the reunion

No one with the exception of Carmen, Elias, and I understood why the vibe became tense all of a sudden. A mere hour ago, we were sitting in the common area of Christian's dorm, cyphing and joking around, but now as we walked down the rickety cobblestone path to the main campus yard, the silence was palpable.

I know I said to Elias that we needed to talk, but it's not like anything had ever went my way. He ignored me from the moment he made eye contact across the room, continued to ignore me as we smoked, and—you guessed it—ignored me when we all stood up to leave. At least we had Jordan's loud blaring playlist in the apartment before to fill the void. But here and now? The sound of the campus alive around us wasn't enough to take up space in our bubble. And although we were outside in the cool, late summer weather, I felt like I was suffocating.

I was walking in front of the guys next to Carmen, who could tell I was shitting bricks at the prospect of speaking something other than American Sign Language to Elias since anything else required words. "Girl, just talk to him. This non confrontational shit you're doing is not like the Ember him and I know."

"I'm scared," I whispered, clutching onto her arm. "What am I supposed to say?"

Was I supposed to say, I'm sorry for leaving you in the dust when I thought breaking up was the best decision, Elias? I'm sorry for showing up at your doorstep unannounced and looking like I already moved on to your roommate?

I'm sorry I might still be in love with you and never admitted it?

That thought jolted me and I stopped walking instantly. I couldn't take it anymore, so I swiveled around and made eye contact with a startled Elias, who seemed to be deep in thought as well. Jordan and Keith stopped walking too, sending me funny glances. I wasn't paying them much attention though, since my mind was only focused on the blonde haired boy in front of me.

"C'mere, I wanna talk to you," I finally said, my voice soft and hesitant. I grabbed his hand almost out of instinct, which I regretted immediately. That same warmth spread through my body, and his touch made me feel like I was home.

Apparently he didn't feel that way though, because my hand only lingered for about three seconds before he snatched it back. He hung back and went in between the gap of space in the middle of the group. I knew by his mannerisms that he expected me to follow.

"You guys go ahead, we have to catch up," I said with a forced smile to everyone as I beckoned them to go forward. "We'll meet by the bell tower in a few."

Carmen sent me a pointed look, her face clearly giving a don't fuck this up, you stupid bitch expression and dragged Keith with her by the forearm. "I don't want to miss the step show, so see you guys! I'll text you in a bit, Ember."

"Okay," I replied, and I watched as they continued their stride down the path, leaving Elias and I surrounded by the thickness of silence among the two of us.

Elias was still quiet after a few moments, staring at the ground before he shook his head. Slightly panicked, I opened my mouth to speak at the same time he did.

"Why didn't you tell—" He started to say.

"I wanted to tell you—" The words tumbled out of my mouth, and we looked up at each other. The hurt gleamed in his eyes, and a strong feeling took a hold of my chest.

"Why?" was what he finally managed to ask. There were so many unspoken questions between those three letters. And I genuinely didn't know how to answer any one of them.

I swallowed thickly and dropped my gaze to the ground. "I-I didn't think you would care."

"What?" He sputtered out, his eyes wide. "Ember, you broke up with me because we weren't going to the same school. Then when you found out you were, you didn't think I would care?"

I didn't think he would understand. Back when we were applying to schools, Elias already picked North Atlantic because it was a school I was interested in. He was capable of getting into Ivy Leagues and top schools in the country with his grades. But me? I could barely get off the waitlist. Either way, I was dumb to think I wouldn't have seen him on campus eventually and have this conversation one of these days. Better to have it soon than later down the line.

When I couldn't manage to unstick my tongue from the roof of my mouth and part my lips to speak, it seemed like he had enough by the way his gaze cut to mine, with anger bubbling at the surface. "Damn it, E! Just fucking talk to me!"

"Okay! I wanted you to forget about me, Scarsdale, and any way I could possibly screw up your life more than I did before!" I yelled, burying my head in my hands. The point of my avoiding him was to negate any type of conflict that being together would cause, but I was apparently doing a piss poor job at that. "I thought that would be the most mature solution for the both of us."

Elias scanned my face, his eyebrows knitted together. "Please don't pretend like you made that decision with me in mind. How could you think that I could ever forget you?"

"I don't want to fight with you, Elias," I said quietly, trying to hold the tears back. And truthfully, I didn't. I missed him more than anything and our first moments back were resulting in the start of an argument. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, I really did think it was the best. You almost went to jail for me, how were we supposed to come back from that?"

