My mom had allowed me to go back to the Mirandas, so I thought it was finally time to pay her another visit.  I was still planning on emancipating from her, and I knew she was probably still upset about it.

You had to have an adult go with you, so I asked Pippa.  She gladly took me and we got signed in.  A few minutes later, I was being led to the visitation carrels once again.  My mom looked a little less happy to see me this time.  We both picked up the phones.

"Hi, Mom," I tried to greet her warmly.

"Hi," she said shortly.

I cleared my throat a little bit, feeling nervous.  "Thanks for letting me go back to the Mirandas'.  I like it there."

"So I heard," she told me, examining her fingernails.  Even in prison, they were immaculate. 

"Mom, I'm sorry," I went on.  "I don't want to hurt you, but I need to get away."

"Get away from the person who gave you life?" she said, immediately on the defensive.

I sighed a little, knowing I owed her an explanation.  "Mom, being with the Mirandas has shown me just how messed up our life was.  You have so much drama that I can't think.  You had me steal for you as a little kid.  That's fucked up."

"You always knew you were loved," she countered.

"But Mom, you stress me out," I tried to explain.  "You're always doing something conniving and I'm sick of it.  I'm sick of making enemies because of what you do.  I just want to be able to go to school and be a normal teenager."

"And you can do that with the Mirandas?" she asked.

"Yes," I told her. 

"And what?  You're all buddy-buddy with that daughter of theirs now?"

"We get along," I told her.  "Now that you're not making me part of your drama with them."

"Well, I'm sorry I'm such a burden to you," she said coldly.  "Sorry I spent fifteen hours in labor with you.  Sorry I fed you and kept a roof over your head for sixteen years."

"Mom-" I was starting to tear up.  I never wanted to hurt my mom, but she was obviously upset.  "I love you and I appreciate everything you've done for me, but-"

"You're an ungrateful little brat," she spat at me, looking at me like she was disgusted.  "Don't come visit me again."

She hung up the phone and stormed away.  I sat there, stunned.  I let the tears flow as I stared at the empty seat that my mother had just occupied.  She'd hurt me like I'd hurt her, I guess.

A minute or so later, I stood up shakily and walked out to the waiting room.  Pippa looked up at me and instantly was on her feet.  Her arms closed around me and I started sobbing.

"Ssshhhh," she tried to soothe me as she just held me.  How was this woman, who'd only known me for a few months, whose children I'd hurt, already more of a mother to me than my own mom ever was?

"She's so mad at me," I finally managed, my face buried in her shoulder.

"The whole situation is just upsetting," she acknowledged.  "But you're doing what you have to do.  You're so strong."

"Then why am I crying?" I asked her, pulling back.  Her hands were on my arms, rubbing gently.

"Because you've been strong for too long," she said.  "You're allowed to break down."

I wiped at my eyes and she handed me some tissues from her purse.

"How about we go home?" she suggested.  "We'll eat ice cream with extra chocolate syrup."

I smiled a little.  That sounded good.  We headed home and the house was quiet.  Lin was out for the day doing interviews.  I changed into my sweats as Pippa got out the ice cream.  I walked out as she was scooping two scoops of vanilla into my bowl.  I found the chocolate syrup and whipped cream and piled it on.  We sat on the couch together and watched Netflix.

A couple hours later, Lin came home and pulled out some more paperwork he'd gotten from my lawyer.  We sat at the kitchen table together and worked on it.  I was so glad I had them to help me because I would have no idea what to do otherwise.

"How'd your visit go today?" Lin asked me as we were finishing up.

"Crappy," I told him.  "She hates me."

"I'm sure she doesn't hate you," he countered.  "She's just upset.  Give it time."

"She told me not to visit her ever again," I told him.

"Well, you don't have to," he said, knowing I didn't like going to visit her in prison.  "Now you can focus on you."

I thanked him and went to my bedroom to be alone.  I laid down on my bed and put in my earbuds as I closed my eyes.  Today had been rough, and I didn't want another day like it.

Cam wandered in a while later.  Her parents must have given her a heads up about what had happened because she seemed to tread lightly around me.  After a few minutes, I took out my earbuds.  She tossed me some papers.

"Work from your teachers," she told me.  "Sorry."

"Thanks," I told her, setting it aside as I sat up.

"Molly called me earlier," she told me.  "Guess what?  She says you can be in her room if you want."

I smiled a little, thinking that was nice.

"That's great," I said.  "But...do you mind if I stay in here a little longer?  This whole thing with my mom has me reeling."

"Of course not," she told me, plopping on her bed.  "You can stay as long as you need."

"Thanks," I told her, then changed the subject.  I'd seen something on Instagram earlier about some drama between two girls in our grade.  I asked her to fill me in on what had happened.  She was all too happy to give all the gory details.  By dinnertime and after antics from Felix I was feeling better.  I was laughing and smiling and thinking everything might turn out okay.

____

One month later, it was my day in court.  I was dreading it.  Pippa and Cam had taken me out to find a nice outfit for the occasion.  The day I would divorce my mother.  That morning I couldn't even eat breakfast.  Just the smell of it made me want to vomit.  I managed to get down some orange juice at least.  My hearing was set for 10 a.m.

Lin and Pippa allowed Cam to take the day off school so she could be there to support me. I was so glad she was there too.  I needed all the support I could get.  I hadn't seen my mother since that day I visited her over a month ago.  No phone calls; letters; nothing.

I sat next to my lawyer with Lin, Pippa and Cam sitting right behind me.  I heard a door open and the sound of metal shackles.  My mother emerged, being escorted by a deputy.  She didn't even look at me as she walked in and sat at the other table with her own lawyer. 

The lawyer said a couple things to me but I couldn't tell you what it was.  I just nodded and tried to keep from vomiting all over myself.

Soon, the judge walked in and we all rose.  Things were called to order and we sat down.  It was all a blur from there.  I had to make a statement defending my request.  My voice was shaking as I told the court how the home with my mother was a toxic environment, and how I was thriving with the Mirandas.  The judge asked my mother if she wanted to say anything but she declined.  She still hadn't looked at me.

The judge took some time to look through the paperwork, and asked me if I understood the implications of emancipations.  I told him my lawyer had explained it all to me and I was aware of everything involved with my choice.  He then announced that he was granting my request for emancipation.  All I had to do was sign some paperwork, and I would be legally emancipated from my mother.

I chanced a look at my mother and wished I hadn't.  Her head was down and she looked defeated.  With tears in my eyes, I stepped forward to the table where the paperwork was laid out in front of me.  Lin, Pippa and Cam followed.  I picked up the pen but hesitated.  I felt Lin's hand on my shoulder.

"Is this what you want?" he asked me softly.

I nodded wordlessly and felt a squeeze.  "Take a deep breath," he told me.  I breathed in through my nose, held it, then let it out through my mouth.  My eyes came into better focus and I blinked.  I leaned down, feeling Pippa's hand join Lin's on my back, and signed the document.  I felt claps of congratulations on my back.

I stood up and immediately felt nauseous.  I ran out of the courtroom and threw up in the bathroom.