C H E R R Y  B L O S S O M

The last time Elena had opened her phone had been so long ago. It was hard at first to let it go, but eventually, after a few months of isolation, she finally forgot to charge it. From then on, she hadn't touched it.

Plugging in her phone, Elena waited a few minutes before booting it up. She was met with her lock screen, a selfie she had taken with her best friend. To her surprise, she didn't flinch away, didn't drop her phone. She was quiet, still, calm even.

Elena found herself feeling more wistful more than anything. She missed her. She missed everyone that she had called a friend. Staring at the smiles, Elena didn't move until her screen blinked out.

"Damn," she murmured, letting her hand fall. "Christine."

The name was familiar on her tongue. It was practiced and loved. It was as if she had never left.

"Christine," she said again. "Christine. Christine."

After a few moments, Elena picked up her phone. She opened it, sucking a breath at her home screen. It was even worse, the wallpaper a group picture. Her eyes trailed over the faces: her own, Christine Palmer's, Nic West's, and Stephen Strange's.

Closing her eyes, Elena set her jaw straight. She breathed in, out. In and out. When she reopened her eyes, Elena checked her notifications. She wasn't surprised to find that there was none of importance. Her email was filled with advertisements, and she had stayed away from social media.

Elena opened her messages. Scrolling through the multiple texts that were seen but not responded to, she paused at Chrstine's and opened the thread. She skimmed through the previous messages, and Elena scoffed at her childishness.

Her thumb hovered over the text box. Should she text?

She must have debated with herself for hours because the next thing she remembered was a knock. Dropping her phone, she shook her head. What would she write anyways?

Her door swung open as she stood. Tony poked his head in. "Dumpling!" he said. "Just the person I was looking for."

Elena grinned, walking towards him. "What is it?" she asked.

It had been a few days since she had told Natasha about Lieselotte. Since then, she had developed a routine to train with Clint and Natasha every evening. She spent her days either in her suite or getting to know her housemates.

"Banner and I are going to play. And uh, he's being..." Tony snapped his fingers together, cocking his head to his side as he searched for the right word. He frowned as he settled on one. "Difficult. Come join us. Calm down his feathers, would you? Would be a shame if he turned all green and destroyed all my tech."

Elena froze. "You want me in a lab?"

"Problem?"

Fear settled into her, and her lips parted. She gulped. It was different when Lieselotte suggested she return to a lab. She had been too shocked back then. Elena closed her mouth, swallowing hard. "No," she finally said. "No problem. I'll meet you there."

"Great!" Tony spun on his heels. "Five minutes. Let's get this party started."

Elena chuckled, the sound hollow even to her own ears. She grimaced, reaching one hand to the other to rub her wrist. She supposed that it would be good for her to mess around in a laboratory environment under her own conditions before she was forced into one. Besides, she was rusty. And Elena didn't want to think about what Lieselotte would do if she made a single mistake when the time came.

As she moved to leave the room, Elena's eyes caught a white glint. She paused in her step, turning. The white lab coat seemed to shine, her embroidered name radiant. Sighing, Elena walked towards the bed, where it lay. Biting the insides of her cheek, she picked it up. Not a single trace of hesitation haunted her as she pulled her arms into the sleeves.

The coat fit comfortably around her body, and her breath hitched when she saw herself in the mirror. Give her some gloves and some scrubs and you had her former self. Running a hand through her hair, Elena smiled grimly. She supposed this was what Lieselotte wanted her to do, what she would have been coerced to do.

Lieselotte had said that she had no choice, but in the end, she did have one. Elena had the choice of whether or not to prepare herself, and she would. She wasn't going to be made a fool in front of her. She wasn't going to back away and die. She was going to work for that cure. Because what would she do if she didn't get it?

Marching out of her room, Elena took one last look at her phone before shutting the door. The elevator ride took some minutes to arrive all the way to the top floor. Flashes of the experiment blinked into existence, but Elena waved her hand and pushed them away.

She didn't want Tony and Bruce to worry, and she certainly did not wish to tell them. With a shake of her head, she followed Tony's obnoxiously loud voice. It didn't take long for her to find them.

"Hey," she said, making her way towards them.

"Hey," Bruce replied, not sparing her a glance as he swiped through the holograms.

Tony, on the other hand, lowered his tinted glasses. His eyebrows rose as he whistled. "Nice coat. Makes you look spiffy."

Elena rolled her eyes as Bruce looked up in surprise. She took a breath to calm her nerves. "What are we working on?" she asked, taking a look at the holograms over Bruce's shoulder.

