XXXIII. DRUNKEN TRUTH

Gyeoul's fingers brushed through the aging spines of the books neatly lined up on the shelves, stopping on one familiar book that she reviewed back in high school. Pulling it out, she sat down on an empty seat across from Mr. Seo.

She smiled, "How are you liking Seoul so far, Mr. Seo?"

"Well, my children have been visiting me so often these days that I rarely get lonely," Mr. Seo chuckled, sipping his tea. "And the people here are wonderful. You won't see me getting bored anytime with these fools around me."

"I'm glad you're liking it here."

"Now that we got those formalities out of the way, mind telling me why you feel so heavy?"

She chuckled, opening the book she picked from the bookshelf. It was a week after what happened with Taehyung and she decided to visit Mr. Seo before she went to run her errands that morning.

The whole week felt like a blur. She could only thank their busy schedules for making it harder to run into each other outside of the dance studio. When they did see each other, it felt like nothing happened between them. They were back to normal. They would still take time to greet each other in the hallways and hang out after work hours to spend time with each other. She worked hard to keep their friendship the same.

But it's not the same as it was.

An invisible boundary started to grow between them and their moments alone felt like they lost their magic.

"I hope you're not commenting on my weight. I work out a lot to maintain my physique," Gyeoul responded with a pout, deliberately avoiding the question as she tried to read the text of Dante's Inferno.

Mr. Seo hummed, eyeing the dancer weirdly, "There's a certain aura I see in people when they're hiding something that hurts them, call it intuition." Gyeoul nodded politely and turned the pages of the book. "It's either you can understand Italian or you're avoiding my question."

She smiled, closing the book, "I thought it'd be nice to read it in its original beauty. There are some things that English translations miss sometimes." Gyeoul leaned over and picked her mug up from the coaster on the coffee table. "And I'm not hiding pain."

He nodded, "Is Taehyung visiting sometime in the future? It's been a while since I've seen him." The old man didn't fail to notice that sheer glaze of blue that flashed in her eyes. If he blinked, he would have missed it. "Did you two fight?"

"Where did you deduce that from?" Gyeoul laughed, shaking her head.

"I remember how you two always used to fight over the smallest things. How long was the longest time you stopped talking to each other again? Was it a week?"

"It was a week and a half. We were around eleven at the time, I think. We fought over the Halloween costumes we wanted to wear when our batch would visit our school's high school department for trick or treat. He wanted to dress up as Anpanman and I would be Baikinman. I wanted to dress up as Cruella de Vil and he'd be a dalmatian. Our parents got mad and just made the costumes they wanted whether we liked it or not. I think we ended up dressing up as Baloo and Mowgli from The Jungle Book. He hated that movie because I kept playing Bare Necessities on my ukelele."

Mr. Seo nodded, "If I was Taehyung, I'd get mad if my best friend wanted me to be a dog too." She laughed slightly, tracing the imperfections on the cover of the book she was holding. "So, how is your heart?"

How is your heart?

Never before has she been asked such a question. In a literal sense, it was just fine.

She looked down at the book she was holding, smiling sadly. "There's a quote here in Dante's Inferno that stood out to me when I reviewed it in high school. Amor ch'a null amato amar perdona. Love which exempts no one who's loved from loving." Mr. Seo's lips parted, understanding where her narrative was going. "Maybe that phrase stuck to me so much that until now that I took too much of a risk to dream that he would have had feelings for me too."

The old man's eyes softened. His mouth opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. She sipped her coffee to distract herself. Putting it down on the table, she looked out of the window, picking at her nails.

"How is my heart? My heart is still grieving. There are times where I wish I could be selfish and just risk it all again just for another chance to be the one..." she trailed off, gritting her teeth and looking down at the floor.

"But you can't force love," Mr. Seo finished.

She bit the inside of her lips, trying her best to give the elderly man an assuring smile. "I prepared myself for the worst-case scenario ages ago. I knew that there was a large chance that my feelings won't be returned. My friendship with him is more important."

"You're allowed to be sad, Gyeoul. Cut yourself off if it hurts too much."

