{slight jily}{tbh this is just sirius being a clever little turd and james being exasperated}

"Will you go to Hogsmeade with me?" A rather attractive Asian girl twirled her hair around one finger and winked at James flirtatiously. James made a noise in the back of his throat but said nothing.

"Nah," Sirius cut in. "He's going stag!"

This was followed by the sounds of a short scuffle as James cuffed Sirius over the head and Sirius hopped on James' back.

•-•-•-•-•-•

"So, like, are you and James dating?" A girl with a thick Scottish brogue asked Sirius as she chewed noisily on her gum.

"Nah," Sirius shrugged and shot a wink at James, who was standing besides him. "We're not dating, but he's very deer to me."

This was followed by a week of pink hair for Sirius.

•-•-•-•-•-•

"Hey, hey, hey, hey, James, hey," Sirius chanted at three in the morning while all the other Marauders groaned.

"What is it, Padfoot?" James mumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow pressed against his face.

"You're a stag," he simply stated.

"Yes," James confirmed sleepily. "I am."

"So," Sirius grinned mischievously. "I guess you could say that you're a... maraudeer." He cackles gleefully at his pun while the other Marauders groaned.

•-•-•-•-•-•

Sirius yelped in outrage as James beat him, once again, in the strange muggle game of Operation. "You cheated, you fat motherbucker!"

"Motherbucker?" Remus asked, entertainment lacing his voice.

"Get it? Get it?" Sirius asked James while repeatedly making the buzzer go off in Operation. "A deer is sometimes called a buck, you're a deer, so motherbucker instead of motherf-"

He was cut off by a vase flying towards his head and missing by inches.

•-•-•-•-•-•

"Hey, Prongs," Sirius pestered his best friend. "Want to hear a joke?"

"Alright," James shrugged. "Sure."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes?" Sirius practically hit James in the face as he gestured with his hands uselessly.

"Padfoot," James sighed. "I'm really not in the mood for thi-"

"NO IDEER!" Sirius cut him off.

Remus looked up from his book. "Can you two keep it dow- wait, James, do not beat Sirius with that broomstick!"

•-•-•-•-•-•

"Why do you put up with this one?" Lily Evans asked Sirius as she motioned towards James.

"Well, Lily Flower," Sirius grinned wickedly. James put his hand over Sirius' mouth and glared at him.

"How about you don't?" James whispered. Sirius mumbled something that was incoherent thanks to James' hand. Sirius then licked the offending hand and the offender yelped, ripping his hand away from Sirius' face.

"I'm quite fawn'd of him, Lily Deer." Sirius then ran, the exasperated James right on his heels.

•-•-•-•-•-•

"It behooves me to say thi-" and that was as far as he got before James tackled him.

•-•-•-•-•-•

Okay, so, first things first: I'll probably be going on a brief hiatus because I am suffering an extreme writing. Any requests or critiques would be a huge help.
And anyway, this chapter was just dedicated to Sirius and all the deer jokes we all know he most definitely made.
TILL LATER
-Jamie