{lots of both wolfstar and jily}

"Sirius," Lily began, lazily running her fingers through his ebony hair. What? It was soft and felt like it was spun from the silk strings of God. "I have an idea."

"Great!" Sirius enthused. A few seconds of silence followed this, rather dramatic, proclamation. "What exactly is your idea?"

"A double date, of course." Lily sighed, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Me and James. You and Remus."

"That's actually a rather good idea," Sirius mumbled. "I'll convince Remus and you convince James?"

"Sounds like a plan to me."

•-•-•-•-•-•

"Remind me why I let myself get dragged into this again..." Remus mumbled, apprehension evident in his body language and facial expressions. "All that's going to happen is Padfoot and Prongs getting us kicked out of here for the umpteenth time."

"Oh, Moony," Sirius began in a condescending voice. "It's not the fact that we'll get arrested that matters. It's the fact that we'll have fun that matters."

"Sirius!" Lily chastised.

"Okay, fine," Sirius deflated. "No getting arrested."

And with that, they walked into the Three Broomsticks and selected an empty booth. Lily sat by James and Remus sat by Sirius, which was really the only way for them to situate themselves.

"What if," Sirius began, uncharacteristically quiet. "I got completely sloshed and streaked through Hogsmeade?"

"I would castrate you," Lily stated simply.

"Or something else," Remus cut over Lily. "That's his best feature." He told her.

"It is," James agreed.

"You're right," Lily acquiesced.

"Wait," Remus began. "How come all of us have seen your dick, Pads?"

"For starters," Sirius told Remus. "You're my boyfriend. Couples like to engage in this thing called 'intercourse' that requires sticking-"

"Okay, okay, okay," Remus tried to cover Sirius' face but accidentally punched Sirius in his haste. "Oh, bollocks! I'm sorry, Sirius."

"Anyway..." James slowly started. "I've seen his dick because we showered together once." Lily raised an eyebrow curiously. "It was just once and it was only to conserve water!"

"Mhm, okay." Lily nodded. "I've seen his dick because he wanted to know whether his or James' was better."

"And?" James prompted, now slightly more interested in the conversation.

"Sorry, babe," she shrugged and pecked him on the cheek. "You have the better significant other," that brought a small yelp of outrage from Remus. "But he has the better nether regions."

"Hah!" Sirius pounded the table with his fist, shaking it violently. "You heard the woman: I'm more shaggable than you, Prongsie."

"Not quite wh-"

"Don't deny it, Lily Flower," Sirius leaned over the table to cover Lily's lips with his finger. "You think I'm hot."

"Um, excuse me," a young lady with her hair tied into a low bun at the nape of her neck interrupted. "I've received some complaints from surrounding tables about you guys..."

"What exactly were the complaints?" Remus queried.

"That you were discussing somebody's dick?" She sounded unsure and the sentence came out as more of a question than a statement.

"Oh, yes," Remus cleared his throats several times. "We apologize."

"That'll suffice for now," the woman began. "But if I receive another complaint, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to leave."

"That seems fair," Lily smiled. The woman smiled back slightly and left. "Well, at least we're still in the bar..."

"Oh!" Sirius practically squealed. A very many squeal, of course. "This calls for a game!"

"What kind of game, Paddy?" James asked, suddenly excited albeit slightly nervous.

"WCGUKOOTBF, of course!" He explained enthusiastically.

"And that means... what?" Lily questioned, curiosity sealing into her voice.

Remus sighed. "It mean 'Who Can Get Us Kicked Out Of The Bar First' and it's a terrible game."

"It is not! It's an amazing game that builds relationships and breaks friendships." Sirius argued.

Lily shrugged. "I'm in."

James perked up extravagantly upon hearing his girlfriend was alright with the game. "I'm definitely in, as well."

"Urgh!" Remus growled. "I guess I'm in, too."

"Fantastic. The rules are simple: no bodily harm may be caused to one of the group." Sirius explained.

"And?" Lily prompted.

"Oh, that's it," Sirius shrugged nonchalantly. "The game begins... now!"

Remus rolled his eyes while James and Lily began whispering plans to each other. Sirius smirked slightly and grabbed the hem of his shirt. He pulled it over his head slowly, as if he was giving a strip tease to every person in the bar. He threw the shirt on Remus' head and basked in the catcalls and wolf whistles that mingled in the air as people caught sight of his bare chested glory.

