Random Crack - Mix Ships.


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A/N: 

These are just random thoughts that came to mind but I know I'd never be able to turn into a full story or use them in a oneshot. So, I just added them here and thought I'd add them as random small clips of crack. 

All different ships will be used and I'll note the ship it's aimed towards at the top of it. 

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HOPE YOU ENJOY 

PLEASE VOTE



https://youtu.be/quyjM9r5e_A





#1; JayDick.


"You aren't dating?" Tim

"Were we dating?" Dick

"No. I'm an romantic at heart, I wouldn't have forgotten the extract moment we started dating if we were"  Jason

"No need to hide your relationship any longer, I already know over it" Bruce 

"But we're not dating" Dick

"I would have remembered if we were" Jason

"No need to carry on this lie, Jason. You could do so much better, I wish you chose someone better" Bruce

"What the hell, B! You're always snooping into my relationships and always telling everyone that they deserved better. Why aren't you ever giving anyone the shovel talk like a supportive dad?" Dick

"You're too traumatised Dick, have been for years now. I'm a hero, it's my job to rescue people from bad people" Bruce 

"Geez, I wonder how I go so traumatised?" Dick 

"I'm not sure either. Everyone else seems to be able to cope and handle their trauma much better than you ever did. You're too much of a lose cannon and I'm to blame for it. It's my reasonability's to stop you from ruining someone else's life by dating them. You're a mess. No one can handle you" Bruce

"Ouch" Stephine 

"Bit harsh" Cass

"It's not Dick's fault he failed into turning is trauma into something cool or into a strength" Tim

"Father, I demand you apologize to our traumatize hugger. He will be useless as hugging our trauma away if you trigger his own to flare up again. I have a phone call planned with mother later tonight and I will be in need of Richard's soothing hugs afterwards. Please break him after I've had my turn" Damian 

"I'm starting to regret joining this family. And Dick's .. everything is starting to make a lot of sense if he was the first person raised by Bruce. Dick was clearly the test run and he improved for the rest of us after ruining Dick" Duke

"I-I'm not ruined. I'm just a little broken. Still deserved to be loved as I am. I find love for everyone else, why can't I be loved" Dick

"I love you even with your planet worth of trauma" Jason

"Really?" Dick

"Yeah, Dickhead. I'm gonna marry you and make sure you're not traumatized by the old man anymore in your life" Jason

"I'd like that" Dick

"Todd, I object over you taking Richard away before my phone call with my mother. I am in need of his soothing hugs afterwards" Damian 

"I might just ask Green Lantern to adopt me" Duke



#2; SuperWing (ClarkxDick)


"Do you think I have a chance with him?" Clark

"His types are redheads and superman. You've got a fair chance to win his heart. You'd only have to fear if a redhead superman clone is made. You'll clearly lose to that clone" Bruce 

"Dick's loyal to anyone who buys him cereal without showing their clear disapproval over the sugary shit he eats. Not even a redhead superman clone could charm him from you as long you stay buying his love with cereal" Jason 

"I'll make sure to always be stocked up" Clark


Later on..


"I'm dating Superman! Ha! You all said I was crazy for waiting until I tire him down into loving me" Dick whooped out as he held up the hand he had laced with Clark's. 

"You've been trying to wear me down?" Clark asked in surprise as he stared at his giggly boyfriend, wondering how he hasn't noticed the other man has been trying to charm him before now. 

"For a very long time, thanks for noticing" Dick dryly replied to his newly gained boyfriend and knew he just had to wait the long game into catching his heart. 




#3; Birdflash



"I thought you were only doing half patrol tonight?" Red Hood

"I was" Nightwing 

"Why are you here?" Robin

"I'm the only one free.. apparently" Nightwing

"I apologize for ruining your evening, Nightwing. It seems Lex's hired goons are using weapons that even I am powerless before" Wonder Women

"They've also got kryptonite bullets. I'm afraid I'm just as powerless for this fight" Superman 


Nightwing merely nodded his head as he glanced to the team of four that had been called into to deal with Lex Luthor's recent illegal shipment. All of them hiding outside the door of the warehouse, all the other entrance points boobytrapped skilfully enough that someone would get hurt while disarming them. Or worse, the bad guys inside would be warned over their entry point and be prepared for their entrance. 

