Raina cried into my shirt as we waited in the waiting room at the doctor's office. I had my arms wrapped around her and kissed the top of her head. I hated seeing her like this. As a parent, it was the worst, seeing your kid suffer, knowing you could do nothing about it. Well, I was trying to do something about it. Hopefully the doctor would get it right this time.

They called Raina's name and I carried her back to the exam room. The nurse asked me some questions and asked me to set her on the scale. She cried for me, but I held her hand. The nurse recorded her weight and then she was back in my arms.

We'd brought a little blanket from home, so she stayed wrapped up and curled up in my arms. The nurse left and told us the doctor would be in shortly. I pushed her hair away from her forehead and kissed it.

"You want some water, sweetheart?" I offered, and she shook her head. I just held her and waited. The doctor greeted me and Raina when she walked in a few minutes later.

"I hear Miss Raina's still not feeling so hot," she observed, leaning in to look at her. She buried her face in my shirt.

"She's been throwing up multiple times a day," I told her. "The medication didn't seem to do her any good."

"And her appetite?" she began taking notes on her laptop.

"She doesn't eat much," I reported.

She nodded as she typed. "She's lost two pounds since she was here the other day."

"Really? Wow," I said. For a five year old, two pounds was a lot.

"How's her energy level?"

"Low," I said. "She sleeps a lot of the day."

"Okay," the doctor said, putting her stethoscope in her ears. "Raina, I'm gonna listen to your heart okay?"

I adjusted my daughter in my arms a bit so she could get to her chest easier. She instructed Raina to take deep breaths as she moved her stethoscope around her chest. She asked me to lean her forward a bit as she did the same on her back.

"Okay," the doctor said. "Everything sounds good. I'm gonna do some blood tests to see if we can find out anything else. I'll send a nurse back in, then I can answer any more questions you have afterwards."

I leaned my head down to talk to Raina, knowing she wouldn't like getting blood drawn. Anything with needles the kids weren't a fan of. I explained to her what was going to happen and she started crying more. I hugged her tight as we waited for the nurse.

When it was time to get the blood drawn, Raina was too exhausted to do much protesting. The nurse was very understanding, quietly explaining what she was doing. She rubbed her arm with alcohol and found a vein, then drew the blood as quickly as she could. When the needle went in, Raina whimpered a little but didn't protest.

"Good girl," I praised her, kissing her head. The nurse was done and the doctor came to see us again a few minutes later. They'd call us with the results once they were in. When we got home, I got Raina some ice cream and we watched Moana together. She recognized my voice in 'We Know the Way', and smiled at me.

"That's Daddy," she said quietly, smiling.

"That's right," I kissed her forehead. "Daddy wrote that song."

Raina had now stayed home from school for three days, and she was upset about it. She loved school, but she could barely stay awake for two hours at a time. School was out of the question at the moment. The next day, I got a call from the doctor's office.

"Mr. Miranda?" the nurse on the other end said.

"Yes," I said. "Do you have Raina's test results?"

"We do," she said. "Please hold for Dr. Forster."

I thought that was odd. Usually the nurse just told you the results over the phone. I busied myself around the kitchen as I waited for the call to be transferred. Raina was in bed napping, of course.

"Mr. Miranda," Dr. Forster's voice came on the line. "Thanks for waiting. How are you today?"

"Fine," I said. "Raina's still pretty out of it."

"I'm sorry to hear that," she sighed. "Mr. Miranda, we received the test results from Raina's blood. What we're seeing are some abnormalities in her white blood cells. From the results, I can determine that Raina most likely has Acute lymphoblastic leukemia."

I didn't know what to say.

"Mr. Miranda?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked, sinking to the floor. My fingers instinctively went to my hair, grasping in confusion.

"Mr. Miranda, I know this is very difficult to hear," she went on. "But this is the most common type of childhood cancer, and it's very treatable. And we've caught it early, which improves the chances even more."

I felt my heart racing and an unexplainable rage. Why was this happening to my child? My sweet Raina? She didn't deserve this.