Gyeoul knew that well. She pursed her lips, looking at the wide selection of books behind Mr. Seo to avoid his gentle eyes. "You know, I always thought that the two most important things in my life are friends and family. To me, Taehyung covers both. If friends don't work out, then at least I know he'll still be family to me." She paused, smiling slightly to herself as she recalled her Christmas with him and his family. "By some degree, I do think that we're made for each other. Perhaps not as lovers, even though I wish otherwise."

The universe conspired to let them meet again, that goes without saying. There was a little nook in the galaxy crafted especially for their souls to hide in. In that nook, there was an endless amount of crystalline snowflakes that depicted the profoundly enchanting complexities she found in his smile. Lacing those snowflakes were the stardust of those sparks that would glitter whenever they got close to each other. She will stay in that little nook. She will stay for him.

"My kindred spirit," she breathed out, finally finding the proper term to describe their relationship. She laughed slightly, "My kindred spirit. That's who he is to me."

"And you're willing to put yourself through the pain of unrequited love for your kindred spirit?" Mr. Seo sighed, shaking his head.

"I'm not a child anymore, Mr. Seo. I can handle unrequited love."

❆

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Taehyung sighed for the nth time that day.

"No, seriously. What the absolute fuck is wrong with you?"

Jin smacked Jungkook upside in the head, "If I hear one more curse word fly out of your mouth, I'm going to fucking castrate you."

Taking their youngest member out of the wrathful singer's way, Jimin spoke up, "Okay, can the both of you chill the fuck out? You're not helping."

"No, no, no, Jungkook's got a point," Yoongi argued. He was participating in the small meeting through a laptop perched on the table beside Namjoon's recording equipment via FaceTime.

The rest of the members had only found out that day. Rehearsals, recordings, and meetings weren't going as smoothly ever since that haunting night. They were clearly going nowhere when the dynamic of the group shifted into something dark and somewhat solemn, so Namjoon suggested that they addressed the problem for a moment in his studio. They didn't specify that the problem involved Taehyung, but the idol sensed it and explained everything right then and there.

To say that most of the members were enraged was an understatement.

"Why the hell would you reject her after months of pining?" Hoseok demanded with his voice calm yet stern, standing with his hands on his hips. He poked his tongue on the inside of his cheek as he shook his head, "I thought you were waiting for the right time? The right time was served to you on a silver platter and you pushed it away. For what reason—"

"Because I love her, alright?"

Frustrated groans erupted from the others.

"If you love her then why would you reject her?" Namjoon sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "This isn't making sense."

"This is making my head hurt," Jungkook added with a groan.

The others nodded in agreement.

Taehyung clicked his tongue, looking away from his members and blinking repeatedly to keep his tired tears at bay. Seeing him like that made the others soften up. "Being in a relationship with me would mean that I can't give her that much time. There are so many restrictions and I don't want to put her through that. She deserves more than that. Gyeoul is one of the people I treasure the most. She's one of my best friends. If by chance that a relationship between us might not work out..." he trailed off, his voice cracking. He sighed, "I can't risk it."

Jin sighed, sitting down on the couch and leaning his elbows on his knees. "Taehyung, I'm getting married in eleven months. I've been together with this amazing woman for six years." The younger member looked down as he spoke. "If you two are willing to, then you can make it."

"I know that and I'm incredibly happy for you, but this is different."

"How is it different?"

"Gyeoul is famous too, she's more exposed to the media. Not that I'm not grateful to those who listen to us, I'd give all of them the love I have in my soul if I could. I love our fans, but you know how a lot of them get when we get into dating scandals. Given our status, our group can easily bounce back from a scandal, but her? Her reputation would be ruined, and I don't want that for her. She worked so hard to get where she is now, I don't want that to go to waste because she's connected to me."

They went silent at that, unable to deny the validity of the points he made.

"Is this about what Kieran told you?" Yoongi asked, his eyebrows furrowed and his arms crossed. All of them jumped at the sound of Yoongi's voice, forgetting his presence on the laptop. The rapper paid no mind to it and continued, "Is that what tipped it off the edge?"

Taehyung's silence gave him his answer. The other members didn't have to ask what it was about Kieran Park. Everyone knew what happened when word got out that he was dating an actress. The incident sparked fear in all those in the entertainment industry.

