I did not see Alejandro again, not for a long time. Instead, the show host took me under his wing. He picked me up from the hospital and took me into his home. I lived with him for a short while. He explained to me that Alejandro had to go on another one of his secret missions. I did not press for more. I could sense that the gesture was very much appreciated.

I didn't feel like returning back to school for all the drama that had transpired. I struck a deal with him that I would home school for the rest of the month, and then he could put me in school for the year ahead. I had always been smart, I just never excelled for my parents sake. "You're just showing off. Know your place!" They didn't even like it when my grades were above average. I had to go over my answers to calculate how many I should get wrong so I couldn't score too high. It made so much more sense now, why they never wanted me to be good at anything. It would have come in the way of what I was bred for.

The show host did his best to make me feel comfortable while I stayed with him. I didn't want to be in the way, so I was temporarily bunked in a hotel suite, where he would check upon me on a daily basis. It gave me the seclusion I needed to catch up on my studies, and finally apply myself like I wanted. It gave me something else to think about, besides the events that happened, or all my so called "training sessions." Every once in a while, a memory would come up. A memory of "Touch yourself here," while they would tell me what sounds I should make. If I didn't, it was back in the machine, where they would make me stand, and those horrid electrical currents would slip through my body, hurting me. They didn't compare at all, to the last memories of my parents, but now that I knew their purpose....I would drown myself in homework assignments so that there wouldn't be any more room in my mind to think of it.

The show host was much easier to bond with than either of my so called parents. Eventually, my trust opened up enough that I didn't mind telling him how I could tell the difference with Alejandro's personalities. I found it difficult to explain. The outer things were very slight. It was mostly something I felt in my soul. I also entrusted him with the knowledge that my dreams sometimes predicted things. It wasn't really something that I talked about to people. It never made me feel comfortable to talk about it, but he did tell me that the machine possibly did something with my "third eye" or whatever.

"Have you ever thought of delving into that, or making money off of it?"

"I just want to be an ordinary girl."

"Fair enough."

I think he understood how much I craved normalcy in a world where I was given none. The show host also had a very paternal streak, mixed with a goofy big brother type personality. He cracked jokes and laughed with me as well as watched over me. One day, he found me doing my homework. He asked me what I was doing. I attempted to reply. I could tell my answer went way over his head.

He said, "You know what? Never mind! I feel awfully dumb when I'm around you."

"I'll try to remember to dumb down my answers next time, Dumb-dumb." And so, the nick-name stuck.

Dumb-dumb had quite a few celebrity friends. One comedian in particular, he let me see his father side as well. This comedian spent a lot of time with Dumb-dumb. He was hilariously funny. I called him Loco. I caught myself wondering how different it would have been for me, if I had fathers like either of them. There were things going on in show-biz that the public eye was unaware of, things that neither of them wanted to be a part of any more than Alejandro or I did; but I could see that they kept that part of their lives separate from their families, protecting them from what they themselves did not wish to know, but could not break away from.

Both Loco and Dumb-dumb were aware of what went on in "the business." Dumb-dumb even admitted that he was supposed to be my watcher. He was to report if I had any new developments. Loco was a baby-sitter as well, but not just for me. He was supposed to squeal on either of us if we weren't behaving or following commands. Both of them though, made it clear that as far as loyalty went, they would follow the orders of Alejandro before anyone else. That gave me comfort, and hope. Meanwhile, Dumb-dumb and Loco both acted like neither one of them enjoyed the things they had to do. They even asked me more into detail the things I did to fake along, some of which they found to be useful for themselves. If there was anything new that I learned about myself from all of this, it was that I could feel that they were telling the truth. I could feel that I was not in any danger with them personally. They both gave me meditations to perform on my own that would help to enhance those senses.

They also taught me more about the different parts of Alejandro. The first one was Loki. He came about when Miguel was just a child. Miguel didn't take too well from being separated from his mother. They gave him drugs and "mind sessions." Things I knew about all too well, but he was never able to overcome them. They managed to control him with that machine. This is when little Miguel began to split apart. Loki came out of him, the spoiled rotten child. He was the selfish side of Miguel that would throw a tantrum to get what he wanted, but he was also the side with the most talent. Miguel began to be seen less and less of, as the Loki child was easier to make cash from, even with his anger issues. He was never told no for anything, and the end result was a young sociopath. What made it worse was the mind machine that took every part of Miguel that hurt and cried, it tucked him away. He was never given a name. He was simply called "the crying child." He only came out every once in a while.

Alejandro grew older, and Loki proved not to be very polished. They induced the treatment again, and Romeo appeared. He was the polite one. He was the chameleon. Loco and Dumb-dumb were concerned that he was "initiated" in his early adolescence, and possibly even sooner.

