NAAZ

I heard the faint noise of footsteps bringing me back to the present. And soon the person entered inside the room, with a plate in his hand. The smile that was reaching his eyes was suddenly replaced with a frown. And I knew the reason behind it. I diverted my gaze, staring at my lap. Preparing myself for the consequence on the way.

I heard him nearing, and my heart was beating fast, hammering in my chest. Was I scared of him? Maybe after the encounter, we had. He was fuming like a lion, ready to attack on his prey. I never knew. He looked so threatening in anger. Flashes of past swept before me. He was always intimating but on experiencing his anger, intimating would be an understatement.

"Why is that sheet covering you," his voice rough, dark if it even was possible. I could sense him controlling his anger. "I... AM... ASKING... YOU..." His voice low yet the yell I couldn't miss, his breath increasing. I had pissed him off, but what could I do?

"Mai apna chehra nahi dikha sakti..." I muttered slowly to myself but he heard it.

"Kyu?" He questioned, that got me to raise my eyes. He knew it pretty well, yet he was questioning. But the minute my brown orbs locked with his black one, I regretted. I regretted my decision of looking at those dark, bloodshot eyes. It conveyed, he was on verge of killing anyone. Why was he so mad? I was just covering my face. I should be scared after seeing it, but all I was feeling was concern. Why was he feeling such strong emotion?

"Apko pata hai... ki yeh chehra kitna manus hai, kitne logo ki jaan..."

"Mujhe fark nahi padta..." His voice was a mere whisper, eyes not leaving from mine. When he got no reaction from my face on his respond, he repeated his words back. "Mujhe bilkul fark nahi padta," loud enough for anyone on the floor to hear. "Yeh chehra..." I hadn't noticed when he kept the plate as he bends and jerked the dupatta away. "Mere liye na kabhi manus tha na kabhi ho sakta hai." His eyes shooting daggers at me, demanding to oppose his action.

"Yeh chehra ne apko hospital vich pahuchaya tha. Shukr hai wahiguru ka apki jaan baar-baar bach gayi." My words were out not thinking about the consequence. I had to prove he was wrong, I couldn't let his stubborn harm him further. I had seen his stubbornness landing him in hospital.

"For God sake!" I heard him cursing under his breath not something appropriate I would listen to. "It was coincidence, how could you take it so seriously. Tum kyu nahi samjhti asa kuch nahi hota," his hands making his place in those messy black hairs. He was losing his patience, I was testing him.

"Kaise samjhu?" It was whisper again, a thought I was battling with. How could he hope that I would again let myself commit sin? I wasn't able to come out of the guilt of him on the verge of dying. "Itefak ek bari hota hai. Baar baar nahi, jab hamesha maine dusro ko nuksan pahuchaya hai toh kaise manlu yeh sab jhoot hai? Kaise?" I wiped the tears emerging, attempting to cover my head once again.

His eyes were digging daggers but I looked away not wanting to die in those intense gaze. He stood up from me, it amazed me. I was expecting more argument, him winning it as always but much to my surprise he took a few step towards the door. Muttered some curses, stopped. He turned, glancing at me for micro-second before throwing the vase on the table beside me just mere inch from the bed. I could see in his eyes, frustration.

I had closed my ears in alarm due to the fear, that it would touch me. "Don't worry I won't harm you." He whispered a sad one, "that's the fucking problem." Increasing his pitch, "I can't fucking harm you." With those words, he walked out of the room.

I had pissed him beyond words, he hate losing battle and maybe he was losing with me one. I shook my head, directing my eyes towards the plate. He had kept it on beside table, he had specially prepared something for me. I couldn't name it, as it was something new I ever seen. And it was a result of his hardwork, I pissed him off. I stared at the plate for much longer period, I wasn't in a need of food. Hunger was long gone! Yet I couldn't let his work go to waste. Slowly, I took the plate in my lap. Allowing the substance to enter my mouth, it taste fine. No! It taste delicious, what was it even? I stared at in much longer as if, it could provide me with the answer.

