISCLAIMER !!
THIS AU WILL INCLUDE DARK THEMES AND OCCASIONALLY DWELL INTO HEAVY TOPICS.
CANON-TYPICAL VIOLENCE WILL ALSO BE PRESENT SO, even though it might diverge from the original lore, STILL READ AT YOUR OWN DISCRETION PLS!

(Specific trigger warnings will be applied in a note at the beginning of a chapter though, like this one!)

Thank you for deciding to read my fic. <3

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"Sometimes I ask myself how we got to this point,
which of all the little actions led to this tragic sequence of occurrences.

I ask myself If I could've prevented all of this from happening, some way.
I wish I could turn back, stop him before he committed those extreme acts,
but now what has happened, has happened.

I hope I've at least cleared my name and that, when I'll close my weary eyes as the warmth embraces me and surrounds my rotten body, I'll finally be able to rest forever, just like everybody else who is here with me.

This message will burn away, and it will be lost forever, so there's no purpose. It's not a suicide note, either. I just needed to get all these thoughts out of my head before being able to finally fall asleep and rest.

Goodbye, and I'm sorry for the only boy who truly loved me."

Chapter 1 - An Unstable Situation

"Michelle"?

The deafening sound of an alarm clock echoed in the room, as well as the voice of an adult woman.

"Michelle dear, wake up you need to get ready to go to school"!

After an initial state of confusion the girl slowly opened her eyes as she let out an annoyed groan and replied to the woman with a raspy voice: "I'm up, I'm up..."

The woman replied as she left the room: "Be quicker, come on, you don't want to give off a bad impression by coming late to your first day of school, do you? The breakfast is ready, I made your favourite: a classic english breakfast. It will give you an extra boost! If you don't come down within ten minutes and I find you sleeping in your bed again though, I'll grab some cold water and splash it on your pretty little face like last time, miss"!

Once the mother left the room the daughter managed to get herself enough energy and will power to raise her tired body after staring at the ceiling for a few seconds. She then finally sat on her bed, slightly irritated as she thought of her mother's nagging and threats again.

She sighed and finally got up, ready to start her day. She randomly grabbed the first set of clothes she saw—which were messily thrown away into her open wardrobe—and undressed herself, obversing the body that stood in front of her in the mirror as she combed her dark long hair. Whenever she looked at herself in that reflection her mind would be pervaded by an uneasy feeling, as if something wasn't right.

Despite this she ignored it by quickly putting on the pair of denim jeans and the sweathershirt she didn't care enough to tuck in to make herself look more presentable and headed to the kitchen where she found her mother sitting, waiting for her in front of a set table.

"Well, goodmorning!" the woman exclaimed after noticing her daughter sitting at the table. "Are you ready? If you need anything while you're at school just call me, alright"?

Her tone of voice sounded excited but concerned at the same time.

Michelle replied: "I will be fine as always, don't worry."

She then grabbed the cutlery and began to bring the comforting food prepared by her mother into her mouth, who began to eat aswell. As they enjoyed their breakfast they listened to two men talking about music on the radio, when all the sudden a song by Micheal Jackson, "Pretty Young Thing," started playing. The woman glanced at the radio once she heard the iconic voice of the singer, surprised.

"What a coincidence! Isn't this that singer you like? Maybe it's a sign that your day will go smoothly, you know, like a smooth criminal," she said as she giggled at her own joke.

The young girl slighlty giggled aswell, with that sense of embarassment that you feel when your parents forcefully try to show interest towards something that you like.

"Yeaaah..." she awkwardly replied as she took one last bite.

"I am done, I'm going to get ready," the young girl then announced as she got up from the chair and headed to the bathroom, washing her face. She then looked at herself on the round mirror on top of the sink, took a breath and thought: "Everything will be alright, just do not show any sign of awkwardness or anxiety and everything will be alright. Just be normal."

She dried her face with an handtowel, brushed her teeth and finally got out of the bathroom, finding her mother coming right at her while handing over a backpack. She was looking at her daughter with a facial expression that clearly showed she felt bad about something.

