My head was killing me. Cold wracked my body in shivers but the fiery furnace of Noah was a blessing and a curse. I snuggled closer to him trying to gather heat as rain poured. The upside was the rain influenced the reporters outside; they fled like ants in the wet. Noah gate was finally clear of people. But he was like a man on a mission carrying me towards Folsom Lake.

Rain in California is always sparse but when it does rain, it's like a woman dancing like no one's looking. It fell without regard or care raining its little heart out.

Even as Noah carried me towards the lake, I slipped in and out of sleep. His heavy footfalls squished into the native California wild grass that was so uncustom to the rainfall. Noah's hold on me tight and possessive made sleep such a tantalizing thing even with the headache. Whatever happened, I was staying with Noah and I was going to fight tooth and nail for my kids.

The thought of my kids made a little tiny whimper leave my throat, and he pulled me in tighter. It was an absence I knew was coming and like a wound I curled around the pain and into Noah tighter.

I center myself on Noah and his purposeful steps. A beautiful dock with a tiny dinghy boat on the water. Rain slowed down to a drizzle and pinged gently on the water. A pit with wood in the center and an overhang over part of the deck. Six wood deck chairs surround the pit. Noah places me in the deck chair and pulls out towels from the basket under the chair. Then he lights the pit fire.

"Noah, is this what you were building?" I asked him. My head was so tired. It leaned to the side as I watched him clean things up.

"Yes, we need to get you dry." Noah says to me as he carefully wipes my tired body down. The heat of the fire warmed my dark skin with its gentle cracks and pops. He pats my hair dry and I wish I had something to put it up properly. My tired fingers are arranging it so it wouldn't be a complete mess. Even though it had been just 3 days since we fell asleep at the lake last time. I forgot to put my hair up then too, so the issue was being compounded. Then on top of that I didn't put my hair up when I half fell asleep at the station. A lifetime of properly putting my hair away 99% of the time getting ruined by multiple days of not being careful. When I take my braids out for the natural curl and have my half afro up my hair won't be as happy as it could be.

The thought was a little odd but absolutely true. And I liked that I could still smile at the thought as I watched him drying my legs near the fire.

"I don't want to go home." The idea of going home tonight without the kids being there was too much for me. But at least it didn't bring forth a whimper of pain. Nothing was right anymore. I was tired to my bones and couldn't even lift my head. But as tired as I was, Noah was probably more exhausted. He had about as bad of at night at the station as I had today. The cops didn't even bother to put a bandaid on his cuts. They just left it raw until the bleeding stopped. On his jeans the blood stains were half washed out from the rain.

"Do you want to go back to my loft?" Noah asks concern painted all over his expression. He was nervous, and I realized even though it was a moment for me to say that. But for him to reply he was probably rethinking and thinking thousands of times of what to say to me. He had that mind working too hard face he gets. So for him it was a lifetime. Noah was letting me go so I could salvage things and be with my kids. Still taking careful steps back from me hedging his bet. He cared about me enough to let me go without anger, it was for me and the kids. And I love him the most for it.

"No, Noah, not the loft." It was his small place above the warehouse where he slept, it was ok. It really was fine, but you have to climb up. A space so cramped, I couldn't even move my head. The cold had already seeped, and I felt the fever that had already come on drying my throat. "I'm ok here, I don't want to go anywhere. Please, don't make me."

"Ok," he replies one word. A single word that felt so closed ended it was like he was shutting a door. So, I guess he knew I didn't enjoy the loft after all. It wasn't bad, it was just not a great place for two people when it was made for one enormous beloved man to barely fit.

I wanted to ask him more questions about the dock. "When did you build the dock?"

"The first week I came back." He answered me quickly, concisely as always. The deck area was stunning, and I wish he told me about it sooner. It must have been where he kept walking off to.

He slips me out of my clothes and pulls more out of the boxes under the chairs. With a weary soul I slide into sleep on the chair. Surrounded by the smell of him, salt, and earthy trees. When he put his well worn henley on my naked body my half open eyes didn't even binge. He slipped the clean thin material over my cold body. The soft cotton rub against my nipples and my eyes fully came open. I smiled at him, fever and all. But his expression was still so troubled. I had to think of something to make him smile.