Such deciding on enjoying the dish and leaving the curiousity to rest in my brain. I completed the entire plate within few minutes, at that moment I realised, I was hungry for real. Moments passed by, I wasn't getting any sleep. First, I was sleeping in Sidharth's bed if her mom found me, it wouldn't be something applicable. She might turn more furious, and drag me out of the room. I could had done it myself but notion of Sidharth crossed my mind. I had pissed him already and opposing another order of him might be too risky to commit on same hour. So I made myself comfortable in the bed, it amazed me that I hadn't fallen from the bed.

I wasn't used to lying something so high from the ground, but I wasn't laying alone. Sidharth had his arms around me, objecting me from moving. How many hours, had we fallen sleep? It was so embarrassing to find myself sleeping beside him. The thought caught a pink layer to pass my cheek, was I blushing? Obviously! After the last encounter of our closeness resulted into. Did he remembered it? He... my hand made its way on my lip, caressing it slowly. Those images never left my mind, his rough lip brushing on my soft one. I never experienced something I did at that moment. Was it right? No! I couldn't allow myself to dream about something that couldn't last long.

I and he couldn't ever end up together. I was a curse and it was my reality, nothing could change it. Not even his stubbornness! It was better to never let those feeling touch my heart because it would shutter me down. I would had to leave him, I couldn't let myself to be curse to him. He deserved a better life unlike me. A drop of tear escape from the corner of my eyes, the thought itself pierched my heart. How was I supposed to do it again? How was I to walk away?

____

I wasn't aware when I felt into deep slumber. But a strong smell shake me from my sleep, and a pull on my waist. It was a familiar odour but mixed with a mixture of alcohol. My mind was feeling drowsy yet I was half-conscious not desiring to open my eyes again.

"Why does you make me feel so helpless, how can you control me with such an ease?" He chuckled, I could listen to his deep hoarsh voice. It sounded familiar, was it him? Had he returned back? "Sleep..." he whispered before pressing me more into the scent. I nuzzled more into the warmth, not bothering myself with the alcohol towering my senses, I needed sleep. Peaceful sleep in comfortable arms!

Main gehra tamasha tu sunera savera...

Mai tera o... Mai tera o...

____

The sun had raise to its position, the room brightened a little suggested me. No! I hadn't woke due to it, because the rays could hardly cross the dark black curtain consisting in the room. The reason of me waking up was the commotion going into the room, there was an argument filled with growls engulfing my ears in early morning.

"I had warn you yesterday, why you had to be drunk last night?" I heard a question showered, so my eyes moved on the individuals present in the room.

"Karan! Don't frustrate me, I am not in a mood." Sidharth was sitting on one of the couch, laying his head on it. As if tired, had he woke a minute back?

"I am not in a mood either, I had message you about you need to attend college." For the first time, I was witnessing Karan so pissed off. Surely it was something very important but on the other hand, Sidharth seemed least bothered. "We need to submit the project, can't you understand it?"

"I never cared..." as if he hadn't just denied something very much important. Wasn't the project so much important that they stayed in village for whole one month? And why wasn't he serious about submitting it?

"It's our final year Sidharth, can't you act serious for once? Why can't you take the studies seriously? You are capable of so much more." I could sense from Karan's voice, he was feeling defeated. I could understand him, he had worked hard for it. I had never attended school or received any education yet in early years I had seen Sushi stress out about those assignments and test. Sometime I did filled revealed that I never had to face it in life. But it never made me feel less sad that I never enjoyed or experienced things that was normal for other people of my age. I never knew, what making friends, stressing about exam meant. I wished I could experience it too!

"Why can't you just show it yourselves?" He questioned him back, "the project is completed. You just need to submit it, for fuck sake." He groaned pulling his head in his palm.