He was silent as he continued to stare into my eyes. His gaze made me nervous, so I fixed it on his new shoes. They were bright and fresh Air Force 1s, and I almost wanted to cringe at the possibility of grass stains from the field we were standing in.

"Where do we go from here?" He finally asked, biting his lip. I knew he was anxious for my response by that tiny ministration which used to drive me mad. Who was I kidding, it still did.

"I don't know," I spoke, my eyes still on the ground. "I missed you so much, and I couldn't stop thinking about you the entire summer. I just don't want you to hate me anymore."

I felt his fingers rest below my chin, before gently guiding my head up so my eyes could meet his. He stepped closer, and his woodsy scent invaded my senses. I took a deep breath, just in case this was the last time for a while I would be around him. After all, I could tell that he—

"Ember, I could never hate you," he whispered, before he tugged me into a hug. "You know how I feel about you, and even though it hurt, hate is not even a thought in my mind. I've missed you too, I just wished you didn't leave me hanging all this time."

Wow, I was way off. His warmth enveloped me, and even though it was still humid on this late summer night, it felt as if I had been cold for a long time before he held me.

My phone buzzed, and I pulled away to grab my phone out of my pocket. It was Carmen with a "where u at hoe" in my messages. I guess we had been talking for longer than I thought.

"It's Carmen, she's wondering where I'm at," I said, breaking away from him. A lot of things were still unsaid, but I knew we didn't have to talk about it now. Elias called me several times over the summer, but I stopped answering after a while. It was also easier since he spent most of the summer in Miami with his grandparents, and I was working at my mom's pharmacy to distract myself.

None of that stopped me from stalking him on social media though. I kept tabs and watched all his stories, liked all his posts, and even got heated when he was tagged in a photo with another girl that I didn't know (which I found out was his cousin after I did extensive research on her respective account). All that to not realize he was roommates with Christian and Jordan.

"Let's go," he said before walking down the path towards the main yard of the campus. "Wow, I know it's been a few months, but damn Ember. You look different."

I could tell he was looking at my fiery red hair out in my parted afro. I dyed it a couple of weeks ago, when I was desperate for a change. I had hair falling into my eyes with how long it's gotten over the summer. "Good different or bad different?"

"Good, always," he answered, fingering the ends of my hair. Shivers rolled down my back. "The red with your natural hair looks great on you."

"Thank you," I replied, smiling shyly. It was like my brain reverted back to Scarsdale Ember, all nervous and shy whenever he spoke to me. And as much I wanted to keep this up, I knew I had to ask him about what Temi told me earlier. "Do you ever, y'know. Think about—?"

"Flame?" Elias surprised me by finishing my sentence, and my eyes went wide as I turned to him.

We were nearing the yard, and the event was in full swing. I could smell the various food trucks around the area, and hear the loud pop music blasting from the speakers. But maybe the sensory overload of it all caused me to mishear Elias.

"You've been thinking about it too?" I asked, stopping in my tracks. "I spoke to Temi the other day and he told me I should consider making it again. My mom fucked up my financial aid and I have a shit ton of money to pay back to the school."

He laughed and shook his head. "Crazy thing, I spoke to Temi too. Now things he was hinting at make sense. He conveniently forgot to mention that you go here when he was proposing I start the business back up."

Temi, that slick motherfucker. I knew him talking to both of us was no coincidence. He must think he's my fairy godmother or something with the way he likes to meddle in my life.

"Yeah, well, I don't know," I admitted, wringing my hands. "Scarsdale was a smaller, more controlled place. Here is much bigger, and we barely escaped last time. Who knows how much worse it would be?"

"We won't find out until we at least try," he said, with a shrug. "I could use the extra cash, honestly. I haven't really been speaking to my dad since the issue with my sister last year. That was one of the reasons I wanted to go away for school."

Damn, we were more alike than I thought. Him with his dad, me with my mom. My mother neglected to pay for things regarding me, Elias wanted nothing from his father regarding him.

"How was the aftermath, by the way?" I asked. "Were you ever able to get more information about Isabella?"

He sighed, and it crushed my spirits a bit. "No, but I was thinking of hiring a private investigator when school dies down a bit and I saved enough money. I can't look past the closed adoption, but I can at least figure out if she's better off in a new place instead of with me."

Although I wanted to be there for Elias, skepticism plagued my thoughts. An eighteen year old having custody of a five year old? It didn't seem likely, especially when there were no extenuating circumstances. It wasn't like what Carmen went through with Aaliyah, where a parent was dead. Still, I wordlessly placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. That seemed to be the right thing to do, because he slowed his walk to meet my eyes.

