The two months passed way too quickly. Ashton and Niles had another wellness check with Dr. Jones, where Niles explained their plan to help Ashton get home. Ashton had been worried that she would want to know where his clan lived, but she just smiled and nodded and said their meeting could count as Ashton's discharge interview.

Ashton began spending more time in the pond, feeling out the magic and learning how to absorb it. He knew that Niles was worried about him being too weak to make the trek back home, so he diligently focused on completing his exercises. It wasn't the same as flying, but Ashton gradually began to appreciate the feeling of darting among the reeds underwater. And he especially liked feeling more comfortable in his own skin as his body began to build back the muscle he had lost over those dark months of captivity.

Besides that, he spent as much time with Niles as possible. Knowing it was almost the end threw Ashton into a panic mode whenever he looked at his human. Every time he did something with Niles felt like the last time— the last trip to the garden, the last ocean documentary, the last clinic visit, the last book read together, the last night next to him.

He wanted to remember it all, but the harder he tried to hold on, the more time seemed to slip away. He couldn't even properly enjoy being with Niles because he was so busy worrying about living in a time when Niles would just be a memory, never to be experienced again.

Niles noticed his odd behavior, but he didn't seem to understand why Ashton was so bothered. The human took it in stride, though, and he let Ashton get away with anything he wanted, which was mostly just being held by him.

Erden certainly didn't understand why Ashton was spending most of his time indoors with the human, and he could see in her face that she disapproved. But even she was being remarkably indulgent with Ashton and didn't say anything about it.

For her part, she tried to be civil with Niles whenever he and Ashton went out to the garden. And after a few weeks of being pampered in one of the faerie houses, Ashton could tell she was warming up to him, though she never let Niles touch her.

Meanwhile, the dreams about Niles didn't stop. If anything, they got more intense. Being surrounded by Niles' scent in his sleep bled into his dreams and confused his waking moments. Ashton didn't understand what he wanted or what he was feeling. All he knew was that he needed Niles... and that he wouldn't have Niles for much longer.

***

The day of their departure finally arrived, and Ashton felt like he was going to be sick. It was a five-hour drive to Westburg, and Ashton wanted to ride in Niles' pocket the whole way, but Niles wouldn't let him.

"It's too dangerous if we get in an accident," he explained, placing Ashton in the modified faerie seat next to him. "You'd die on impact."

He pointed out the tough, clear overhang that shielded the front and top of the faerie seats. It had been imbued with magic to prevent it from being crushed. "See this?" Niles said. "This gives you much more protection than my pocket ever could."

Ashton strapped himself in with a huff, and Niles touched his cheek gently and chuckled. "You'll be fine," he assured him.

No, I won't, Ashton tried to tell him with his eyes. Because after today, I'll never see you again, and this is the last time I'll ever be able to feel your heartbeat against me.

But Niles had already closed the passenger door, and Lucy, Mara, and Erden were clambering in beside Ashton, so he sat back in his seat and clutched his seat belt tightly.

Niles got in and started the car. Erden immediately flinched and grabbed Ashton's arm, so he spent the first several minutes helping her settle down by pointing out all the things in the car and the way they could see the sky and tops of trees through the windows.

After a while, Erden slumped against his shoulder, lulled to sleep by the rocking motion of the car and the purr of the engine. Ashton stealthily glanced at Lucy and Mara, who seemed to be off in their own world. His heart leapt as he realized he was left to his own devices, and he decided to spend that freedom by staring openly at Niles as the human drove.

The farther they got from Niles' house, the deeper Ashton's foreboding grew, though he couldn't understand why. 

Maybe I'm making a mistake, he thought. Maybe I should stay with Niles. How can I leave him after all this?

Niles' familiar profile swam in his vision, the gentle slope of his nose, the freckle near his right eye, the sharp narrowness of his jaw. Ashton hurried to wipe his eyes before anyone could see.

But it doesn't make sense for you to stay with Niles, he argued with himself. You need to go home. You live separate lives in separate worlds, and it's time to return to yours.

