When they were allowed to finally visit San, Yeosang, Wooyoung, and Seonghwa were the first to go. Only two came back after about ten minutes, Yeosang refused to leave his friend's side.

No one had bothered Lily until now, when Seonghwa finally came over and crouched in front of her. His eyebrows furrowed in concern when he saw the empty look in her eyes. "Baby?" He said softly, placing a hand on her knee. She didn't move, still staring at the same spot on the floor she had been looking at for hours. Seonghwa squeezed gently. "Are you ok?"

She didn't respond.

"Lily, please look at me." He placed one finger on the side of her chin so he could turn her head.

Cold, hazel eyes met his.

"Lily, San wants to see you." He said, rubbing his thumb over her knee.

Lily seemed to shrink back and stared at the floor again.

Seonghwa sighed and noticed that her drink was still almost full. He stood and whispered something to Yunho, the taller whipped his head around to stare at Lily.

He rushed to her side and took her hands in his. "Lily. Lily, what's wrong?"

Again, she stayed silent.

The oldest knelt in front of her again. "Don't you want to go see San?"

When she didn't answer again, Yunho growled and swept her into his arms.

"No!" She said, trying to push him away. "Yunho put me down!" She kicked her legs, but it only looked like they were flailing in the air.

"No." He said harshly.

I can't face him. I'm scared. It's my fault he's here. All my fault...

When Lily realized Yunho wasn't going to put her down, she surrendered and hung limply in his arms. The trip to San's room seemed to last forever. When he stopped outside a door, she buried her face into his chest and clutched his shirt. He shifted and placed her on her feet before opening the door and placing a hand on the small of her back to guide her into the room.

San laid in the hospital bed, conversing with Yeosang quietly. They were holding hands. Lily let her eyes wander to the multiple cords stuck in San's arms, hooking him to various machines so he could be monitored 24/7.

Yunho cleared his throat and nudged Lily forward a little more.

San slowly turned his head and smiled. Even with his disheveled hair and tired face, his smile was still bright enough to cause his dimples to show. "I'm so glad you're safe." He said softly.

Lily lost it. She ran to his side and grabbed the hand that was reaching for her. She held it tight, placing soft kisses there before burying her face into the mattress. Her sobs were still hoarse.

Yeosang winced at the sound and crossed to the other side of the bed to place a hand on her shoulder.

Yunho took his place and placed a hand gently on San's leg. "I'm glad you're going to be ok, man. You really had us worried."

"I'm sorry. You know how I like to keep you all in suspense." San said, smiling again. Yunho shook his head and chuckled.

"Yup, you'll be fine if you can make some of your weak-ass jokes now." He leaned back in his chair and stared fondly at his friend.

San turned to look at Lily again, squeezing her hand to get her attention. She lifted her head and he used his thumb to wipe away her tears. "I'm glad you're ok." He said again.

"Y-you're s-so stupid, S-San." Lily choked between sobs. "I'm the o-one whose g-glad you're ok."

"What happened to your voice?" He said, eyes closing in concern.

Lily shook her head. "That d-doesn't matter. You just need to focus on h-healing." She winced at how much it hurt to talk.

San smiled again, his eyes lighting up. "I promise, I will."

­­­---

The group of friends took turns visiting San, staying for hours at a time. Except for Yeosang, who refused to leave the hospital, ignoring all of San's protests.

When Lily wasn't at the hospital, she locked herself in Seonghwa's room, not wanting to be around anyone.

Dark thoughts filled her head, and she couldn't fight them.

The other's begged her to come out, saying San wouldn't want her to do this.

San wouldn't be in this situation if it wasn't for me. She told herself whenever they tried to use that line.

My fault.

It's all my fault.

I've put them in danger.

She refused to eat. And by the end of the week she didn't even come out to visit San.

"Lily! Lily, open up now." Wooyoung called, pounding on the door. "Please," he said softer, "Please let me in."

Go away, Wooyoung.

It was then that she made her decision. When night fell, she quietly packed her things, knowing someone was pacing outside her door hoping she would come out. Biting her lip, she looked down at her wrist, fingering the charm once, before slipping the bracelet off and laying it on Seonghwa's desk.