"She has...cancer?" I asked.

"I'm afraid so," she said sympathetically. "We need to start treatment immediately so we have the best chance of beating it. Can you come in this afternoon?"

I picked myself up off the floor, scrubbing my hand over my face. I had meetings, and my mom was supposed to come watch her. I would cancel them.

"Yes, we can come this afternoon. What time?" I asked.

We arranged to come in at 2:30. I hung up with the doctor and started pacing, my heart still pounding. The c-word was something you never wanted to hear, particularly when it involved your child. How was I going to tell Pippa? It would devastate her. I put off calling my wife for now and opened my laptop, learning everything I could about acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

I spent probably and hour reading, biting my fingernails the whole time. From what I read, it was an encouraging picture. There were a variety of treatments available. It would be hard on Raina physically and emotionally, but it would have to be done. The alternative was unacceptable.

Finally, I got up the nerve to call Pippa. She answered on the second ring, knowing we were waiting to hear back from the doctor.

"Hey, babe," she greeted me from the other end. She had no idea what was about to hit her. I felt sick having to tell her.

"Hey," I said, my voice shaky. She could instantly tell something was wrong.

"Baby, what's wrong?" she asked. "Is Raina okay?"

"She's napping," I reported, sitting down on the couch. "Listen, Pip. Are you sitting down?"

"Lin..." she said hesitantly. "You're scaring me."

"Are you sitting down?" I repeated.

"Yes," she said, her voice terrified.

"The doctor called," I told her, not wanting to continue but knowing I had to. "They got the results back. And...they think she has leukemia."

The other end was silent.

"Pip?" I asked gently.

"L...leukemia?" she asked confused.

"Yeah," I said, putting my head in my hand. "She said acute lymphoblastic leukemia, and I've been doing some research. It's the most common kind. It's very treatable. There's a good chance she'll be absolutely fine."

"A good chance?" her voice was irate.

"Pippa, take some deep breaths," I instructed her. I could hear her trying to control herself over the phone. "I'm taking her into the doctor this afternoon at 2:30. Do you want to meet us there?"

"Uhh...yeah. Yes," she said. I could picture her pacing around, not knowing what to do with her nervous energy.

"Okay," I said gently. "Are you gonna be okay until then? Do you wanna come home?"

"I...I don't think I can," she told me. "I've gotta...I've gotta figure this out."

The phone cut out unexpectedly and she was gone. I looked at the phone and sighed. Pippa didn't know how to deal with this information. I didn't know how to deal with it. Raina cried from the bedroom. I rushed to her and she'd thrown up again. At least she'd hit the bucket this time. I'd put her hair up in a ponytail in anticipation of this. She cried, so I sat and pulled her into my lap.

I rubbed her back as she calmed down, then I took her to the bathroom to wash out her mouth. When she was done, I took her to the couch for some cuddling. I put on Elena of Avalor, her favorite show.

"Sweetheart, I'm gonna take you back to the doctor again this afternoon," I told her gently, playing with her hair.

"I don't wanna," she complained. She'd already been twice this week. I didn't blame her.

"We've gotta go, sweet pea," I told her. "The doctor looked at your blood and she found out what was wrong, so we're gonna go try to get you better."

"Are they gonna give me some more medicine?"

I wasn't quite sure I understood what was going to happen myself, so I couldn't really explain it to her. I'd be asking the doctor lots of questions this afternoon.

"Yes," I said. "It'll be a different type of medicine. We'll fine out more when we're at the doctor's."

Raina cuddled up with me and fell asleep.

___

At 2:30, I was in the waiting room again and Pippa walked in, looking worried. I stood up as she sat next to us and handed over Raina. I knew she just wanted to hold her.

"Oh, sweetheart," she started crying as she held Raina. "I'm so sorry you're not feeling good."

Raina was quiet as Pippa held her. I took Pippa's hand in mind as we waited.