"Ever since you mentioned a serum, we've been trying to figure out our own," Bruce replied. He paused. "Is that okay?"

Elena's jaw dropped. "Okay?" she echoed. "No, that's great! Amazing. How's the progress?"

Tony laughed, slapping her shoulder. "I told you she'd be a-okay with this," he said. "There was no reason to worry."

Bruce chose to ignore him, instead answering Elena. "Not great," he muttered. "It's a wonder how Hydra created the serum without any information."

"Well, what do you need?"

He guided her over to a workstation, picking up a needle. "For starters, we could get a blood sample."

Elena took the needle from him. "I can do it myself," she said.

Bruce stared at her for a moment, and Elena could feel his eyes gauging her mental stability. She gulped, smiling softly. "I'll be fine. I've done this many times before."

He nodded once, turning away to find Tony munching on some pretzels. "Tony!" he sighed, hurrying away to reprimand him.

Elena snorted at how he took the package away from him, saying how it could contaminate the experiment. Smiling to herself, she tightened her grip on her needle and turned over her arm. She studied the blood cells, pursing her lip.

Readying the needle above her vein, Elena sucked in a breath. Her hand shook, and Elena looked away. She didn't even think when she plunged the needle down, piercing her skin. The needle went nowhere near her vein. She immediately hissed. "Shit!" she gasped, removing the needle.

Blood began to gather on her arm, and Elena dropped the needle. Bruce was instantly at her side. "I thought you said you had it under control," he said, leading her to a sink.

Elena didn't even fight him as he cleaned up her arm. She looked away. If she couldn't do such a simple thing as drawing blood, then what could she do? There was no way she would survive Lieselotte like this. And yet, she couldn't allow herself to just stay with the Avengers until they managed to create a cure.

Her pride wouldn't allow that. She couldn't just sit around while Bruce and Tony did everything for her.

She suddenly felt a sharp pinch on her head. Elena startled, sitting up. Her hand reached for her head, and she looked up to find a sheepish Tony. "What are you doing?" she gasped, rubbing her head as Bruce jumped from his spot.

"Hair sample," he replied, waving a strand of her hair in front of her.

"You could have just asked," Elena groaned.

"What, and wait an hour?" he responded. "Blood's already taking too long."

Seething, Elena dropped her hand. She huffed in annoyance, glaring at Tony who didn't seem to notice. She watched him as he brought her hair to a microscope, and it hurt more than it should have to know that he was right. She had delayed them.

"Ignore him," Bruce muttered. "I need you to relax."

Sighing, Elena slumped back down. She willed herself to relax, focusing on her breathing. "Sorry," she murmured when he inserted the needle.

Bruce looked up. "What for?" he asked, pulling the needle out.

She shook her head, elbows rising in a shrug. "For everything?"

"Hydra was created long before you were born, Doctor," Bruce said. "Whitehall was never your fault."

Elena smiled softly as Bruce raised the blood sample into the light. "Thank you." She paused before adding, "Doctor."

Bruce nodded at her before moving to occupy the microscope besides Tony. She watched him leave, and she thought about Lieselotte. Bruce was right when he said that her actions weren't her fault, but she could have prevented them. She was the one person that day four years ago that was too weak to stand up for herself. She just had to follow orders, too afraid to do otherwise.

Stand firm. We must finish this.

It wasn't bravery. It was pathetic.

Elena supposed that was what made her a lesser doctor. Her old friends had done things their own way. They fought for what they believed. And what of her?

She was a black moon, invisible in the night and black as the deepest void. She was the dark in the brightest of lights.

Sighing, Elena picked herself up and busied herself with mindless lab work.

People always wished for evil to be gone from the world. From the beginning, it had always been her. The black moon was evil and should be dead. Elena inclined her head. She wouldn't be facing any of this if she was dead. The Avengers wouldn't have to deal with her; her friends wouldn't have been hurt. And Lieselotte? She may not be working with Hydra. 

... 

I've no idea where anything is going. 'tis stressful business. 

I'm debating whether I want Thor in on this. Cause he's on Asgard and I don't know how to make him come back and if he is even needed in this story. 

Also, I've come to the conclusion that I dislike online school. Sure, I like doing things my own time but I've no motivation. Plus, it's harder for me to learn even though it's a pass or fail now. 

I would continue talking but by this point, I'm just listing out all my problems and you don't wanna hear all that. Turns out, quarantine has me stuck in my head all the time. In its fairness, it helps with writing Elena but I don't like it. 

Okay, I'm done talking for real now.