#HHFM Chapter 09:

Kiss

* * *

"Wear a shirt, Ryo."

I immediately turned my back on him and went to the sink. My hair's still damp because I just took a bath a few minutes ago, kaya hindi ko rin alam kung bakit ako napaderetso sa lababo para maghilamos. Para kasing tanga. It's still early in the morning and he hasn't done his morning exercise, so what's the point of being shirtless? Ang lamig-lamig!

If he wanted to flaunt the ripples on his back and the tightness of his abdomen, this is not the place for that. I wasn't interested. I'm not his fangirl. He should go out and show it to those who would be down on their knees at the mere sight of him. Huwag dito. Nasisira ang umaga ko.

Pagkaharap ko, hindi pa rin siya nakabihis pero nakasampay na sa balikat niya ang itim na sando. Like usual, he's sporting his frown while preparing breakfast. I had to remind myself that I only have to endure a few more days alone with him and that this would all be over.

I sat down and he put a mug of milk in front of me. As much as I wanted to dig in, may manners pa rin naman ako dahil siya ang naghanda ng almusal. I don't know how he manages to wake up so early to prepare breakfast gayong parang late na lagi siyang natutulog—kung ano o sino ang dahilan, wala na akong pakialam.

I picked up a spoon and helped myself with the salted egg. He's still preparing his coffee at hindi pa rin siya nakabihis. I had to roll my eyes when he glanced at my direction. He might get the wrong idea that I was checking him out—na hindi mangyayari kahit kailan.

Kahit na gano'n, hindi ko magawang mairita nang sobra sa kaniya. I felt like he's taking advantage of my pregnancy by pacifying me with food.

Today, he prepared fried rice, mixed vegetables, salted egg, and tapa. I wouldn't admit it to him, but I'm always looking forward for breakfast dahil iba-iba ang niluluto niya. Baka kasi masyado siyang matuwa kaya hindi ko binabanggit at wala akong balak banggitin.

"Wear a shirt," utos ko ulit nang umupo siya sa tapat ko. His lips twisted and he returned the eye roll I gave him earlier. Papasukin ng lamig ang katawan niya sa ginagawa niya.

"Nangingialam ka?" iritable niyang sabi habang sumasandok ng kanin at inilalagay sa plato ko. "Maghubad ka rin kung gusto mo."

My brows immediately met like magnets after hearing what he said. Napatigil siya sa pagsandok nang hampasin ko ang kamay niya at agawin sa kaniya iyon para sandukan ang sarili. My face started to feel warm, kung dahil ba sa galit o sa hiya ay hindi ko rin sigurado. Kung ano-ano ba naman kasing lumalabas sa bibig niya!

"Dream on, Orion. Why would I get naked while you're watching?" Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay.

Matinding lumukot ang mukha niya na parang diring-diri at gusto kong ma-offend. As if namang hindi niya sinamba ang katawan ko sa apat na taon! What? Does he think I look gross now because of my stretch marks? Or is it because of the bump? E anak niya naman ang laman nito!

He gasped and shook his head. "Arte mo kasi," rinig kong sabi niya bago sinuot ang sando.

I thought I could focus on eating because the distraction was already covered with clothes but I was wrong. The lump on my throat made it hard to swallow food. For some reason, hindi matigil ang mga tanong sa isip ko.

Ryo used to shower me with compliments. I know it stopped because we broke up, pero hindi ko mapigilang isipin kung hindi na ba ako maganda para sa kaniya kasi nagbago na ang itsura't katawan ko. Sometimes my feet look so swollen, and I'm always on my slides here at home kaya lagi niyang nakikita. Does the sight scare him? My arms are slowly getting thicker now. Does he find them ugly?

"Ano'ng nangyayari sa 'yo?"

Ryo's voice made me snap from daydreaming. Ibinaba ko ulit ang tingin sa pagkain dahil parang lalo lang sumasama ang loob ko.