The familiar feeling of butterflies returned to my stomach, and I could feel the charged energy between us. I trailed my hand down his arm until our fingertips connected, and the warmth from his touch heightened to a spark. His silver eyes darkened to a stormy grey as his molten gaze dragged down to my lips.

"Hey, guys!" At the sound of Sage's voice, the moment was shattered and we jumped apart. I didn't even realize that we were by the edge of the bell tower already, behind a bunch of students sitting on the grass. The rest of our group was further down, thankfully not paying attention—with the exception of Sage, who sent me a knowing smirk. "Come join us. I was about to get some food."

Elias cleared his throat and walked ahead, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. "We'll talk later, Ember."

I nodded and watched as he walked towards Carmen and Keith, who were currently engaged in a heated, but friendly looking dispute. Knowing her, it was probably over some stupid shit like if ketchup went on fries or to be used as a dipping sauce.

"Okay, clearly I missed something or you have yet to tell me about what kind of relationship you and Elias had," Sage commented, snapping me out of my mini trance. "You were staring at him so hard, I half expected your eyeballs to jump out and start crip walking."

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Sage, please shut up."

Knowing I couldn't hold back on the information, I told her about the nature of what we used to be, minus all the shenanigans with Flame. I wasn't going to divulge everything; I just met her a few weeks ago. I haven't really decided if I could completely trust her as of yet.

Her eyes went wide when I finished explaining. "Damn, bro. That's intense. What are the odds that you end up at the same school again, and that he ends up being roommates with the only guys we met on campus?"

I chuckled humorlessly because I couldn't agree more. "For as long as I've known Elias, fate has had a funny way of fucking with the both of us."

We walked over to the taco truck and ordered some tacos. The cute girl who was taking our orders smiled at Sage as she hand us the change, and Sage smirked in return. The girl's forearms had a large tattoo that stretched from her fingers to beneath the black "El Jefe" t-shirt she wore, and her curly hair was pulled into a puff that sat atop the visor cap she wore. All in all, pretty. And Sage knew this when they brushed hands.

"Thank you," Sage said with a grin. "I always love getting things from beautiful girls."

"It must be your lucky day then, because that's one of my guilty pleasures too," the girl replied, and instantly I knew Sage met her match.

"Actually, it's my change," I cut in to grab the five dollar bill from my awestruck friend. "But thanks. I'll see you back at our spot—with all of our food, no eating my tacos, bitch!"

"You know I'm vegetarian, I don't want your nasty beef shit, hoe!" She yelled back in response as I made my way back to the group. I laughed as I plopped down next to Carmen.

She was the first to speak to me. "No food?"

"I left Sage to pick it up since she's busy macking on the food truck girl." Sage told us very early on in our friendship that she was pansexual, but I don't know what she said to Christian about her sexuality so I wasn't going to say anything on her behalf.

It was silent between us for a few moments before Carmen laughed. "It looks like our time here is gonna be similar to senior year, Ember. It's giving love triangle part two."

"What are you talking about?" I asked, confused. I didn't want things to remind me of Scarsdale at all.

"Both Elias and Jordan are staring at you, and it's not one of those 'I wanna be your friend' stares if you know what I mean," she said slyly, and I looked up at Elias to see him already staring at me. I then cast my eyes to Jordan and he was doing the same.

"I don't want a repeat of that, Carmen," I responded, moving my eyes back to her. "I still like Elias, but I don't think we should be together. But I'm not gonna make moves on his roommate, either. That's fucked up."

Carmen nodded in agreement and I sighed before looking around and taking in the sights. The layout on the center of campus where we were at was mostly patches of grass surrounded by academic buildings and directly in the center of it all was the historic North Atlantic bell tower. Apparently, it was used during the American Revolution to signal to troops about incoming British forces, which I learned during my campus tour the first week of school. In other words, its sole original purpose was to warn people of invaders and the damage they could do.

Was that me? Was I an invasion to Elias and his life that he was prepared to start without me?

My eyes betrayed my mind and I couldn't help but sneak another glance at him. To my surprise, he was still looking at me and quickly averted his gaze, almost like he was caught red handed.

Okay, so maybe we both weren't safe from each other. But the last thing I wanted to do was be saved if it meant I had to stay away from him.

——

word count: 3100 words

a/n: gosh the writer's block has been hitting my ass crazy for the past few months of this year. i don't know what i need to get inspired to write but i hope i find that shit soon fr.

i'm a teacher, so even though i love it, my jobs sucks the life out of me. i'll try to be more consistent, i really want to finish flame by the end of next year (hopefully)!

love you all,
ray