◈A D R I A N◈

My grip tightened around the handle and I swung it with full force, the bat coming down fast in a violent whoosh. Closing my eyes, I waited for the sickening crunch of a skull at the other end of the bat. And maybe I doubted my decision for a split second as I dreaded to feel the light splash of blood on my face mingling with the raindrops.

Deep in my thoughts, I didn't hear the hurried footsteps before an unsuspecting impact collided with me from the right, knocking the breath out of me as I crashed against a dumpster. The shock caught me unguarded and the bat fell from my relaxed grip, dropping to the muddy ground pathetically.

"Fuck!" I cursed out loud as I planted my hands against the smelly bin to catch my footing. Immediately, I looked out for the woman but could only catch a brief glimpse of the red umbrella before it disappeared behind a brick wall.

The woman must have mistaken the noise to be the clap of the thunder as she rounded the corner without looking back. The clack of her boots sounded fainter as she walked towards safety, blissfully unknowing of her near death. My first instinct was to go after that bitch but the tall figure stepped forward and blocked my sight. I looked up and the face of my assailant had me stumped.

Logan.

Mad and extremely furious Logan staring right at me with recognition even with the mask and hood.

Shit, shit, shit! How did he even find me? He was supposed to be passed out on his couch!

I averted my gaze and dropped it to the small puddle under his sneakers, suddenly feeling extremely self conscious. My feet started retreating slowly as if they automatically switched to flight mode.

The chilling wind howled as it rushed past us into the narrow alley and it felt oddly cold for my covered face. I quickly reached for my face with a trembling hand only to find the lopsided mask had revealed most of my face.

Fuck!

I quickly dipped my head low and pulled the hood down over my head and sidestepped Logan, my back pressed firmly against the dumpster to gain more distance between us.

Before I could take another step further, the pair of sneakers stomped closer and a hand roughly yanked off the mask, the fabric scrunching up in his tight grip. Logan's furious gaze burned my damp skin as my cheeks tingled with a slight pain left by his fingers.

"Just what the fuck do you think you're doing?!" he growled. He threw a dirty look to the bat and back to me, putting two and two together. "Were you-" he stopped himself as if he couldn't bear to finish his sentence. "Were you trying to kill her with that?"

I gulped nervously, looking at anywhere but his face because I know I would break apart into a million pieces if I saw the disappointment in his eyes.

Why is he yelling at me? I did this for him! Feeling wronged, my guilt transformed into anger.

"So what if I did? She deserves it," I justified, facing him straight on. Clenching my fists, I willed my thumping heart to calm down.

"What?" Logan asked incredulously.

"That bitch ruined your life! How could you let her get away so easily?!" I screamed, my chest heaving with angry puffs.

Logan's hand shot out and gripped tightly on my arm, shaking some sense into me. "Do you even hear yourself? This is murder we're talking about! Not some games where you kill people to level up."

I struggled against him but it was futile. He was too strong and I was shaking too much to even put up a proper fight. "She's a bitch and I'm just helping the world to punish assholes like her!"

Logan pulled me towards the bat and pushed me to the ground. I landed with a splash and blinked away the burning tears. Adrenaline had left my system, leaving me boneless and weak.

Logan kneeled next to me and grabbed the bat. "So you're going to take that bat and smash her head? And then what? Walk away like nothing had ever happened and go on with your life?" His right hand squeezed my shoulders, a silent plea.

I pushed his hand off my shoulders and turned my head away. I didn't want his touch now.

Logan continued, "Do you remember how you felt when you saw that man dropped dead in front of you? Are you prepared to feel that again only a hundred times worse because this time, you are the one holding this?" He dropped the bat on my lap. Almost instinctively, I pushed it away as if it burned my thigh with hellfire.

The loose gravel scraped the pads of my fingers as I dug them into the soil. I didn't understand why things went downhill every time I tried to do something right. I just wanted to help. Was that wrong too?

The silence stretched as we stayed under the rain. Sensing that we were trapped in a stalemate, Logan sighed and hooked a hand under my arm trying to pull me up. "Let's go before both of us get sick."