It shouldn't be a big deal. So what if he doesn't find me pretty now? The changes on my body are normal. If he doesn't like it, why should it matter? Why should I care so much? E di, ayawan niya ako! Ayaw ko rin naman sa kaniya.

"Hindi ba masarap?" he asked. I was not sure if the question was for me or for himself.

Kung kanina'y parang naglalaway ako sa almusal, ngayon e tuluyan na akong nawalan ng gana. My chest started to feel tight, and I know that any minute now, my tears will burst. Lalo akong tumungo para hindi niya makita.

I hate him. He's so ugly.

"Frankie," mas maamo niyang tawag ngayon. "May masakit ba sa 'yo?"

What he said seemed to have pushed the button. The tears I was trying to hold back suddenly came out. I slid my chair back and quickly went to the sink to wash my face. Narinig ko ang agad niyang pagsunod at lalo lang ako nanginig kaiiyak nang maramdamn ang kamay niya sa likuran ko. Ang plastik-plastik niya!

"Ano'ng nangyayari sa 'yo? Sa'n masakit?" tanong niya na parang alalang-alala.

Gusto ko nang busalan ang bibig niya dahil parang tuwing maririnig ko ang boses niya e lalo lang akong naiiyak. He's such a fake. He doesn't care about me anymore. He only cares because of Raiko and nothing else.

It should be the same way for me. Wala naman akong pakialam kung alagaan niya ako o hindi. I just wanted his money and the comfort of his lifestyle for our child. Fuck my hormones for making me so sentimental.

"Tumabi ka nga!" I grumbled as I shoved his arm away. His face painted confusion mixed with worry. Nakinita ko nang may balak siyang hagipin ako kaya lumayo ako agad.

"Ano ba'ng problema, Frankie?" mas mariin niyang tanong. What now? He's losing his patience? E di sana, sumama siya kina Tita! If he did, then he wouldn't have to deal with me! Siya naman itong nagpumilit na magpaiwan dito tapos ano, mapapagod siya?!

"Is this still about me sleeping in your room last Christmas? Wala naman tayong ginawa, a!" He scoffed. "And that was five days ago! It's not like we had sex or—"

I wanted to scream at his face, but instead of an intense clap back, my tears came out first. Agad na nanlaki ang mga mata niya at lumapit. My weak hands tried to slap him away, but it didn't make him budge. Ang suot niyang sando ang ginamit niya para punasan ang pisngi ko kahit na paulit-ulit ko siyang itinataboy. He's such a jerk!

Of course, he wouldn't have sex with me! My body's no longer the same! Na para namang kasalanan ko kung bakit ako lumolobo ngayon! Hindi na kasi ako maganda. Hindi na kasi ako payat. Hindi na kasi ako kasingkinis ng dati.

"Frankie, tahan na. Pucha," bulong niya.

The opposite of what he said happened, and I slammed my palms hard against his chest. "Minumura mo ba 'ko?!"

"What? Hindi!" agap niya, at mabilis na lumapit. Lumalagitik ang bawat hampas ko palayo sa braso at kamay niya.

"Siguro, si Talie, hindi mo minumura!" I pointed a finger at him.

He gasped, looking so frustrated. "Bakit nasama si Talie rito?" I could sense that he was trying to tone down his voice. "At hindi nga kita minumura."

"Maybe you'd be happier if she was bearing your child!" My arms felt weak at the thought. "Kasi mas maganda siya."

Tuluyang nanlabo ang paningin ko kaiiyak. Totoo naman iyon. She's taller and slimmer. She's prettier. She's rich. Ryo would be at a better place if he would choose to be with her. Maybe he already did. Maybe I was just slowing him down because of his responsibility to our child. Siguro, hindi siya laging nakasimangot sa umaga kung si Talie ang unang makikita niya.

"Frankie," mariin niyang sabi.

