IT WAS SATURDAY. Time for my weekly psych eval.

My therapist was totally on Alex's payroll. I could tell that from our first appointment. After the fifth time he had asked why I was afraid of Alex's love for me, I saw what was going on.

I didn't make it easy for him. Our sessions pretty much consisted of me telling him that Alex bought me, and him telling me that Alex didn't. I think he thought he was wearing me down. He wasn't.

We sat for a while and stared at each other, until my doctor said, "So, how was your week."

I didn't answer. I was too busy staring out the window. It was beautiful outside, too beautiful to be stuck talking about my feelings or whatever.

"Siobhan?"

I glanced at him. "What?"

"Your week?"

I shrugged. "It was okay. I'm still in stew school. Alex hasn't sold me off. Other than that, things are awesome."

He frowned and wrote something down. "Let's explore that. What do you mean by Alex selling you off? " He finger quoted the selling me off part.

I studied my nails. "I mean, Alex hasn't sold me off. It was something that Cesare, his brother, said. That if I didn't straighten up, they'd sell me."

My doctor chuckled. "I'm sure that he didn't mean that literally. You know Alex isn't going to sell you to anyone."

I smiled.

His smile faded. "Selling you would be human trafficking, Siobhan, and it's illegal. While I'm sure Alex wouldn't sell you because it's morally reprehensible, but the fact that it's also illegal - "

"It's only illegal if you get caught," I interrupted.

The doctor sighed. "Siobhan, why do you think Alex would sell you off?"

"I don't know. Because he bought me." I played with Useless's ears. "He could decide that I was a bad investment and sell me off."

The doctor took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "When you say he bought you, you mean it in the sense that you gave up your goals for financial comfort, correct?" He chuckled again. "I mean, the way you're saying it is that he bought you - "

"No. I mean that he bought me."

He looked up, a serious expression on his face. "Siobhan, Alex, didn't buy you."

"Yes, he did."

"No, he didn't. Alex didn't buy you, Siobhan. Think of it as more of a dowry." He uncrossed his legs, then crossed his legs. "Bridal dowries are still traditional in some parts of the world."

"So's female circumcision," I snorted. "Doc, you and I both know it wasn't a dowry. It was a sale. My brothers sold me to Alex, and in return, he gave them money so that the IRS wouldn't find out they'd been cooking the books. Or something like that." I waited for him to write whatever he was writing down and rubbed Useless's head. Useless sighed contently.

After he finished writing, he said, "Siobhan, let's play a word association game. I will say a word and you say a word back, the very first word that comes to mind. Okay?"

"Sure. Sounds insightful."

"Alright -"

"Next."

"I'm not - "

"What?"

"Wait -"

"Why?"

"Siobhan, stop it!"

"Alex!" I exclaimed.

He made a T with his hands. "Time out, time out. I will let you know when we start."

"Okay, Doc. You're the man."

He wrote something else down. "Alright, we are starting now. Right."

I waited.

"Right," he repeated.

I continued to wait.

He looked at me. "That's the word. Right. What's the first thing you think of when I say the word right?"

"Oh." I thought about it. "Left."

"Consequence."

"Incentive."

"Police."

"Stormtroopers."

He wrote something down. "Jail."

"Alex."

"Prison."

"Alex."

He paused to write something else down. "Moral."

"Hypocrites."

"Love."

"Jason." I covered my mouth.

He immediately looked. "Who's Jason?"

Sensing I was upset, Useless put his muzzle on my leg. "A dog I used to have. He used to follow me everywhere. He ran away, though, and I'm having difficulty getting over it."

He studied me. "Your dog was named Jason?"

I nodded. "I liked the name."

"It's an odd name for a dog."

"I suppose. Maybe. I named him after Jason and the Argonauts. You know, the golden fleece, the dude who dicked over Medea...that Jason."

"I'm familiar," he replied drily. "So you were attached to Jason?"

"Very much so." I rubbed Useless's head. "I don't know why. He was a horrible dog. He was always barking, he didn't listen to me at all, and he made so much fun of me... I mean, he was always doing bad things."

He wrote something down. "Why did you love him?"

I looked out the window. It was now all clear to me. The bantering, the salty remarks, the off-color jokes...underneath everything there was a truth I didn't see because I was too blinded by his badge and his job. "Because he cared about me."

"You have a new dog. Useless." He pointed at him with his pen. "Do you love him?"

"Oh yes." I leaned over and kissed his muzzle. Useless, in turn, gave me a doggie kiss. "He's a sweet boy."

"But not Jason."

"No. Not Jason." I looked back out the window.

I heard the pencil scratch on paper. After a moment, the Doctor asked, "Have you looked for him?"

I turned back to him and nodded. "Everywhere. I can't find him. I hope that whoever has found him is taking care of him."

"Have you thought about posting a reward?"

I sighed. "No. Alex never liked the dog."

The Doctor wrote something else down.

I met his eyes. "Doctor, Alex really hated Jason. Could you do me a favor and not mention Jason when you discuss me with Alex?"

"I don't discuss you with Alex, Siobhan," the doctor replied, affronted. "Our meetings are private. It would be a violation of my professional ethics for me to discuss any of our appointments with him."

"I know," I replied. "Just don't bring this up. It's as much for your safety as mine."

The Doctor stopped writing. "What do you mean, Siobhan?"

I continued playing with the dog's ears. "Oh, I think you know what I mean, Doc. Alex is a powerful man, and I'm fairly sure he knows how I feel about Jason. My telling you about Jason  means that you know something you probably shouldn't, and I don't know how Alex would feel about that. Think about how he feels about me talking about being sold."

