A/N: This chapter is still in Josh's P.O.V. I hope I'm doing a good job conveying his emotions and thinking...

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"So... Everything since I was seven...was... God. What was it?"

She went over to her wardrobe and pulled out a velvet wrapper she wrapped her body with. "A way to keep you attached to me. To mess with your thinking, psychologically."

The weight of her words made tears threaten to fall but I steeled myself knowing fully well that there was still more for me to hear. "What did they give you in return?"
In return for me being Karleen's driver, they promised to give me back Jenna, freedom and of course a place in their god forsaken kingdom.

She exhaled heavily. "A life I would own."

"How? Why? What's your business with them?"

"My grandfather was one of the people that started the eternity kingdom project. He passed his place on to my father. My father betrayed them and The Dread ordered them to wipe out my family. I survived it because... of... your mom..."her voice trailed off.

"And yet you paid my mother back this way?"

She shook her head and hand simultaneously. "No, J. Your mother was long gone, the Dread said it would be my way of compensating her--to take you in when you ran way. It was months after that I was told the assignment included me to do. Sleep. Sex. I mean, do all that..."she was choked with tears.

My blood boiled. "You accepted! You could have refused!"

"I could have. I could have... they'll kill me but what will become of you?!"

"They'll kill me too."

"They can't. You're an essential part of their plan. That's why they've staged and planned your life. They made me a medical doctor too."

My knees weakened and I felt myself go down till I fell on the floor. All these years, I've been living their life. My head ached and I wished that I was never born. I couldn't force words to come out of my mouth, I only watched her intensely. A part of me didn't blame her because I understood well. That's how I was tricked into being Karleen's driver before they told me the last part of my assignment. I couldn't refuse, I was going to lose too much. Yet, I tried all I could never to mess too much with her life.

Now, here I was on a beautiful Christmas day listening to the story of my life. I don't know how I feel but of a surety I felt how you would feel if you find out that the life you were supposedly living to the fullest was nothing but a blueprint of your enemies.

How would you feel because right now, words are not enough to explain what I feel.

"You stopped being a medical doctor," I said, bringing out a fact.

"I was tired of leading their operations. I was tired of killing in the name of a project," she stared egregiously at her hands, "I still see the blood on my hands. I was a fool."

Words of consolation evaded my weak mouth. "You're not different from them."

My words shocked her and she looked at me with pleading eyes. "I loved you, I still do. My emotions were true, I just didn't want to accept. I tried loving someone else but it never worked. I wanted you to have your own life."

I nodded. "Yes, you have true emotions somewhere hidden and buried in your heart never to resurface. You only made the negative things happen," I stood up, "enough of the stories that touch. Where's Karleen? I know you did something."

"I called the Dread that she's here. They have her. I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It'll only make matters worse. Do you know what they'll do to her?" I asked.

She blinked. "They can't do anything to her without you. I was... jealous."

I sighed and scratched my head. "You're old enough to control your jealousy. Deal with it, you've unconsciously become one of them, giving excuses for every bad thing you do. Then emotionally blackmailing your victim. Sarah, you lost yourself."

She walked towards me and tightened the wrapper around her chest. "Please..."

"For deliberately destroying my life or taking away my love? Let's just forget this conversation ever happened, that way I can still see you as human."

"Please..."

"Who's the Dread? I have to meet him. I know you know him."

She nodded. "I can't tell you. You won't be able to handle it."

I smiled sadly. "If I can handle this, i can handle anything but it's fine. It's my battle."

A tear slid from her left eye. "I just told you I love you. You'll still leave?"

"This is more than love!" I yelled angrily.
"It's more than if I leave or not!" I yelled louder.
"It's a time bomb," I said softly.

I exhaled and smiled, struggling for composure. "I'm leaving."

She held my left hand and for minutes, we stared at each other. "Do you remember what we shared? Can you sacrifice all that? Can you handle it?"

I tore the gaze. "You're getting it wrong again. It doesn't matter what we can handle. What we call our lives, is nothing but a movie that has been perfectly written by the Dread. Just that this movie will take a whole lifetime to watch and see if we altered it a bit..." I removed her hand from mine and walked away.

I wouldn't be deceived by her soft sobs and tears. It was time to break free. Karleen was waiting me wherever she was. Opening the door, I struggled for sight as I was blinded by my tears.

I met Kath halfway with a Christmas doll on her hand. Her eyes were tear stained.

"Kath..." I pulled her into a hug and crashed on her small frame.

"You'll be fine. You'll be fine. You will," she patted me and sniffed, "what are we going to do Joshua? What's the plan?"

I rested my full weight on her small body. "The plan is to not have a plan."

"What?!"

"That way, we'll be as reckless as they are. We'll achieve an equilibrium."

"Joshua? Merry Christmas!" She finally said when I released her to breathe, stretching the doll to me.

***
Valentina LhoneSatrrh.