"Thank you for the jewelry set. I wish you had told me it was for me when you got it." He smiles and that shy smile I love was out in full force. So happy to see it. "Next time when you get a big gift let's talk about it together before you get it." I didn't want him wasting his money on me. Although, I will treasure what he got me. I wanted to make sure that he knew that wasn't what I valued about my caring man. But instead of the smile I expected to keep seeing I instead got his glance behind me that was worried. Ocean eyes, filled with something unnamable. I'd thrown him through so many loops besides the other drama. "I loved what you got me and everything you do. Do you think I'm mad at you?" He thinks about it for a second and glances behind me again. That grumpy expression doesn't leave him. "I couldn't be mad at you Noah. Might not always understand but it's very hard to be mad at you. Even if I was, it's damn near impossible to stay mad at you." We might not always get each other sometimes but staying away from each other is unfeasible. And I watch him think about it then he finally agrees with a nod.

"Hey Noah," I said with a sleepy smile. It was the same thing I said the first time we met. I knew the second he remembered the words. Noah had one of those rare happy Neptune smiles where his ocean gaze meets mine. And just like that first time so long ago he didn't respond to me. But this time though something was different, he met my eyes. I see our whole damn world together in those ocean blues. This kind beloved man was mine. He pulls me into his arms properly picking me up to set me in the chair. Then he puts a sheepskin blanket over me. The inner lining is silky and warm against the thin material of the old well-worn cotton shirt. My leg poked out of the sheepskin blanket stubbornly escaping the warmth. He made sure to move it until I was snuggly under the cover.

"I'm going to get the blanket dirty." And sheep skin was a bitch to clean. But the sheepskin blanket was luxurious against me, warming me from outside to in. Combined with light bouncing against the fire it was as pretty as any fairy dance. Noah toweled himself off those pretty lights dancing on his thick body and my greedy gaze drank him in. Forever thirsty for this man in the many ways I could get him he takes off his dirty clothes and folds them with mine. All neat and nice like any son of a military man would. And a lot of him made more and more sense every day we were together. That insight into the inner Neptune bit by bit meant so much to me.

"Do not worry about the blanket. I got it for you." He said it smoothly but had no idea how stupid happy that made me. If I had a tiny bit of energy, I'd be kissing him. While he's profoundly rocking my world, he puts on sweatpants on his still shirtless body. Chest hair looks scruffy but not too thick. All I wanted to do was put my nose there and smell him. Noah reached for me on the deck chair pulling me up casually.

"Don't move me while I'm sleeping please." I wasn't fully used to being carried around as if I weighed next to nothing. Thickness was gifted to me and I've always been happy with it. But it also meant that I wasn't accustomed to someone picking me up and throwing me around. Noah can do that without much of a second thought about it. Waking up in Zoey's house wasn't something I wanted. Those terrible memories of that the night after he left still plagued me. I didn't want him to be nice, and I ended up there again without him.

Waking up somewhere without any loaded emotions but the good ones. I was really looking forward to it. Reminded me of the night when we were by Folsom Lake and all the pretty blue flowers. It wasn't the time of year again that was April showers that bring Lupine super blooms. But this place has many wonderful memories. Hell, it was our first splendid memories together.

Noah shifted me on top of him in his lap. Legs hanging over the side of his well muscled meaty thighs. My head falls, so it's on to his soft chest hair tickling my ear. His heart beats steady, a thump that is almost a lullaby that lulls me into sleep. The night is still so dark and the only light is the bonfire. He wraps the soft sheepskin blanket around me and it covers both of us with little room to spare. Noah's body is a wonder furnace of heat. It was just me and Noah and it was enough for now. His arms were around me and I wiggled down into my spot.

"I love you, Noah, night." I whisper to him and mostly talk into his chest. But I felt the smile on the top of my head.

"I got you, night Shiny," Noah answered, and oh, how deeply he really did have me.

A/n: I've done eat pray love. Been super emotional and taken a bit of a break. Thank you for waiting for the end of the story. I am so thankful for all of your well wishes. Getting back on the horse when you fall off happens. Y'all are dear to me. Thank you.