I enjoyed being slim until I didn't enjoy it anymore.
I constantly hear thick skinned girls (chubby) or fat complain about their body size and how they are being body shammed because of what they look like.
My dear you won't understand the importance of having weight until someone insults you by saying you look like toothpick,ahh looks like the wind is gonna take you away with it, and being asked if you are sick.I mean what does being slim have to do with illness? The most annoying part is when you go to see your grandma then boom! she starts examining you and asking questions like;"Don't you eat enough,are you over thinking things?is it school stress?
Then she drags you close to her and says,"You don't have enough blood in your system"
My grandma has suddenly turned into a nurse.I salute Madam.
For the record,I'm not over thinking anything besides what's there to think about?
In my mind,I practically overthinking everything but that's not the reason why I'm slim.
I don't know why either.

My mum made me go through all the stress of thinking about why I'm slim because of this annoying insult she drops on me every single day.
I'm not exaggerating. Saying that insult is like an anthem she doesn't fail to resite from Monday to Sunday.
This is how she says it.
"It is your attitude that is making you slim, just look at your siblings.They look healthy and hearty but look at you, someone will think that you are an orphan.They don't know that it's your bad character that is making you finish like Gutsurin Kano."

What the hell is Gutsurin Kano?
The fact that I don't know what she describes me with is the most annoying part.
The worst part is when my siblings start using what she says to make jest of me.
What is my sin?
Being slim?
Do you even know that I started praying to God to help me gain weight?
It's not funny at all.
You know, the feeling when someone sees you together with your younger sister then starts to talk to you with less respect because you look smaller.
It's painful.
To cut the long story short,I started working out so as to gain weight in the right places.
It's better to say I look like Mirinda drink bottle than to compare me to toothpick.

Being a good person is hard.
There's this question I often hear people ask especially in movies.
"Why does God allow bad things to happen to good people?"
You might not have asked but I've asked that question a whole lot of times.
I don't understand it either.
I mean,does God punish people for other people's sin's?
It's just a question.
People believe in Fate and Karma.
If so, does it mean that some people's fate is just to be born, suffer then finally die?
So why is Karma repeatedly throwing bad stones at me when I'm not doing anything wrong?
I err,I know that but this Karma has got the wrong person.

I was lying on my bed, trying to get a sleep of which I was pretty sure would not come.
I rolled from one edge to another until the bed shit and pillows were lying on the floor.
I turned face up, watched the ceiling for Soo long until I realized that I was already counting the boxes on the white ceiling.

There are times you get very bored to an extent that nothing seems to suit your mood.
Music begins to sound like noise, reading makes your eyes teary, going online and realizing your friends are offline, not in the right state of mind to watch a movie, not allowed to go to a friend's house, don't feel like eating, don't want to talk to anyone, you are just there all alone in your misery.
I felt like crying but at that moment, even my tears turned their backs on me.
I was truly on my own and before you think about it,no I wasn't on my period.

I switched on my HP laptop and for the first time,I wasn't going to watch or play a game.
I went to Microsoft excel, and before I knew it,I was making a logo with my boyfriend's name on it.
I was shocked myself because I had never done such a thing infact,I had no idea how such things were done until I did it myself.
I put so much work into it until I got what I wanted.
I didn't enjoy doing it but it kept my mind off a lot of things so,I was happy about it.

My phone chimed….
I glanced to see who it was,lo and behold,
"Talk about the devil"
A message from Muse.

Muse: come online please.
Me:ok.

Muse:My love

Me:my heart beat

Muse: Apple of my eyes

Me:The sugar in my tea

Muse:my sugar plum

Me:my Lollipop

Muse:Baby

Me:Boo boo

Muse: Babe how far

Me: Boo I'm not fine

Muse: what's wrong

Me:I just need someone to hug me really tight right now.

Muse:is mummy not around?

Me: so you want my mum to start casting and binding this evening.

Muse:why would she do that.

Me:my mum is super dramatic.

Muse: If I were there,I'd hug you so tight till you plead to get released.

Me: unfortunately for me, your not here.

Muse:I feel bad.

Me:sad face emoji,me too.

Muse: have you eaten?

Me:I don't want to eat.

Muse:ok good night.

Me: really?

Muse:yes go and eat.

Me: but …….

Muse:call me when you're done eating.

He then goes offline.
I sigh,then get out of the room to the kitchen to get myself a plate of rice not because he asked me to, but because I find it very difficult to sleep without eating.
He knows very well that I will not call him.
I'm not a bad girlfriend, just that I'm not the calling type.
I don't enjoy phone calls at all except with one person of course but my big head won't let me do the calling.
I don't know how this guy keeps up with me but he's just the kind of guy that knows his girlfriend inside out. He's my ideal type of guy and I mean my spec.

Enough of my boyfriend already so for the record,I have a boyfriend of which my family know nothing about.

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