When we were seen, the doctor had all sorts of charts and illustrations to explain acute lymphoblastic leukemia to us. Raina slept in Pippa's arms as we asked lots of questions, asking her to explain things multiple times. I took notes so we could refer to them later. The doctor was very patient with us and understood this was incredibly upsetting. She assured us Raina would get the best care possible and there was a high probability for this going well.

Once she'd asked all the questions we could think of, she had us take Raina to the Mount Sanai Children's hospital, where they were ready to see her for her first treatment. The doctor had explained this was known as the induction phase, and it generally lasted one month. Many cases went into remission after one month.

At the hospital, she was hooked up to an IV, which again she didn't protest much because she was feeling so weak. The medicine was delivered through the IV and she was watched closely for several hours. I called my parents to explain this situation and ask for them to go home to be with Molly, Cam, and Felix.

The doctor warned that some side effects could include hair loss, mouth sores, loss of appetite, vomiting, and diarrhea. I carried our daughter out after her first treatment, and she was asleep in my arms. We took a cab home and I immediately put her to bed.

We'd asked my parents to keep the news to themselves. We wanted to talk to the kids themselves. After dinner, we sent the kids to their rooms to do homework or play and sat down with my parents to explain the treatment. They seemed encouraged by the prognosis and treatment plan. We just hoped it would work and our little girl wouldn't feel that lousy through the treatments. They left and we were too exhausted to face telling the kids anything tonight. We acted like everything was fine; that Raina was still just feeling sick.

I woke up in the night to an empty bed. I pushed the covers off myself and stood up, thinking Pippa was probably with Raina. I walked down the hallway softly and pushed the twins' door open. Pippa was curled up in Raina's bed with her, fast asleep. I half-smiled at the sight. I knew Pippa was probably in there because she was hurting and just wanted to be with her daughter. The doctor had tried to reassure us that the treatments were highly successful, but there was still a chance that it would work. I don't know what I'd do if we lost her. How would I even function? I didn't want to think about it.

Felix's covers were all messed up, so I carefully rearranged them and pulled them up to his shoulders. I pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead as he slept soundly. I was especially concerned with how Felix would take the news of his sister being sick. They were incredibly close, and he'd be worried for his sister. We'd have to make sure he got plenty of TLC.

As I walked down the hallway, I noticed Cam's bedside light had since turned on. I knocked gently, then pushed the door open. I was surprised to see her curled up in bed, crying.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" I sat down on her bed and touched her arm.

"I heard you," she said, sniffling.

"Heard what?" I asked gently.

"You talking to Abuela and Abuelo," she said. "Raina has cancer?"

I sighed and looked down. "Cam, that wasn't how I wanted you to find out. I'm sorry. Pippa and I were gonna sit all of you down and explain it, but we were just too exhausted after explaining it to Abuela and Abuelo."

"But I'm her sister," she cried. I gently tugged on her arm to have her sit up. I pulled her into my arms as she cried. I felt terrible that she'd overheard the news.

"I'm sorry," I repeated softly as I rubbed her arm. I rested my chin on her head and just held her. It had been a long time since Cam had let me hold her. After a couple minutes, she'd calmed down and she pulled away, wiping at her eyes.

I took her hand in mine and began to patiently explain the situation as best as I could. She asked questions and I tried to answer them the best I could. I didn't want to scare her, but I didn't want to lie to her either. Raina had cancer and it was a serious situation. However, she had a very good chance of making a full recovery.

"Have you been up this whole time?" I asked her gently, tucking some hair behind her ear.

"I had a nightmare," she said. I let out a sympathetic sound and kissed her head.

"Are you okay now?" I asked. She nodded and I told her to lay back down. I held up the covers as she settled in, then tucked her in. Again, it had been ages since I'd tucked her in. I loved that she was letting me. I kissed her forehead and told her I loved her before closing the door.

I peeked in on Molly, who was sound asleep, then went back to my room. I crawled into my empty bed, thinking that this could likely be the case for a while. Pippa's heart was broken and she was trying to stay as close to Raina as she could to try to piece it back together.