I'm sorry.

Lily opened the window, jumped into the tree just outside, and left.

---

"Do it, Jongho." Hongjoong said quietly.

The youngest nodded and rammed himself into the bedroom door, ripping it off its hinges. He stumbled into the room and looked around, spinning in a quick circle before running to the bathroom door to yank it open.

"She's gone..."

"What?" Several voices said at once, flooding into the bedroom.

Yunho stopped before the open window, placing a hand over his mouth. "Why?"

Wooyoung picked up the bracelet, running his finger over the 'M' charm. "She blames herself..."

The others turned to him. "But it's not..." Jongho said.

"I know, and I know that none of us blame her." Wooyoung held out the bracelet to Seonghwa, who took it and looked at the younger, confusion twisting his face. "Remember when she told us about her father? How he..."

"Killed her friend..." Yunho finished.

"She blames herself for what happened to San."

"We have to find her before she does something stupid." Seonghwa said, a hint of panic in his voice.

The others nodded in agreement, and they decided the best thing to do right now was split up and comb the neighborhood.

Wooyoung called Yeosang to bring him up to date. "Don't tell San yet. He doesn't need that extra stress right now..."

"Find her, Youngie." Yeosang whispered, covering his mouth to hide his sobs.

Wooyoung nodded, even though he knew the other couldn't see. He met the others by the front door and listened to them dividing up the area.

Seonghwa silently handed Lily's bracelet back to Wooyoung. He closed his fingers around it and squeezed until his knuckles turned white.

"Let's meet back here no later than 10 o'clock." Hongjoong, looked at each one of them in turn, waiting for a nod from each before moving on to the next. "If anyone finds anything, call me or Hwa immediately."

Then they left, running in different directions searching for their friend.

---

Lily made her way to the center of the city, hoping to find somewhere to stay for the night. People pushed past her as if she wasn't even there, busy with their own lives, hopefully going home to someone they love.

She pulled her hood up to cover her face and ducked into a small shop to get away from the crowds. Sighing, she turned to see she was in a small clothing store. It was neatly arranged. There was so much inventory that there were even displays on the walls.

Wandering further into the store, she couldn't help but think it was a nice store. Then she noticed that there weren't any repeats of, well, anything. The tags looked hand printed and the prices were actually very cheap.

"Hello, Dear." A woman's voice came from the back of the store. Lily's head flew up and she took a step back. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. I really must stop doing that." The woman chuckled softly. "Can I help you find anything?" Lily shook her head and started backing to the exit.

"You look tired. Would you like to come sit down?" The woman held out a slightly wrinkled hand and smiled.

Lily studied the woman for a moment, taking in her lined face and greying hair. I don't think she will hurt me... Then she took the woman's hand and followed her into the back room.

"What is your name, Dearie?"

"Lil... Lily." She forced out, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Oh, you poor thing! Let me make you some tea." Lily watched the lady rush to the counter in the back and start boiling some water.

I don't deserve this kindness... she said, staring at the floor. I don't deserve anything... before she knew it, she was crying. Her hoarse sobs caused the woman to spin around and come to her side.

She didn't understand why, but she let the woman hold her and rock her back and forth. Crying made her throat worse, but she didn't care. Neither did the woman. The only time she left the girl's side was to lock up the store early, flipping over the sign to say closed and locking the front door.

When she came back, the girl had stopped crying. She knelt in front of her and took her hands. "Is there someone I can call for you?"

Yes.

She shook her head.

"No family or friends?"

Yes...

She shook her head again.

"Then you can stay with me, for now." The woman took her hand and led her to a set of stairs that went up to an apartment above the store. She took Lily to her couch and brought her a blanket and some pillows. "Try to get some rest."

Lily was asleep before her head hit the pillow.

---

When 10 o'clock rolled around, all six of the boys turned up empty handed. There was no sign of Lily anywhere.

They sat in silence, trying to come up with other ideas of where to look.

When Wooyoung couldn't take it anymore, he stormed into the backyard. The other's winced when they heard him yell.