What does it mean to be happy?

We tend to think happiness is this strong superfluous response to the positive stimuli around us.

I beg to differ,

Happiness to me is a reflective sonder thought when our hearts are still.

It's accepting what we can't change; and knowing that happiness won't always be the only emotion we feel.

It's coffee and sunsets at the end of cigarette buds.

Rueful harmonies in a strange culture.

It's crying in the rain because no one ever asks how the clouds collect our tears. (Empathy)

Happiness is the appreciation of all the little blessings in between.

Happiness acquits a raging heart that can't freely beat in the iron cages of our Ego.

(Happiness is.....whatever you fill in this blank)

(Jacob Pov)

The heat of her body is a different and new touch. To connect with someone so deeply, that you feel every step, they take away from you.

Anna gently tugged on my shirt, as we stood in my bathroom.

Everything had been going great until the moment Anna decided to be hasty. I didn't want to rush this, and Anna was treating it like a dream that would fall apart a midnight.

It made me uncomfortable. Why was she rushing this feeling and making it seem forced?

"You know this is the part where you...stop gawking at me like a owl and do something," she joked. Her hands slowly slide underneath my shirt. I felt her cold trembling hands on my rock hard abdomen.

I groaned in response as my body erupted and shivered.

"See it as a birthday present" she suggested taking off her top.

Anna's lips skidded against my bare neck with stinging cold kisses, chastising me with her ravishing hunger.

Under her touch, I am a lesser man, weak and on my knees for something so subtle as her attention.

"Anna please!" I whispered as she pinned me against the wall in a perfervid manner. Her dainty fingers were entangled in dark hair as if she had been dying to play with it all day.

My nostrils flared. I was helpless in her flames, burned by the neon lust of her smokey lustful fever.

Anna's had that stubborn look in her eyes, a look that screamed, she will have me in any way she pleases.

I'm afraid for her to take a step closer. Terrified that these wonderful sensations will turn me into a madman, under her charms and rough persuasions.

"Anna!" I laughed softly as I guided her out of the bathroom and into my room, "My parents" I reminded her nodding my head in the direction of the kitchen.

She huffed, and then rolled her eyes, "fine I just thought you liked me..." her words trail off as she blushed miserably.

Then it hit me, I figured Anna out! She's was the type of girl who wanted to be loved, and it took all of her bravery to express her emotions, no matter how much she pretended to be Superwoman...I was her kryptonite, I made her vulnerable.

I made her care.

A smile I couldn't control crept on the ridges of my face.

"Aww come here" I chuckled as I grabbed her waist.

I pulled Anna into arms, as she tried to protest. Her stiff body slowly gave in to my welcoming arms.

"Anna," I said nervously as I held her close to my humming chest, the smooth hairs on my chin tickled her nose as I spoke.

I could feel the jittery energy in my fingertips, as my heart raced and I fought to say the only words that weighed my soul down. My heart rose through my nervous system, it was now...or never. I was walking a line, a tightrope looking down. and I was closer to heaven than ever before, yet I was falling...

"I love you too," I blurted out.

"WHHHHAT?!" she sputtered looking at me with rage and confusion.

I felt her pushing away, as she removed my arms from hers, "What's a girl gotta do to get some dick around here?" she cursed.

I stood frozen, completely ashamed.

"I didn't buy you a birthday present, so I was trying to give you the best thing you will ever have. I mean it's not like anyone else would" she rudely explained.

Anna angrily tried to maneuver past me, but I blocked the door.

"Stop this Anna!" I said firmly,

"You don't have to pretend with me okay?! I see you and I get you, and I like you!"

I stammered as my heart spilled onto my sleeves.

"nothing about you makes me want to run away...so stop lying Anna. Every day, I have to fight to speak, and then I met you and my words have never been clearer! " my voice cracked under the pressure of our emotions.

The room was silent and tense. Anna stood on one side and I stood on the other.

She looked away tears coming down her trembling face as she sobbed, "It's not that Jacob, I think God hates me" she rubbed her red eyes, letting the black ink of her mascara stain her face, "every time I'm brave enough to let someone in, they...." she trembled.

"I'm not doing this forever Anna," I said firmly making a stance, "I'm right here, and all we have is here and now. I want you today, tomorrow and as long and as selfishly as one can desire something" I promised, "but I want the real you, not the contrived character" I told her.

Anna gulped wiping her running nose on her sleeve, "I just met you today, this isn't a fucking movie or a love novel Jacob, people just don't love each other this quickly. My only goal today was to be happy for twenty-four straight, and I swear I've never cried so much" she paused to look at the clock in my room, "I have a few more hours before I can abort this stupid mission. So please get out of my way" she whispered shutting down.

Sometimes, people accept the love they think deserve. It's hard to believe that we are worth someone's kindness without it taking from us. It is this same concept that separates Gods from People. We have holes in our hearts and yet we are spilling our guts looking for someone to love us, more than we do.

