It was late Friday night and I was drinking my second beer on the couch, watching late night TV.  My heart ached.  I missed Raina, Pippa, and Molly terribly.  The only way to deal with it right now was drown myself in alcohol.  With my feet propped up on the coffee table, I watched Fallon without laughing as I snacked on some Chex Mix.

There was a knock on the door.  I checked my watch and saw that it was almost midnight.  I opened it to find Sofia, obviously upset.  Mascara was streaking down her face.

"Sofia, are you alright?" I asked, alarmed.

"No," she said, letting out a sob.

"Come in, come in," I urged her.  She stepped in and I closed the door.  "Sit down."

She walked to the couch and I went to the kitchen to get her some water.  I handed it to her and she drank gratefully as I sat next to her.

"What happened?" I asked gently.

"Bad date," she told me, wiping at her eyes.  She grabbed a tissue from the box on the coffee table and dabbed under her eyes.  "I tried the online dating thing.  Things were going well, then he apparently expected something at the end of the night.  I told him to go to hell."

"Good for you," I told her.  I could tell Sofia wasn't easily pushed around.  She was a formidable woman.  "Did he hurt you?"

"No," she said.  "I'm just upset.  My husband and I divorced six months ago and it seems like the dating pool is just withered up.  Everyone's either psycho or repulsive."

I'd had the same experience when I'd been single for years.  Luckily, the stars had aligned and I'd met Pippa during Hamilton.

"Well, give it some time," I advised her.  "Give yourself time to recover from the divorce.  That's hard.  Focus on yourself for a while."

"That's what my mom says," she chuckled a little, fidgeting with the tissue in her hand.

"She's a smart woman," I told her.  "After Cam's mom died, it took me a good year before I was even ready to consider dating again."

"How long ago was that?"

"Cam was only three," I said.  "She's fifteen now."

"When did you meet your wife?" she asked.

"About five years ago when we were working on Hamilton together," I said.  "She played my wife onstage, and we both had our girls.  My parents were watching Cam, so I offered that they could watch Molly too, and we became good friends."

She smiled at me through her tears.  "Lucky woman."

I smiled.  "I'm a lucky guy."

It was silent for a few long moments, and I looked way.  "Are you feeling a bit better?"

"Uh...yeah," she said.  "Sorry to barge in on you like this."

"It's okay," I told her.  "Sometimes you just need a friend."

"Yeah," she said, looking at me.  "A friend."

She stared at me, then finally patted her legs.  "Well, I better get home.  The babysitter's probably wondering where I am."

She stood up and I followed her to the door.  I unlocked and opened it and she paused.

"Thanks for listening," she said.

"Sure," I smiled.  She didn't move.  Suddenly, she moved forward and her mouth was on mine.  I was shocked more than anything and didn't pull away for maybe three seconds.  When I pulled back her eyes were on mine, gauging my reaction.

"Sofia..." I began, shifting my weight.  "I'm sorry.  You're a great woman, but I'm married and very much in love."

"Your wife's in another state," she reminded me.  It was like she knew Pippa and I had been fighting.  If ever there were a time I was vulnerable to an affair, it would be now.

"She's with our sick child," I said.  She glanced down and back up at my eyes again.

"Lin, you're a very handsome man," she told me, touching a button on my henley shirt.  "Make sure the woman in your life appreciates that."

She let her eyes linger, then walked out.  I pressed my lips together as I closed the door behind me and locked it.  I linked my hands over my head and sighed loudly.  What had I gotten myself into?  Why did this woman have to show up at this exact time?  I obviously hadn't initiated the kiss, but I hadn't said no immediately.  That was as far as this ever would go.

I chugged back the last of my beer, tossed the bottle, and then turned off the TV.  I wandered back to my bedroom and pulled open one of the drawers that belonged to Pippa.  I pulled out a shirt that belonged to her and brought it to my nose.  I inhaled deeply and immediately felt a connection to my wife.  I kicked off my jeans and shirt, then climbed into bed.  I curled up with Pippa's shirt and tried to forget Sofia.

___

The next morning was Saturday, so Cam took her time getting out of bed.  I made pancakes for Felix and saved a few for my daughter.  We lazed around in the living room watching Saturday morning cartoons as we cuddled.

My mind wandered back to last night.  Sofia had kissed me.  I still felt incredibly guilty, like I had outright cheated on Pippa.  Should I tell Pippa?  She hadn't even met Sofia yet.  I wondered if she'd suspect something.  I was a terrible liar.  I wondered if Pippa would see it on my face.

My phone rang and Pippa's name came up on my phone.  I answered, stroking Felix's hair.

"Hey, Pip," I said.

"Lin, you need to get here now," she told me frantically.  I sat up and then stood to walk back to my bedroom.  Something was wrong.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Raina has an infection," she told me, her voice giving away her true terror.  "Her body got so weak from the treatment.  They don't...they don't know if she'll pull through."

I felt like my heart had literally just been ripped out of my chest.  Everything had been going so well and suddenly she had taken such a downturn.  I questioned her, asking for details as I went to my closet and found my suitcase.  I started throwing things into it.

I hung up, feeling nauseous and whipped down the hallway.  I pushed Cam's door open without knocking.  She awoke with a start.

"Cam, get up.  Pack a suitcase," I told her, opening her closet.  I rummaged around in all her junk and found her suitcase.  "Now."

"Why?" she asked groggily.

