He hates this feeling.

When Nightmare pounded on him, fucked him senseless.

Only to toss him around like a broken toy after he was done.

He called Nightmare by his name, begging him to stay. Anything but leaving.

But after numerous attempts to no avail, he stopped.

From that, his day would be split in two. The first half always felt like eternity. The time slowly ticked by and the light outside the window brightened and dimmed. He spent his time waiting for Nightmare's arrival, longing for his embrace.

The second half of his day was when he looked forward for. He could play the scene in his head a thousand times. There was a crack from the door then Nightmare stepped in the room. Telling him to strip his clothes.

Tearing him apart.

It was difficult at first. Nightmare was by no means gentle and he learned it the hard way when he moved too slow on his command. He was still being fucked even his rib cage were turning into dust. But when he was familiar with it, it wasn't that bad. If anything, it helped him feel less empty.

But waiting for him to come was like a gamble. Sometimes he came, sometimes he didn't at all. When Nightmare didn't come, he didn't sleep. He stared at the silvery traces of the moon on the floor with his arms around his knees. Many meaningless thoughts ran wildly on his mind, such as the thought of being abandoned.

What if he got tired of me and looked for someone else?

I'm useless useless useless

Die

Easy. He just needed to summon a single bone and pierced it where his soul was. Then he would be free.

Free from this prison.

It hurt when the bone struck him. He felt his soul stopped vibrating with life and slowly broken in halves. His eyes become blurry as he was dragged into unconsciousness. He thought he heard a creaking sound from the door but he wasn't sure.

"Ccino?"

Someone was carrying his dying body on their arms. They did it so tenderly as if afraid he would scatter into million pieces of glasses. With little strength he still had, he leaned onto their touch.

He couldn't help it. It's been so long that he forgot a simple contact could bring so much comfort.

"Don't move too much."

The stranger warned him while trying to cover him with something soft and smelled familiar. His slow brain only just realized that it was his only blanket in the room. At some point he didn't bother to wear his clothes anymore as he scared it'd be ripped again.

Perhaps it was also his only remembrance of the distant past he left behind. He remembered running his fingers wistfully in the fabric while sobbing pathetically to himself.

"It's...no use....."

He spoke with what was left of his broken voice. His throat that was neglected for a long time chose this moment to let out a weak cough.

And another.

Another.

With every cough that followed, he tasted the metallic taste of his blood. His body became colder and soon, it would be nothing but a pile of dust.

A sudden thought occurred to him as the pain on his wound had subsided to something bearable. He regretted his choice. Even if his current life was hell, he was used to it. Why did he have to ruin it?

I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die. These five words kept repeated on his mind like a broken recording. A single tear rolled down his cheek. Its salty taste mixed with the blood on his mouth. An odd flavor.

He decided he didn't like it.

He looked up the stranger as the stranger stared down at him with brilliant purple eyes. They reminded him of the violets trembling in winter breeze. Undeniably beautiful.

He wanted to look at them forever.

But now even that wish was impossible.

He closed his eyes and let himself being plunged into the endless darkness.

——————————————————————

It was strange whenever he thought he had died.
But perhaps that was common sense because people normally didn't know what happened when they died. He was no exception.

Now he knew though.

There was no heavens or even hell. Only the darkness greeted him everywhere he went in his spirit state.

He kept wandering with no objectives whatsoever in his mind. No specific thoughts were there to guide him.

But one thing for certain, he just had to keep going. It was as if someone was calling him, urging him to find them.

The voice sounded familiar but for some reasons, he couldn't remember who. Every last bits of memories left him when he decided to go on his never-ending journey.

Sometimes he felt tired of walking, he switched to run until he couldn't catch up with his breathing.

Sometimes he wanted to give up.

It was such an easy thing to do. He just had to stay where he stood and stared into the void. Boring, but risk free.

There was also a strong feeling when he thought about living again. Whatever he had gone through, it must be terrible to the extent that he didn't want to come back.

Whenever he felt like this, he closed his eyes. An image of a color always popped in his head.

Purple.

It must be the eyes of the last person who watched him dying.

He wanted to know who they belong to.

He wanted to ask them why they were filled with immersed sadness.

——————————————————————

There was nothing to measure time here so he didn't know how much time had passed.

But it was definitely much time went by, because he was very close to the voice that never stopped calling him.

Now that he was closed to it, he could actually hear what it said. His mind struggled with its limited knowledge he still owned and finally, it gave him the letters.

It took awhile as he looked through them on his head and compared them to what he heard from the voice. Eventually, he got it. His mouth opened and repeated after the voice.

"Cc..i...no."

He wondered what did these letters mean?

"Ccino."

Something welled up on his chest when he spoke them again. It was an odd feeling. Were these letters important to him?

"Hey."

Suddenly there was another voice apart from the one that was calling him. This one was closer, much closer that he realized it came from next to him. What was this? There was nothing beside him moments earlier.

Except there was, as he turned around and saw a black robe that he confirmed the source of voice.

He stared at a bony face peeking out from the equally black hood that felt too pale to be a face. His eyes glanced over the other features and felt the immediate impulse to look away. The eyes were as dark as the darkness that surrounded him, and the grin stretched across the face too wide it was insincere.

"You are Ccino, aren't you?"

His already very slow mind registered the question. He fell into silence. As his mind ransacked his leftover fragments of memories, the name 'Ccino' didn't seem to be in it. It did sound familiar and his emotion reacted strongly to it, but did it really belong to him or someone else?

So the answer was definitely a no then, but why couldn't his mouth utter a single sound?

"Hm, this is wasting my time. Then let me give you a little piece of advice."

He controlled his confusion the best he could and looked expectantly at the abyss-filled eyes.

"Don't let your mind and heart decide for you. Follow what you think is right."

He waited for a moment for the words to sink in. After countless times of going over the cryptic message he received, he found his answer.

His palm was sweaty when he signaled to give out his answer.

"Are you Ccino?"

He thought he forgot how to breathe at the moment he heard the question again. He forced himself to breathe in and out as slowly as he could.

"Yes. I am."

He was hesitant when he opened his mouth, but as the last word came out so naturally like it was waiting for a long time, he knew he did it right.

"Such a shame that you answered it. But no matter."

A skeletal hand stretched out from the black sleeve where a large scythe suddenly appeared out of thin air.

His body stiffened instinctively.

As the scythe was swung at his frozen body that was expecting to feel pain, the unusual happened. A bright ball of light appeared on his chest where his missing soul once resided.

"Don't worry, you'll be fine."

As the light started to wound up its way from his legs, he belatedly realized he was being transferred to somewhere.

Strangely enough, he didn't feel he was in danger. It was the completely opposite. The warmth emitted from the light gave him the comfort he didn't know he needed.

After all, it had been a very, very long time.

There were so many questions that swirled on his head but he could only make his confusion show through his eyes.

The other seemed to acknowledge it and laughed by himself.

"See you later, kid."

He closed his eyes.