Anytime I seat to think of my mother's
illness,I feel lost and confused I mean how can an illness make someone change within a short period of time?I don't mean the physical change,I mean the change in character and conduct.
It's as if I met with a new person entirely or has it always been there?does it mean that the illness only unmasked the lioness in her?
Such questions randomly ran through my mind. The only wish I have Is that"I wish to have the mum I know back" The woman I'm living with,is definitely not my mum.

My entire life,I'd never imagined a situation where by I'd have to bath my mum because she could not do it herself.
My Dad had resumed Office, family and friends have left,mum's elder sister left too so it's just me.
Did I mention that my mum has a partial stroke affecting the right side of her body?

I did entirely everything without complaining besides what's there to complain about?This is my mum we're talking about.The woman who did everything for me since I was born until I could do them myself.At the end,I always get hurt you know why?
I'll tell you why…. because my mum finds everything and anything I do seriously offensive.
Yes and that's a complete turn off for me.
I tried being a perfectionist but nothing worked because I'm a damn human being not a robot.

Most days after my Dad leaves for work, I'm forced to sit and listen to my mum rant about how she was attacked by witches from my Dad's relative's,how that pastor prophesied that the people who want to kill her are the closest to her, this that and other things I refuse to listen to and I dare not talk back cause if I do,the neighborhood will hear us of which I know,they have heard enough already,I dare not go out too because she would follow me or call my Dad then begin to complain that I'm not taking care of her.

I don't know if anyone has been in these shoes.All I know is that this shoes don't fit at all.Its either too big or very small,it just won't fit but right now, this are my shoes.I knew the end of my mum's rant so well that I could tell when she was concluding.It always ends with me.what have I done?I don't know either.

My phone buzzed,
My Dad was calling
I picked up.

Me: Hello! good evening Daddy.
Dad: evening my dear how are you and how's your mum?
Me: we're doing just fine.
Dad:has she eaten?
Me:yes she has.
Dad:make sure she takes her medication at the right time okay,I won't be coming back home early so take care I'll be going to a friend's house to watch football see you later bye.

Great, just great I can smell the rat already.
This days, having a very comforting sleep is not my portion at all infact I and sleep have parted ways.I have forgotten what it feels like to sleep in peace.To be honest,I was afraid.I was afraid that my mum could hurt me in my sleep.Yes! it's that bad so bad that I feel insecure in my own house.

I switched the Television on to watch S.T Novela E. on star times.The movie playing at that moment was wild flower . Anyone who has watched that movie knows that there is a lot of shooting and killing in it.

"Ehen Ehen I said it,I said it hmmm children of nowadays.Instead of you to go and read your books or pray, you will just seat in front of the television and be watching nonsense.what are you learning from what you are watching?no just tell me.No wonder you want to kill because this is where you learn it from. These people you see are cultist yes!you are part of them that's why you enjoy what they are doing because you know each other.Foolish child.Yiu better switch this thing to Dove T.V or Emmanuel T.V and if you won't, just put off the television."

Do I need to tell you who's speaking?
I bet you know.

I switched it to Emmanuel T.V,took my phone and silently walked to my room but not without hearing my mum say the word " Devil".
It stinks so much.
Don't get me wrong.I love the things if God.
At this moment,I just couldn't be a hypocrite.I felt angry and I wasn't hiding it .

I heard whispers so I came close to the door to hear what was going on.
I could hear my Dad's voice.He didn't sound happy at all but if there's anything I learnt from my Dad,it's the attitude of being patient.
That thing sucks so bad.It takes a special kind of grace to be patient with someone who nags a lot.

"So you went to see your girlfriend right?
Is that why you were not picking my calls?
I'm talking to you won't you answer me?I'm going to deal with you and your girlfriend.Answer when I'm talking to you and stop behaving like you are deaf."

I stepped away from the door quietly until I was in my blanket.Truth be told,I didn't want to hear the rest of it and believe me,he didn't utter a word.

Claps for you Dad.

I was forced to sleep when my Father called my name.
I immediately switched to sleeping PRO MAX cause no I'm definitely not awake.
I have had enough dose for today.