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PREVIOUSLY...
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Ari opened up to Azura about his escape from the Tacree Kingdom and his mother's sacrifice. He also revealed that the Order was there to take him from Tacree. Azura and he grew closer and kissed. Suri offered to carve sygils into each of them—Lilja, Suri, Azura, and Ari— to link them together. If one of them were to perish, the respective sygils would lose its light. Ari already had one, but didn't reveal who it was linked to or whether it was still alight. Azura realised she cares deeply for these three people.

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The quiet of the library is soothing, but it doesn't make the task before me any easier. I sit with my head in my hands and my eyes feel like they're about to start bleeding. The book splayed before me is nonsensical. I can't even read the title of it.

I slump, my face thudding against the thick pages, and let out a muffled groan.

"Good book?"

I recognise the voice instantly but I don't bother lifting my head as Ari slips into the seat opposite me, papers rustling. Instead I answer him with a frustrated grunt.

Ari shifts the hair from the side of my face so he can meet my eye, his touch soft and his fingers warm. Amusement flickers in his gaze. "Do you need me to recommend you a different book?"

I let out a sigh and sit up, my fingers fiddling with the edge of the pages, nerves suddenly swimming in my stomach. "That won't help," I grumble.

Ari tilts his head, a question in his eyes.

I gnaw on my lower lip as I contemplate telling him. It's pathetic really. I've killed men twice my size, near starved to death, had my throat cut, but I still can't read. I still can't make sense of the words, no matter how hard I try or how long I stare at them.

Will he think less of me if I tell him?

I meet his eye and let out a breath. There's only one way to find out. "I can't read." The words are fast and clipped, tumbling from my lips before I get the chance to swallow them.

Ari's lips part and he looks down at the book before meeting my eye again. "Oh," is all he says before he presses his lips together.

My shoulders slump and I regret telling him. It'll be just another thing he can use against me, another weakness to exploit.

Then he says, "I can teach you."

My breath catches in my throat and all I can manage to do is stare at him.

"I mean, only if you'd like me to."

"Yes," I blurt, sitting straighter. "I'd like that very much."

"Great." He smiles before pushing his papers aside, filled with drawings. He takes my book and frowns at it. "Though maybe let's not start with this book."

"Why?"

He glances at the shelves of books around us, his gaze roving over the numerous spines and scrolls. "Because this book is rubbish. The Chosen Ones of Ninasha are rubbish." He reaches out and slips a book from the shelf and sets it on the table.

I sit forward, eager to learn. It warms my chest, this hope to be able to read, to be able to bury myself in stories without my brother glossing over the parts that made me hopeful for more. To say I'm eager is a gross understatement.

I give Ari an expectant look, my teeth worrying at my lip.

"We won't be needing this yet," he says, tapping the book, and I scowl. Ari just smiles at me and sets a blank piece of parchment and a pencil between us. "First, we start with letters."

I hum, such a thing making sense. I know most letters from my brother's teachings, but making them fit into words was always the part that left me confused. Like trying to complete a puzzle without all the pieces, but not knowing which pieces I was missing. "Okay."

Ari swirls his pencil on the paper and draws the first letter of the alphabet that I sound out without a problem. He does the next and I repeat it back to him. The third one I frown at and he spends several minutes teaching me how to pronounce it. Eventually I get it right and he congratulates me with a wide smile that I return.

Soon the page is filled with letters and my mouth is dry from repeating them so much. But instead of stopping, I grab the book and flip it open to the first page, licking my lips.

Ari chuckles and shakes his head. "We're not there yet," he says and I pout. "Now, we do simple sounds and syllables."

I continue to pout, but Ari reaches forward and brushes his fingertips against my lips. The touch sends sparks skittering down my spine and I meet his gaze.

"Is that acceptable?" he asks, his voice a low murmur and it takes me a moment to realise he's referring to our next step in learning to read.

I nod as he lowers his hand, my voice stuck somewhere in the back of my throat.

We move on and he begins writing combinations of letters that he's taught me to pronounce. This is the bit that I struggle with. Putting them together, making sure they stay in the order he writes them and my head doesn't jumble them. But Ari's patience runs deep and my stubbornness won't let me give this up. Together we trudge through it, eventually hitting more successes than failures.

I look at Ari, beyond grateful for his assistance, but also for his friendship. I touch the back of his hand as he's writing a word and he glances at me. "Thank you," I tell him with a breath.

He shrugs, brushing off his involvement in my learning like it's no big deal, but it is to me. "It's my pleasure," is all he says and if I had more confidence, I'd probably kiss him again.