I felt his hand on my forearm, but I refused to look at him. Nagmamadali man ang palad ko sa paghabol sa nag-uunahang luha ay parang hindi matuyo-tuyo ang pisngi ko.

"Hindi gano'n," sabi niya. "Hindi ko naisip 'yan at hindi ko 'yan iisipin. Tumahan ka nga, napipikon na ako." Sapilitan niyang inalis ang kamay sa mukha ko at pinunasan ang pisngi ko gamit ang damit niya.

Hindi ko alam kung bakit tumahan ako nang marinig iyon. Panay pa rin ang bahagyang pagtalon ng dibdib ko hanggang sa utusan niya akong bumalik sa inuupuan ko. My eyes felt like they were bitten, and my cheeks felt heavier than usual. He got me a glass of water, and I quickly took a sip to calm myself down.

"Kumain ka na," he said, still using his serious tone that would magically shut me up every damn time. I picked up my utensils, like a programmed robot, and resumed eating, still sniffing from time to time. I saw him shake his head while he reached for his mug of coffee before sitting beside me.

Patapos na akong kumain, but he still hasn't touched his food again. Nilingon ko siyang seryosong nagkakape. He glanced at me and lifted his brow, as if he had radar installed that he could easily feel my eyes on him. Bigla akong nakaramdam ng hiya at umiwas ng tingin.

"Kumain ka na rin," I said in a hushed voice, hoping that he heard me because I didn't want to repeat what I said.

I heard him sigh before standing up. He got his plate before sitting beside me again. The awkward silence stretched on until we both finished our breakfast. Gusto ko na lang pumunta sa garden nila para ilubog ang sarili ko kasama ng mga pataba sa lupa.

I stayed in the living room and did the usual—pretending to be busy with something—so I wouldn't have to make eye contact nor start a conversation with him. I saw him going upstairs and a little while later, he went down wearing a different top with a face towel on his shoulder. Nawala ulit siya sa paningin ko nang pumunta siya sa kusina.

Nang magpakita siyang muli sa salas, may inilapag siya sa lamesa. His car keys, wallet, and phone. Pagtingin ko sa kaniya, may hawak siyang tubigan.

"Jogging lang ako saglit," paalam niya. Kumunot ang noo ko nang mapansing pilit niyang pinagtatagpo ang mga mata namin.

"Okay," I replied instead of telling him that I don't care what he's going to do and that he didn't have to tell me. Naubos yata ng pag-iyak ang energy ko para sa buong araw.

"Babalik ako agad," he added. Hindi ko na siya nilingon at tumango na lang. I immediately opened one of my bookmarked websites para lang magmukha akong may ginagawa dahil baka makita niyang nagkukunwari lang ako.

I could still see him from the side of my eyes, so I lifted my head to look at him. "Okay, Ryo. You can go," I said. He might have not noticed that I nodded.

He clicked his tongue. His hand was heavy on top of my head when he ruffled my hair. "Mabilis lang ako."

I combed my hair with my fingers after he left. I felt quite ashamed of what happened while I was busy scrolling through several tabs of job openings and kiddie games. Napapikit na lang ako at nagbuntonghininga.

What did just happen earlier? At bakit nga nasali si Talie sa usapan? What was I thinking? Why was I even crying and screaming at him like that? I could just flick a switch and forget about that pero hangga't hindi ako sigurado kung makalilimutan ba iyon ni Ryo ay hindi ko magagawa. I had always been in control of my emotions. I swear! I'm never letting my pregnancy ruin it for me.

Fortunately, the games I found kept me busy and distracted. Ilang saglit lang, tumawag si Nanay para mangumusta. I could sense her disappointment because I couldn't go home again for New Year. Five minutes din yata siyang naglitanya tungkol sa perang ipinadala ko sa kanila. I asked Ryo to take care of it for me because my parents were never fond of banking, so kailangang ipadala talaga nang mahahawakan nila mismo ang pera.

