track #01 in laine johanna whitlock

twice // missing u

THEY SAY a good friend is never truly gone – and that's exactly what I feel as I sit by Aiden's side, smiling, as he wipes his hair of the rain.

I understood what it was like to lose a friend, but not how it was like to lose a lover. I didn't understand the attraction Aiden and Anson felt for each other – but I did understand that they truly treasured each other a lot, solely from our conversations that were highly centred around the topic. I was like the middleman for both of them. All I did for years was listen to them talk about how the other was so beautiful both inside and out. My heart hurt for both of them, so intensely, that I didn't even know pain anymore.

I'd always believed that Anson and Aiden belonged together – even if they came from different worlds. Aiden was the jock a lot of people liked, who enjoyed football and other sports; Anson was the quiet but popular one who'd play the violin and do choir. I only met Aiden because we were in the same classes for a year, and also since I was in the sports electives. I met Anson in orchestra and also through the weekly violin classes we'd take together.

At seven years old, Anson had already become my best friend, and I was pretty close to Aiden too – but I didn't feel anything when Aiden texted me the news that she was gone. I guess it never really sunk in because I never saw the person put the gun to her head, never witnessed the life draining from her eyes as he described to me with so much detail, never actually heard the heart monitor beep in futile attempt to save her.

Something people didn't know about Anson was that her parents were divorced. Beneath that popular, smiley shell, she was a fragile, small soul. Her dad had long since left the Adelaide Woods before she was born – her mother used to be my favourite whenever I'd go over to her house because I loved her cookies, but four years ago she'd changed for the worse. She was running a relationship with Anson's new stepdad and stepsister. They also had a little boy on the way.

Anson's stepdad was probably someone I'd despise for the rest of my life. He changed Anson's mom – she became more withdrawn, began displaying constant PDA, and no longer had the time to talk to Anson like she used to be able to. My cheery, bubbly friend was no longer like stated above; she had become sunken and was close to anxiety and depression.

I'd forever appreciate and look up to Aiden for taking Anson under his wing when her parents weren't able to do so. He still loved her – and vice versa – like the infatuated puppy he was a few years back; only now he was able to take action. He stood up to her mom and stepdad, and rejected her desperate stepsister. He had eyes for her and only her.

I knew that Aiden needed space right after the traumatizing event – and I knew that I had promised him space to mourn, but space wasn't something we could easily get in the lamp-lit parks of the Adelaide Woods which had recently been wrecked by Alistair James. "Come on," I say, tugging on his arm like when we used to be kids and I had to practically drag him away from staring at my pretty best friend because we were going to be late for class.

Aiden begrudgingly follows me into my car after some protesting – more like I drag him into the passenger seat, and I huff, out of breath, because you can't expect someone like Aiden to be as light as a feather. "Why can't we just walk home?" he complains, confused, and I start worrying if he has gotten access to wine somewhere. But this late into the night, most shops are closed, and I shake the thought off of my head, starting the engine.

"James exists, idiot," I exclaim exasperatedly over the whirring of gears as I adjust my seatbelt and push his already half-asleep body off of mine. "Our house moved places. You just didn't know."

To my surprise, Aiden doesn't nod off like I thought he would and instead springs fully awake as I pull out of the driveway and press the button to put the soundproof shields over the roof of the car. He stretches an arm out and clicks on the music player, which sends Taylor Swift songs blasting out of the radio immediately.

"What are you doing?" I ask and turn the music down – just a little – but he starts screaming to the music after all my attempts to stop him fail. And I realize – on the scarce empty highways of the Adelaide Woods, we can belt to my favourite songs and drown in our emotions anytime we like. It's well past midnight. Might as well enjoy the freedom that we've never truly gotten to have now.

So as the song 'Love Story' starts playing over the radio, both of us start yelling to the music at the same time – maybe a bit more emotional than it should've been. Myself, just happy that I can get somewhere to yell after being cooped in a tiny house with a super-loud brother – but I can tell it means so much more than just a song to Aiden from the tears running down his cheeks.

Marry me, Juliet, you'll never have to be alone

I love you and that's all I really know

I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress

Was it something he had wanted to say to Anson, perhaps, but never got the chance to? I pause at the next line for some dramatic effect, but he continues without caring for the world.

It's a love story, baby just say... yes.

She would've answered that. She'd have told him yes. I can imagine the smile on her face as she replies, the excitement in her voice as she runs up to me and shows me her ring. Heck, I can even imagine what kind of ring he'd have picked out for her.

Something reflected against the glass of my car's window catches my attention as the radio moves on to the next song, 'You Belong With Me'.

I notice Aiden's wearing a new necklace that he hasn't worn before – but that's not the thing that catches my eye because he's always wearing stuff that his mom tells him to wear. It's the shimmering purple amethyst looped onto it. For a fact, Aiden's mom never wears purple – and this amethyst is the diamond on the exact ring I'd envisioned that Anson would have loved.

I stop the car at the light, waiting until Aiden leans out the window to see where we are, to carefully and meticulously examine the diamond looped onto his necklace – until I realize it's a ring, and I put my hand to my mouth in realization of what this means. He had lost way more than just a girlfriend.

And you've got a smile

That can light up this whole town

Haven't seen it in a while, Aiden belts out the window, until he comes to the realization that he's not supposed to be singing into an open street, and retreats back into the car, just as I frantically whip my head away to pretend I haven't been looking at the ring.

"Too late, Laine," he says, and I sigh in defeat because he's noticed. Aiden's fingers trace the loop of the ring around the necklace, and with one fluid motion, he detaches it. For some bad reason, this makes my heart speed up, because what if he's going to throw it out the window?

"You.. you were going to propose to her?" I ask tentatively, and he throws the ring into the air, catching it just a second later, but just that also makes my heart jump. "Don't do that," I scold, slapping him playfully.

He contemplates it before handing the ring over to me, and I take it, carefully studying it. "It was a promise ring. You- you have it, Laine. As a promise that I won't do anything outrageous, and will live for Anson. Now take it before I regret it because that ring was expensive."

"Are you sure?" I ask, turning the ring over in my hand. "It- she meant a lot to you."

"This ring no longer has any emotional value to me," he answers blankly as I still stare at the precious amethyst that could've belonged to my dead best friend. "Better you have it than it be a waste."

I slip the ring onto my finger – not because I belong to Aiden, and I don't – but as a constant reminder that Anson; and Cadence and Rylie; will live on in me forever. "Glad you can finally move on," I smile before starting to drive again as the light turns green. But I take one look at his stone-hard face, and frown.

The silent tears streaming down his cheeks prove that he's not ready – and will never be. This only signifies that he's trying to deny her passing.

"Hey, y'all done yet?" Gwyneth bangs on the car door – I didn't even realize we were already home. "Why were you guys yelling so loud I could hear you like from a street away?"

"Uh, we were singing Taylor..?" I offer, and she scoffs but pulls both Aiden and I into a hug. If she knew anything about the amethyst previously on Aiden's necklace, she doesn't say a word about the ring now sitting on my middle finger.

– a/n : i hope you loved this wholesome bonus chapter; i'm so happy that i had more time to write this week and therefore could afford to put one more chapter out for you guys :) lmk what you thought in the comments below, next update will be on Friday!