"YOU TOTALLY GOT LAID LAST NIGHT!" Peggy screamed as Lilly entered her dorm room. Lilly didn't really care what Peggy thought so she didn't respond to her moronic assumption. She simply walked over to her bed and collapsed on top of it. "Who? Who's the lucky guy? Or girl. I don't judge. Hell, I wouldn't mind hitting that?" Peggy giggled. Lilly ignored her annoying roommate and instead thought about Sam holding her hand. Her hand tingled, still feeling the resonance of Sam's hand on hers. She put her hand to her heart and smiled. She felt warm. "How did you guys do it? Was it hot?! I NEED TO KNOW!" Lilly closed her eyes and sighed. She wanted to see him again tonight. Right now, actually. She stood up with the biggest smile on her face that Peggy had ever seen on her. Peggy grinned seeing the joy on her friends face. "It was that boy with the eyepatch, wasn't it?"

Lilly nodded.

"Awe, that's so cute? Did you guys go on a date or something?"

Lilly thought about their night together. In a way, it had been a sort of date. Lilly's sort of date. Lilly nodded again.

"But did you guys go all the way? Was love made?!" Peggy squealed in excitement.

Lilly sort of just rolled her eyes and walked to the bathroom.

"Come on, Lilly! You've gotta give me more than that, I need the details!" Peggy followed her in.

Lilly looked back at her confused. She pointed at the toilet.

"I don't care if you pee, go ahead. I just need to know!"

Lilly was very confused. Peggy was going to watch her use the restroom... That was odd and Lilly didn't understand it. Was this a normal girl thing? She had never had a female friend before, so the thought of being comfortable enough to discrete human fluids in front of a friend just seemed creepy. Lilly decided to hold it for now.

"Did you guys kiss? Did you touch his penis? Is it big?!" Peggy had a wild look in her eyes. "It was, wasn't it! I knew it!"

Lilly was impressed with how fast Piggy's mind moved. It was one topic to the next. She didn't even have time to keep up. And it was so sexually driven. Was that normal? Lilly hadn't even considered doing anything sexual with Sam. In fact, they only held hands. Was that weird? Should they have done more? Was she going to lose Sam because of her lack of human understanding? She needed to pay attention to Peggy now. She needed to learn from her. She needed to be human so that Sam wouldn't leave. She needed Sam. What the hell was happening to Lilly? She had never thought like this before. Life was more simple just yesterday, and now here she was thinking about a boy and talking about sex in a bathroom with her sexy female roommate. College was so weird. She just wanted to kill people. Who thought it would be this difficult?

"Come on, Lilly... I know you don't talk but... maybe just this once you could talk to me about this? I'm just so excited, I haven't had a friend in a while and it's nice to just talk about shit, you know?" And now Peggy was opening up to Lilly. Lilly was about to have a panic attack. "I'm sorry, I know I can be a lot..." Peggy rubbed her arm and looked down. This made Lilly feel... worried? Caring? Lilly had no idea, but if she was going to try to be a bit more human for Sam's sake, maybe trying to feel emotions other than murder and violence, it wouldn't be so bad. Lilly would try to speak. Then Peggy gave her a chance. "So, um... What DID you and Sam do last night?

This was going to be difficult. Lilly hadn't heard her voice in nearly fifteen years. Using it wasn't something she even remembered how to do. She started with her mouth. She had to open her mouth.

Peggy looked up to see Lilly's mouth open slowly. Peggy's face turned gentle. "You can do it, sweety."

Lilly decided to start with a sound. She fearfully pushed air through her vocal cords until a little "Ah" popped out. The sound that escaped her throat sounded... pretty. Lilly felt a tear roll down her cheek. She put a hand to her mouth and laughed vocally.

"Oh my gosh... This is so pure." Then Peggy almost went and ruined it. "I'm so proud of you, Lilly... Oh my gosh." That kinda fixed it.

Lilly decided to try to form a word. She focused on Sam's face. She closed her eyes and focused on his green iris. The green filled with unspoken thoughts. Then she thought about his messy hair. She thought about running her hands through his scalp and feeling how soft that hair was. Like funning her hands through freshly mowed grass. She felt calm. Then she pushed with all her might. "W... We h-held h-... h-... h-hands." She smiled and opened her eyes.

