the past

I had a small glimmer of what notoriety was last year. Wait, a glimmer is too generous.

Picture this: you're in a supermarket, strolling down the aisle, when a beverage caches your eye. You stop the cart, which ceases the squeaky, un-oiled wheels from continuing that high pitch whine that you've had to put up with for the duration of your grocery run. Every check out lane has those mini refrigerators that hold behind its cool glass doors some new beverage that you've never heard of. But for some reason, the fizzy, sparkling water that boasts "Made with REAL Lime" catches your eye. You think, "hm, maybe if it could catch my eye, it must taste great!" You bring it with you to the zombified cashier, you pay for your items, and before you could even get home, your finger are already prying that metal tab open to get that delicious first sip.

And is it good? Hell no.

You realize the lime is barely there, as if someone whispered the word "lime" over the drink and decided that was enough to call it a fruit flavored beverage. That minuscule flavor on the tongue was akin to my brush with notoriety. Barely there, but if it whispered loud enough, you'd hear the impact.

Was I legendary in Scarsdale? Of course. I mean, who could forget the biggest scandal of our town where Elias Wolfe and I singlehandedly started an LSD drug ring amongst the local high schools in our county? But local was the key word. Nobody cares about Scarsdale outside of Scarsdale.

But now? I knew what I had to do. Who I had to become.

The loud sounds of the busy hallway grasped my attention as I meandered through the building, eager to find my dorm room assignment. It was filled with nervous freshmen like myself, worried parents fussing over the communal bathroom situation--which they weren't opposed to voicing, by the way. The amount of this isn't sanitary's and how often do they clean's was borderline ridiculous--and overly cheerful resident assistants. This anarchy did nothing to quell my anxiety pooling at the base of my stomach.

I stopped in front of room 207, and looked through the open door to see if any of my roommates were here yet. Surprisingly, I was the first one and it gave me an oppoprtunity to survey the space. For the freshman dorms I've seen, it was pretty spacious. There was a common area that had a couch and coffee table, and a makeshift dining table by the door as well. I guess signing up for last minute housing had its perks because I didn't expect to only have one other roommate for my first year.

"Hi!" I swiveled around to face an aforementioned RA who was proudly wearing a name tag that read: Nadia!! Ask Me Anaything!!! (and yes, the exclamation points were there, too). "I'm Nadia, your RA for the second floor, south east wing of The Commons. I see you're the first one here. Since you're lucky enough to be living in the corner dorm, I suggest picking the bedroom on the right. The sunrise is beautiful from out your window."

"Thanks," I said, settling my box down in the room. I thought she would've left after that, but she stayed in the room, which confused me. "Um, is there anything else?"

She looked around the room, before looking at her clipboard. "Sorry, what's your name?"

"It's Ember Gaines," I answered. "I'm probably not on your list because they just added me to student housing yesterday."

Her eyebrows furrowed before a look of understanding settled on her face as she wrote Gaines, Ember down on her sheet of paper that looked like a layout or a map. "Damn, this school knows how to get people."

Now it was my time to be confused. "Huh?"

"This room is super pricey for what it is," Nadia explained, dropping her voice to a low whisper, as if they hid mics around the room like this was reality television. "It's one of the only rooms on the floor that has individual rooms, which makes North Atlantic justify the huge price jump from a regular room down the hall. It's like a few thousand more a semester."

Sheesh, that was pretty expensive. It's not like this was worth that. But it didn't matter honestly, my college fund would cover most of it. A few loans here and there, and I was set.

My mom walked through the door, huffing and wheeling a cart full of my items through the threshold. Nadia waved hello to my mother, before departing to jump another unsuspecting floor mate of mine. "It's a zoo out there. I almost had to fight a kid just to get this cart."

I laughed and started to help her. "I hope you didn't scare the hell out of an already anxious kid, Mom."

She awkwardly patted my shoulder and began unpacking the items. There wasn't much to say, and I wanted to leave it at that. Our relationship was still rocky, but we both agreed to work on it after graduation. Mom didn't know how to show affection or emotions as well as she could, but she used acts of service to show how much she cared. Like the way she was commenting under her breath about the lack of central air as she started to hang items of my wardrobe in the tiny closet within my room.

"Hey, is this 207?" My ears twinged up at the familiar voice from the out in the corridor. Confused, I walked out into the common area and almost fainted.

"Oh my god, Carmen?!" I exclaimed, shocked and surprised. "What the fuck?"