"If other people can be free, why can't we?" Jimin spoke, a frown on his face. "There's so much expectation to live up to that some people start to think that we're simply machines made to entertain them. We're expected to show this perfect persona that we can't even make little mistakes without it making the front page. It's not like we're not allowed to have female friends or date, but the media makes it feel like we can't."

"I hate this," Jungkook sighed. Everybody gave him sympathetic looks, knowing that their youngest member has been one of the favorite victims of the media to pin dating rumors on. "Why are they called scandals anyway? What sets us apart from other people that we're not allowed to be in a relationship? Being an idol is so demanding sometimes that we have to apologize for things we shouldn't apologize for. It's ridiculous. Shouldn't we be happy too?"

Great, now I just made them question everything, Taehyung thought with a frown. "I'm sorry for bringing the mood down in rehearsals and recordings. I'll focus on our job from now on."

Namjoon sighed, "There's nothing to be sorry about, it's not your fault. It's not our fault." He stood up, his serious 'leader face' evident on his features. "Not to be vain or something, but we're BTS. We break records and standards and everything in between."

The eldest member nodded in agreement. "We're international pop-k sensation sunshine rainbow traditional transfer USB hub shrimp BTS," Seokjin added, trying to lighten up the mood rather than add to the train of disappointment. "We're a group known for breaking records and changing the game. That's why people love us."

"Usually people would be a little more humble, but you really are one of a kind," Hoseok laughed slightly, shaking his head.

"But he's right," Namjoon asserted, nodding at Seokjin. The other simply nodded at him and winked. "We have the platform, we just need the action. How can we normalize things if we don't do anything? Let them hate us, all of our real supporters will still love us."

Taehyung sighed, "But what about Gyeoul?"

Yoongi gave him a look. "That's something you need to talk about with her. You decided that your relationship wouldn't work out with her without trying to work it out. If it doesn't, then it doesn't. If I know anything about you two, it's that your friendship transcends above all else, it doesn't matter if you're friends or more."

Standing up from his seat, Hoseok walked up to Taehyung and took the younger member's phone. He handed it to him, "Tomorrow's Valentine's day. If you're waiting for the next right time to ask her out, this might be it." Taehyung sighed, raising his hand to take his phone from him, but Hoseok suddenly pulled it back at the last second, "Put the both of your happiness first. Ask her out. That's the greatest gift you can give me for my birthday."

Seokjin perked up, "I put my happiness first for the last six years. Does that mean that's also the greatest gift I can give you?"

Hoseok didn't answer him and nodded in the direction of the door, "We're going to leave you alone now. Whatever it is you do with that phone when we leave is entirely up to you. Just follow what your heart tells you to."

Without another word, the members dispersed. Jimin patted his soulmate's head, giving him a reassuring smile before walking away with the others.

Once they made it outside, Taehyung slumped in his seat, opening his messages with Gyeoul and trying to compose.

TAEHYUNG
hey|
he|
hello|
hel|
are you doing something tonight?|

"You look like you're taking too long to say hello."

Taehyung jumped in surprise for the second time that day, almost dropping his phone. He picked his head up and saw Yoongi's face still displayed on the laptop screen.

"You scared me," Taehyung breathed, holding a hand to his heart. He looked down at his phone to continue formulating a proper greeting. But then his eyes saw that the message was already sent.

And she already saw the message.

He tossed his phone beside him on the couch and stared at the wall in front of him with his eyes wide.

"Why are you nervous?" Yoongi chuckled, "You know that's Gyeoul right? Your oh-so dear friend?"

Taehyung pursed his lips, heeding his older member's words and checking if she already messaged back.

GYEOUL
im drinking tonight with the other performance directors

GYEOUL
why?

TAEHYUNG
the others wanted to ask if you wanted to play games

TAEHYUNG
but ill tell them that youre busy

TAEHYUNG
anyway

TAEHYUNG
feel free to call me when you need a driver

GYEOUL
dont worry if the others find an ounce of love for their maknae then ill ask them to drive me home

GYEOUL
or ill just ride a cab

GYEOUL
but if i have no other choice then ill call you for sure

TAEHYUNG
alright i hope you get drunk to your hearts content

GYEOUL
that goes without saying HAHHAHHAHAH

"What did she say?"

Taehyung didn't realize the idiotic smile on his face until he heard his older member's voice, snapping him back to reality. "She's busy tonight."

