Break up is seen as a phenomenon where by two people decide not to be together again, either as friends or lovers where by one among the two is hurt,both are hurt or none goes hurt because of a mutual understanding between the two parties.Either way, people split,they call each other ex…. for example, kunle is Serah's ex boyfriend. Some say the ex stands for expired.

The most painful part of a break up,is when it comes at an unexpected time….the time you are not ready at all.

I had broken up with my boyfriend times without number,then we made up all the time.funny right?
They say it is normal to have misunderstandings,to quarrel, to have a little fracas and then makeup over dinner or have a serious talk, apologize to each other then become all lovey dovy,that's love.
They say,"love without fight is hypocrisy in action."
Relationships are simply complicated especially when there is no mutual understanding between two people.

Girls of our days are much as confused as the boys.
When a girl is asked to describe the type of guy she wants, you will hear stuff like,"I want him to be tall, handsome,fair,he should have six packs, dimples, black curly hair, and he should have money". Really?
How about he should be God fearing, forgiving, patient, morally sound, faithful and supportive, not a sex/drug addict or even he should not be abusive?

For the boys, you will hear,"I want her to be pretty with big eyes,tall with full our glass figure eight shape, sweet voice and extremely long hair,classy with a touch of swag. Hmmm
How about I want her to be undoubtably intelligent, creative, patient, caring, softhearted,not a gold digger or a prostitute, drug free, sexually disease free with a Godly heart and acceptable character with humble charisma, comforting aura and irresistible swag?

Life might not be fair,we might not always have the things we want…that doesn't mean we should settle for less.
It's such a pity that men cannot spend a day with their wives because they are running away from nagging while women are in abusive marriages because they are not allowed to speak up.

It's such a shame that when men cheat,it's normal but when a woman cheats,she is pointed at, insulted and outrightly disrespected.The woman is not allowed to express her anger because she is a woman?we are all people with feelings so why is the woman treated unfairly?
I sound feminist but then,the woman has never been treated fairly any where in the world.

We live in a world where a girl is rapped but the case is closed because the man in question doesn't want to be disgraced,his fellow men are proudly in support,a world where a father sleeps with his daughter but cannot be exposed to avoid shame, where an Aunty,rapes a fifteen year old boy,pays him off ,then he comes back on his own because she pleases him.
Truth be told,our world is messed up big time though men are cheated a few times, women are cheated more, always at the recieving end then, expected to shut up.

Back to the subject matter.
I went to visit one Aunty in my area when she started telling me why she married her present husband.
She said,"I thank God that I have someone to call my husband o… hmm,my friend Is almost fourthy and it's now that she found someone to marry.If you see the man she is going to marry ehn? He is slim like mosquito, upon that,he is drunk and very very lazy, plus it's my friend that is going to pay for all bills and provide for the family.
I advised her to marry him like that ooo, time is not by our side.Half bread is better than none.Id rather have a poor wretched man for a husband than have none at all.
At least I'll be counted among married women."

She looked at me and said,
"My dear,if you get husband, marry ooo…rich or poor,educated or dump,lazy or hard working it doesn't matter just marry as long as he is a man."

The way I was looking at that Aunty ehn..ahh only God knows what I was thinking in my head, not to think of it I met her saying that she didn't eat anything since yesterday because they didn't have food to eat,she wasn't making efforts to start any business,she was just sitting there, talking rubbish in the name of advice.
I don't know whether it's hunger that's making her not to think straight.
Nawa oo

Why should I marry a man that can barely provide a day's meal? And then, the worst part is that she's pregnant.hmmm
Wahala be like what again….

I'm not saying that things may not change ooo.i'm not God but you see, discernment is a good thing.
There are men that when you see them, just know that when you marry such men, your suffering is for a life time except God blesses you with children that will wipe your tears away.

I and my boyfriend broke up.
We didn't break up because of the reasons given above.
We broke up because we had a deep adult discussion which did not end up in a fight but rather a mutual agreement.
This time around, the Breakup was and is final.

I was in school,I had finished writing the day's examination when I took my phone to check on social media for a little while before ghosting again because duh…it's exams season.

I ended up chatting with my boyfriend who was also online so,I told him about my exams and every other random thing when I popped the question..
"Will you marry me?"
Strange question for a girl to ask out of the blues right?
I wasn't asking him as in a proposal.I was asking him if we were dating to bring out something meaningful in the end or if we were just catching childish cruise…I'm not one to catch cruise or have fun.I am serious with my life and deliberate about everything I do.

He said " yes " and any other sweet answer you can think of.
Guy did not know that I was serious.

I asked again.
"How many years from now?"
I mean since we're both in school,I can wait for both of us to settle, especially for him as a man to settle down before we can officially be together.

Guess the reply…..

"Ten years."

I was like are you serious?

"Yes I'm very serious".he replied.
I laughed and laughed and replied "you are mad."
Ten years is not a child's play.
We're both in two hundred level and the highest we need is Three years to finish service,then get a job in the fourth or fifth year besides his parents look like they've got some connections and so do mine.
Why ten years?
For what?
I'm twenty right now and in ten years,I'd be thirty exactly.what if by then,he begins to have a change of mind because of younger girls coming his way?.
I'm not in a rush but then,I want to grow with my children.

I planned on getting married highest at twenty five.
Though life has it's own plans,I have mine too.
Why am I just thinking of this?

I gave it a long thought,....it didn't sit well with me so,no,I can't do this anymore.

"Let's break up"
Was all I could type.

" We should Break up because I said ten years?he asked.

"Yes we should break up.I love you doesn't mean that I'm psychologically paralysed.
Where do you want me to get ten years from?
I'm a woman,I don't have that time.
You on the other hand can get married at the age of fifty and nothing will be wrong but not me. I should say I'll wait for you, truth is,I cannot wait for you.Your future wife should be in Jss one or two, definitely not me."

That's how we broke up.
He didn't change his mind and I didn't change mine.
We agreed that it was the best.

The other reason is because,I caught my former roommate flirting with him on WhatsApp….he was playing along.
She sent him her pictures and he sent he's too.Can you imagine?

That girl is just a devil.
She kept asking for his full name and I told her, not knowing that she searched for him on Facebook,they started chatting, exchanged contacts and we're now sharing photos. Who knows what they would do next?
I should have known better but I trusted him well enough to think that he would not fall for it just like I would do for him.I was disappointed the day I took her phone to send a movie and boom!!I saw my boyfriend's pictures and screenshots of their chats. Just wow.

I cried my eyes out all day till evening.
He called to talk to me but ended up crying through the phone call…fist time I heard him cry.
I was pained beyond explanation because I loved him and he loved me too.

I'm just not willing to be in a relationship without future in the name of love.
I would have considered waiting but seeing everything going on between he and mercy has messed up big time.

To cut the long story short,I flopped in all of my exams.
I tried hard to study but it just didn't work.
I miss him,I really do …. still,I cannot prioritize someone who cannot prioritize me.