"Hey," Adam greeted as he walked into the room. Shiro sat in bed, his knees to his chest as he stared to the wall. Adam felt like the entire room radiated an awkward, almost bittersweet vibe. Shiro hummed a response, his eyes still focused on the wall.

Adam took a seat next to him on the bed. The mattress creaked under his weight.

"You okay?" He asked after a beat or two of silence. Shiro shrugged. Adam put his hand next to Shiro. He flexed his fingers, palm up to the ceiling. Shiro had his arms safely tucked under his chin, arms holding onto his shoulders. His gaze flickered to Adam's hand before returning to the spot they were at. Adam frowned.

"What's up?" He tried again. Maybe the night before was getting to him? A silent panic attack?

"I talked to Matt today." Shiro spoke. His voice was raspy and Adam noticed it sounded raw. It sounded like that time when, pre-Kerberos, he and Keith had gone riding in the dunes just to come back without their voices. Shiro said they screamed at the world and Keith refused to tell Adam what happened. He sensed a change back then, but never pressed for details. It seemed too heavy for him to try and wedge himself in anyway.

"Everything okay?" Adam decided to tread this lightly. Take precaution and make sure his tone wasn't accusing, but supportive.

"I think.. after my talk with Matt I think it's a good idea." Shiro said. He scooted away from Adam. His boyfriend looked at him, confused for a minute. Then it clicked.

"Oh, oh! You want to–" Shiro cut him off with a nod.

"I'm not sure how to, well, not sure how to do anything. Remember those books we used to read when characters would come back to life, essentially, and everything would be changed?" Shiro asked. He pressed his palm to his eyes, blinking frantically before gulping. Shiro curled more into himself, leaning away as Adam tried to hold one of his hands. Adam ignored the ping of hurt. Clearly Shiro was going through something right now. But what Adam had expected might not have been what he was debating based on his book tangent.

Adam decided to do the safe thing, play a bit dumb; "Yeah?"

This triggered another book tangent. Adam tried to follow along but he got confused again, what was Shiro meaning?

"Well right now I feel like one of those characters. I feel like I'm surrounded in everything and I'm so scared. I'm suppose to lead–"

Adam felt the need to interject. He needed to help him, make him see reason. "No one is expecting you to lead them, you're only human." He was trying to be nice. He just needed to help Shiro, this was a way he'd get help.

Shiro groaned. He uncurled himself and put his hands to his temples. His eyebrows were furred together as his shoulders tensed up.

"Adam, I have to! That episode last night was a set back, I need to be stronger." He said it like a dying man. Like someone who was trying to reassure himself. Adam felt his mouth go dry, why was he putting up such a fight? Adam took a deep breath.

"Stronger? Stronger than what? What could you possibly do to get stronger? Shiro it's okay not to be–"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to say.

"Don't finish that sentence. We're in a war, I don't get mental health days." He spat it out like whatever words left his mouth was venom on his tongue. Adam felt his frustration and confusion turn into hot anger. He decided to meet Shiro's tone with the same emotion Shiro was throwing at him.

"I know you're frustrated and scared but–"

This also was the wrong thing to say. It was as if Adam's words had throw was gasoline to the fire driving through him. Shiro got off the bed and turned to him. His eyes didn't meet his but his body leaned in. Adam first thought that he was going to be kissed, some sort of anger-fueled passion. But it was quickly shattered when Shiro yelled back at him.

"You have no idea what I'm feeling!"

Shiro knew that he sounded like some sort of emo preteen, much like he had heard from Keith. The only people who might have understood was his team, the only one he knew that did understood was Matt.

"I feel like sometimes I don't want to wake up. The world is so big, and everything is so loud and scary. I– I wanted my family to be safe, but nothing feels like it's mine anymore. My memories are jumbled, I shake at random things and feel like something is watching me every day. I've obsessively started to lock my bedroom door and make sure I have some sort of thing to use as a weapon near me. It just seems easier to.. to not get out of bed, to sleep until everything is done and I can say it's over."  Matt's words rang in his head. He sounded so defeated, but Shiro knew. He knew exactly what Matt was describing.

"I think I do, actually I know I do." Adam insisted. He put a first down on the bed. He got up and close to Shiro. Their noses were close enough to touch, but Shiro pulled himself away before he began to argue again.

"All because you calmed me down in a moment of weakness doesn't mean–"

"That wasn't weakness, Shiro! That was you being human. That was you catching up to everything that's happened to you." Adam felt like a therapist. Except he wasn't, this pity filled argument was getting to him. Shiro had to see reason, he told himself, he had to.

"That's not for you to decide, Adam." Shiro's word we're clipped. His fist was clenched to his side, Adam looked at his prosthetic. He got a bitter taste in his mouth.

"I'm not deciding anything, I'm telling you that it's okay!"

"No it's not, they're expecting— no they need me to be great!"

"Who?!" Adam gave him a pointed look. Shiro groaned and felt his hands flex. His arms were moving, making stupid gestures as frustration built its way up in him.