"I'm sorry I cannot give you a ride this morning since I have to take your sister Elizabeth to a friend. You can handle it, right?"

Michelle took the backpack and put it on her shoulders while replying to her mother to reassure her while also sounding exasperated by her constant coddling: "Yes don't worry, it's not that far. Besides, I'm not a little kid anymore, mom."

She then got closer to the front door and looked back at her mother: "I'm going then."

The woman smiled as she looked at her daughter. Every parent feels a sense of happiness but melancholy at the same time while looking at their children grow up. Just yesterday her baby pronounced her first words, and now she was going to high school. Michelle was right, she wasn't a little kid anymore.

"Good luck, dear," she said as she moved her dark hair away from her face and gave her a kiss on the forehead.

Michelle appreciated the gesture, but just like any young girl would she felt embarassment towards admitting it. "Eww, come on!" she chuckled, "It's not like I'm going to war or something... I mean, kind of."

After her mother giggled Michelle slightly smiled and waved goodbye with her hand: "I'm going for real now, bye."

The woman replied by waving her hand back at her: "Don't come back home too late! Unless you've already made some friends and want to hang out with them after school."

After saying goodbye to her loved mother Michelle left the house, closed the door behind her back and started heading towards the school.

As she began to walk a sense of anxiety suddenly got to her, well who wouldn't on the first day of school? Well, the fact is that this anxiety wasn't only caused by the new experience, but also because Michelle was afraid of worrying her mother.

"What if everything goes wrong," she thought. "Will I be able to still act as if nothing happend"?

She stared at the ground as she walked, deep in thought. "What if I really need help and have another one of those weird panic attacks? Will I be able to handle it all by my own"?

She didn't want to be the cause extra problems since Clara—her mother— wasn't getting along with William—her father—the past few weeks. In fact it seemed as if he was slowly becoming detached from his family, taken back by projects he started to work on with his best friend, Henry.

These past few days Clara felt particularly worried about Michelle, which caused her to result annoyingly overbearing towards her daughter. To make the situation worse William came back home late in the evening most of the time, which meant that the woman found herself dealing with the little Elizabeth and Evan all on her own all day and, at the end of the day, Michelle always felt like she had to give her mother an extra hand.

Let's say the situation in the Afton family was a bit chaotic and Michelle felt like an unneccesary weight so she put herself aside most of the time, as if her feelings and needs were too much. She was mature for her age, but still felt like she didn't matter anymore and couldn't be the loved carefree only child she once was. Afterall she's still only just a kid, feeling such a weight on her shoulders at such young age obviously didn't make her happy and was the source of some of her issues.

She had a wonderful childhood, nonetheless. She has so many good memories back in Norwich, England and even had a good relationship with her dad. However, as Evan and Elizabeth were born and moved out here in Utah, America that stability and those parental attentions faded away, disappeared, which made Michelle grow some sort of hatred and resentment towards her siblings, even if she didn't show it and tried her best to be patient with them when she helped out her mother, especially because she still deep down cared about them.

After about twenty minutes of walking as her mind wandered off Michelle arrived in front of the new school. The bell didn't ring yet and a lot of people were outside or inside the building, walking around and talking to each other.

Michelle approached the highschool, looked around and noticed how most of the people were grouped together. They were laughing and chatting, clearly showing that they already knew each other, maybe even because they were childhood friends, she assumed.

Michelle had to leave everything behind since her family started a new life here in Hurricane, Utah. Because of that she didn't have any friends anymore and had to start anew even if she always struggled in the social compartment. That's when what she thought was a rush of social anxiety began to overwhelm her and, as she realized how she felt, scared of making a scene, she began to panic.

"I need to calm down, QUICKLY," she thought.

She headed at a fast pace towards the school bathroom which she thankfully found easily even if she has never been in the building before and, as she barged in, she saw a group of people that looked around her age in front of the window, smoking. Precisely there were two boys and one girl who, after hearing the door opening, jumped and turned around to look at who barged in.