Remus smirked at the sight of his very fit boyfriend's naked torso and let his eyes wander. "I can't say I disapprove of this new look, Pads."

"I thought you might appreciate it, Moony babe," Sirius threw a flirtatious wink at Remus. James groaned and tosses a napkin at Sirius' face.

"Can you keep your shirt on?" He groaned. "You're scarring poor little Lils."

"Hey," Lily smirked. "I don't mind."

James let out a strangled complaint then crossed his arms over his chest in a childish manner. "Fine."

"Hey, hey," Lily leaned her head on James' neck and placed a light kiss behind his ear. James' entire face was overtaken in a bloom of bright crimson blush. "Sirius may be fit, have the cock of a Greek god, have hair spun from the silk strings of god, and have all around amazing looks, but I love you more than I will ever love him."

"Love you too, Lily Flower," Sirius grumbled.

"I love you, Sirius, as I would love my brother. Not my sister, because she has the personality of a rusty nail." Lily explained, her voice laced with hints of adoration for the three boys that had become part of family these past couple of years. "And I love James romantically."

"I feel like this about to enter 'the talk' territory..." Sirius trailed off.

"You see, Paddy," James began with a mischievous smirk on his face. "When a mommy and a daddy love each other ve-" he was cut off by Sirius diving across the table and tackling him. The table tipped, spilling their butterbeers, and the entire booth left side of the booth tumbled backwards, almost flattening a few fifth years Ravenclaws.

"Merlin's soggy mullet!" The woman with the low bun that had reprimanded previously exclaimed after the loud crash. "I thought I told you tossers to behave!"

"Er," Remus began, slightly apologetically, but mainly amused. "Won't happen again. Promise."

"You're bloody right it won't happen again!" She exclaimed. "Because you four will be leaving. Right now."

Sirius hopped off of James and dusted his, still shirtless, chest and shoulders off. "I guess that means I win," he stated with a cocky smirk that made Remus want to snog his pants off.

"Win?!" The woman seemed to be ready to grab them by their ears and physically throw them out of the bar. "The only thing you've won is a oneway trip out of this bloody bar!"

"So... what exactly are you trying to say?" James asked.

"LEAVE!" The woman all but yelled and practically herded them out the door. "And don't come back when I work!"

"I wonder what's got her panties in a knot," Lily mumbled. "It's not like we caused that much damage."

"Yeah," Remus began, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "We just broke a table, spilled drinks everywhere, broke a couple booths, almost flattened a few kids, and were caught discussing your dick in a bar."

"See," Sirius waved his arms enthusiastically. "Not that much damage."

"Ugh," Remus said. "You're unbelievable!"

"But you love me anyways?" Sirius said hopefully, as though he feared that causing a little chaos would actually make Remus stop loving him.

"Of course I do, babe," Remus bent down and pressed a chaste kiss to Sirius' lips. "I will always love you."

"Why can't we be that cute, James?" Lily asked her boyfriend.

"Because apparently Pad's dick is better than mine," James grumbled.

"So is Remus'," Lily said, emphasizing it with a slight nod.

"Wait," James sputtered. "How the bloody hell do you know that?!"

"I walked in on Sirius giving Remus a blowjob," Lily explained simply, as if that explained everything.

"Ugh, that's disgusting, guys." James moaned.

"You're one to talk," Remus stated. "Do you know how many times we've walked in on Lily sucking you off?"

"Fair point," James said after a short beat of silence. "We're all terrible, sexually active, hormonal teenagers."

"Agreed!" Lily, Sirius, and Remus all nodded in agreement.

•-•-•-•-•-•

"So," Peter questioned as his four best friends walked into the Gryffindor common room. "How was the double date?"

"Oh, you know," Lily began casually.

"We discussed my dick size and got thrown out of the Three Broomsticks," Sirius finished.

"So, the usual," Peter said.

"Yep," Remus answered.

"Anyway," Peter drew the word out. "Chess, anyone?"

"I'm game." Remus and Sirius said in unison.

Lily and James shared a look before sitting on the couch behind their three best friends and watching the intense four hours of chess that followed.

They never did try a double date at the Three Broomsticks again...

•-•-•-•-•-•

OKAY, SO I'M BACK! Sorry for the {not so} brief hiatus. I'll try to be more consistent with my updates.
Oh, and this ONE IS FOR YOU {@awesomegotham310}
Okay, so, I can't respond to my messages but I can read them so continue to send me any and all requests or prompts!
Much love,
-Jamie