"You make me want to, well this!" BANG. She watched her brothers head cover the ceiling and walls of the bathroom. There was so much blood everywhere. She looked down to see a huge whole inside her big brothers face. She watched as amber fluid dripped down his bottom jaw, then down his neck and onto the white tiled floor. His body slumped into the bathtub. Lilly shook violently and heard her breath move quickly throughout her body. She was hyperventilating. This was a panic attack. Where was Peggy. She needed to find her. Where Peggy was, was where this wasn't. She reached her hands out, but the room seemed to get bigger and bigger and bigger. She fell to the floor and curled into a ball. She felt hands wrap around her. One pet her head and the other rubbed gently down her back. Lilly began to violently sob. She was so scared. She hadn't felt this much fear since... Then everything went black.

---

When Lilly regained consciousness, she found herself carefully wrapped up in Peggy's arms being rocked back and forth. She looked across the room the see Sam with his knees to his chest by the door with his eyes locked on her. He didn't have any expression on his face, but he did seem intent on her safety. He was wearing those pajama pants again and a button-up, blue plaid shirt. He was really cute in plaid on plaid. Lilly didn't care what anyone said.

"She's awake." Sam, immediately on noticing her open eyes, crawled over to her and Peggy from the door.

"Oh my goodness... Lilly, sweety, hi. Are you ok?" Peggy looked down at Lilly with a tear-stained face. She truly seemed to give a shit about her. Lilly didn't know how to feel about that. "You do NOT have to answer that. I'm so sorry I even pushed for you to in the first place. I had no idea that it would cause that kind of a reaction."

"What exactly happened when she talked?" Sam looked up at Peggy.

Lilly curled her head into Peggy's arm, enjoying the momentary human connection.

"Well... um, we were talking about... um, girl stuff, and I asked her to speak cause I really wanted to hear her voice... I was being so selfish..." Peggy shook her head and let a tear fall down her face. "She did talk though and... Sam, she has the most beautiful voice you've ever heard."

Sam smiled. "I bet she does."

Peggy went on. "Well, she said one sentence and immediately froze up. She started breathing like crazy and collapsed to the floor. I tried to get her to snap out of it, but no matter how hard I tried, she just wouldn't. So I put her in my bed and ran to class to get you cause I thought you could help me get her back."

Sam nodded understandingly.

"Lilly, I don't know why you don't talk, but it must be awful if that's what happens when you do." Peggy ran her hand through Lilly's hair. "I'll never ask you to do that again. I promise."

Lilly smiled up at Peggy. She decided at that moment that she did like Peggy. She also decided that she would never try to talk again. Her brother made sure of that.

---

Church was a weird concept to Lilly. It felt like a lie. The only reason she was here in the first place was to try to be human for Sam. If this was something humans did, then she would do her best to learn. This was Peggy's church. She was a Presbyterian, which Lilly thought was an unnecessarily long name for a Christian religion. And it seemed quite FSS if she had to be honest. How could God exist is someone like Lilly existed. She thought back to the many people she had cared for in her life. People like Jack, good people. He was dead because of her. Peggy would probably be in the same boat eventually. Lilly couldn't remember exactly how many ways she had considered killing Peggy in the first place. And honestly, even though Lilly considered Peggy her best friend, she'd probably be dead by her hands in the next few years. It seemed only a matter of time before she became annoying. For some reason those thoughts made Lilly feel bad. That was weird.

Either way, she was at church with her momentary companion. She didn't pay any attention, but faked some sort of interest for Peggy's sake. If it made Peggy happy, who was Lilly to judge? Considering what Lilly's past times were, judgments weren't an option.

The priest went on and on about honesty and the truth of love, but Lilly was more focused on the man on the cross. It made her very uncomfortable to look at him. She didn't feel like she deserved to be in the proximity of what everyone referred to as the Son of God. And Lilly didn't care if he existed or not. The idea of being good and sacrificing for others just didn't fit into Lilly's world, and seeing something that seemed to make it so easy almost made Lilly feel angry.

Lilly tapped on Peggy's arm and motioned to be let through.

"You need to use the restroom?" Peggy asked in a whisper.

Lilly nodded and stood up. Peggy let her through and Lilly went on her way. She wasn't going to the bathroom though, she just needed to be away from the man on the cross.