"Tomorrow then."

❆

I am the youngest, I am the youngest, Gyeoul chanted in her brain.

The pizza deliveries kept coming in and Gyeoul was staring judgementally at her seniors as they pigged out with the liquor that she also paid for. She sat at the corner of the center table where they were having their celebration. Everybody wanted to do it in the dining room but was tempted the moment the first batch of alcohol and food was placed on the center table.

"Thank you again, Gyeoul!" Caleb cheered, pouring more alcohol into her cup. "Do you need something to help it go down?"

"Are you an idiot? Have you seen how many she's had without one?" Hyeonsu questioned, smacking Caleb upside on the head and probably accidentally wiping the pizza grease on his hair. Gyeoul scrunched her nose at them and bit into her pizza. Hyeonsu turned back to his youngest junior, batting his eyelashes at her, "Thank you, Gyeoullie. If you need anything, don't be afraid to ask me, okay?"

Gyeoul downed her drink with her eyes narrowed at him, "Seeing you guys happy is enough to make me happy."

"And done!" Mina suddenly announced, handing Gyeoul's phone back after changing her bio to all of her main social media accounts because the younger dancer couldn't be bothered doing it herself. "Now Instagram and Twitter know that user gia.ahn is now a BigHit performance director. Congratulations!"

From the couch, Songhwa laughed at the dry expression on Gyeoul's face. The make-up artist, after many months of being together with Hyeonsu, now lived with him. And she was the only fully sober person in the room and was laughing her ass off at every funny moment she saw. Gyeoul only pouted at her and went back to drinking.

"I'd like to make an announcement!" Sungdeuk declared as he moved to stand up, accidentally banging his knee on the corner of the small table and splashing his drink on Gyeoul's face. "Oh, sorry, Gyeoul-ah, my bad." He proceeded to stand up and almost fall over if not for Songhwa helping him stand.

Gyeoul pursed her lips, praying for more patience to dawn on her. I am the youngest. I am the youngest. I am the youngest. Then Jaehui accidentally knocked over a whole bottle as he was trying to snatch the last piece of pizza on the box in front of her before Caleb did, spilling the contents on Gyeoul's pants. She pursed her lips, taking three bottles of unopened soju and sitting in the corner of the room where no harm would come to her.

"Our maknae doesn't have any food there!" Hyeonsu gasped. He took two slices of pizza and chucked it her way, hitting her face. "Oh my god, did you see that? I played baseball in high school you know."

The youngest stood up and went to charge at her senior, causing Sungdeuk and Songhwa to hold her back. Sungdeuk widened his eyes at the others in alarm.

"Mind helping out a little? This kid is as tall as I am!"

After five minutes, Gyeoul and Hyeonsu were placed on opposite sides of the room while the others enjoyed themselves at the center table.

"So, as I was saying," Sungdeuk continued, raising his glass. "Yeonghee and I are having a second child!" Everybody in the room erupted in cheers. Gyeoul skipped over to Sungdeuk and trapped him in an excited hug.

"How far along is she?" Mina asked.

He hummed, "Almost a month now."

A month. The words slowly registered in her brain. When it did, Gyeoul quickly detached herself from Sungdeuk, shuddering and almost gagging. "Goodness gracious, you sent your child away to have sex!"

Jaehui choked on her drink. "Say what now?"

An hour later, no one in that room could sing the English alphabet without stopping to think of what comes after 'p.' Gyeoul, who was judging everyone for being weak drinkers earlier, was now the loudest one. As of now, the people gaped at their youngest as she sang she managed to follow the lyrics of You Are The Music In Me from High School Musical 2 flawlessly, doing the whole duet by herself and not leaving a single line unsung. The singing itself, however, made them wish Hyeonsu had earplugs in his apartment.

"I thought she was supposed to be a good singer?" Mina whispered tiredly to the others over Songhwa's lap. "Wasn't she, like, in a band or something in college?"

Songhwa pushed Mina off of her lap and moved her to lean on the couch, but Mina misdirected herself and accidentally banged her head on the center table. The others, including Mina, burst into drunken laughter. Gyeoul turned around in concern as she heard the bang and accidentally stumbled over her legs, landing on the same woman she intended to check on.

Mina cackled like a mad witch while Gyeoul groaned as she hit her shin on the leg of the table.