The girl with short but big and poofy dark brown hair, who was wearing loud pink colored clothes, began to speak to her: "My god, you scared me! I thought you were a teacher or a janitor or something," she exclaimed as she rested an hand on her chest, glad that wasn't the case.

Michelle was a bit confused at the presence of the two guys and checked if this was the girl's bathroom, and it indeed was.

"Uuhm..."

"Don't tell anyone, please. We're simply here to smoke some cigarettes together they're not those kind of boys, but if the fact that I hang out in the bathroom alone with two boys gets out people here will start thinking weird stuff and spread made-up stories—again—. You know how it is, gossip."

Michelle looked at them, still somewhat confused at the situation and got near the sink. "Nono, I won't tell anybody."

She didn't really care, in that moment she was only trying to calm herself down: She splashed her face with some cold water and let out a quiet sigh.

"Are you a first-year?" a tall and big dark skinned boy with long blonde lock asked. "You look pretty nervous."

Michelle glanced over the guy: "Fuck, is it that obvious?" she thought out loud and, as she realized what she said, she immediately felt embarassed and added "Sorry, sorry—"

The three kids chuckled and the tall boy from before replied: "We are sophomores. You seem pretty funny so I'll introduce myself. Nice to meet you, I'm Seth Dickerson," he announced as he held his hand out towards her and smiled warmly.

Michelle looked at him, a bit surprised by how nice they seemed. They dressed weirdly, mostly in black clothing covered in studs. Because of that at the beginning she thought they were a bunch of dangerous weirdos who would've made fun of her, but in reality they seemed kind and, strangely, they made her feel at ease.

(Even though she didn't know what the fuck a sophomore was, but she still didn't ask to not make herself look like an idiot.)

Michelle replied to the genuine smile of the boy and took his hand, presenting herself back to him: "Nice to meet you too, I'm Michelle Afton."

A chubbier guy covered in freckles also introduced himself: "I'm Rubén Romero Ortega, nice to meet you."

Lastly, the girl with the big brown hair from before energetically got her hand up: "I'm Chrissy Donnelly, but you can call me Chris"!

Michelle looked at them, a bit taken back.

"... Is something wrong? Maybe the fact that we look like total weirdos"? Seth stated sarcastically, giggling.

Michelle became aware of her rudeness and quickly replied as she waved both of her hands; "Nono! I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention—"

"Don't worry, we get those stares everytime we walk around," Chrissy stated while laughing at the situation. She made clear with her confidence how she didn't feel out of place or ashamed because of it, and Michelle admired their ability of not giving a fuck about people's opinions, or at least she assumed that was the case.

"Actually, yours seemed like a look of confusion rather than hatred", she then added.

"Why would they hate you guys? You seem nice," Michelle continued to look at them, baffled.

"Well. I'm tall, buff and basically built like a bouncer, so I'm immediately a walking danger to people, apparently. The teachers here at school immediately treated me as a troublemaker even when I didn't do anything, so I gave up on being a good kid. At least now I made sure they're right to treat me like this." Seth said with a playful tone even though his story seemed sadly unfair.

"I'm apparently problematic because I challenge the laws of the universe by being a girl who likes other girls and dresses like a weirdo."

"Girls?" Michelle asked.

"Yes."

"And... You're a girl"?

"Yep."

"Oh, I always heard about it, but uhm..."

"Never talked to an homosexual person before?" Chrissy asked as she giggled, teasing Michelle.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to—"

"It's no big deal if it makes you uncomfortable, I'm used to it."

Michelle at this point looked at Rubén, the only one who dressed quite normal in the group—and by normal we mean a varsity jacket and a pair of blue jeans—expecting him to tell something 'weird' about himself aswell.

Becoming aware of the silence he began to speak: "Oh, this has nothing to do with me. I simply find them fun while the members of the football team are fucking annoying, but I also get weird stares when I walk around with them, as if I made an alliance with the opposite faction or some shit. They even spread rumors that I'm secretely gay", he laughed. "Little do they know I'm here just to steal Seth's cigarettes, not his sexuality."

