27th February 2021

My hands strummed a few random chords on my guitar, trying to capture the tune in my head. I played a few more chords, the start of a rhythm coming to me. It was incomplete, only a handful of notes thrown together, but it was something.

I scribbled them down in my notebook, placing the pencil back behind my ear. I focused on the way they sounded, sounding them out slowly and then in quick concession, trying to tease the next part of the song from my brain.

It was no good, though. A song could never be forced. It was a rare type of unicorn that would only reveal itself in its own time. No amount of goading would make it work, no matter how long I spent there trying to grasp it.

I placed my hand flat against the fretboard, letting the guitar rest on my knees. I stretched out my fingers, hearing the joints pop as I cracked my knuckles.

"You know Jaxon hates you doing that."

I griped the guitar quickly before it could slip from my lap as I jumped at the sound of Tori's voice.

"Jesus, give a man some warning next time." I placed a hand over my beating heart as he took a seat opposite me, and Teddy came and sat by my feet.

I had no clue how long he'd been standing there watching me. Despite his large build, he had the uncanny ability of moving silently. It could be particularly unnerving if you weren't expecting him to pop up.

"Sorry," he said, not sounding the least bit, a smirk clear in his voice.

He always found it funny to see how people reacted to him. I was his usual target because apparently I reacted the best - whatever that meant.

"S'okay, just didn't hear you, that's all." As if he didn't know. "Where's Jaxon and Hazel?"

"I left them with their anime marathon." He rolled his eyes, and I chuckled.

It was Jaxon and Hazel's usual way to relax and unwind together. Unfortunately, Tori was not as enamoured with the crazy Japanese programs as his girlfriend.

His eyes roamed from my guitar to my scribbled notebook laying open beside me. There were more doodles and scratched out words than actual songs lyrics.

I resisted the urge to reach over and flip it shut.

Even after all I had achieved, I was still defensive of my songs. The bullies at school - the ones that had mocked me for the words I wrote - still got the better of me sometimes, no matter how much I had moved away from them.

Tori reached forward and closed the book with a sigh. "Do you remember the day we met?"

I blinked at the unusual topic.

Of course, I remembered. It wasn't a day I was likely to forget.

I was a scrawny fifteen-year-old heading home from highschool. A song had been worming its way through my brain all day, and I couldn't wait to get it down on paper. It was a desperate need not to lose any part of it. So I pulled out my notebook and sat down right on the sidewalk.

Too engrossed in my notebook to notice the footsteps approaching me. Maybe if I hadn't been, I would have escaped, but then I wouldn't have met Tori.

The bullies, the ones that made my school life a sort of living hell, found me. When they started tearing pages out of my notebook, I could feel each tear like it was physical wounds on my skin.

I remembered seeing red. Remembered being more angry than I ever had before.

There I was. My fifteen-year-old self pumped up on anger, forgetting for just a moment that my 112 pound body had no hope to win against the 160 pounds of muscle that stood in front of me. But I didn't care. I reached forward and slugged him right across the face, breaking his nose.

After that things got real quiet, real quick, and then sped up with alarming force. They tossed aside my notebook, and whilst two others held my hands back, my bully rained down a series of punches to my face and gut.

"If you hadn't pulled up, they would have beaten me black and blue," I said.

"If I remember right, you were already pretty battered by the time I got to you."

I nodded at the truth in his words. A split lip, black eye, bruised cheek were some of the most noticeable injuries, not to mention the volley of bruises across my stomach.

"You scared the crap out of those guys though when you got out of your car with that wrench." It was one of those moments when you wonder if your mind is playing tricks on you.

A furious Tori, running towards me and my bullies carrying a lug nut wrench in one hand. With his tribal tattoos on show around his wrists as well, he was was a sight that was liable to terrify most people - especially a handful of fifteen-year-old boys.

"You were in such a bad shape that I thought I'd have to take you to the hospital, but all you were worried about was your damned book. I remember thinking that there must have been something really special in there." Tori almost smiled. "And I was right."

My fifteen-year-old self almost died when Tori flipped through my notebook. It had terrified me. I worried that he would react the same way as my bullies. But in the end he just handed it back to me and asked if I was okay.