I instead settle for squeezing his hand and return to my words, knowing I wouldn't give this friendship up for anything. And that thought sticks with me.

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Nerves are knotted in my stomach as I march through the halls of the school on a mission I don't feel prepared to undertake. I need to do this though. For Suri, Lilja, Ari, I need to do this.

I suddenly know what it's like to have something to live for, and I think I'm going to be sick.

I stop just outside the oak doors that lead to Palmira's office, the hum of voices coming from within. I nearly turn back, nearly run to my room and bury myself into trying to learn to read.

I take a moment to breathe, to close my eyes and remind myself why I'm doing this. The ball was a few nights ago now, but the memory and feelings are still fresh, warming my chest every time I think of them. That's why I'm here, and I refuse to forget it.

I thrust open the doors without another moment of hesitation.

Palmira sits behind her desk when I enter, papers strewn before her as she talks to Erasmus who sits opposite. Both of their gazes dart to me when I enter and Palmira raises a brow.

I shut the doors behind me and hope to also shut away my fear of this woman.

"I need to talk to you," I blurt.

"Clearly," she replies, leaning back in her chair. Her fiery gaze tracks me as I step further into the room.

I swallow before speaking again. "I'm not going to assassinate Emperor Ulric for you." The words take a moment to settle in the room, all the while my heart is a drum in my ear.

"Pardon?" she asks, her eyes narrowing a fraction.

"Assassinating the emperor is a death sentence, one I'm no longer willing to commit to," I elaborate before my nerves can betray me and seal my lips. "I don't believe I'm skilled enough to perform such a task and I..." My words falter as Palmira stands, adjusting the thick sleeves of her emerald dress.

"Things haven't changed, Azura," she tells me, her voice as smooth as ever without a hint of emotion. "You either do this, or you will never get the answers you seek."

"I don't even know if you have the answers. I'm not doing it." With that, I turn on my heel and storm from the room, a weight lifting from my shoulders now that it's done. I can live. Now that I don't have this responsibility looming over my head, I can live.

I can almost feel my brother frowning at me, telling me that I should be doing what I need to in order to gain answers. But he's not here anymore and I need to move on.

"Azura."

I stop at his voice with my teeth gritted.

So close to escaping.

I turn to Erasmus with narrowed eyes. "What?"

"We do have the answers you seek," he tells me, but I'm already shaking my head, refusing to be reeled in again and used. Erasmus stops before me and sighs. "I know what we're asking of you isn't easy, but it needs to be done."

"Find someone else," I growl.

"There is no one else. Only you can do this."

"Why?" I demand. "Why only me?"

Erasmus looks away, his lips pressed together. "When we were younger, before the Order, Mira and I witnessed something we shouldn't have and our lives have been shaped by it since." He glances down at me. "We saw what those marks do."

I look down at my gloved hand, my brows drawing together. "Then why won't you tell me?"

"Assassinating the emperor will tell you what they do."

My gaze is sharp as I look back up at him. "You want me to... use them? When I don't even know what they do?"

"We need to know you're capable of using them," he affirms.

My breathing quickens as I clench my hand into a fist, my chest beginning to ache. "I can't, Erasmus. You can't ask me to throw my life away on some whim that these marks do what you think they can."

Erasmus lowers his chin, his gaze becoming sorrowful as he looks at me. "I wouldn't be asking this of you if we weren't desperate to change the tide of this war."

I press my fingers into my temples, this entire conversation doing nothing to ease the nerves tangled within me. "I can't trust you."

"Then trust this. The man you were trying to kill in Warroll—Jile—we discovered where he's hiding."

My eyes widen, but all I can do is stare at him.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Azura," he continues. "If you can't trust Palmira, then trust me."

"You know? You know where Jile is?"

He nods.

I should feel elation, excitement, but instead all I feel is a burning in my gut. "Am I supposed to believe you only just discovered this? How long have you sat on this information, waiting to use it against me?"

"Azura..." he starts but my lip curls.

"Fine, you win. Clearly you have all this information stockpiled and the rest of us are left in the dark." I step forward, rage like molten liquid in my veins. "Tell me where Jile is and let me kill him, then I may consider doing what you bid."

Erasmus studies me for a long moment before he nods. "Very well, I'll take that."

"If it were anyone else doing this to me, Erasmus, I would cut them from their belly to their throat. But you... helped Suri and I suppose I owe you for that."

"You don't owe me anything, Azura. I just hope you'llfind it within yourself to do the right thing. For this war, we must all makesacrifices."