I yanked my arm away and scrambled to my feet on my own. My clothes were soaked thoroughly and the weight made me wobble on my feet. I held my head indignantly and said, "I will do it again even if I was given a second chance."

Logan's eyes flashed. He took a threatening step and asked, "Did you even listen to what I was saying?"

"I heard you! I heard you loud and clear alright! But can't you see that I was helping you?" my voice rose with desperation. "If you didn't interrupt me just now, Kara would be good as dea-"

Pain exploded from my left cheek and I tasted blood on my tongue. I cradled my cheek and looked at Logan with disbelief. His eyes were red with fury and his clenched fist shook with anger.

Logan just punched me.

He pointed a finger at me and gritted out, "I dare you to finish that sentence."

I wiped the blood from the corner of my mouth and glared back. "I said, she would be as good as dead now if you didn't interrupt me!"

Logan growled, "Have you gone fucking crazy?! If I didn't track my phone down here, you can bet your damn ass you're on your way to damnation!" He lunged at me and before I could dodge, we slammed to the ground when my right foot stepped on a plastic bag and slipped. Fortunately, we fell on some trash bags and sodden cardboard boxes lying near the dumpster and they absorbed most of the impact from the fall.

I groaned and stirred under Logan, stopping when I felt something squishy under my back as I struggled to throw him off. "Get off of me!" I huffed.

Instead of getting up, Logan pressed his weight on me and gripped my cheeks, making me look at him squarely. "Do you know who you sound like right now? You sound just like that bastard Damon. You're turning into him, into a ruthless lunatic who kills for fun," his low voice rang loud amidst the shower of rain.

I blinked up at him in bewilderment, "I didn't kill for fun, I did it for you! You think I would go around stalking someone for fun? If Kara didn't hurt you like that, I wouldn't even waste my breath on her!"

"I never ask you to kill her!" Logan refuted.

I clung desperately onto my pride as I felt the corner of my eyes burned. I looked away and whispered, "You don't need to. I will do anything for you."

The weight on my chest lifted up and I peeked from the corner of my eyes. Logan had gotten up and he was now straddling me. Confusion was evident in his eyes.

"Why would you do that?" he asked softly.

Maybe it was impulsive desire or careless stupidity, but I gave in and pushed myself up, grabbing Logan by his neck. I took him by surprise as I pressed a kiss on his lips, two cold lips meeting under such laughable circumstances.

Logan stiffened under my touch and bitterness filled my heart. He hates me, I thought to myself. I shouldn't be surprised but I had a sliver of unrealistic hope that maybe he likes me just a bit too.

I kissed him harder in poor effort to gain any response from him. As inexperienced as I was, all I could do was to double my effort. That seemed to jolt Logan into reality because he pushed away from me and wiped his mouth. His wide eyes looking at me like I had grown two heads when all I did was kiss someone I loved.

"I'm not gay," he muttered and turned his heels, walking away from me.

I laughed bitterly, my heart squeezed tight until it hurts to even breathe. "I like you, Logan," I confessed softly.

I slumped back on the ground and listened to the sound of his footsteps. I allowed the floodgates to open and my tears soon joined the droplets on my face before rushing down my cheeks. Squeezing my eyes shut, I yelled, "I said I like you, goddamnit!"

I swore he heard me because his footfall stopped. Foolish ol' me still had a tiny hope that he would come back for me but the splashing of water under his sneakers resumed and growing fainter steadily.

Why can't you like me back?

I bit down on my lips trying to hold it in but a sneaky sob escaped them. My fingers clutched at my heaving chest hoping to alleviate the pain but my heart clenched stubbornly and I wished I could claw it out and throw it away.

Maybe then I wouldn't hurt so bad.

✈

Author's note

I had finally gotten back some control over my life and wrote this chapter. I am so sorry for breaking my promise over and over again. That two weeks promise totally went down the drain ><

But on the bright side, the next chapter will be the final chapter of Book 1 and I can finally mark this book as completed! Hallelujah!

{Song: I Always Wanna Die (Sometimes) by The 1975}