Come to the dark side! We have cookies and evil tea!
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Pull up your rickety chair and make yourself comfortable while you can!

The Dark Heir by HM_Braverman

Just like John Cleese said, here is something completely different. Today's book is one that I've just recently discovered and I had to include it here, because it is amazingly funny and deserves a lot more readers, as it is also the author's entry for the Open Novella Contest 2019 hosted by Wattpad's OpenNovellaContest.

⭐️ What's inside?

The blurb promises us the following love child:

What would it look like if "Good Omens", "Monty Python" and "Arrested Development" had a back-alley three-way one-night-stand and birthed a fairytale?

The result would be of course: The Dark Heir. Subtitle: A Book of Assumptions, Anti-Heroes and Apocalypses. Well Maybe just one Apocalypse.

⭐️ Who will enjoy this book?

Anyone who is up for a quirky and odd story with more dark humour, witty remarks and biting sarcasm than is healthy and good for them. I've stated it in a comment and will say it here again: this story is "completely and adorably bonkers." Lovers of Monty Python and Terry Pratchett will feel instantly at home in this madhouse.

The author serves us a refreshing twist on well known tropes. There's a king, but he's gay, there's a queen, but she's depressed and adulterous, there's a Dark Lord, but -, no, he is definitely evil, and then there's (just) a magician and a possibly evil princess. Lots of people die along the way, others are catapulted into the future to change the past, we get to know things about cults we didn't even want to know and then the world might be saved in the end. Or will it? That remains to be seen, as the story is still ongoing, but I have full trust in the author that she will take this to a finale that will be worthy of this tale. Ah, yes and Fate is a woman and she drives a red Ferrari. Smooth ride.

Be careful though, if you sip tea or coffee, or any type of beverage really while you read this book. You might spill it accidentally during a sudden fit of laughter. I am not saying that this has happened to me. Because it has not. Ever. Not a single time. And don't come back later complaining that I didn't warn you!

😱 Who should best avoid this book?

Those who are easily offended by jokes about religious topics, or have problems with homosexuality, the occasional mentioning of private parts and so forth. So in short all those who wouldn't know humour if it bit them on their butt.

⭐️ What's the best part about it?

It's the way the author makes the characters stumble through the mess that are their lives, either completely unaware of what the hell is even going on around them, or trying to help others, while they get all even more tangled. Not only is the writing on point and carefully crafted, with excellent attention payed to grammar and orthography, but it also never fails to entertain the dark side of mine that gleefully awaits the next wicked plot twist or unexpected turn. Other added goodies are the little preview bits at the end of each chapter, plus footnotes and author's notes that are as comprehensive as they are amusing and must under no circumstances be skipped.

⭐️ Favourite moments?

As always it was really hard for me to choose some favourite moments, because honestly, there are just so many *screams*. But anyhow, I had to settle for a few, so here are three basically randomly plucked short scenes.

The first one is from the first chapter Once Upon a Time and introduces the villain, aka Dark Lord of this story. You know them, the rabble that goes by the names of Melkor, Darth Vader, Voldemort and the likes. This one though is slightly different.

His name was Lorred D'Kay, but he preferred to be just called Lorred - pronounced Lord. It created a lot of confusion and chaos wherever he went because that's what everyone called the king.

The second one is taken from the chapter A "Good Old" Witch Burning and shows us the magician Gerald as he is searching for Rose, who might or might not be ending up at the stake.

In town he'd been made aware of a "good old" witch burning which was going to take place that night. Gerald was confused, because he'd never heard of a witch burning before, or why would one take place, or why would it be a "good old" one.

The last one is from the chapter The Adoption Agency Meets Mob Mentality and has once again those Monty Python vibes that make this book such an entertaining read. We find ourselves in the midst of an angry mob trying to burn and ransack, when the furious people are stopped by Rose, the evil princess-to-be, Arien, the future wannabe king and Gerald, the rather tolerable magician.

This did halt the mob for a moment while their chemical-ravaged brains tried to process this information.

"Is this a kingdom?"

"Do we have a king?"

"I thought we were a socialist society."

"No, Bob, we're capitalists."

"Actually we're an oligarchy."

"How do you know which is which?"

"...good question...never thought about it."

"But we're not a kingarchy?"

"That's not a word Bob, you're looking for Monarchy, and no, we're not."

⭐️ The bottom line?

If you're looking for something that will make you cackle like a maniac when you've spotted yet another cross reference, then by all means, go and read The Dark Heir! You won't regret it. If you don't like it you can always run away and hope that Lorred D'Kay doesn't spray you with his lethal shaving cream "Omega Shave - The last shaving cream you'll ever need".

⭐️ What more can be said?

Exactly! So get thee gone and slurp thy tea elsewhere! Thanks! ☕️🍪☕️🍪☕️

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Author's Notes: I hope you've enjoyed this latest review of a slightly different book and maybe some of you are even brave enough to check it out!

Thank you for voting and commenting and for your continued support!

Stay tuned for my next review^^!

Cheers,
💫Flora💫

Gifs used here are from giphy....and now I'm going to get myself a shrubbery!