But saying the words didn't convince him at all. It didn't even make him feel better. If anything, he just felt worse. So, he continued to stare at Niles, drinking him in with his eyes and trying to commit every last line, every small detail, every curve of his face to memory.

Niles eventually glanced down at him and did a double take at Ashton's intense stare.

"Ash?" he asked, looking back and forth between Ashton and the road. "You alright there, bud?"

Ashton could barely even shake his head. What is wrong with me? he wondered. I can't move, I can't talk.

A deep heaviness welled up inside him, and he didn't know what to do with it. I shouldn't be feeling like this, he thought. I get to go home. I want to go home. I know I do.

He looked back up at Niles. But I also want Niles to come with me, he realized. It was that truth, combined with the truth that Niles couldn't come with him, that muddled all his feelings and cast a shadow over the excitement he felt at the thought of finally going home.

"Ash?" Niles asked again, more gently this time. "You still with me?"

He reached for Ashton and placed a finger in his lap, which Ashton immediately picked up and hugged to himself.

Ashton could barely speak around the lump in his throat, but he tried his best. "I'm going to miss you," he finally whispered.

Niles looked surprised, but then his face relaxed into a sad smile.

"I'll miss you, too," Niles said, rubbing his thumb along Ashton's arm.

Yeah, but not in the way that I'll miss you, Ashton thought. But those were words that he could never say, so he settled for holding Niles' finger against his face and staring up at him wistfully.

***

All too soon, they were in Westburg. Erden directed Niles to an abandoned parking lot a little way out of town. It faced the trees, and that's where they were headed.

Erden immediately took off to scout out a good path, leaving Ashton with the chance to say goodbye.

He stood on the ground awkwardly, staring at his hands clasped in front of him. He didn't even know how to start.

It was Lucy who broke the silence first.

"Wait, I have an idea," she said, and Ashton looked over at her. She tugged a lock of blonde hair over her shoulder and quickly cut it off with the blade she kept strapped to her hip. Mara's eyes lit up, and Lucy passed her the knife so that she could do the same.

"What... what are you doing?" Ashton asked hesitantly.

Lucy didn't answer and swiftly flew up to Niles' shoulder. She whispered in his ear, and he nodded. She pulled a strand of his dark hair towards her and sliced it off.

Lucy landed beside a dumbfounded Ashton and held all three strands of hair out to him. Mara and Niles watched, smiling.

"I know this is traditional for hoklas, but Mara told me that you'll do this for close friends, too," she explained. "Like you and Erden."

Ashton gasped, realization dawning. When woodlands were especially close to someone, trading wing scales wasn't enough. Instead, they would braid strands of each other's hair into their own. It was a practice typically reserved for hoklas, but close friends who were bound by neither blood nor marriage sometimes exchanged strands of hair to show their deep bond.

Ashton took the strands of hair reverently and sectioned off a long strand of hair on the right side of his head, near his neck. Hair on the left side was meant for hoklas only. He swiftly wove the four strands together into a single braid and tied it off tightly. It hung there alongside Erden's strand.

Using a talon, Ashton then sliced off three thin strands of his own hair, offering them to Mara, Lucy, and Niles in turn.

Mara and Lucy busied themselves with braiding while Niles carefully wrapped the tiny hair up in a clean tissue.

"I'll put it in a locket when I get home," he promised Ashton. "And I'll wear it all the time."

Ashton nodded and blushed, quickly ducking his head down so Niles wouldn't see.

He was still looking down when he noticed Niles' hand in front of him, and he looked up, startled, to see Niles holding his hand out to him.

"Well, I guess this is it," the human said. He smiled at Ashton, but it wasn't wide enough to show off his dimple.

Are you sad, too? Ashton wanted to ask. Will you miss me the way that I'll miss you? He stared up at Niles' sad smile and swallowed around the lump in his throat, wondering.

Wiping his eyes, Ashton reached out and wrapped his arms around Niles' thumb, waiting for Niles to scoop him up, as he always did.