Carmen was standing by the door of the second room, several bags in hand as her small frame teetered back and forth from the weight of it. I ran over to help her, but she dropped her bag and engulfed me in a hug. From the summer between graduation until now, Carmen looked extremely good. Gone were the days of her baggy hoodies and loose sweatpants, and here was the sun kissed childhood best friend I remembered from early high school.

We spoke before about how we were going to make sure we kept in touch going forward after we made up before. She said how she was going to Florida over the summer to visit her grandma before she was headed to Syracuse... or at least I thought she was.

"The chances of us going to the same school and then being roommates are nuts," I said, still in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

She sighed and shook her head. "The financial aid was crazy. When I first applied, I used my sister's income which you know was pretty low. But since my dad was paying, the federal aid was clipped. But NAU gave me a huge grant, so I switched schools in July."

Wow, small freaking world. I got off the waitlist in July, too. We were both latecomers, and for some reason it made me happy that I was at least able to go to a college I wanted to.

"Well, I'm happy you're here," I admitted, a smile on my face. "I got off the waitlist literally in the middle of summer when I was already wearing SUNY Buffalo gear. I thought I wasn't going to know anybody on campus and I was going to start fresh."

She sent me a smirk just as her sister, Aaliyah walked in. "Now you know damn well that's not true. Are you forgetting that your ex goes here, too?"

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Elias, my mind immediately gravitating toward him and our time together. Her words brought back up memories, and how we ended. I know we agreed to stay friends, but I couldn't be around him and keep things strictly platonic.

Back when we were at prom, we had already agreed to mutually break up for the best, but it didn't feel that way. I couldn't forget the peace he brought me while we were together, being a freind to my brother, getting Temi to speak to me again after I thought it wasn't possible. I could still remember the way his fingers skimmed my bare lower back as we slow danced together, and it took me back to the same charged moment we had at his house party months prior. I could still smell his woodsy cologne that gave me flashbacks to when he kissed me at Fall Fest, and he was forever engrained in the fabric of my being. After that, how the hell was I supposed to be okay with not kissing him whenever I felt compelled by the butterflies in my stomach? I stayed far away from him. If I couldn't be with Elias, I couldn't trust myself around him when we agreed to something. So us being at the same school was fine either way; almost 30,000 people attended NAU. The chances of me seeing him were pretty slim, right?

"Yeah, yeah," I opted to say instead of the ideas that plagued me. "I probably won't see him around, and even if I do, it is what it is."

Our conversation was cut short by the sound of yelling from down the hallway. We both poked our head out the doors, to see campus security barge into a room. The sound of keys reminded me of the police raid from last year, and honestly made me a bit uneasy. It was a stark reminder that I almost went to jail a few months ago for stupidly thinking I could make fast money dealing drugs.

One of the security guards hauled a lanky boy who was sulking out of the dorm, his demeanor more annoyed than anything. He shook off the man who held him tightly and rolled his eyes. "I'm already walking, get the hell off of me."

My eyes widened at a stressed out looking Nadia trailing behind, consoling shocked parents. "Don't worry everyone, we have a strict no tolerance policy to drugs or related paraphernalia. He will be escorted off campus housing."

Behind her, the guards carried five planter pots of probably the best weed I've seen in my life. As they walked through, I almost closed my eyes to inhale a huge whiff of the purple tinted buds on the leaves. Damn, he would've made such a good plug and it would've been convenient since he was down the hall.

"Yikes, that's crazy," Carmen commented, shaking her head. "On move-in day too. Looks like he should've taken some notes from you."

"Yeah," I agreed, but my mind wandered to the amount of money he could've made from just this dorm alone. For each plant, he would've made at least a thousand dollars, but if he wanted to he could've up-charged an ignorant small towner double or triple that. Then times five? The profit margin would've been nuts. But I shook those calculated thoughts from my head. I couldn't repeat my mistakes from last time. I owed that to myself. "But that's behind me. I learned my lesson."

As I said that statement, I meant every word. I was going to stay on my best behavior, keep my head down, and just ride out the next four years without doing too much. High school was my one taste of the essence of notoriety, and I planned on keeping it that way.

Too bad my life has an interesting way of fucking with me.

——
a/n: I'm baaaaaaaaack! :)

welcome again to the world of flame and Elias and Ember once again. he'll make an appearance soon, don't y'all worry.

don't forget to vote and comment! love you guys <3

-ray