track #05 in tristan william hale

aespa // savage

LAINE CRACKS us a guilty, tight-lipped smile before retreating up the stairs to her room, and I can't help but notice the gleaming amethyst ring now adorned on her finger, shining rays of different colors. It looks so... happy. Doesn't fit how its supposed owner is dead.

The ring fits her perfectly, but I find my heart burning in rage at how Aiden could just give the promise ring to Laine so easily – especially since he's still mourning Anson. Is he just trying to drown himself of his responsibilities, and using Laine as a rebound? She doesn't deserve that, and neither does he. Since Anson meant so much to him, shouldn't he have held on to the ring instead? As a reminder of their eternal love that unfortunately couldn't last? The only thing I know is that he should definitely not have given it to someone else.

Both of us were hurting, but I simply couldn't take Aiden's attitude any longer. He was wallowing in his grief and pain, but brushing it off like it was nothing. My heart hurt for him, but more so for Anson. How could he just do that when he knew the whole house was aching for Cadence's loss, as well as I, for my sister's?

***

I turn, stomping up the stairs to the third floor – in search of someone whom I can tell my troubles to. I knock on that old grey door at the end of the hallway, but instead am answered by Laine, with her hair down. I get another glimpse at the shimmering ring reflecting the light from the mirror, and immediately slam the door in her face, ignoring the worried calls of my name.

I don't get far, though, because halfway up the next flight of the stairs, I collapse onto the carpeted steps. I don't know what I expected, going to Laine's room. Was I just hoping that Cadence would appear and comfort me, or was I just convincing myself Aiden wouldn't possibly do such a thing to his dead girlfriend? Well, at the end, everything proved to be fake. Cadence was gone, dead – and my best friend had actually had the audacity to give the promise of he and Anson's love to an outsider after her death.

Just at this moment, Gwyneth comes walking up the stairs and frowns at me just lying down, collapsed, rethinking life. She raises an eyebrow but helps me up nonetheless. "Don't ask-" I repeat, like before, but I partially expect her to ask anyway, because I know she cares about me.

I guess today's an exception for everything, but this is one of the good exceptions. "Good night, Trissy," she says softly, helping me sit down on the stair steps, turning to go back to her icy blue door, where I know Angela is sitting, waiting for her daughter to come in and talk about the mentally draining day.

Why are all my friends changing? I think to myself, as I sit with one hand under my chin. Kunboss was insensitive to others' feelings, but too sensitive to his own. Aiden, it seemed, had tried to trick himself into neglecting his girlfriend's death.

 Cadence, in her years of life, had become more open to me, yet she had sacrificed herself and her own happiness for all of us. To keep all the selfish, stupid people happy – yet she was one of the ones who truly deserved happiness. And I was happy that she had found inner peace in herself. 

Eunice was pretty much the same, but she was still detached. She left the house for so much time every day. 

Zoey – she was the only one who had truly never changed over the years. Still so nice, so caring, even when she had an uncontrollable crush of her own, on an uncontrollable boy. That made me respect her even more.

Gwyneth was a very, very long story. One look at her, you'd think she was the neighbourhood 'nice girl', and had good grades in school. But that was all her appearance would tell about her. But when you knew what she was going through, and what she had on her shoulders, you understood not to judge her by what you saw on the surface. She was a strong girl – and she had my respect for giving me the space not everyone knew I needed.

"Hey, Tris," Aiden says, knocking all the thoughts out of my head. I stand, turning around, and see him standing in all his glory at the top of this flight of stairs, his green door left ajar.

I narrow my eyes at him, "What do you want?" I snap, feeling all the light blue calmness I previously had seep out of my veins and be replaced with the red of rage, anger, and hate.

"Just wanted to check you're okay," he replies effortlessly and emotionlessly. "You know, with everything that's been going on."

"Can you stop being two-faced?" I yell, and he stares at me. "One second you're all 'Anson, Anson,' and the next you're pretending nothing's going on. I'd really love for you to stop wallowing, and look around the house. Everyone here is hurting, Aiden. You're just cutting into the skin and flesh even more."

Aiden's eyes bulge out of his head more than I thought was possible. "What do you mean?" he drags out his sentences. "Do you not think I'm hurting, too?"

"Well, by the looks of it, no," I say, looking back at him vacantly.

"No-" he starts, but I cut him off.

"I'M FED UP WITH YOU, AIDEN!" I scream exasperatedly. "It- it's just that if you really loved Anson, you wouldn't have given that goddamn stupid ring to someone else. If you really treasure her and the love you two had."

"I do love Anson," he answers with absolutely no feelings in his voice at all – I didn't know it was possible and my best friend was able to become an emotionless robot.

"You don't," I say, my eyes glazed over. "Then explain! EXPLAIN WHY YOU'RE ACTING LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. EXPLAIN WHY YOU GAVE THAT FREAKING PROMISE RING TO LAINE."

The stairway stays silent. "That's right. You can't. You not being able to feel emotions doesn't mean we can't, too. Please have some empathy. I'm honestly fed up with you pretending one second that you cared about her so much. If you loved her, Laine wouldn't be wearing a giant purple diamond on her finger. The diamond you said Anson would have loved. And the next second, you're just acting like nothing is wrong with you. Well, I'm telling you, something's wrong with your brain," I snap sharply, not even giving what I say a thought when he flinches at my words. "Stop your wallowing, Aiden. You don't know who's hurting more than you."

"Yeah, yeah, we all know Ava died. We all know your freaking SISTER died. SO WHAT? Cady died, Anson died too. Everyone copes differently," he shrugs it off, and I feel my whole body starting to burn.

"YOU'RE NOT COPING!" I howl, feeling my red contrasted with blue heating up my cheeks. "You didn't even care about Anson. All your 'acts of service' meant nothing, Aiden. Nothing. It was just you, pursuing a pretty girl. I should have known, seeing from what you were like. And you're still staying silent. Well, unlike you, I actually cared about my sister, and even Cady – so you have no right to talk to me, or about them – like that. Why have you changed, Aiden?"

"What's happening here?" the person I want to see or hear least pipes up, and I turn around to see Laine halfway up the stairs. "I heard what you said about Aiden, Tris."

"IT'S PAST MIDNIGHT!" I scream. "Leave me alone, Laine."

Laine only heads further up the stairs to meet us. "You're wrong about that. Aiden took Anson in when she was hurting and suffering the most. She was on the brink of depression. Starting to date him improved her condition a lot. I can testify as her best friend."

"IF YOU TOOK THE RING THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERS FROM HER BOYFRIEND, WHAT KIND OF A BEST FRIEND ARE YOU?" I yell with sarcasm in my voice, and huff. "Listen, I don't need an explanation from any of you two. You guys should just go. Leave me alone. I don't want to see you guys ever again. I'm so fed up with you both."

Laine shrugs like 'it's none of my business', and turns, heading back down the stairs to her room. Cady's room. Aiden just gives me a pointed glare, slamming the green door behind him. Probably to unleash one of his two personalities – either to cry over Anson or laugh about her loss.

Why did he think it was okay to do that?

I know in the wee hours of the morning – it's getting close to 1:30 – I should probably go to bed, but when I see Angela leaving Gwyneth's room, I make up my mind and get up, taking long strides towards the icy blue door at the end of the corridor, in search of one of the only people who's up at this hour – and will listen to everything I have to say.

– a/n : HI YES MY PROMISED UPDATE WOOHOO twice in a week = a rarity for gwyn because she is sleep deprived and wants to slaughter chinese debate <3 hope you're having a nice Friday or whatever day it is wherever you are :)