Our eyes lock as we part, and both of us are breathless.

"That was... wow," I finally say. 

"I did okay, then?" he asks in a teasing tone, but I hear a hint of vulnerability in it. 

"It was amazing," I assure him, but then I start feeling nervous as soon as I say it. "I hope for you too..."

"Oh, sweet Sam, it was as perfect as you."

The wind is starting to howl around us but I could care less at the moment.

"I am hardly perfect," I say with a short laugh. 

"Are too." He brushes my wet hair from my face. "You're also soaked. We better get inside."

I notice how incredibly wet his head is, too, and dusted in big white flakes at that. The snow is coming down in damn near sheets around us. Yet, I feel none of it. I'm still too warm inside from that kiss.

Jax takes my hand in his, and the two of us start hustling through the still-fluffy fallen snow into the cabin.

We shed our wet coats and boots and hang them on the antler secured to the wall near the door. Jax heads to the fireplace to add a log, and I grab the deck of cards from the cabinet and set them down on the table while he fiddles with the fireplace.

Once the fire is roaring again, he stands and turns to face me. His eyes shimmer, looking more blue than grey the way they are all lit up. His lips look so warm and inviting, and the next thing I know, we're gravitating to each other.

I nearly fall into his arms as our lips meet again.

***

"This is my favorite thing in the world," Jackson murmurs as he softly strokes his hand up and down my back. It's so soothing I savor it as a content feeling washes over me.  

We stopped kissing long enough to play one card game of Go Fish, and then we retrieved the meat from the smoker before crawling into bed.

My head is comfortably curled up on his chest, my arm draped across it, and the blankets are wrapped around us.

"Even better than the kissing?" I ask with a little grin.

"Asking the hard-hitting questions," he jokes with a soft rumble of a laugh. "I love kissing you, Sam, but I love this even more."

"Yeah, me too," I agree, my lips curling back into the grin that seems to be permanent tonight.

"Yeah?"

"Mhm, I feel so safe when you hold me."

He tightens his hold a little, then leans down and kisses the top of my head.

"Have you had any more nightmares?"

"No, not since that night."

"Good."

"I don't hate it here," I confess. "I know that sounds weird, but the snow tonight was so pretty, and the steaks were amazing. I didn't appreciate stuff like that back home."

"I know what you mean. This place has been my prison since I was fifteen, but it's also my home, and I respect it. I even love it at times," he says.

"Too bad it can't be what it is, but with some electricity and plumbing."

"Yeah,  wouldn't that be something," he murmurs. He moves his hand up to my hair,  running his fingers through it. I marvel at how gentle his touches are with his calloused hands.

"Do you miss TV and music?" I ask.

"Music mostly. We had a little portable radio, but once the batteries died it was no good."

"Who was your favorite singer or band?" I ask.

"Pink Floyd was pretty badass, Metallica too," he says.

"You'd like Nirvana. They're different, kind of like rock and roll but grittier."

"Like metal?"

"No...they call it alternative. It's like —" There's really only way to show him what I mean. "Don't laugh at me for this."

"For what?"

I sit up on the bed, folding my legs up under me, and he also moves to a sitting position facing me. I dart my eyes away, clear my throat, and sing a verse from Smells Like Teen Spirit.

"I think I prefer my regular rock," Jackson says, and I burst out laughing.

"It sounds much better when they sing it, I promise. Don't ever tell anyone I did that to their song. I'd probably get publicly stoned or something."

"What?" He looks confused.

"People get all obsessed over Nirvana, it's kind of cult-like in a way. They hate anything to do with authority and dress like the frontman Kurt Cobain in baggy ripped-up jeans. Long dirty looking hair, scrubby flannels, and baggy tee shirts under them."

"I'd fit right in then," he says.

"You'd be the badass everyone wants," I agree.

"I doubt that," he laughs this time.

"Would too. You're hot and you're rugged for a reason, not on purpose."

"You really think that?" He asks with a little lift to his voice.

"Yup, I do," I chirp. "Belinda and I used to laugh about these tough guys using their mom's sewing scissors to cut holes in their jeans."