"Drink the lemonade..." Lowering his voice, Karan pointed at the glass on the table. "And you know we can't as this marks should also be included to your result. Plus, you should return back to college. It's been days!" Suggested concentrating back on his phone and typing something.

"I can't! I can't leave her alone..." At that minute they realised I was present in the room, both staring at me. All I wished was that I was asleep. I wasn't desiring to get their whole attention. Sidharth intense eyes were so much to handle, instead of glare it showed some unknown emotions, something he was hiding.

"Others are there to look after..." Karan was going to justify but he interrupted him.

"None I could trust on..." His eyes still fix, not moving a second. I couldn't even divert my gaze, something in those black orbs wasn't letting me to move.

"Sid..." Before Karan could oppose, Sidharth spoke again but it wasn't to him but directed towards me.

"Call that doctor!" He ordered, confusion was surrounding both of us. "He will look after her." He spoke suddenly the emotions was masked with a smirk playing on his lip. "And if she move his leg from the bed, he would pay the consequence." Stunned! That was what I felt at the minute, was he blackmailing me? "I will be ready in a minute," without offering me any glance he stormed into the bedroom. What was he even? What had happened to him? Maybe same was Karan thought as he was staring at Sidharth retreating figure, but he was fast enough to grab himself together whereas I was still dwelling in shock.

"Wasn't intending to trouble you sleeping beauty," his mishecious smile was back and so was Karan. I shook my head, "waise raat kaise gayi? Sidharth ke room mein?" That smile was giving more things and I wasn't knowing why on earth was I turning red?

"Hmm... woh... mujhe nahi pata mai... yaha..."

"Sidharth le ke aaya tha uski Jhalli ko, woh kya haina woh uski baaho mein so gayi thi..." I stared at him wide eyes, what? How could I? Was he uttering the truth? No! It couldn't be the case, I stared at him again but his huge grin shouted he wasn't lying. How embarrassing! What would his parents think about me? What had I committed? The red shade was getting brighter on my face, all I wished was to hide from Karan teasing eyes.

"Aur uske apne baaho mein utake apne room mein laya, wow! How romantic na?" If my cheek could even turn any darker red. I was hiding my face with dupatta, couldn't he stop! As if Sidharth had heard my plead, he walked out. And should I mention with bare towel wrapping around his waist. His eyes stayed at me for a second moving back at Karan with confusing gaze but he wasn't uttering a word.

"What are you doing, Sid?" Soon Karan was by my side, covering both of my eyes. "Meri boli bacchi ki masum aakhe karab mat karo" He scolded Sidharth causing him to ignore him. At least he wasn't responding him.

"Toh tum kya kar rahe the jab uski gal tomato jitne lal karva diye the." I was so wrong when I said he had came as rescue but all he was doing, was adding more flue into it. I closed my eyes, and ears if it was even possible no longer I wanted to hear them and spoil myself.

Soon Karan removed his hands from my eyes, "don't stare at him." Saying so he walked out of the room dialling someone. I wasn't intending but unknowingly my eyes darted at him. He was no longer in towel, but jeans but his chest was still bare. Staring at his wardrobe, to find something desirable to wear. Water droplet were still present in his black, and some making its way from his wet black hair.

"Tumhe ghur ne se mana kiya gaya hai," my mouth widened and I looked away. "Pr mujhe koi problem nahi hai..." The later statement startled me even further. I was staring at him with wide eyes, as he pulled one of shirt on him and without even glancing at me walked out of the room. Did he spoke it out? Or was my ears ringing? No it wasn't first time, he had a comment earlier in the village he often fooled around but his behaviour had suddenly changed once I left him. He hated me right? But previous day event, described something else. He was behaving concern towards me yet anger was overlapping everything.

____

Some inner battle Shehnaaz is going through, some concern shown by Sidharth. Hopefully, things are going to get better between the two.

Any idea, why Sidharth drank again? Hint: because the thing happened just before it.