"I hate you" Seth replied while glaring at Rubén with a sarcastic tone of voice.

"To be honest I was just taken back by your guy's fashion sense, I thought you looked like delinquents or something. I have to admit that I've looked at magazines thinking that this kind of style seems cool and badass though," Michelle stated.

Chrissy suddenly started to observe Michelle after what she said, going around her in circles like a shark with a boat while she was deep in thought.

"Hm."

"Is there... something wrong?" Michelle said weirded out by the sudden behaviour as she followed her with her eyes.

"Do you want a mullet?! I think you would look cool with it!" the girl shouted.

"A... what"?

"This!" Chrissy took a magazine out of her backpack and opened a page, pointing at a picture. "Look look look! Isn't it cool?! You said that you like this sort of style yourself, didn't you"?

Rubén sighed. "Chris don't harass the new students, please."

"Uhm, the bell is gonna ring soon and my parents would kill me," Michelle replied, concerned.

"Who cares! You only live once, why waste your life trying to please everybody else?" Chrissy took out some scissors out of her backpack while grinning "What do you think?" she asked, looking for her approval.

"... I won't even ask why you even brought hairdressing scissors to school in the first place," Rubén expressed, concerned.

Michelle looked at the scissors and then the haircut on the page, thinking back at the words of the energetic girl in front of her who was excitedly waiting for a positive response, kind of like a dog who waits for you to finally throw the ball. She realized the exhaustion that following the rules always has caused since now. Hair is not a serious matter, but you know, when you're a kid even then minimal inusual thing makes you feel the thrill of youth rebellion.

"Alright fuck it, let's do it," she finally replied, determined.

"Please, at least do them right" Seth stated, concerned about the outcome.

"HEY!" Chrissy yelled as she tied Michelle's hair up. "Don't underestimate my abilities as an hairdresser! Do I have to remind you that my cool ass mom is a drag queen? I grew up learning all about beauty stuff, I know what I'm doing!" she looked back at Michelle and spoke with a softer voice to reassure her: "I promise you I'll do them right, dear."

"Uhm... Alright, I guess?" Michelle replied, uncertain of the certainty of Chrissy's words, but going along with it anyways. There's no turning back now, her long hair was about to be chopped short for the first time.

"TIME TO WORK!" Chrissy shouted as she began to get down to buisness, cutting Michelle's hair on the school's bathroom sink while Rubén was on look out to make sure no one entered the room. Meanwhile, Seth just looked at the scene while finishing his cigarette.

After fifteen minutes or so Michelle couldn't hear the sound of her hair getting chopped off anymore and opened her blue eyes.

"TA-DAH!" Chrissy exclaimed as she made Michelle's face look up into the mirror that was hanged on the wall, and she was stunned.

"Wow, it almost looks like this haircut was made for you! See? I'm a genius in styling. I knew your soft hair would work wonders." Chrissy bragged as she rested her hands on her own hips and smirked, making clear how proud she was of herself.

Michelle continued to look at herself in front of the mirror and began to touch her hair in awe.

"Wow. They're... cool." She really did like the cut. Looking at herself in the mirror usually made her feel uneasy, but she truly liked herself right now. Not exactly because she didn't like her hair before, she didn't know how to express the uneasiness she felt about certain things, or what caused it yet. Maybe short hair just suited her better?

Seth looked at her, smiling. "They really do suit you. You look cooler."

Michelle looked at Seth and smiled back to thank him, slightly blushing at the compliment.

All the sudden, however, the loud ring of a bell made Michelle jump.

"Oh god! I have to go, thank you again! Maybe, uhm... We'll see each other during recess here again"?

"You can count on me!" Chrissy exclaimed.

"Then see you later, bye"!

Michelle put her backpack on in a hurry and ran off the bathroom as she waved at the three guys with her hand, who replied by smiling at her. As she ran to the classroom she had a smirk on her face, she hasn't been feeling that sense of happiness and freedom for a long time. "I can't wait to see them again," she thought.