Niles did exactly that, curling his fingers around Ashton and holding him close. Ashton leaned his head against Niles's chest and closed his eyes to listen to his heartbeat one last time. Silent tears streamed down his face, and Niles held him quietly for a long time, stroking his hair and his back. Ashton got the feeling that Niles was waiting for his cue to be put down, but he couldn't bear to be the one to break away first.

"Niles?" Ashton finally whispered.

"Hmm?" Niles replied, still holding him.

Ashton opened his mouth to speak, but the words didn't come out. I love you. I need you. Don't leave me. Come with me. I can't do this without you. You're everything. I wish you were mine. I wish I was yours.

All he got out was a choked "thank you." It sounded grossly inadequate; paper thin words exchanged for the entire life that Niles had given back to him.

"You're welcome," Niles said back, and Ashton could tell that he understood the depths of his words, the sincere meaning behind the little phrase.

"Ashton?" Niles continued. Ashton held his breath and waited. "It's going to be ok," the human finished softly.

Tears sprang to his eyes, and Ashton couldn't control the little sob that escaped his lips. Niles heard it and held him closer in response.

"You're going to be ok," he repeated firmly. "I promise."

Ashton nodded tearfully. He took a deep breath, inhaling Niles' familiar scent for the last time, and pushed back from Niles' chest.

Niles caught his meaning and carefully put Ashton back down. Lucy and Mara, who had been quietly waiting on a fallen tree branch, stood up and brushed themselves off.

"You ready?" Lucy asked Ashton, placing a small hand on his shoulder. He nodded and looked up at Niles, who nodded back. Lucy quickly flew up to Niles and planted a light kiss on his cheek. "You can expect to see us in about four weeks," she reminded him, and Niles gave her a thumbs up in response. 

"I'll be here," he told her.

Mara strapped her pack to her chest and helped Lucy do the same once she had flown back down. Ashton swung his own pack over his back and wiped his face. They were ready to go way too soon, and Ashton turned to wave goodbye to Niles, who smiled and waved back. And then they were gone, disappearing into the undergrowth with Ashton's heart crumbling into pieces behind him.

***

Niles was surprised by Ashton's behavior all day. First it was the car ride, when he wouldn't let go of Niles' finger for the first hour of the drive. Then it was at their first rest break, when he curled up in Niles' pocket and refused to be moved. And now it was here, in an abandoned parking lot, when he held onto Niles' shirt and couldn't seem to let go.

Ashton has been acting strange the last few months getting ready for this goodbye, Niles remembered, not for the first time. He had been incredibly clingy, always wanting to be where Niles was. It didn't bother Niles, as Ashton was calm and quiet company. He seemed perfectly content to just sit with Niles as he worked, spending his time either in Niles' front pocket or leaning against his arm on the desk.

Niles often felt bad that Ashton's days weren't more interesting, but Ashton didn't seem to mind. And he was the one choosing to follow Niles everywhere, so Niles didn't discourage him from enjoying the freedom of being able to choose what he did with his time.

Maybe he was just overwhelmed by the change. He had clearly grown attached to Niles these last ten months, and Niles figured it was a lot for Ashton to suddenly leave him behind. Perhaps he was afraid that leaving Niles meant leaving safety, even if he was transitioning back home. 

But still. None of the other faeries Niles had cared for in the past ever reacted like this. They were always thrilled to be well enough to return to the wild. Shouldn't Ashton be more excited? Instead, it seemed like he was full of dread.

Niles sat there, pondering it all as he waited. He and Lucy had agreed that he would wait there for two hours to make sure they didn't come back. He would then spend the night at a nearby motel, check on the drop off point in the morning, and if there was no sign of them, return home for the next four weeks.

***

The house was quiet without Lucy or Ashton. Well, it was always quiet even with Ashton, but it was odd not to have a timid sprite to look after anymore. Niles sighed. He would get used to it, he knew, but for now, as he got ready for bed and looked at his empty pillow, he let himself miss the cautious little faerie.

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A/N: Got 3 more chapters left, let's goooo.

Thanks for making it this far! We're almost done!