"'Nay, five thou lang 'yan. Maliit pa nga 'yan. Ubos 'yan sa handa n'yo," I said to calm her down. I wanted to send them much more, but I knew there might be a chance that they would return the money to me if ever, kaya hindi ko ginawa.

"Anong lima? Kinse mil ang tinanggap ng tatay mo!" she said, stopping me from making burgers on the kiddie game I was playing.

I was sure that I only transferred five thousand to Ryo's bank account. Kung kinse man iyon, mauubos n'on ang laman ng account ko.

Nahirapan ako kung paano ko iyon ilulusot. Ryo and I broke up, so if I would mention his name, even just once, babahain ako ng tanong ni Nanay at hindi pa ako handa. I ended up acting na nawawala ang signal niya at mabilis kong pinatay ang tawag. I started sweating on my forehead when she called again. Pinatapos ko muna iyon sa pagri-ring at mabilis na pinatay ang phone ko.

I was supposed to go back to what I was doing when Ryo's phone lit up. I know I should have not even dared to look at it, but my curiosity kept on bugging me. Lalo na noong umilaw ulit iyon. I looked behind me to see if Ryo's already here. Baka kasi mahuli niya ako.

Inisod ko ang wallet niya at maingat na pinindot ang home button. His phone lit up, and I saw Natalie's full name on the notifications bar. The first one was a good morning text with a bunch of annoying emojis, and the next was an invitation for lunch later. I was about to lock his phone when another text from her came in. She was asking if Ryo would be free tomorrow for the New Year's Eve celebration.

Kating-kati akong buksan ang phone niya. Madalas pa ba silang mag-usap ni Talie? How often? Do they do this lunch thingy on a regular basis? Panay ang lingon ko sa may likuran para i-check kung nakabalik na ba si Ryo. I sighed and mentally slapped myself. Ngayon lang ito. Hindi naman niya malalaman.

His phone's locked with a four-digit password. I tried his birthday, but it didn't work. I tried four zeroes pero hindi rin gumana. I tried Tita's birthday and Talie's birthday pero hindi rin gumana. I took one last glance behind me to check for any traces of Ryo before taking a deep breath.

Kahit na feeling ko, hindi, I tried my birthday. Napamura ako nang magkamali pa ako ng type. Sa kasunod ay binagalan ko ang pagtipa sa birthday ko para makasiguradong hindi magkakamali.

It didn't work.

"Shit," I muttered when his phone was disabled for one minute. I was reminded of why I shouldn't have tried to open his phone in the first place. Privacy. At akala ko ba ay wala akong pakialam? So what? He has his own life. Get a grip, Frankie.

Ang panalangin ko lang ay hindi dumating si Ryo sa loob ng isang minuto. Hindi ako mapakali at panay ang check kung okay na ba ang phone niya. Thankfully, wala pa si Ryo nang matapos ang isang minuto. I leaned back on the couch and sighed out of relief.

No matter how hard I tried to not let Talie get into me, I kept on failing. Wala na nga sa laptop screen ko ang atensiyon ko kundi nasa phone na ni Ryo na nananahimik sa mesa. I kept on imagining scenarios. Paano kung tumawag si Talie? Puwede ko bang sagutin? Does Talie have a single idea that I'm currently staying here with Ryo? And that I'm pregnant?

When Ryo came back, hindi siya sa akin dumeretso kundi sa taas. I was turning off my laptop when he came back down, his hair wet and he was in new clothes. Napatagal yata ang tingin ko sa kaniya dahil bumagal siya sa paglalakad at tinaasan ako ng kilay.

"Bakit ka nakasimangot?" he asked before sitting beside me.

Hindi ako kumibo at umisod nang kaunti palayo. He picked up the remote control and turned the TV on. I felt like my heart was on my throat when he picked up his phone. Umiwas agad ako ng tingin at ipinatong ang laptop sa mesa. I felt the sudden need to get out of the living room.