"That's great," he chuckles. "Tell me about her, she's your best friend?"

"Yeah," I sigh sadly but smile softly. "Belinda is amazing. She's so funny, but in this very subtle way, most miss it if they don't know her well enough to catch her sarcasm. She's so observant of people, too. You cannot be in any type of mood and expect her to miss it."

He nods me on with a soft smile, and I continue.

"We were just little kids at the lake with our moms when we met. Our moms started chatting, and the next thing we knew, we all went out to lunch. Bel was very shy like me, but somehow, she and I clicked instantly, and we immediately became best friends. She was there for me when my mom was sick and after. She never left my side, even when I tried to make her. I don't know that I'd have gotten past it without her. "

"I'm so glad she was there when you needed her," he says with a sad tinge in his tone. "I never had anyone like that, Carl was the closest person to a real friend, but even he was just around for the plan, for Franky."

Tears well up in my eyes. I recall the terrible, heavy sadness that plagued me for so long after my mother's death. I cannot even imagine dealing with that kind of trauma all alone, and it was worse for him because it wasn't only his mom. He lost everyone.

"Don't cry, baby," he scoots a little closer, and I clasp my hands over his.

"I can't help it. I hate that you had to grieve her all alone."

"I know, but I did grieve, Sam. Not right away. After the thing with the wolves, I was so focused on staying alive that it overtook everything. But it all hit me once I found this cabin and eventually had a chance to sit and think. Some days were really hard, but I felt close to her as I mourned her, you know? Like she was with me."

"She was," I assure him as I squeeze his hands. "I know she was."

"I didn't say all that to make you sad. I really am glad you had Belinda."

"Maybe you could meet her someday." As soon as I say the words, his face tenses, and I know...  

"As much as I wish I could, we have to be realistic," he says gently.

"I can't go back to Chicago," I say bluntly, and it feels like a punch right in the gut.

"No, you can't," he agrees.

"But my dad..."

"Will be arrested for fraud if they find out you're alive," Jax fills in where I trailed off.

My stomach sinks, and I drop my head, staring down at my knees. Logically, I know this. I've always known this, but I kept a false hope anyway. Jax voicing it makes it real, and I'm crestfallen. He holds his hand under my chin, gently tilting my head to meet his gaze.

"I will find a way to save you. You won't spend your life running from the Russos. No fucking way will I let that happen."

"If saving me means sacrificing yourself, then no, Jax!"

"Sam.." He drags a hand through his shaggy hair. "It won't be what Franky wants. I won't do that. All I'd have to do is buddy up to Vinny long enough to save you."

"Then what? He just lets you his only male heir go?" I say with heavy sarcasm. He blows out a breath, leaning his back against the headboard.

"You want another way as bad as I do, so we will find one," I say firmly. Jax may be stubborn, but I have found a new determination that I never had before, and I am holding strong to it.

"Of course I do, but I don't know what it is, and I hate not having a plan."

"Now that I understand, and luckily, I am a great planner, what were you going to do before I came here?" I tilt my head curiously.

"I'd take off before Franky showed up and get ahead of him. I was thinking of maybe in May. Then I'd go to Minnesota and make my way to the city there to hustle and whatever for cash. Once I had enough, I wasn't sure where yet, but I planned to get as far from the Midwest as possible. From there, the plan was to settle down in some small town somewhere but with an escape plan just in case."

"So why can't that be the plan now, with me along with you?"

"Because you could be recognized."

"On the road so far from where I went missing several months later? It's not likely," I point out. "Besides that, I  already look way different."

"No, you don't."

"I do, too. I was chubby. You probably didn't notice me then, but my whole face is different now that it's thin."

"Your face is thin because you're malnourished. Don't say things like that about yourself. You're beautiful, Sam, and I thought so from the first day I saw you."

"You did?" I whisper as a rush of warmth runs through me.

"How could I not? These piercing green eyes of yours and these cheeks that look so cute when they're pink." He starts to trace my face with his hand my skin flushes warm under his touch. "This little dash of freckles over your nose that crinkles up when you laugh." I can't help the giggle that escapes when he says that, which makes him smile. He then lowers his thumb over my lips.  "These soft and sweet lips..."