"Excuse, young lady. Do you mind if I use you as an example." Lilly looked back towards the voice calling in her direction to see the priest giving the sermon asking for her help. Lilly wasn't sure what to do so she desperately looked over to Peggy for help, but Peggy just looked back at her with an excited smile. THIS iS NO TIME TO BE EXCITED, PEGGY! Lilly screamed in her head, but seeing as she had no other choice, she silently walked up to the stage. The priest held out his hand to her and Lilly reluctantly took it. "Now, brothers and sisters. I would like to make one thing clear. This was not a planned thing. She just happened to stand up at the moment I needed her to. That's God if I've ever seen it." The Priest chuckled. "Or maybe this young lady just needed to pee." It was the second one kinda. The audience laughed with more amusement then the joke had deserved. "Now what is your name, young lady?" Lilly started to panic, but then she felt Peggy's hand in hers.

"She doesn't talk, father," Peggy responded for her. "Her name is Lilly."

"Ah, like the flower, how pretty." The Priest smiled.

"Almost Father, it's spelled with two Ls in the middle instead of one." Peggy held no punches. Lilly could never tell her any secrets because they wouldn't be secrets anymore by the end of the day.

"Different. I like it. Now, Lilly. I'm going to ask you some yes or no questions. Do you mind nodding yes or no to them for me?"

Lilly didn't want to, but if this was normal human behavior, she didn't have a choice. At this moment, she just wanted to go watch another red room. But normal people didn't, that was the problem. Lilly shook her head no. She "didn't" mind.

"Alright, Lilly. Have you ever lied before?"

What would a human say? From what Lilly saw on television, humans lied constantly. Plastic surgery, rumors, talking behind each others back. Seemed like that was normal, so Lilly nodded "yes."

"Do you feel bad for the lies you tell?"

Well, no not really. But would a human feel bad? Seeing what the man on the cross had done, Lilly assumed he wouldn't feel cool about not having remorse for something so Lill shook her head.

"Now is that because you fear being caught up in a lie?"

Honestly, if anyone knew what was behind Lilly's lies, there'd be more than just making God upset. She'd be executed for her crimes. Murder was not something the man on the cross thought was ok. On the other hand, humans may lie a lot, but do they feel bad because they might be caught or is there some other reason. Lilly had to be careful of this question because answering wrong could make her not look so good. So she thought of Sam. Did she feel bad about not telling Sam that she came to his dorm room to kill him? She felt really bad about that. But not because she feared getting caught, but more because she felt bad for wanting to kill him in the first place. So with all that laid out on the table, she decided to shake her head no.

"So you feel bad for lying because it hurts the other person?"

She nodded.

"That's exactly right."

Yessssss.

"All of us need to learn that we shouldn't feel bad about our lies and mistakes because of the harm that that could do to us, but because of the harm that it could do to others. That's God's way. You car for your neighbor. You love thy neighbor. Thy neighbor is what you live for in the first place. Thank you so much for your help, Lilly. You can go pee now." The Priest chuckled and sent Lilly on her way.

As Lilly left the stage and went to the Lobby, she realized that she had never really considered that part of things. When she killed somebody, that affected them as well as herself. Did that make killing bad? Well, duh. But why? If they were dead then they wouldn't care about it for long anyway. Religion was weird. Lilly was starting to have a midlife crisis as she entered the Lobby until she heard her phone jingle. She pulled it out of her pocket and saw a message from Sam. She smiled and all of her thoughts on her moral crisis seemed to disappear. The message said. "I'm out front to rescue you from the cult." She blushed and ran out the front door.

This time, Sam was wearing a white button-up shirt with a clip-on tie and black dress pants. He was really cute. He had even brushed his hair a little. Or at least tried.

Sam smirked when he saw her. "Come on, let's go do something fun instead." He reached his hand out to her and she joyfully took it. Maybe she was already human enough for Sam.

Or maybe she wasn't being honest about who she truly was. That made her feel really bad. Stupid church.

The two of them went for a walk.

"I passed Mr. Debacles test, by the way. It was kind of interesting." Sam started. "The prompt was that old 'two people, one-bed trope.' We were supposed to write something romantic and original. I just wrote about Friday. Minus the... Circus stuff of course." He looked away. "Can I be honest about something..?"

Lilly looked up at him, worried.

"I want to watch another Circus of Horrors live stream..." He met her eyes, scared of her response. "Is that scary? Does that make me bad?"

The man on the cross wouldn't like it, but Lilly thought it was wonderful. She laid her head on his arm and breathed in his sweet cologne.

"I guess that means it's not bad... or maybe me and you are just really screwed up." He laid his head on hers. "How bout tonight?"

She nodded.

The rest of the walk was in silence. Being in the presence of each other was enough for both of them.