"Babe, mind giving them a glass of water?" Songhwa requested, smiling sweetly at her boyfriend.

Hyeonsu nodded, helping Mina and Gyeoul up. The two women challenged him by letting them pull them all at once, and Hyeonsu being Hyeonsu, didn't back down and held two of his arms out. With one swift motion, the two were on their feet. The shift in weight then caused Hyeonsu to almost fall backward if not for Gyeoul who was quick to grip his arm tighter.

Letting them go, he nodded reluctantly at Gyeoul in thanks and led them in the direction of the kitchen. Along the way, Hyeonsu tripped over air, almost face-planting to the ground.

"You tripped me!" Hyeonsu accused, glaring at her.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

Gyeoul huffed at him, raising her foot to push the back of his knee and running away immediately after. He wasted no time in running after her.

After three hours, their energy died down and they got along again. Sungdeuk and Jaehui already went home as it was already nearing 2 AM and they had to go home at a specific time. Their drinking never ceased as they talked about everything — well, more like they had to listen to Gyeoul talk animatedly on and on about her dear friend and their adventures ever since they found out that they were childhood friends.

"When we visited Daegu, we went to our old school. The school wasn't open, but we managed to break in—"

Caleb groaned, "We know, you've been telling us about it for twenty minutes now."

"Hasn't it been an hour?" Mina questioned, massaging her temples as she squinted at the wall clock.

Gyeoul's lips parted, "I'm sorry I didn't realize."

"If you like him so much that you can't shut up about then why don't you just tell him? It'd save us the torture," Hyeonsu suggested, rolling his eyes and sipping his drink. Gyeoul sighed, following his actions and tipping her head back as she finished her drink. Mina was more than willing to fill the younger woman's cup again as a thank you for her treat. "You drank that a little too fast. How does it taste?"

She kissed her teeth, "A little bitter."

Hyeonsu sat next to her on the couch, wrapping his arms around her shoulders and cradling her head, "Our darling baby penguin is heartbroken." The alcohol in Gyeoul's system struck and she started to blubber as Hyeonsu continued to baby-talk to her. "You tell us if you have any problems. If there's anything you've yet to know about our department, it's that we're all family here. We're all here for each other in times of trouble."

"But you threw pizza at my face and almost chased me out of the apartment," Gyeoul sniffled, pulling away from him to look at him confusedly. "And didn't you also lock me out of our lounge—"

He shushed her, pulling her back to lean on his shoulder, "That's all in the past. Come on, tell your family everything."

Songhwa watched them amusedly, "Gyeoul's entering her final stage. She's ready to go home." Turning to the others, she asked, "Do any of you have the number of one of her family members? She's teaching a class tomorrow and we can't really accommodate her here."

"I have Taehyung's number. I think he counts as family?" Mina said, unlocking her phone and passing it to the make-up artist.

As Songhwa walked out of the living room and went to the bedroom where it was quieter, Gyeoul started recounting her narrative of what happened the other week with ugly tears rolling down her cheeks to the point that Hyeonsu pushed her away from his shoulder in disgust. Gyeoul didn't mind and kept going as the other performance directors listened intently even though the likelihood of them remembering would be close to zero percent.

As it turns out, Gyeoul could barely handle unrequited love.

"Let's make him suffer! No one hurts our maknae and gets away with it!" Caleb cheered, standing up to his feet and punching his fist in the air.

Gyeoul wailed and pulled the back of his shirt so he could sit back down. "He never hurt me, so there's nothing to punish. It was my fault, he's not obligated to feel anything for me in return." The tears streaming down her face showed otherwise.

"Oh, you little penguin," Hyeonsu cooed, grabbing the neckline of her shirt and using it to wipe her snot.

"Fucking bitch."

"It's part of the family package, kid."

Mina patted her knee, smiling assuringly at her, "It's okay to regret it now. You'll move on eventually."

Standing up abruptly, Gyeoul felt a fighting spark flow through her. "Why would I regret it? Love isn't something I should regret. When has love ever been the wrong thing to do? Love is never the wrong thing to do—"

"Here, I'll pour you another drink," Hyeonsu proposed, tugging the back of Gyeoul's shirt to make her sit down. "You look like you need it more than anyone."