"They got to me too."

"Me as well."

A choice was taken away.

Shortly after, Romeo showed up less and less, making Loki appear more often, and sometimes even Miguel. Miguel would often appear scared and frightened, not remembering where he came from, or where he had been. More sessions were given, this time on Romeo. The dancer appeared. He was an extension of Romeo himself, but it made him unstable, and kept him preoccupied in trying to keep himself together. Anything from certain types of applause to flashes of light could set him off and make him mindlessly start dancing. I thought of the day by the animal shelter when I was told that story. I remembered all too well his dancing. I wondered if anyone had used him in those vulnerable moments.

There were also those that popped up without any sessions at all. Carlos was among them, but besides me, only Dumb-dumb and Loco were the only ones aware of his existence. They told me, "We never reported him." Carlos would come around whenever Romeo felt uncomfortable or guilty. He would even pop up on movie sets when Romeo "just wasn't feeling it." Most of the movie producers and other cast members couldn't tell the difference between Romeo and Carlos. The problem though, Carlos enjoyed it a little too much. Sometimes he would take over in the most awkward of moments, and then Romeo or Hugo and sometimes even Loki would wake up in weird places, sometimes with people sleeping right next to them....or not...and have no memory of how they got there. I sensed the work of murder in what was unsaid, but I didn't press on it. They would not have told me anyway.

Lobo was the assassin. The government had been working with him and prepping him to kill from day one. Hugo developed alongside of him. Hugo was pure logic. Lobo was lethal. I don't think either one of them were aware that Lobo had a tender side I had witnessed. The other four were still a mystery. Neither Dumb-dumb, or Loco were aware that there were twelve until I had said so. I remembered Hugo had told me that on the phone. They informed me it would be better to keep quiet about it for Alejandro's safety. They explained that none of us were supposed to know of Lobo's existence, that it was all supposed to be top secret things. Alejandro Jones was just a cover. Lobo was the real deal. I was the only one of the three that had actually met him. I explained that he reminded me of one of the characters in his novels. Lobo. It means wolf. I believed they were the same. With a little more detail of my dreams of "the clean-up," followed by things that had been put on air, it was easy to assume that Lobo had killed my family, and then used his skills to cover up their murders. The knowledge did not make me afraid at all. It actually made me feel safer.

Eventually, I finished off the school year from my previous school. Both Dumb-dumb, and Loco, thought it would be okay for me to take a break and sign up for school in the coming January; but then the nightmares began to return, the memories. I would dream of the times when I was younger, when they would put that contraption on my head, those painful volts of electricity coursing through me. What would have happened to me, if I hadn't of caught on and pretended to pass out? What would have happened, if I hadn't of mindlessly played along and followed every order they gave me, no matter how stupid it sounded at the time? What would have happened if my parents had paid more attention, and saw to it that I consumed all those pills? I would wonder this, then I would dream of Alejandro, and I knew without a doubt, that this could have been me.

I had to go back to school. I needed more work to fill my mind. I didn't want to have to think of this anymore. The boarding school I ended up going to was an all-girls school run by nuns. I didn't mind. Maria used to pray with a crucifix. Every time school had us pray, I would think of her, of Alejandro, and wish that they were well, wherever they might be. I did not ask how the crucifix I was given resembled the one she used to wear, or that it looked like the one he was always wearing. I did not want to know. I never told anyone, but sometimes at night, I would kiss that cross, and I would imagine myself, kissing both Maria and Alejandro good night. Then I would hug Ferdinand, my bull very close, and wish for happier times, for all of us.

The sisters there were very kind and supportive. One of them watched me very closely. It made me uncomfortable at first. "You are such a troubled child." She would then ask me things, such as "What is on your mind?" But what could I tell her? Could I tell her that my earliest memories had my parents taking me to a place where I was electrocuted and thought I was going to die? That my mother would only slap my face whenever I would cry and beg her not to go? Could I tell her that Maria, the one kind person to me in the whole world in my young life was possibly killed by that so called mother? Or that both my parents wanted to make me their bitch and sex slave? And what's more, what if she was one of them? If there was anything that I learned as a small child, it was anyone could be part of that organization. My own kindergarten teacher was one of the scientists that would poke and prod at me with their test needles, but Dumb-dumb and Loco assured me she had nothing to do with their kind of watching. She reported to them about my well-being, and that was all. They also gave me the tip, "Don't think of what you can't tell her. Focus on what you can." So I was finally able to come up with something to pacify her. "My parents never loved me." That was what I told her. It was also very much the truth. She did turn out to be a very caring woman.