He leans closer still, his face just inches from mine. "So fucking beautiful."

"Jax," I whisper as his lips crash into mine.

I fall on top of his broad chest, and he slinks back down so I'm lying on top of him. I get lost in his smoky and whiskey scent, almost forgetting my name, as our tongues become entangled. The look of desire in his eyes when our lips part sends a surge of heat down to my core like nothing I've ever felt. My cheeks are flaming red, and I think I may be partially gaping at him as I try to navigate these intense physical feelings with how I'm supposed to react.

It's all so much, and so naturally, I start giggling like an absolute idiot. With it, the moment seems to drift away like little bubbles as Jackson's intense gaze softens, and soft laughter escapes his lips, too. There is a relief in knowing he is as new to all this as I am, and any embarrassment floats away right along with those bubbles.

I settle back down onto my spot on his chest, and he encircles me into his arms, pulling the blankets up over us as he does. 

"If you thought your toe-curling kiss was going to distract me from our conversation, you're wrong," I say teasingly, earning another rumbling chuckle from him.

"Toe-curling? Want a repeat?"

"No more distracting me!" I lift my head lazily to give him a half-assed attempt at a scolding look. He pokes at my nose playfully, forcing that attempt into a smile instead. 

"I am serious. I don't see why I can't run with you," I add in a firmer tone. 

"For one, you have probably been seen on TV, and yes, you do look the same as you did. They probably broadcasted you on several neighboring state stations. Someone sees us, calls the cops, and we're screwed."

"But by spring, I would mostly be forgotten, and I can wear sunglasses, dye my hair, wear a hat, and all that."

"We have no money, Sam. I was talking about going to the city to live on the streets or in a shelter until I scraped enough together to get a car and hit the road. I can't do that with you."

"Why not? I can help earn money."

"I would never put you in that kind of danger. No way."

"That's not fair. I get a say. I can handle it, Jax. I'm tough and keep to myself and–"

"I know you lived in the city, but living on the streets is a different story.  If someone thinks you have something they want, they take it."

"I'm sure it is harder, but–"

"I get it, Sam. You got used to taking care of yourself and got tough, but you shouldn't have had to. No one ever protected you, but that's over now. I'm here and not letting anything happen to you."

My eyes are again filled with tears as my stomach flips with emotion.

"I like that you want to protect me. You're right that no one has," I say, and he starts softly stroking my back as I continue. "But, you also have to hear me out because I want us to be a team. I have learned to think fast and out of the box."

"I promise to always hear you out, Sam. I know firsthand how smart and savvy you are. But I was scared to live on the streets myself. I can't put you in that kind of situation."

"What other choice is there? We have to either run or you have to do what Franky wants. I'd rather take our chances on the road."

"It's too dangerous," he says with a sigh.

"What if  we had money?"

"That would make it much easier and safer, but we don't."
"You said Franky does, though."

"Well, yeah, but.."

"It's your money, right? You're the head of the Mancetti family." I glance up at him and find a grim look as he nods.

"So.. why can't you simply tell Franky no, get him to get us the money we need, and we can just go?"

"It's not that easy. What Franky did was above and beyond, standing up and taking care of me, and the business. Vinny's next move would have been to get custody of me, and he would have, at that point, taken over my family's remaining assets since I was a minor. It was quick and needed thinking to fake my death. He saved me from getting drug into the Russo family at fifteen. I owe him for that."

"He did do that, and you can be grateful, but that doesn't mean you owe him anything, and it doesn't mean you have to obey him your entire life."

"It's not only Franky. I owe my life to it. It's the business, and walking away from it, not avenging my family, is a traitorous action. It will cause anyone left to turn on me, Franky included."

"He would hurt you after everything you've done?"

"Not on purpose. He'd probably try and help, but he could only do so much if I betrayed my birthright."

I let out a doubtful scoff.

"I know you don't like him, but he was there on the worst night of my life."

"And then he manipulated you into this," I argue.

" I know he did, and I saw that last summer, but it doesn't make my feelings any less complicated about it."