"You took me straight to see Hunter and Jaxon." I smiled as I remembered how he'd seemed so eager to get me to see his friends.

"You took ages to trust me enough to get in my car," Tori said in amusement.

I shrugged. "I'd just been beaten up and in my defence you are terrifying."

"But I knew there was something special. Hunter almost collapsed when he found out you could play piano and guitar." Tori chuckled at the memory.

"I didn't even realise I was auditioning until you guys asked me to join your band." I laughed at my naivety.

I was just awed that someone was taking an interest in my simple melodies and lyrics. Especially kids two years older than me.

"There was no way we were letting you get away, not with your skills." Tori looked at my guitar. "You were fifteen man, fifteen, and you could write this stuff that just stuck with people. For the first time it felt like we were more than just this garage band because of you."

I scoffed. "You guys were already pretty great."

It was weird to see Tori looking at me with such an awed look, bordering on incredulous.

"Genny St Clair was right, your music inspires people. I never tire of playing it because it connects things. That's why I know you can write this song."

He tapped his fingers on my notebook. "I heard what you were playing. It sounds good."

I fiddled with my hair. "It's not anything yet."

"But it could be. You've got something, I can feel it. Being at your parents helped."

The talk I'd had with Carmen had helped, though maybe not in the way she expected.

"I don't believe fate would have given me my time with Evie to take it away from me."

Tori looked up, his midnight hair blending perfectly against the dark skies.

"The world worked in mysterious ways to bring you and Evie together. I've never been prone to believing in the bigger picture but even I had to question what I believed after what happened."

I knew that while I had struggled with Evie's leaving, Tori had faced his own battles. He was raised to be part of the Kitanemuk tribe along with his parents, but like many modern native Americans he found himself disconnected from his ancestors' beliefs.

"I sometimes wonder if it gave you a glimpse. Maybe we all were, so we wouldn't waste the opportunity when it came around again. And if that's the case we'll all see Evie again." He finally said.

"Sometimes I want to kick myself for not making the most of my time with her."

"You mean you wish you hadn't been so caught up with Alexa?" Tori rolled his eyes and I sighed.

"If I knew what I know now, then I would have made the most of that week." I clenched my jaw.

"Hindsight, my friend. Nothing we can do now but hope. I know Hazel misses her as well."

Sometimes I couldn't wrap my head around it. "We only knew her a week. How could she have affected our lives so much?"

Tori smiled one of his rare smiles, the ones he only saved for Hazel and special occasions like Christmas.

"Some people just have that effect." He looked at me with his piercing brown eyes and I recognised the look on his face.

It was the same look on my face when I was fifteen and he saved me from my bullies. The same look when I met Hunter and Jaxon and they asked me to join the band. The look I had when I finally felt part of a group who understood and appreciated me.

A look that spoke of awe and gratitude. And yet I didn't think he was just talking about Evie anymore.

"Man, I'm blushing." I chuckled as he snorted.

"Don't go getting a big head now."

"Impossible when I got you and Jaxon to keep me humble."

I pushed his hand away as it went to tousle my curls.

"Just remember that you're not the same kid you were when you were fifteen. Your songs mean a lot to a lot of people. You got this." He bobbed his head and left me alone.

I leaned back and watched him leave. Tori wasn't one for talking, so something must have been on his mind to come up and speak to me like he did.

I petted Teddy's head and wondered what my fifteen-year-old self would have thought of my predicament. Would he have found it funny? Nauseating? Or would he have been as crushed but also hopeful as I was?

I couldn't answer. Because Tori was right.

I really wasn't that fifteen-year-old kid who was an easy target for bullies - who probably had their own crap going on. Isn't that what always creates a bully in the first place?

Instead, I had become someone I think he would have been proud of. And I owed a lot of that to the friends that had taken me under their wings but also to a week spent with a girl who broke down barriers quicker than people could erect them.

And one day I was going to find Evie and repay her for the inspiration she lit inside me.

I didn't know how, but if fate gave me my second chance, I wasn't going to waste it.