"We need to go to Tennessee.  Raina's not doing well."

I walked to the twins' room and started packing things for Felix.  He wandered in and asked what I was doing.

"Buddy, we're gonna get on a plane.  We need to go visit Raina.  She's feeling really sick.  Mommy needs us," I told him.  "Will you go get your toothbrush?"

He nodded, bewildered, and got it, returning a few moments later.  When I looked at him I realized he was scared.  I was acting weird.  I stopped what I was doing and sat on his bed.

"Come here, buddy," I told him.  He walked and I guided him to stand in front of me.  "Everything's gonna be okay, but we need to go be with Raina.  She's very sick."

"Is she gonna die?" I asked innocently.

"No," I said firmly.  "I won't let that happen.  Hey, does Raina have any other favorite toys or stuffed animals we could take with us?"

He nodded and went to the toy basket.  He pulled out a scruffy looking stuffed animal.

"Great.  Pack it in your suitcase."

I went to the kitchen and found my laptop.  I pulled up Expedia and found the next flight available.  It was costing us a lot, but I didn't care at that point.  The flight left in two hours.  Cam got ready quickly, and I could see she was on the verge of tears.  As we rode in the cab, I tried to gently and quietly explain to her what was going on.  She grabbed my hand and wouldn't let go.

Luckily the flight was on time and everything went smoothly.  A few hours later, we were touching down in Memphis.  I was texting Pippa, asking for updates and getting the address for the hospital.  We got a cab and we were there quickly.

I hadn't seen my little girl in weeks, and nothing could have prepared me for what I saw.  She had definitely lost weight and she was pail.  She was asleep in her bed, Pippa sitting next to her bedside.  Molly was working on her laptop on one of the chairs.

Pippa stood up and we hugged warmly.  All our arguments seemed to dissipate.  They seemed ridiculous at this point.  I wish we'd never fought.  Pippa cried softly in my arms, but hid her face so she wouldn't upset the kids.  Felix and Cam gathered around Raina's bedside and looked at her with concerned faces.  I'm sure it was hard for them to see their sister like this.

I kissed my wife and then held her hand.  I turned to look back at Raina and touched her little arm.  It was hot with fever.  Her eyes fluttered open and she squinted.

"Daddy?" she croaked.

I smiled and knelt next to her bed.  "Yeah, baby.  It's Daddy.  How are you feeling?"

Her face contorted a tiny bit.  "Icky."

"Yeah, I bet," I said, gently stroking her arm.  The wig she'd been wearing was sitting on one of the tables.  She was completely bald now.  It broke my heart.  "Look who I brought with me."

I looked towards Cam and Felix, and Raina's eyes followed.  She broke into a smile when she saw her siblings.  They both gave her a hug and a kiss.  Felix climbed into bed with his sister.

"I missed youuuuu," he told her, hugging her tightly.

"Be gentle, Felix," I reminded him.  They started talking and I took the opportunity to motion to Pippa to meet me in the hallway.

"What are they saying?" I asked her.

"The infection's bad because her immune system is so weak," she said.  "They said she has a 50/50 chance of surviving."

I felt like vomiting again.  How had things gotten so bad.  I pulled Pippa to me again and we embraced for a long time.  I smelled her hair and pressed a kiss to her head.  She pulled back and looked me in the eyes.

"I'm so sorry I made us fight," she said.  "It's been killing me."

"Shhh shhh," I urged her, seeing she was getting upset.  "It's not your fault.  We just disagreed.  What's important now is that we're all here."

She nodded with tears in her eyes.  "Oh, Lin.  What are we gonna do?"

I took her face in my hands and looked her directly in the eye.  "We're gonna get through this," I told her, gently stroking her cheek with my thumb.  "I am not gonna let Raina die."

She scoffed tearfully.  "Lin, you can't control everything.  You're not a doctor.  This is out of our hands."

"We can't think that way," I said as she paced around a little.  "We're all here with her.  That has to do something for her spirit.  We need her to fight."

"She's so weak," Pippa said, looking through the door at our daughter, surrounded by her siblings.  She was laughing at something Felix said.  He'd given her the little stuffed animal he'd brought and she was hugging it.

I walked up behind her and put my hands on her shoulders.  "She's a fighter," I whispered, letting my cheek touch hers.  Pippa nodded and we just watched our four children. 

The doctor came by and we caught him before he came into the room.  Pippa introduced me to him and I asked more questions.  He told me the treatment plan and it was important to keep her spirits up.  I thanked him as he went in to check on his patient.  He seemed to have a good rapport with Raina and even made her laugh.

We decided it was getting a bit much to have everyone in the room.  Pippa and I decided that she'd take the kids back to the hotel, except Felix.  We would hang out with her until bedtime.

There was a nice couch in there, so I pulled Raina into my lap and pulled a blanket onto her.  She was still burning up.  I cuddled her close, kissing her head occasionally as we watched Finding Nemo.  It felt so good just to hold her again.  Felix sat next to me, leaning against me.  The sound of their giggles occasionally warmed my heart.

Raina eventually fell asleep in my arms.  I was planning on going back to the hotel with Felix, but I just couldn't pry myself away.  Carefully, I laid down on the couch with Raina on top of me.  Felix was curled up in another chair.  I closed my eyes and drifted off to sleep.  My little girl was safe in my arms, but something I couldn't protect her from still threatened to take her away from me.