"Of course, they're complicated," I say soothingly. 

 "I don't see a way to reason with him, which means this all has to get so messy."

An idea starts brewing in my head and I sit up slightly, propping my head up with my elbow. "I have an idea."

He glances at me, and I launch right into it.

"We tell Franky you need a solid alibi for where you were for the last four years before you show up at Vinny's door. We tell him Vinny will be suspicious and want to track down where you came from. When he cannot find a trail. He is not going to trust you."

"This is true..." Jackson says quietly, his eyes fixed on me.

"So the best way to have an alibi and a trail is actually to go to Vegas where Vinny thought you died. Spend enough time there to be seen in some places, and then make our way back here so he has a trail. Only, we won't do that at all, we'll take the money and car and go somewhere... we'll still have to figure that part out."

"Holy shit," Jackson rubs a hand over his face. "That's fucking genius."

"You think so?" I nearly squeal with hope.

"I do. This could work. Vinny will be suspicious of me, and showing up from nowhere would surely raise an eyebrow. If that somehow made them look at Franky, who's been chilling in plain sight all these years, he'd be fucked. I can convince him this is the only way. I really think I can."

"I know you can." I am beaming as my heart fills with hope.

"We won't be able to ask for a lot of money, or it'll raise suspicion, but we only need so much. we'll be driving most of the time, at first anyway." I can hear the confidence growing with every word.

"But.." His voice drops, and with it, my heart.

"No, but Jax! Let's be happy we have a plan," I beg.

"What do we do about your dad?"  He drops the hammer down anyway, and shit, was it a big one.

"Damn," I whisper with a cringe, I forgot all about that part of this. Am I a horrible daughter? I honestly didn't mean to overlook him.

"Franky won't protect him once he realizes we fooled him," Jackson points out.

"Then we can somehow get him safe first. Franky will have to leave here and return with a car and money. Maybe we can convince him to get my dad a getaway car and some money too, or bring him somewhere."

"We'll tell Franky to bring him here and leave him in the woods, some poetic justice."

"Jax," I grumble.

"I'm only half joking, Sam. It might be our only option. He could make it. We could make sure he's set up with food and tools."

"Maybe a place like this would be good for him," I say thoughtfully. "No bars, no casinos- just nature. He'd feel her out here. I know I do."

"I feel them too, at times all of them," Jax says softly. "I worry they'd be disappointed in me, Jack, and my grandpa. I am abandoning the family business my grandpa worked hard to build it. I am the last chance to save it and all I want to do is walk away."

"He was your grandpa first, and I believe he'd have wanted what's best for you as a person. Same with your uncle. The business killed both of them, so why would they want that for you, too? They'd be proud of you for making a change, just like you know your mom is."

"I want to make her proud and be the man she hoped I could be."

"She is, I know she is, and Jax, " I look up at those hooded smoky eyes of his. "You are a good man."

"I have a whole new reason to prove that now," his voice breaks with emotion. Then he leans down, and our lips find each other again. This time, it's a soft and slow kiss as we lie in each other's arms. I'm amazed at how well our mouths mold to each other; it's like we've done this a million times.

After we part, he puts a sweet and lingering kiss on my forehead. Something about it makes my heart sing in my chest.

I don't have any real romantic experiences to compare this to, but I don't think I'd have felt this deeply and consumed by any boy I'd have dated back home.  I daydreamed up so many perfect dates and moments, and not one of them compare to these very real and quiet moments with Jax.

Even as a snowstorm rages outside, I feel peace and contentment. 

I turn to the side, yawning sleepily, and Jackson spoons me against him, wrapping his arms around me protectively. "Sleepy?"

"Mhm."

"Night, baby."

Damn, I really like when he calls me that, and I can't help but start smiling like an idiot again, even as my eyes flutter closed.

"Night, Jax," I mumble.

Sleep doesn't blanket me right away. Instead, I lie there listening to the sound of the snow falling outside as the fire crackles inside. Jax feels warm and strong, and I realize I never felt safe like I do in his arms.

Just as I start feeling myself drift off, I hear him whisper. "I'd do anything for you, my sweet Sam."