"Nagseselos ka ba?" biglaan niyang tanong kaya natigilan ako. Inangat niya ang tingin sa akin habang hawak pa rin ang phone. What? Talagang pinagsuspetsahan niyang tiningnan ko ang phone niya? Am I that obvious?

"We're exes. Para namang hindi mo 'ko kilala, hindi ako selosa," I replied.

Nagtagal ang tingin niya sa akin at kinalaunan, pakiramdam ko'y nang-iinis na ang paraan ng pagtingin niya. I bit the insides of my cheeks as the replay of what happened earlier during breakfast flashed in my mind. That was such a wrong move. Now he has something to use against me.

"Hindi nga naman talaga, 'no?" he said. But I'm not dumb not to notice the hint of sarcasm there.

Instead of going out, I found myself sitting back on my spot. "Why? You're going?" hindi ko napigilang tanong. I mean, it's alright with me. Kaya ko namang mag-isa.

"Huh? Saan ako pupunta?" tanong ni Ryo at hindi nakatakas sa paningin ko na bahagya siyang napangisi. Hinagip ko ang isang unan at niyakap. Pinipilit niyang magmukhang seryoso at tumikhim pa pero nagmumukha lang siyang tanga kapipigil ng ngiti.

"Aren't you going somewhere with Talie?" My question came out muffled after burying half of my face in the pillow.

Nanghaba ang nguso niya at alam kong pigil na pigil siya sa ngiti niya. Ewan ko na lang kung saan siya napapangiti. Napangibit ako nang maisip na baka dahil narinig niya ang pangalan ni Talie kaya siya ganiyan. Ang corny.

"Pa'no mo nalaman? Binasa mo text niya?" he asked.

"So pupunta ka nga?" tanong ko pabalik.

His lips curved an amused smile. "Ako'ng naunang magtanong, 'wag kang madaya."

I pursed my lips. Hindi ko napigilang mapasimangot. I couldn't keep on slipping all the time because he'd have more things to use against me, and I don't like that. "Nabasa ko, hindi ko binasa," depensa ko sa sarili.

"A, okay." Tumango-tango siya. "Nabasa mo lang pala. Hindi mo binasa," he repeated in a mocking manner.

"So, pupunta ka nga?" tanong ko ulit. I averted my gaze when he pouted. My hormones love him too much that he's starting to look like a walking temptation.

"Bakit? Nando'n ka ba?" he asked which made my brows furrow. Siyempre, wala ako roon! Hindi naman ako invited. At kung isasama niya naman ako, para saan? Para mainis ako lalo kay Talie?

"What?"

"Wala ka ro'n, 'di ba?"

Napaayos ako ng upo. "Wala," inis kong sagot dahil obvious naman na iyon, tinatanong pa niya.

"Wala ka naman do'n e, so bakit pa ako pupunta?"

My reflexes came in, and I slapped him with the pillow I was holding. Malakas siyang nagreklamo pero napatawa rin naman. Paulit-ulit ko siyang hinampas hanggang sa mapagod ako bago nagmamadaling lumabas.

I stretched my neck before pulling my hair up in a bun. I fanned myself with my palm. I looked up at the sky. The clouds were blocking the sun kaya hindi naman masyadong mainit, pero sobrang init ng pakiramdam ng mukha ko.

Seriously, Frankie, tinatablan ka pa sa kagagano'n ni Ryo? Hindi pa ba talaga ako nagsasawa sa apat na taong ka-cheesy-han niya? Maybe I need to get myself checked.

* * *

"Pst."

Napairap ako agad. Ilang saglit lang, nasa tabi ko na siya. Ibinaba niya sa mesa ang plastik ng mga prutas na bilog. I saw him talking to his family a while ago. Dinig ko rin na miss na miss na siya ni Tita. Medyo na-guilty tuloy ako dahil pakiramdam ko, inagaw ko ang anak niya sa kaniya.

