I woke up to the sound of my mother's voice shouting my name as usual.
I wonder why it has to be my name when
There are up to ….how many kids in this house?
Every morning,the first name you get to hear in my house is my name.I repeat,my name.
When I say every morning,I mean four A.M in the morning.
My mom was calling us out for prayers.

I tapped my little sister who was sleeping soundly beside me,but she wouldn't budge so I resorted to tickling the poor girl who eventually woke up with a crazy loud laugh as she shouted "leave me alone….ha ha ha ha I don't like it ki ki ki ki I don't like it"
She kept shouting until my mom yelled
" Alysher"!
"Boom"!
I expected that actually.

I got out of bed angrily walked  myself to the sitting room angrily and grudgingly not without slapping my sister who was still lying down without any care in the world.

After the morning prayer,
We were asked to stay behind for a family meeting.
I didn't wait for an angel to tell me that I was the Topic of discussion.
I just knew it, and my mother's words confirmed it.

"Alysher! Alysher!
How many times did I call you?
I'm asking you o o better open your mouth and answer me.I said how many times did I call you ehn?"

"Two times"
I replied.

"You better be careful, better be careful with your life and your destiny I'm telling you the Devil is using you to destroy my home. You have destroyed my marriage and now you want to spoil my little baby for me."

"Mummy what did I do?"
I asked.

"You are asking me what you did? So you want to tell me that you don't know what you did?
Okay why was your sister shouting that you should leave her alone? What were you doing to her?"

I racked my brain to know where that question was coming from and when it hit me,my head began to spin,my vision became blurry as tears found their way down till my clothe soaked.

I looked to my Dad and siblings for backup but at that moment,I was on my own.

I felt a spark of fire inside me and that fire grew and grew until it exploded.

If you are thinking what I'm thinking then you are absolutely right but if you're not,here is what it means.

"You are a very bad child,a prostitute you want to spoil my only daughter for me.
Wicked girl but you will not kill me….none of you will kill me o ….I will not die because of a prostitute like you.
Infact, I'd rather not have a child than to have a child like you.
From today onward,stay away from my daughter.yes! Stay away from her because it seems like your staying together is to cause mischief and I will not allow you to do that…. Lesbian like you."

So there you go.
Those were my mum's exact words.

"Lesbian like me?"
"Me a lesbian? how? when?

I turned to look at my Dad but he was giving me the bad eye and so we're my brothers well, except for my younger sister who just put her head down.
I knew she was too scared to say anything.

I wasn't scared at all!
at that moment,all I felt was furry, surprise,anger and humiliation.

Did she have to embarrass me in front of everyone in my family?

Yes! They are my family and I should not be ashamed but in this case,no.
I Felt like the group would open up and swallow me.

This is Africa and in Africa,I'm a Nigerian from the north to be precise.
Every Nigerian knows what I mean exactly.

Apart from being accused of being a lesbian,I'm being accused of doing it with my own blood sister?

To me,this is more than an insult.

I just couldn't take it in at all.
The worst part of it is that, instead of my Dad to have my back,he was ……. what!
Supporting his wife?
I felt betrayed.

"He started by lecturing me on how to play with my sister, not to introduce her to bad stuff and bla bla blah etc.

I couldn't listen to everything he was saying.
I couldn't take it.
If I had known,if only I knew,I would not have tickled my sister just to get her out of bed but it's not my fault that she sleeps like a dead body.

Through the meeting,I did not utter a word.
Normally,I was defensive but today,I was too broken to say a word.
I felt ashamed and insulted for a crime I didn't commit.
In my life, I've never ever admired being a lesbian.
I see it as something disgusting because why?
Of all the species of men in the world, why should I be attracted to a woman….I mean,why should I be sexually attracted to myself? A woman? It's disgusting, unhealthy and very unGodly.
Come to think of it.There are different men in different shapes, different colors different type of sizes.those with six packs, brown skin,silky hair,fair,tall,short, average, intelligent,sneaky,rich etc.
My mum must have taken me to be very dumb I guess.

Forgive me if you are gay, lesbian or whatever it is called.
I'm just not the type of girl.
It's not my thing besides I'm a Christian.

The meeting was over,so I and my sister walked to the room we shared.

She touched my shoulder while saying something I didn't grab.

"Please don't touch me and don't talk to me please".
I whispered angrily at my sister.

You know that feeling when you want to yell at someone but then you have no strength to?

I just wanted to be left alone and I was thankful when my sister left me alone.

It's not her fault I know.
It's nobody's fault I know that too but it is my fault which I perfectly know well.

So, the day continued without me talking to any member of my family till night.

This are the happenings after my mum's return.
Yes!
she came back home.