Nightmare Freddy: Are you having another depressive episode?
Nightmare Foxy: A depressive episode?
Nightmare Foxy: I'm having a depressive series and we're just on season one.

************

Nightmare Freddy: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
Jack-O-Bonnie: Fake?

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Jack-O-Bonnie: *gets set on fire and screams in agony*
Jack-O-Bonnie: Nah, I'm just kidding. Fire does nothing to me.

************

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and-
Nightmare Foxy: No returns.
Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

************

C.C: Can we go to a haunted house?
Psychic Friend Fredbear: What's wrong with the one we live in?
C.C: Wh-what?
Psychic Friend Fredbear: Goodnight, C.C.

************

Nightmare: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

************

Nightmare Fredbear: If you could guess, how many brain cells do you have?
Nightmare Bonnie: Dorito's cool ranch.
Nightmare Fredbear:
Nightmare Fredbear: I'm just gonna assume zero for now.
Nightmare Bonnie: I love that song.

************

Nightmarrrione: And I'd love to be sorry for that, but we all know I've done much, much worse.

************

Nightmare BB: Are you good?
Plushtrap: In what sense?
Nightmare BB: Generally.
Plushtrap: Oh, definitely not.

************

Plushtrap: I'm feeling it! What am I feeling? Death, probably.

************

Jack-O-Bonnie: Would you like something to drink? *he opens the fridge* We have water, milk, juice, spiders, Dr. Pepper-
Nightmare Mangle: Spiders?
Jack-O-Bonnie: Spiders it is then.
Nightmare Mangle: No, that wasn't-
*But he was already pouring them a brimming glass of spiders*

************

Nightmare Chica: Why shouldn't you put a toaster in a bathtub full of water?
Nightmare Bonnie: Because your toast would get soggy!

************

Nightmare Fredbear: What is this!?
C.C: That's the weight of guilt. Give in to the nice side. Help those unfortunate and make the guilt go away, my friend.
Nightmare Fredbear: Ow! Make it stop!
C.C: Surrender to your kindness, Fredbear. It's nice to be nice.
Nightmare Fredbear: Your guilt is strong, my friend. But it is no match for the power of my selfishness!

************

Psychic Friend Fredbear: You know what I've realized?
C.C: Some thoughts are better left unsaid?
Psychic Friend Fredbear: Nice try, anyways-

************

Nightmare Chica: Foxy... Why did you draw a pentagram on the floor?
Nightmare Foxy: Your text told me to satanize the house before you returned.
Nightmare Chica:
Nightmare Chica: I wrote sanitize, Foxy.

************

Nightmare Chica: Question. When they shot Bambi's mother, did you find that a sad moment...at all?
Nightmare Foxy: I'm sure she's mounted on a nice wall in a fine home somewhere.

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Nightmare Freddy, in a room with Nightmare Bonnie, Nightmare Foxy, and Nightmare: It's calm in here.
Nightmare Freddy: It scares me...

************

Nightmare Bonnie: Your smug self-assuredness is revolting.
Nightmare Foxy: I think we need to validate self-confidence more, lest you end up angry at others for having even a sliver of it. I've done nothing wrong, and I have a heart of gold.
Nightmare Chica: I think this message is extremely valid, but also Foxy has implied wanting to set off the Yellowstone super volcano, so what's the truth?
Nightmare Foxy: I want to set it off.

************

Nightmare Fredbear: If God's ever been mad at anything I've ever said, he hasn't done shit about it.
Nightmare Fredbear: So, he either doesn't care or he's a coward.

************

Nightmare Bonnie: What are y'all's favorite things to wake up to?
Nightmare Chica: Breakfast in bed!
Nightmare Foxy: Emails from AO3!
Nightmare Freddy: My favorite thing to wake up to is not waking up at all.
Nightmare Freddy: The screams of my enemies are a close second though.