The Doctor paled. "I see our time is up. For the next week, I think you should practice gratitude. Be grateful for how positive things are in your life. In fact, why don't you write me a list of everything you're grateful for and bring it to therapy with you next time."

"Sure thing, doc." I saluted and headed back out to the waiting room. Alex was there, waiting for me, a print copy of the Economist in hand. He tossed the magazine back on the table and stood up. "Hi, baby. How was it?"

"Eh. So-so. I don't think my doctor likes me."

He opened the door for me. "Why's that?"

"I don't know. A feeling." I took his arm as we walked down the stairs. "He wants me to write a list of everything I'm grateful for and bring it next week."

"I think that's a good idea." 

"You would." I made a face. "Gratitude, smatitude."

"Yeah, gratitude." He stopped and pinned me against the wall. "Gratitude is healthy," he murmured before he kissed me long and hard.

"I think I found one thing I'm grateful for," I panted when he raised his head a bit. "Kiss me again so I can be sure."

He pulled back and kissed my forehead. "Later. Tonight. I'll kiss you all over... "

"Now, Alex," I whined.

"Delayed gratification," he smiled. "I love you, baby. I am so proud of how you're doing. We'll make a wife out of you yet."

Before I could reply, he pulled me off the wall and led me down the last flight of stairs. One of the building's residents climbed by us. "Get a room," he snarled.

"Okay, hey, Alex, let's get a room." I wrapped myself around his arm. "We can get a room, and then I'll get all naked, and you can kiss me some more."

"Tempting, but it's too nice out. We need to enjoy it while it lasts." He kissed the top of my head. On Saturdays Alex took me around the city. It was his way of helping me acclimate. "What do you think about a walk on the High Line and maybe catch a movie?"

I giggled. "Awesome. Just as long as it's not a chick flick. You know I hate chick flicks."

"No chick flicks, then. I'm sure there's an axe murder movie out there somewhere."

"Thanks, Alex!" I loved Alex like this, when he was soft and fluffy. It's when he reminded me of my Alex, the Alex I grew up with, who made me laugh and told me stupid jokes.

My doctor's office was in Soho; to get down to the High Line would be a hike, but that was fine. It was a gorgeous fall day. The sky was fiercely blue; the leaves were almost at their peak. Everyone was out, soaking up the sun for the last time until next spring.

A pair of shoes in a store window caught my eye. I wandered over to see them, pulling Alex with me. "Look! Those are so cute - "

A loud buzz, like a hornet, whizzed past my ear. The window shattered. Everything got super quiet. I turned to Alex. "Alex, the window broke."

People were screaming, muffled, like they were far away. Some yelled about a gun.

"Move!" Alex pushed me into the store as the dog ran past us. More buzzing - bullets - as we crashed to the floor, Alex on top of me. I struggled against him. "Useless! Where's the dog?"

Alex squeezed me tight. "Shh. He's inside, it's okay, stay still."

The sound of sirens took the place of bullets, but we stayed still for the longest time. A squad car pulled up onto the sidewalk. There was shouting to stand still. A uniformed cop stuck his head in.  "Mr. Cosetino. Your car is waiting around the corner."

Alex cautiously stood up and held out his hand.  "Let's go, baby." He whistled and the dog came flying from the back. "Hurry, baby."

I pushed myself up and took his hand. The cop led us around the corner to Alex's Escalade, then disappeared.

"What was that, Alex?"

"We'll talk about it when we get home." He opened the door as a  tall man with blonde hair, a goatee, and a determined expression marched towards us, a firearm in his hand.

I froze. "Alex, he has a gun... "

Alex cursed as Vinnie came from behind the SUV, weapon in hand. He raised his gun and shot the man in the head. The man's eyes went blank and blood began to stream from his mouth. I heard a scream and realized it was me.

"Siobhan, come on, baby, don't look." Alex shoved me forward. "In the car. Now." Useless jumped in and I followed. Alex climbed in behind. Tires squealed as we pulled into traffic.

"A... A... Alex, that guy... he shot him." I turned to look out the back, but we were already too far away.

"It's okay, baby," Alex muttered as the driver handed him a phone. "I gotta make a few calls."

"Alex! That man... your guy, the old guy... blood and... " My voice trailed off. "Alex! I'm... I don't know... "

"Shh." Alex's face was pale with rage. "Cesare. Listen to me. Constantinov took out a hit. They came after her in Soho. Vinnie took out one of the shooters, but I'll say it again, Cesare, we can't be public like this. You told me you had things handled."

The dog tried to curl up in my lap as I tried to curl up in Alex's.

"Alex... "

"In a minute, Siobhan." He pushed me off his lap.

"Alex! Stop it... "

He lowered the phone. "In a minute. I'm talking to Cesare."

I turned my back on him and buried my face in the dog's fur. He was shaking almost as much as I was. Alex continued to rant.

"Cesare, I made good on the debt. He had no right... I don't care. You tell Max whatever you want, but he comes after me, I come after him, you get me? It's blood for blood, you know that."

The sirens were getting closer.

My hands were shaking.

Well, shit. There goes my Saturday.

_____ * _____ * _____ * _____ * _____

Okay, I've been pretty good about keeping things original, but this chapter I had to tweak because, to be honest, I hated the original. So I changed it from running into one of Alex's mistress to this. I kind of like this better. I hope you do, too.

Thank you so much for taking time to read Siobhan's story! I look forward to your comments, and if you liked it, please remember to vote!

©Copyright Liz Charnes May 2018

This work is protected by copyright and cannot be copied or used in any way without my express consent. Please don't steal it. Thank you!