Nightwing sighed as he glanced to the watch he had placed on wearing over his sleeve to keep an eye on the time at all points of his shorten patrol. Or was shorten patrol. 

Deciding he's wasted enough time here already and knowing he had nothing else to lose right now. He agreed to the first idea that popped into his head. 


"Little wing, give me your guns. And the mags with the live rounds" Nightwing 

"Wha-" Red Hood

"Don't argue. You won't win, not tonight" Nightwing 

"Nightwing, the bat's morals" Superman 

"As a man of steel, you're pretty useless to me right now. So, shut up" Nightwing 

"Nightwing!" Wonder Women 

"Don't scold me. You're currently just as useless as him right now" Nightwing

"I beg you, Richard, adopt me already" Robin 

"Can't do that, baby bat. B hide up the adoption papers Wally and I had gotten ready in his batman safe. Can't sign those papers if we don't have them. And he's paid every other lawyer in the world to not write us up new adoption papers" Nightwing 


Nightwing casually removed the mags full of rubber bullets from the two guns from Red Hood's thigh holsters. He slipped in the live rounds and moved over to the door, opening it by a crack and knowing all attention was now on him from both outside and inside. 

"Listen up people! It is cereal date night. A once a year event for me. My husband had set it up to spoil me and give me a break from hero life for one evening. I can still head home before my cereal grows too soggy from the already poured milk IF YOU all surrender this second" Nightwing

A long silence filled the air as Nightwing held up the guns, giving all inside a chance  to think up over surrendering and taking pity on him. Cereal date night was very important to him and he knew that once his cereal goes soggy, the date night would be over with and his husband wouldn't make up a second bowl for him. Instead, he'd have a sulking and unhappy husband for the rest of the week due to him failing to appear on cereal date night and having his planned out rest from the hero world. 


"Sorry birdie, Lex's paid a large sum. Too large to simply walk away from this job" Slade 

"Will it cover a decent treatment during a stay at the hospital" Nightwing 

"Pays good enough that I'd be getting the GOOD jelly cups with my meals" Slade 

"I'm going to shoot everyone inside at least once. Some of the unlucky few with be shot twice or three times. I'll try to hold back on shattering any kneecaps but my husband will be pouring milk into my cereal in about five minutes. If I'm still fighting when that happens, I'm not to blame for any shattered kneecaps" Nightwing 


"Is it really cereal date night?" Slade

"Yes" Nightwing 

"Damn. No wonder Lex was demanding for me to answer within minutes of offering the job. No one with half a brain would have worked tonight" Slade 

"I'll let you decide on where I shoot you if you give up Lex's current address. I'll deal with him purposely for ruining cereal date night. He knows not to mess with a man's cereal" Nightwing 

"I agree to the deal. Shoot me in the right foot. Healing a bullet hole in the butt is always awkward and embarrassing. I'd rather take being shot in the foot" Slade 

"Understood" Nightwing 


For the next ten minutes Nightwing had used his skills gained from training under Slade and other assassins to deal with the goons inside. Shooting foots and butts, knowing they hurt the most and were ethe most embarrassed and awkward to heal, inside or outside of a hosptail. 

Shattering a few kneecaps once his knew milk had been added to his cereal and he'd never make it home before his cereal turned soggy. 



Later that Night...


"Father, I demand you return the adoption papers to Richard and West. I wish to legally be their son from this day onwards" Robin

"What happened?" Batman

"I'm never fucking with cereal date night ever! Holy SHit! Is this why two face hasn't even dared to break out of his cell since the last date night?" Red Hood

"Oh no" Batman 


The Next morning..


"Lex ruined cereal date night" Dick

"Dick, we've talked about your outburst during cereal date night. You can't keep doing this to criminals. It's inhuman" Bruce

"He shouldn't have messed with my date night. Wally poured a whole bowel full of cereal for me. A whole bowl full that ended up soggy and I couldn't eat. I also currently having a sulking husband at the apartment due to not having my promised rest night. Lex's lucky he's still alive and able to breath without a tube" Dick

"I'm telling Alfred" Bruce

"He already praised me for my creativity" Dick 




#4; ConDick


"What are you doing?" Wally

"I'm dying my hair" Kon

"Why?" Wally

"Dick likes redheads and superman. I'm a clone of superman so I'm half way of being his type. Just need to make sure I'm the only one for him by being a redhead too" Kon

"Try to make your super jumps feel like flying when you carry him and it'd seal the deal for him" Wally



#5; No Ship. Batfam. Reverse Robins. 