I didn't really make any friends at school. I preferred to find my escape in books and study, as I did before. Studying, as always, kept my mind occupied so that my heart did not have to feel. I'd managed to skip up another full year with that focus. This led to more petty jealousies in the classroom, but I didn't care. "Who does she think she is?" "She thinks she's so smart." "Why does she always look so stuck up?" At least this place didn't have any boys that were always trying to hit me up for sex. There were a couple that could have been gay, but I told them "I don't swing that way."

I was glad the previous life of mine was over. I was glad to leave all of my former peers behind. The student body I now integrated in was a tolerant bunch, if not always the most welcoming. They had their cliques too, but at least this time, I was an outsider by choice.

Thanks to Dumb-dumb, Loco, and even the headmistress, I was able to have moments that almost felt like a family. I even was able to send Alejandro a care package around Thanksgiving. I could remember making one with Maria. We bought these mason jars and filled one with a special blend for her hot cocoa, and the other was a chicken soup mix. All he would have to do is add heat and water. Dumb-dumb and Loco didn't know where he would be "stationed," or so they said, but they both knew which strings to pull to get the gift there.

The best surprise came for Christmas. Alejandro came to visit me, in the form of Lobo. I found him meditating lotus style on the floor, in my private bedroom. I was so excited, I went up and hugged him, not even bothering to ask how he got there or if anyone else knew. I wasn't going to say anything to anyone, anyway. I believed he knew it. He hugged me back. It was much more sincere this time; less awkward for him. He was happy to see me too. He paused for a moment, like he did before. When he embraced me, it felt so warm. I felt safe. I wanted to be held in that embrace forever. It did not last. He did pull back. I let him. It wasn't time to surrender yet, and I very much wanted to be slow and build my friendship with him. He told me was so moved by the gift he wanted to thank me in person. I admitted to him that Maria used to let me do this with her. She said, "My boy is a soldier."

Lobo looked so full of sorrow, tears staining his eyes.

"Is that what she said?"

"Are you?" I asked.

He bowed his head. "It is better not to know."

"It doesn't matter. You will always be the one who saved me."

"I am honored to, Jani."

We visited with one another for a little while. I didn't ask what kind of work he did, but I did ask what it was like inside his head. Lobo chuckled lightheartedly when I asked if it was something like the animated movie, "Inside Out."

"Not quite, more like waking up from a dream, with a vague recollection of why you are here."

Lobo also admitted that he was not exactly aware of the other personalities. He was only aware that as far as things were concerned that involved me, he came from a need of intense feelings to protect me. He assured me that I was safe with him, at least for now.

He asked me more of the things that they personally put me through, in my own "sessions." Apparently I had some acting skills of my own. Whatever they wanted me to do, I had a knack for delivering. I didn't have to do much but prance around, practice licking or sucking a lollipop, maybe unbutton a couple of buttons from my shirt. They never did get around to getting me to touch someone other than myself. If they asked for something I found terribly frightening, I would pretend to have a "malfunction" and fake a seizure. The doctors were so busy trying to figure out the cause of it, and scratching their heads that they couldn't find any symptoms for it, it never dawned on them that I might be faking, and instead they called it "unique side-effects" from the machine. I was reminded again from Lobo, that I was playing a very dangerous game, and warned that one day, there may very well be parts of Alejandro I have yet to meet that would demand that I play that role. I bowed my head. I knew that I wanted to be with him, but not like that...

"Don't worry, chica. You are safe tonight."

I looked into his eyes. "I believe you," I said.

We visited more on mundane things, like how I was doing in school and such. I felt safe in his presence. Secure. Precious. I gave him the Christmas present I had made for him. It wasn't much, just a hankie. I put my own embroidery on it for him, designed with things that Maria said used to be precious to him. Sunshine, his favorite animals, such as the wolf, a pig, and the bull, her favorite words, "Tu eres la dulzara en mi vida." He spoke no words, just let his long fingers dance gently and gracefully over my stitching.

He turned to me, his eyes full of a hunger I wasn't yet familiar with. "I wish to protect you the best that I can, but at any moment I cannot, I need you to use your wits. Just promise me you will do whatever you must to stay alive."

"I promise."

He gently touched my face and said, "Goodnight my darling. No matter what happens, I will always come back for you. Understand?"

"Yes."

His eyes lingered on my mouth. For just a moment, I wondered if he would kiss me. Instead, his thumb gently grazed my lower lip, and with that, he walked out of my door for many more months to come.

Author's note: Up until now, I have not mentioned the names of Loco and Dumb-dumb. I wanted to leave it up to the reader to pick their own celebrity to play the role; but personally, I just adore Jimmy Fallon and Kevin Hart. Selena Gomez looks pretty close to Jani. I also tend to picture Alejandro as Pedro Perestrello, a Brazilian model. https://www.pinterest.com/kaygiuseppe/pedro-perestrello