"My team!"

Shiro was so tired. He just wanted everything to stop, for the world to slow down so he could try to catch up.

"When will you get that I'm part of your team too? I'm on your side!" Adam was yelling now. He got up into Shiro's face again. He ignored the tightness in his chest and the brief flicker of panic in Shiro's eyes. He'd be fine, he'd work through this. Adam just had to push him enough.

Shiro trembled. Adam couldn't tell if it was from bubbling rage or trying not to cry.

"Like hell you are." Shiro spat at him,

"You don't.. you don't mean that." His voice was small. He sounded almost meek but the way he carried himself betrayed any chance of thinking Adam was genuinely sorry.

"Yeah, we'll maybe I do."

"You're saying things out of hurt and anger." Adam pinched the bridge of his nose. His glasses left red indents on his face. His tone made it seem like he was trying to convince himself rather than Shiro.

Shiro felt himself snap. He was done, done with this conversation and completely done with Adam and his meddling.

"Fuck this. Just leave me alone, Adam. You don't know what's happening, you don't know what I've gone through."

It was Adam's turn to leave. His turn to go off to space and Shiro's turn to stay on Earth. Whatever fucked up sense of karma was in the universe had to help Shiro. Why out him through all this suffering just for him to suffer more? This fight was the icing on top of the trauma cupcake Hunk once made. He wanted to let everything go, loose whatever hostility he had left in his system and just go for a walk. Clear everything before trying something again. Anything to ignore the impending doom that was closing in on Shiro the further the conversation went.

"Your flashbacks last night gave me enough to go off of."

If Lance was there, he would say this was when "shit really hit the fan!" Hunk and Pidge would agree and Keith would probably want to stab someone, which wouldn't surprise him.

"How could you say that? Why would you even think to bring that up?!" Instead of a flood of anger Shiro expected, he just felt hurt. His heart ached and his eyes stung.

"You need to accept it Shiro, you're traumatized. But you have people who can help you, I want to help you!" Adam continued sprouting whatever he had heard others say. This just fueled Shiro's desire to leave. Or fight back, Shiro was too tired to even think about it rationally.

"How? How can you help me when I can't even help myself! I don't even need help!"

"Takahashi you do! You just said you were drowning because of the war."

"Stop putting words in my mouth! I said I was having a bit of trouble adapting to the newer world. You're looking too deep into this!"

Maybe if Shiro deflected hard enough Adam would leave. Maybe if Adam left he would feel better. Maybe if he just could take an eternity nap the war wouldn't be his problem anymore. It was wishful thinking, but his mouth instead wanted to continue shouting at Adam.

"What if I'm not? You're fighting me on this because you're scared, I get it. But don't for a moment think that you can take this out on me without me being at least the slightest bit concerned!" Adam saw he was getting nowhere.

"Well you should stop then, I'm fine! I don't get to fall apart like you're trying to bait me to do!"

"Bait you?! Now who's 'putting words in my mouth'!"

"When will you get that's I am okay! I'm fine!"
Shiro reinforced. It was like a broken record going off in his head. He was fine, a bit messed up but he couldn't afford weakness. Or even a nap. That realization made his mood shittier.

"And when will you get it through your thick skull that I'm trying to help you! I love you, but you need help. You're turning into some sort of psycho because I'm just telling you what's best for you!"

"A psycho?! I am acting completely normal, I talked to Matt and he feels the same!"
Adam paused. His face was blank. Maybe he understood, maybe he would say he was wrong. Maybe they could move past this. That flicker of hope died in Shiro's chest the next time Adam opened his mouth.

"He thinks this is normal? Shiro you're different, you came back and now everything is just–"

"Did you expect me not to change?! Adam I lost my arm!"

"Yeah, well I lost my fiancé!"

"You have me here!"

"No, here I have whatever the Galra left when they tortured you! They might have taken away an arm but I lost you! I have to live with you now, this isn't just your life it's affected. It's mine too! I'm stuck picking up the pieces."

Shiro paled. Adam let out a few jagged breaths. Anger made hot tears appear in his eyes. Every blink made more tears run down his face. His chest was tight, like a coil of hot metal around his core.

Shiro was silent for a minute. He pressed his lips in a thin line before finally meeting Adam's eyes. Through gritted teeth he uttered two words; "Get out."

Adam thought he misheard him at first. Had he really just told him to get out? No, Adam decided, he was just trying to help Shiro.

"What?" He said. His voice was smaller than he intended, he sounded more shocked than he felt. After all, Shiro and he were a team. Whether he saw it or not, Adam just wanted the best for him. He loved him. And Shiro loved him just as much.

"I said get the fuck out of my room!"

Or maybe not...

"You can't just–"

"I can! Leave me alone, Adam. You went off about having to pick up the pieces, about fixing us! Well this is me telling you that you don't have to. Leave if you're so fucking miserable."

Adam felt himself deflate.