Tis a good week when you have two oneshots in a row beginning with "hey Pidge"

Revholting: hey Pidge?

Pidgey: wut

Revholting: I'm lonely

Pidgey: no

Revholting: you don't even know what I was gonna say!

Pidgey: Jesus Matt, I'm not setting you up with one of my friends. Look at how it went with Lance

Revholting: HE COULDN'T HANDLE THE FACT MY MEMES WERE BETTER

Pidgey: mmmhm

Revholting: whatever. I was thinking the other guy

Pidgey: there are multiple guys. And don't say Shiro, he's with Allura and I'm not homewrecking mama and papa

Revholting: we do have actual parents.
Anyway, I mean the other dude with black hair

Pidgey: Keith?

Pidgey: sure

You have been forwarded the contact Kogayne

Revholting: at least I know he likes dudes

As Pidge put their phone down, they grinned widely
"Oh man.. he has no idea what he's getting into."

--

Revholting: helphelphelphelp

BIns: wut

Revholting: I got queefs number

BIns: how??

Revholting: Pidge ;)

BIns: you're screwed

Revholting: by him? That's sorta the plan.

BIns: ..........

BIns: whatever. He's ugly anyway

Revholting: you sure bout that?

--

One week later, as Lance walked in on a rather steamy makeout, Lance realized he was incredibly mistaken.

Matt broke away from a shirtless Keith, smirking
"You're back early. Meet ugly."

Ok I suck
sorry for just doing a text one with barely any Keith, but I was lazy