"Ryo, isa," I warned him when he occupied the chair beside me. I even showed him the knife I was holding. May peeler sila pero mas gusto kong kutsilyo ang gamit kaya iyon ang ginamit ko sa pagbabalat ng carrots. He said he wanted pansit bihon kaya iyon ang gagawin ko.

"Bakit na naman? Uupo lang ako e," aniya, bago napakamot sa batok.

At work, I was fond of using sticky notes for almost everything. In this case, feeling ko, may isang buong cartolina akong ipinaskil sa utak ko para hindi ko makalimutan na hindi talaga dapat kami nagiging masyadong malapit sa isa't isa.

Mahirap na.

"Tumawag si Tito Max," aniya. Dumampot siya ng orange at sinimulang balatan iyon. "He's asking if we want to spend the evening with them."

Napatigil ako sa pagbabalat. Okay lang naman, pero nakahihiya. I didn't want to deprive Ryo of bonding with his relatives, but he doesn't necessarily need to bring me with him every time. Okay lang naman sa akin kung mag-isa ako rito. I could always phone my parents.

"Okay lang if you want to go. I would be fine here alone," I told him.

He snorted loudly. "E di, 'wag na lang. Dito na lang tayong dalawa."

I lifted my gaze at him. "Sure ka? You can go, Ryo."

"Sure ako," sabi niya bago tumayo na may dalang isang apple. Hinugasan niya iyon sa lababo.

He went back beside me with a smaller knife and a bowl and started to peel and slice it.

Ibinaba ko muna ang kutsilyong hawak ko. I don't want to cage him here with me. Sure naman akong uuwi siya. What's twelve hours without him? Hindi naman siguro ako mapapahamak.

"You're okay with this? Hindi mo kasama family mo."

Ryo's close with his family, I know him. Kaya nga never kaming nag-celebrate ng Pasko at bagong taon nang magkasama dahil lagi niyang kasama ang pamilya niya. No matter how much of a busy man he is, he makes sure to be present at their family events, lalo na kapag birthday ni Tita at ni Raianne. Alam kong hindi ako makananakaw ng oras niya kapag busy siya sa ganoong bagay at hindi ko naman na sinubukang sumingit pa.

"Sa 'yo ba, okay lang?" tanong niya pabalik.

Hindi ako agad nakasagot. I mean, it would be much better if I were at home with my parents, pero wala rin naman ako masyadong reklamo na nandito ako. Plus, he provides all of my cravings and attends to my requests even if most of the time, he's annoying. Wala akong problema na nandito ako kasama siya pero hindi ko iyon masabi dahil baka baluktutin niya ang salita ko, at gamitin niya pa para sa ego niya at sabihing nag-e-enjoy akong kasama siya.

"Kung ano 'yang sagot mong hindi mo masabi, 'yan din sagot ko," he said after a few moments of silence, then he stood up.

Inagaw niya sa akin ang tinatrabaho ko at inilagay ang mangkok ng apple slices at orange sa tapat ko. "Ako na'ng magtutuloy, kumain ka na lang diyan."

Nasanay akong marami laging handa at maingay tuwing magba-bagong taon. Hindi naman sa nagrereklamo ako sa handa namin ni Ryo, naninibago lang talaga ako. Kagaya ng sabi niya, hindi nga siya umalis kahapon at ngayon. I wonder if he told Talie that he wouldn't show up o hindi na lang niya ni-reply-an.

Nasanay rin akong maingay mag-celebrate. Kung hindi makina o busina ng motor, mga bata namang nag-iingay ang naririnig ko kapag ganitong oras. Sa salas ulit kami kumain habang nakabukas ang TV para sa countdown, at iyon lang ang tanging ingay na naririnig ko. But again, I'm not complaining. I'm still . . . happy.