About half an hour later, Taehyung made it in front of Hyeonsu and Songhwa's unit. Truth be told, he's been waiting for any notification to pop up on both his personal and work phones ever since he finished dinner for any news about Gyeoul and whether or not she needed a ride home. When he received a call from one of the other performance directors, he wasn't surprised that the one on the other line was Songhwa as she was the closest to Gyeoul there.

He didn't want to seem like an obsessive boyfriend— friend, but he couldn't help his worry. Even though the chances were slim, Gyeoul could still call for him.

And the last thing he wanted to do was disappoint her again.

Taehyung rapped his knuckles on the door, hoping that it was the right apartment door he stopped in front of. He wasn't too keen on the idea of a stranger possibly recognizing him and questioning his purpose there. Though, he was sure that it was the right one because of the faint music coming from the inside.

The owner of the apartment opened the door, taken aback by the idol's presence, "Taehyung-ssi? What are you doing here?" Hyeonsu quickly ushered him inside, slapping his already pink cheeks to sober himself up.

"What did you do, fly here?"

As he was taking his shoes off to enter the unit, his eyes flickered to the feminine voice behind Hyeonsu and saw the woman that called him over, Songhwa. And behind her was the reason he was there in the first place, her head drooping little by little to the side and a cup half-full with alcohol threatening to slip off from her loose grip. Her cheeks had a certain flush to them and her nose scrunched ever so slightly.

A fond smile crept on his face at the mere sight of her.

"Ah, I see," Songhwa hummed, sharing a knowing look with Hyeonsu. She nodded in Gyeoul's direction, "What are you waiting for, lover boy? Go get your girl."

Heat immediately traveled to his cheeks and he accidentally stumbled on the ledge of the entrance as he walked. He absentmindedly apologized for the shoes he must have kicked out of place, his eyes glued on the dancer.

"GoGo," he whispered, gently calling her attention as he took her cup and placed it on the coffee table. He crouched down in front of her and delicately brushed her hair out of her face. His heart hurt at the sight of tear stains along her cheeks. He passed a knuckle on her cheek, cooling the heated and sensitive skin with the cold of his fingers.

"Kim Tae?"

"I'm here."

Gyeoul's head dropped down to his shoulder, on the verge of falling asleep. Taehyung brought his hand up to support her head, caressing it ever so slightly. The woman hummed at the feeling and nuzzled into his neck, making a tornado of butterflies erupt in his stomach at the feeling of the skin of her nose tickling the side of his neck. He frowned slightly and rubbed her shoulder with his thumb to keep her awake.

"Do you want to go home? Should I take you home?"

She whined and pulled away from Taehyung, reaching for the cup he placed on the coffee table. The man caught her wrist and directed it away from the cup, taking her other hand and standing up. He gently rubbed her knuckles before pulling her up and slinging an arm over his neck. Gyeoul didn't seem to lack mobility as much and seemed to be able to do an adequate pirouette if she wanted to, but he still wanted to make sure that she didn't fall on her face as he guided her over to the door.

"Sit down for a moment while I put your shoes on," he directed, grabbing her arms and lightly pushing her to sit down. He quickly put on his shoes before moving on to hers.

"I can do it myself," Gyeoul pouted and snatched the right shoe from his grasp, and proceeded to put it on her left.

Taehyung pursed his lips to keep himself smiling, finding her drunken grouchiness adorable. "Is it more comfortable that way?"

Gyeoul wiggled her toes, only then finding out that she put it on the wrong foot. She heard Taehyung laugh and shot him a glare which did nothing but made him laugh more.

"Aish, this girl can't even distinguish left from right," he teased, undoing her result and putting it on the correct foot, and doing the same with the other shoe. He squeezed her ankles affectionately before looking up, only to find an unreadable look on her face. "Are you okay?"

The dancer sighed, looking away from him as she nodded. Taehyung's eyebrows knitted, trying to make sense of the hidden signification in her eyes. Either the alcohol made her aloof and unsmiling as it usually did with Hoseok or there was something else entirely that was bothering her. It was probably because of him, he twisted her heart and left her. He pursed his lips, deciding not to dwell on it much to focus on his objective, and stood up, guiding her along with him.

"Here's her bag," Songhwa said, handing the idol the backpack.

