track #03 in tristan william hale

taylor swift // starlight

AS THE day progresses, I meet up with Ava again at the café, where we work in peace.

"You should connect your phone to my database," I say. "It's safer this way. Atlas taught me."

Ava nods and hands me her phone before turning back to her laptop, still trying to enter Byrok's system.

I take one look at my twin sister's accidentally unlocked phone and frown.

avaisthebetterhale: jason what's going on? you've been acting weird lately. please don't tell me that it's that.

jazon_nick: what do you mean?

avaisthebetterhale: stop pretending.

jazon_nick: WHAT?

avaisthebetterhale: are you cheating on me?

jazon_nick: of course not, i love you baby

avaisthebetterhale: i can't believe you jason, and i can't believe myself too. i know what you're doing.

jazon_nick: no-

avaisthebetterhale: i don't want any explanations. get the heck away from me.

jazon_nick: it's not like that

avaisthebetterhale: go away jason. bye.

jazon_nick: i'm not cheating i promise ily remember?

read by avaisthebetterhale.

I inadvertently let out a gasp; Ava turns to me and snatches the phone out of my hands, staring wide-eyed at the still open Instagram chat.

"He's cheating on you?"

"Why are you snooping into others' business?" my sister snaps, no sign of pain evident in her eyes. "I opened it so you could connect it to your stupid database, not so you could read into my messages. Looks like it's all an excuse."

My eyebrows narrow in rage. "Excuse me? Firstly, why didn't you even tell me about this? Secondly, I didn't even mean to. I'll connect it to the database now. It's for your own good, Va."

She shakes her head, putting her phone deep into her purse. "Nuh-uh. You two are the same – cheating, stupid bastards."

"Byrok, Ava. Byrok. If you don't connect it to the World Database, they'll track us," I say desperately, just hoping my sister will have some common sense.

My sister takes a sip of her frappuccino and puckers her lips. "Not taking any more of your nonsense, Tristan. All an excuse."

I give up. Ava's always been like this – she won't back down whenever she thinks she's right. I let out a sigh of defeat and sink deep into my chair, continuing to type on my keyboard.

Ava looks at me pointedly, as if to prove something. Then, she picks up her laptop and moves to another spot in the café, ignoring me completely.

Disappointment overwhelms me as Ava refuses to make eye contact, and I take my own phone out of my bag.

tristhebetterhale: why didn't you tell me va

avaisthebetterhale: what do you think you dumbass

tristhebetterhale: idk what's going on between us nowadays

avaisthebetterhale: i have a life, tristan. stop snooping. i don't want to talk about it. leave. me. alone.

tristhebetterhale: i only wanted the best for you

seen by avaisthebetterhale.

I groan. Jason was never that proper growing up. I should have expected this – and warned Ava in time. I take my own laptop as well as the rest of Ava's things, and move towards my twin's table, settling down on a chair and stroking the back of her palm to calm her down.

Ava scoffs, hissing through her teeth. "I said, go away."

"I'm your brother, Ava. I'm your twin. Why can't you just tell me everything like we used to do?" I ask softly, trying my best to control the barricade of tears making its way down my chest and holding in a wretched sob. "I'm supposed to be here for you."

"Like how?" my sister screams, successfully diverting everyone's attention towards us. Ava slams her hand against the table, pushing the chair to the floor with a huge bang, before grabbing her purse and storming away.

I follow, but she shoves me away before I can even say anything.

My twin's jaw is clenched. "Get out of my business, dear brother. What I don't want to share has nothing at all to do with you." A great tremor overtakes her before she stomps out of the café, and I quickly run after her, catching up, but not talking to her.

We walk side by side through the busy streets, Ava not once acknowledging me; and me telling myself it's not worth it to feel hurt.

Suddenly, a horn honks in the distance, and I only see a black car hastily approaching, not even watching out for passersby. People yell and shove each other, trying to get out of its way; but the car only has one target – me.

When I realize it, it's already too late. It's too close to do anything; might as well let my twin know I'm treasuring her till my last moments. With a trembling body, I push Ava as far away from me as I can in an attempt to protect her, closing my eyes and letting the darkness take me.

***

I brace myself for the impact.

A second passes by, then five, then ten. I open my eyes.