"Are we lost?" Robin Dick

"Of course not, don't speak such nonsenses again" Batman Damian 

"But I don't recognized that blood stain on the wall.." Dick

"Listen to me, Robin, very carefully. Just because you have found yourself lost doesn't mean I stand lost with you. Just stay close as I carry on leading us the correct route" Damian 


Meanwhile...


"Five of Alfred's cookies say that they're lost" Jason

"Make it ten and you've got a bet. Damian is terrible but he wouldn't have dared risk placing Dick in danger by getting them lost" Tim

"They're lost. That blood stain is new" Cass

"How have we learnt our city by her blood stains and not by anything normal?" Duke

"It's like you weren't even raised in this city sometimes" Stephine 




#6; Slade x Dick.


"I'm keeping him" Slade

"You can't keep me, Slade. We've talked about this" Dick

"I will love you unconditionally" Slade

"Oh no, he's winning me over, guys" Dick

"Don't be weak willed" Bruce

"I will never see you for your mistakes but for who you stand to be" Slade

"I'm a very weak man, B" Dick

"We need to come up with some good reasons on why Dick should stay a bat" Tim

"And fast. He's falling" Cass

"You'll forever be too precious to me, Birdie, to ever give away for my own selfish greed" Slade

"Oh whoa.. I'm in trouble of really falling for good" Dick

"Why can't we come up with a good enough reason for him to refuse Slade's promise of a better life?" Duke

"Have you met this family?" Babs

"You'll never be used as a prawn to me. I'll never be ashamed to show the world my devotion to you and will spend the rest of my life proving that I'll forever want you in my life. I'll never stop cherishing you" Slade

"I REALLY need you guys to come up with something for me to reject all of that because I'm starting to hear wedding bells and don't want to leave his arms anymore" Dick

"Damn, I'm starting to root for the hitman" Jason 

"Not once will I throw you away, Richard. You'll forever belong to me and be all that I will ever need in my life" Slade

"You can keep me" Dick

"Richard! I forbid you from leaving me with Father" Damian 

"We shall co-parent your son" Slade

"You don't mind marrying a single father?" Dick

"I'd be honoured to be trusted around your kid and will fill with nothing but pride to watch him grow up into his own person" Slade

"Keep me forever" Dick


"Why aren't you guys stopping him?!" Bruce

"Bye guys, I'll make sure to write" Dick

"I'll have Alfred pack our bags. I'll awaited to be collected by the end of the week, Richard" Damian 




#7; RoyDick.



"Come on, we're getting married tonight" Robin

"Rob, we're not even dating. And we're both underaged. We need our parents permission. And I don't want our marriage to start by us both feuding our father's signatures" Speedy

"Oh. That's what I forgot. Oh well, we'll just have to start dating after we're married. Let's elope first" Robin

"Did you get any sleep in the last forty-eight hours? Bumped into any rogues that use pollen or positions or poisons?" Speedy

"Almost weekly. But I'm in love with you and B's currently in a coma. He'd never approve over marrying an Queen. Now's our chance to get married. I'll charm you into wanting to date me afterwards" Robin

"That sounds like a reasonable reason to get married first. Let me grab a tie from home, I want to look my best at our wedding"

"Don't change. Technically Dick and Roy can't marry but nothing is stopping Robin and Speedy from getting married" Robin

"Ooh, loopholes. I love it! I'm going to grab my best hat too" Speedy 

"Hurry up. Wally already signed up to be a priest online and is waiting to marry us before anyone figures out our plan is in motion" Robin 





#8; Clark x Dick


"I don't wish to sound sappy but I feel full of life by his smile alone as much as I would if I stood charging by the sun. Realistically I know Dick can't recharge my powers as the sun can but sometimes I forget and just feel brand new whenever he stands shining before me" Clark 

"You have my blessing" Bruce 

"Thank you, Bruce" Clark 

"He's all yours now" Cass

"No returns" Tim

"No takes back" Jason

"We don't accept returns even with recipes" Damian 

"He's truly your problem now. Thank you for the sacrifice, old friend" Bruce 

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