Taehyung accepted the bag and slung it over his shoulder, bowing politely at his friend's companions. "Thanks for looking after her."

Songhwa smiled slightly, "Take care of her, Taehyung-ssi. Drive safe."

He nodded and opened the door, leading Gyeoul out with him. He wrapped an arm around her and held her by her upper arms, making sure she didn't stumble while she walked.

All of a sudden, Taehyung could feel her stop moving because of the weight that tugged him back. He looked back at her in confusion.

"Dance with me."

What an odd request. "You're drunk," he laughed, pinching her cheeks. "We can dance tomorrow when you still want to—"

"No."

Taehyung was taken aback by her blunt statement. Not that her tone was rude or anything. The way she said it was serious and quite solemn.

"I promise we'll dance tomorrow, okay?"

 "I wouldn't have the courage to do this tomorrow," she quickly retaliated. She breathed out, meeting his eyes, "Grant me this and I'll never ask anything from you ever again."

The corners of his lips tugged downward. He then positioned them so he was standing in front of her. "Gyeoul, you can ask anything from me all you want, okay? It's just that you're drunk and you really need to get home."

It's those kinds of words that made it feel like her feelings weren't one-sided.

Gyeoul hesitantly locked her fingers behind his neck and walked closer, her forearms resting on his shoulders. Taehyung gulped at their close proximity and nimbly put his hands on her waist. "Will you dance with me, please?"

He bit the inside of his cheek, guilt overriding his system. It would take a lot for him to forgive himself. The very same person he wanted to protect from the rest of the world was the one he hurt. He wanted to drop everything and dance with her, even if the whole world was watching. He wanted to hold her hand and assure her that she was the only thing that goes through his mind every day. Taehyung felt impatient to adore her.

But he was afraid.

And that will be his downfall.

"You're right, I may be drunk. This may be a mistake. When morning comes, I may act like I don't remember and act uncomfortable around you," she started to sing. "But tonight there is something that I absolutely have to say."

Taehyung looked at her amusedly as they continued to sway from side to side, "The drunk part is really accurate. Sober Ahn Gyeoul would never sing to me like this."

Gyeoul ignored him and kept going, "I apologize for my current state. But please don't think that I am just saying this because I am drunk. Whenever I am in front of you, I prepare myself to say this, but I always say the opposite thing, turn around and regret it."

Her voice was breathy, almost like a whisper. But what Taehyung really noticed was something dripping in her voice that no amount of practice could replicate. Sincerity. But then again, she truly was not in the right state.

"But now I will declare to you that I have loved you from the start, I love you so much." Gyeoul's head dropped slightly, her eyes closed. Taehyung closed his eyes and gently connected their foreheads which made her melt slightly but didn't pull away. "Even if my sloppy declaration seems corny or unbelievable, it is not something I am just saying. I'll probably never do something like this again."

Taehyung waited for the next lyrics to fall out of her lips, but all he heard for the next few seconds were steady breaths. He smiled, knowing that she was already half asleep from the way her steps became minuscule.

"But as the night becomes light, I will hold you in my arms once again," he continued. He pulled away, gazing at her face. A delicate smile spread on his lips as he observed the way her cheeks were a bit flushed and the way her eyebrows were subconsciously furrowed. He reached up and lightly smoothed the crease between her eyebrows. "And tell you that I love you."

He sighed and lightly tickled her sides to wake her up, all the while adjusting her bag so it was on his front. When he saw her open her eyes by a fraction, he turned around and motioned her to get on his back as he crouched down slightly. Too drunk and too disconnected from the world to object, Gyeoul silently obliged and sluggishly got on his back. Taehyung stood straight and allowed her to adjust herself, starting to walk when he felt her cheek fall on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Gyeoul."

NOTE

the quote from dante's inferno was something that stuck with me when i read call me by your name. andre aciman described francesca's words as, 'when one person is thoroughly smitten with the other, the other must unavoidably be smitten as well.' 

this chapter was inspired by that one run bts episode where they sang karaoke and taehyung sang drunken truth and coward. the scenes between them are (sort of) centralized in those songs.

i hope you enjoyed this one!

song(s) mentioned in this chapter — you are the music in me by the high school musical 2 cast | drunken truth by kim dong ryul