A few more minutes before the New Year starts and my phone rang. Ganoon din ang kay Ryo. Tumayo muna siya bago sagutin ang tawag, which I think is from Tita dahil narinig ko ang malambing niyang pagtawag ng Mommy.

Halos hindi kami magkaintindihan ni Nanay sa telepono dahil sa ingay roon sa kanila at ngayon, totoong nagpuputol-putol na ang boses niya. Halos mabingi ako nang pumatak na ang alas-dose at tuluyan nang hindi ko marinig ang boses ni Nanay sa kabilang linya.

A few more minutes later, I ended the call. It was useless. I just texted her before replying to my workmates and my friends, lalo na si Cali na nagtatampo na dahil ilang minuto na mula noong message niya pero hindi ko pa siya nare-reply-an.

I stood up and went to the kitchen to put our used plates. Pinaaagusan ko iyon ng tubig nang may magbukas ng cupboard. I looked up and saw Ryo getting a box of wine from there. He looked down at me and turned off the sink.

"'Wag mo nang ligpitin. Ako na riyan mamaya," aniya.

He pulled out the wine from the box. Nanonood lang naman ako dahil sure akong hindi niya ako pagbibigyan. He raised a brow at me when he caught me staring.

"'Di 'to puwede sa inyo ni baby. Titimplahan na lang kita ng gatas," aniya. Hinawakan ko lang ang bote ng wine no'ng bitiwan niya. At kung tingnan naman niya ako e parang kahit hawak lang ay bawal. I rolled my eyes at him. OA talaga.

"Hey, Ryo," tawag ko sa kaniya dahil hindi ko pa siya nababati. Saglit niya akong nilingon. I was about to speak when my phone rang.

Nate.

"Sagutin mo muna 'yan," aniya sa seryosong tono bago ilapag ang mug sa tapat ko. I watched as he picked up the bottle of wine and left me there without another word.

I answered Nate's call. The call didn't even reach a minute, fortunately. Bumati lang naman siya at saglit na nangumusta. I just hope it didn't seem like I wanted to end the call so badly. I didn't want to sound rude, but I wanted to go upstairs already.

I checked outside and the living room first to see if Ryo's still downstairs before heading up. Wala siya sa kuwarto ko at naabutan kong bukas ang kuwarto nina Tita kaya kahit nag-aalangan, doon ako dumeretso. I saw Ryo through the glass door leading to the balcony, downing the bottle of wine as if it were water.

I slid the door open and his eyes immediately flew to my direction. Itinuro niya ang langit kaya napatingala ako roon. From afar, faint specks of fireworks could be seen. Masyado iyong malayo kaya hindi namin gaanong dinig.

"Happy New Year," bati ko sa kaniya. I blew the steam out of my mug and stole a quick gaze from him. He swigged from his bottle of wine instead of responding.

Parehas kaming natahimik. Hindi rin naman siyang obligadong batiin ako pabalik at hindi ko na iyon ginawang big deal.

"Frankie," he called me as I was finishing my mug of milk.

I wiped my mouth with the back of my palm before raising my eyebrows at him, but he didn't say a word. Nanatili lang siyang nakatitig at nanatili akong naghihintay sa sasabihin niya. I unconsciously gulped when he angled his face an inch closer. Parang may walang-awang pumipiga sa puso ko at hindi ako titigilan hangga't hindi iyon sumasabog.

His breath felt warm against my cheeks—the scent of wine quickly crept in my system. His soft, cold kiss on my cheek made my heart race wildly, no matter how much I told it to stop from feeling things. My knees felt like they turned into jellies, and I had to tighten my hold on the mug, or else, it would slip from my hold and break.

"Happy New Year, Franceska," he whispered.

The hair on my nape felt like they were shaken awake. I told myself not to look towards his direction. He was too close, and I did the exact opposite.

I found him opening his mouth and closing it again, like he had something more to say . . . but the words just wouldn't leave his mouth.