I could feel my heart breaking, even before the lump burrowed in my throat and the tears made my vision a little foggy. Anna couldn't love me because she couldn't give more than what she had to offer herself.

"Okay," I said quietly stepping out of her way.

Anna studied me for a second, "okay" she repeated uncertainty.

The air settled in with her perfume, it was a sweet spice, like her presence.

Anna touched my shoulder, pausing hesitantly to look at me through heavy eyelashes, "Jacob, I'm sorry I lie a lot. It's for me..." she struggled to explain, sadness breaking upon her face, "don't believe anything I say. I probably mean the opposite" she shrugged slipping past me.

I nodded, she didn't need to apologize again, I knew she was sorry for the hurtful comments she had made earlier.

"Where are you going?" I asked worried, it was getting very late.

"To a place where death is nothing but a drop" she grinned mysteriously.

I opened my mouth, but Anna raised her hand, "I don't want you to come. Tomorrow you'll wake up and this will all be like a dream. You will have forgotten me in the millions of strangers you met in your life, and if you do decide to hold on to me like a memory, I promise it will be painful because I already let go. I'm not going to change, Jacob. Who I am is safe, and okay. And no I don't love you" she said looking me dead in my eye.

I sighed, I guess our time was up, and all I would have to remember was a beautiful scar on my heart, from where she tore it.

I heard my door close, softly and I knew that she was gone, like a single shedding feather in the wind.

(Anna's POV)

I lied.

Ever single goddamn thing that came out of my mouth was a destructive force. It was like a young lioness protecting her cubs, it would destroy anyone that got too close.

Jacob was the best thing that ever happened to me but I was afraid to have him. My mom fell from the sky, and life never gave her back. My father was living but his heart and soul was with the dead, all he wanted was his Rose. The immersible and excruciating pain we kept to ourselves, turned our hearts to stone. Loving hurt too much.

Jacob was sweet and smoothly confident. His dark eyes were like a mirror they saw deeply into the ugliest parts of myself and yet made it beautiful.

Someone wise once said, we are only as sick our secrets, I was lovesick.

When we're together I lose time, I don't count the minutes or wait on now, it just feels like happinesses is forever.

Jacob's kisses were mind-blowing as they explored the depths of my sensory, and examined my body like uncharted territory.

More importantly, everything about him exuded strength, and in life, we all need someone to lean on. He was honestly for me, simply because he understood the parts that other people didn't care about.

I lied to him because the right thing to do is let someone you don't deserve go. I would hate myself if I ever hurt him if my corruption became his, and I broke him with my dysfunction.

It's hard to love what we don't understand, but even easier to fear.

I meant what I said when I told Jacob all I had was twenty-four hours. Time was quickly running out. The air was cold and splintering as it whipped against my spine angrily. I could hear the waves rising high to beat against the unsteady shores.

A fresh sting of tears trickled down my eyes as I looked up at the dark sky, "mom, wait for me I'll soon be coming home" I whispered.

The air in our lungs are what keeps us afloat because precious life is buoyant, but when we expel and let go, we sink.

(Jacob's POV)

A gentle knock on my door made me hopeful, I looked up eagerly.

"Hi!" my mom yawned.

"Oh hi!" I said gloomily.

My mom sat down next to me on the bed, "I wanted to tell you something, and I know it's two in the morning but maybe it's important" she mumbled with worry.

I waited for her to tell me.

"Your friend Anna, I knew I recognized her face but I didn't know from where, until I looked up old news catalogs"

"You looked her up?!" I asked annoyed.

My mom shushed me, "listen, please! Her mother passed away years ago on this day. In a terrible plane crash, it made headline news because of how graphic and devastating it was. I just wanted to let you know in case she needed comfort.

Today's a hard day for her I can imagine, in exactly thirty minutes will be the time they found her mother's body. Anna survived simply by using her mother's body as a flotation device. She was able to hold on until her mother's corpse started to sink.."

I gasped everything made sense now, from Anna screaming at the bar and having a meltdown, from her ominous words like "let me drown" or what she had said to me right before she let.

I jumped up, praying that this bad feeling I was having was just from the food.

"What's wrong?" my mom asked reading the panic on my face.

"Call the police?" I cried grabbing my coat.

"How long do I have?" I asked quickly.

"Twenty four minutes," my mom said.

My feet soared, racing past the stream of darkening lights. If we could last forever, then I wanted her to understand me more, to spend the days and nights with something worth being loved for.

Yes, I was selfish but I wasn't done loving her. I needed to get to Anna, with everything that I had. My lungs were burning as I flew and skidded in a madding pace, my focus was just on now.

I needed to her to be okay

To just hold on to life with a blood curling grip,

To turn our darkest days into to a better life.

To take her pain and not allow it to drown her

To float...

Authors Note: Check out the song above it goes amazing with his chapter or check out Leela James-Falling. I hope you guys are ready for whats coming! <3