The last thing I see before I let out a high-pitched wail is Ava flinging herself in front of me, and the black car crashing straight into my twin sister's body.

"Va!" I yell, allowing myself to crumple to the ground in a dishevelled heap, letting my grief pour out in a flood of uncontrollable tears.

Footsteps hurriedly approach, and I look up to see Jason – the cheating bastard – rushing towards my twin sister that I tried, but miserably failed, to protect with my life.

He crouches down next to Ava, fake sympathy in his eyes, and turns to me, hissing with rage. "What the hell do you think you're doing? Were you not supposed to protect your sister? It's a crosswalk. Pay attention," he taunts.

My veins throb and pulse as I drag my sentences. "What about you? Where were you when Ava was sad? WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING CHEATING?"

"I WASN'T!" he yells, and I feel all the adrenaline in my body coursing up as the sirens of an ambulance ring a few streets away, pushing myself away from the ground and onto my feet again.

"ARE YOU SURE?" I roar. It felt like the whole street was closing upon me. I was growing larger and larger by the second, expanding with rage. If I didn't get myself under control, I'd explode and take out everything around me.

I couldn't.

"YOU CHEATING SCUMBAG," I scream, gathering my fingers into a fist and hurling it straight at his face. "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO MY SISTER."

Everything disappeared until all I saw was a large red ball of fury and rage. "Go away, Jason Nicholas Chrysallis," I spit venomously, shoving my finger against his chest. "You don't deserve Ava."

"I love her," he deadpans, and I scoff. "I love her more than you do. Evident from the fact that you weren't even paying attention to your own twin sister."

A muffled, sliver of a voice comes from out of nowhere.

"Hey."

Jason and I both immediately crouch down to Ava's level, and I exasperatedly shove him away. "No one wants to talk to you anymore after you cheated."

He chuckles. "Let's see."

"Tris?" my sister whispers, and this time, I chuckle victoriously, and Jason moves away in defeat.

"I'm sorry."

A tear was forming in my eye, but I wasn't about to let it fall.

"I love you, Tristan. I hope you remember that."

I drain the siren sounds out. The drops of grief – the drops of losing a part of my own soul – fill my eyes.

Ava grips harder onto my already cold hand. I knew the ambulance wouldn't come in time. It would be too late.

My assumptions proved to be correct.

By the time the red and blue flashing lights appeared on this street, my twin sister had already taken her last breath and departed from the world she was too kind, too innocent, to exist in.

Everything I blamed her for... it was the other way around. All our lives, I had been the indifferent one – Ava just couldn't express her feelings like I was used to.

I was beginning to think Jason was the right one after all.

***

I let the tears drown me of my sorrows as Ava's limp body is lifted into the ambulance; and Jason faces me with the audacity to even look at my dead sister and cry.

"Go away, you weasel," I say. "You don't deserve any of those tears. I hope you know that."

"Va wouldn't have approved of her stupid brother," he remarks, voice dripping with fake empathy. "We were going to get married," he says, lacing feigned sadness into his words.

The world was closing around me once again – this time, an even larger explosion was coming, and I didn't plan to control or stop it.

"SHUT UP. I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN CALL HER VA." I yell, my eyes shooting lasers. "You cheated on her. Don't you even dare to say you would get married."

Jason chuckles. "We were going to have kids. And you ruined it."

My face burns. "Go to hell."

"Ava was pregnant," he says.

I shove him off the street, internally hoping a car would come and crash into him at this very moment. "First, you impregnate my sister, then you cheat on her?" I shout. "Keep dreaming impossible dreams, Chrysallis."

"It was going to be a happy family," he utters.

"Nonsense," I spit. "Go away. Get the hell away from me."

And so, as Jason disappears into the brightness of the still lively streets, I sink to my knees, mourning the loss of my dead, pregnant, sister.

The memories dissolve into starlight as she watches over and protects me from far away in the stars – and I no longer doubt if Ava loves me or cares about me.

She did. She doesn't anymore – because she's dead – and I played a part in it.

– a/n: EMOTIONAL TURMOIL! what do you think? i'm so, so sorry if this chapter made anyone sad or i didn't put a tw :( i absolutely love how i worded this chapter :)