NAAZ

Soon enough, as Sidharth had mentioned, I was accompanied by a doctor. Later, Mr Mishra entered with a plate in his hand. I attempted to make a conversation with him. The fear that how would Sidharth parents react was troubling me. I was their maid, sitting on his son's bed. A doctor was given the duty of looking after me with an order not to let me out of the bed. What was even happening?

"Ap saare kam akhele kar rahe honge, kya mai apki madat..." I wasn't even provided with an opportunity to talk.

"Iski koi zarurat nahi hai, hum ne nayi housekeeper appoint kar li hai." I was provided with a response, but it wasn't from the one I was accepting, but it came from the entrance. Sidharth's mom, Sumitra, was standing at the door. I looked away from her. She always made me feel scared. As if she could kill me with her dangerous eyes, surely Sidharth was gifted with those glares from his mother.

"You can leave..." she muttered soon enough cook left our presence. "Mr Gupta, you might be hungry. You too can go and have something, I had mentioned my cook to prepare for you." Was she indirectly asking him to leave us alone? But, why? Was she angry with me? Surely, she was! I was lying on his son bed. For the first time, I was grateful for the doctor's presence.

"Hmm... sorry to deny ma'am." He too seemed frightened of her. I wasn't the only person dying in horror in the mansion, I doubted how the cook could behave so calm around those dangerous human beings? "Sir had highly mentioned to not leave her side for a second."

"I am his mother, I won't be any harm." She sounded pissed as she had to convince him.

"Yes, will come back soon." I could sense his uneasiness. After all, he had to face all the outcomes if even I moved an inch from the bed. I rolled my eyes in my mind couldn't dare to do it before Sumitra ma'am. Soon I heard his hesitating footstep fade away and another footstep approaching me. All the while, I was contracting on the blanket covering my lap as if it could save me from an upcoming event.

"Kaisi ho, Shehnaaz?" I could never know, she could sound so soft. I always heard her shouting at me, it was so unreal. For a minute, I felt my ears were ringing so I kept doing my work that was staring at the blanket. "Shehnaaz, are you fine?" This time, she raised her voice a little. And I no longer had a doubt, it was for real.

I slowly raise my head to glance at her, she was smiling at me. Was I dreaming? What was it with people and their changing behaviour? "Hmm... ha..." I shuttered, but it wasn't my fault. She had baffled me to the core. She passed a smile once again, taking a seat beside me on the bed.

"I... hmm... mai... maine kabhi teekh se baat nahi ki.." Was she apologising? What was the problem with their entire family when asking forgiveness?

"Teekh hai..." Wasn't intending to drag her to the edge. She didn't seem comfortable doing it.

"Karan hadn't told us your past, he wasn't planning to convey without you desiring." I looked her at in horror, concealing my face further. Was she aware of me been cure? No! she wouldn't have been seating beside me. Maybe his son was stubborn but she would be intelligent not to repeat his mistake. "After my rounds of persistence he told me, your life wasn't pleasant. I don't know how to take it... don't worry I am not going to force you to open up with me. Past is painful and it's better to burry them up." Her voice suddenly lowered, a slight pain overlapping it. I had the urge to press her hand in reassurance but held myself. I was still her maid!

"We can never know what goes around that face, it is a mask, emotionless. To conceal from the world around us, we are none to judge." Deep down I knew, no longer the conversation was about me. It was someone so dear to her, she was scared to voice it out to me. As if she understood my thoughts, she slowly took my hands in hers. "Tumhe shayad mai selfish lagu, pr mere paas koi aur chara nahi hai. Tum he lagta hoga itna bada ghar, itna bada nam sab kuch hai hamare paas pr shayad kuch nahi. Sidharth hamari jaan hai, yeh paisa, yeh kamiyabi kuch nahi uske samne... shayad woh yeh kabhi vishwas na kare." A sad smile was playing on her lips, "usko lagta hai... hume uski fikar nahi hai. Use kya pata ki uske ma-bap pal pal marte hai use marte huve dekh kar. Nahi kahungi hamari koi galati nahi thi, ha kisi mod mein hum usko samjh nahi paye. Shayad hum kisi aur way mein deal karte aaj koi ache outcomes hote, pr zindagi mein ma bap bana koi sikh ke nahi aata koi galti kar ke hi sikta hai." She paused for a long time, inhaling and pushing back those tears.

"Shayad galti samjh ne mein buhot der ho gayi ki humare beta humse dur ho gaya." Finally, a tear left from the corner of her eyes. I could feel her pain, the mask was no longer present. "usko pane ka hope dilati ho tum, aaj samjh aaya Ritesh ya Karan kabhi galat nahi the tumare baare mein, shayad mai hi dekh nahi payi." She stopped once again staring at my eyes, "please... use chod ke wapas kabhi mat jana woh mar jayega." She choked at the end, at the same moment I heard footsteps and she upheld her posture back, again the mask was worn.

"I hope, I hadn't taken time." I heard the doctors voice, and soon Sumitra stood from the bed.

"Take care..." passing a sad smile, she walked from the room.

I was finding it difficult to register her voiced words. It wasn't something, I never heard before. Karan and Ritesh sir had uttered it and she had repeated their exact words. Why they had so much trust in me? Or was it nothing to do with me but Sidharth? They had known him, did I affected him to such a deep level? Could my mere absence lead him to end his life? Was she exaggerating it? But her eyes weren't lying? But why? He could get any beautiful lady, why was he fond of a cursed person like me?

After hours of the doctor not leaving me, finally, I decided to stand from the bed. He seemed busy on phone, glanced at me in caution. "What are you doing?" He sounded so horror-stricken. "get in the bed," he moved towards me.

"Mainu... bathroom vich jana hai..." I spoke, lowering my gaze. It was so embarrassing speaking it aloud.

"Tum nahi ja sakti, sir ne mana kiya hai bed se niche utrne ko." What was he saying? I needed to go to the washroom, can't he understand it?

"Samjh ne ki koshish karo... mainu..." he moved towards me, suddenly I started feeling uncomfortable if he wasn't making it worse for me. He stood an inch away, and I had no way to go as moving leg possibly make me collide with the wall.

He leaned below and soon pulled me in his arms. "Kya kar rahe ho ap... mainu neeche..." I whispering yelled at him, as I stirred in his arms trying to get out of him.

"Mere paas koi aur..."

"What the hell!" We were awarded with a loud yell, shaking the floor beneath us. I moved my eyes towards the person, while the rough voice sounded way too familiar. He was shooting daggers at either doctor or me, I couldn't point out clearly.

"I... I..." I could feel the doctors hands shivering under my waist, I was certain he could drop on the ground at any minute. His eyes were wide in alarm as he was staring at Sidharth at the entrance.

"WHAT THE HELL! Is going on?" His voice got louder if it was even possible.

___

Sorry, I don't have any personal grudges with the doctor.

And one more thing, I felt that I am not satisfied with the ending I had written, so maybe the book will extend. I want to show Naaz's realization(confession) in a different way, I am just thinking about the possibilities. If anyone had any idea, pm me. Would be glad to listen to any fresh ideas.