I was running late so damn late for the appointment. I've begun taking on more clients but getting Space Girl to Space Camp wasn't going to be easy. Deep down inside I felt she needed it and I was going to stretch my ass off trying to get it for her. I made no promises, but I was going to try. Snatching the phone from the dash firing off another text to Noah's Agent for a meeting time with her. It was a quick message about the meeting to return the costume jewelry at my apartment. In a safe lock box, I didn't think it would be stolen it was a pretty friendly neighborhood. We stayed in the same school district and neighborhood on purpose. But many things can happen and I'd rather have it returned. Even fancy fake costume jewelry isn't cheap. I chuck the phone into my bag. The car makes a sad dying cow sound even with the engine off, great another problem.

The car door slams and I run to the front door of the storefront bought by my friend Carly. Cleaning it is on the agenda for the opening coming up next year. The CakeMe sign is going up in a few days. It was once a dive fast-food restaurant, but she's turning it into a business. The type of place where she does food base content creation. She plans on serving cakes and food. It's a good idea because you're always left with tons of food when you make stuff. More than even the crew could eat and it could help her refine her recipes in a good way. She hired a great sous chef who has the experience to act as a full-time chef. It should work out for the times when she is at YouTube events or other events. It's what she's been pushing towards for years with her channel. But, lateness when helping your friend makes me the ass.

The seating area was cleaned up already. Walls strip down and the trash that was everywhere when she bought it was gone. I headed to the kitchen it was a mix of new and old stainless steel. Half the kitchen had been replaced. The kitchen is completely clean. My best friends sitting at a table in the side of the kitchen. Warmth spreads through me and a little guilt at missing out. Cocktails and cakes were on the table. They were laughing together, and I held my breath at the familiar sight. Eve, my younger cousin leaning in with her devilish smile on display. Jo-Lee head tilted toward Eve. I could guess they were causing trouble together again. Because they are always causing trouble together. You'd never know that Jo-Lee was more than ten years her senior the way she cut up with Eve the youngest of us. Carly, doing an impression of my mother I'm too familiar with. My Moms impact on Eve, Carly, and my life has been so large. But Carly takes after her even though she isn't related at all to my mom. She just has this way about her and this belief that lights her up. Her honey-kissed complexion was ruddy with laughter. She says the Spanish word instead of the English words then switches again to English. She does it absentmindedly. It's a habit from our childhood and her mom is the same way. Her eyes come up to mine and when she sees me, maybe she knows. I feel like I missed everything and stuff is just fucked up. I've not exactly been hiding things from them but with no time to talk to anyone, it's basically the same effect.

Carly tilts her head at me stopping the laughter and conversation happening at the table. All three of my friend's eyes fall on me. I'm not sure why that was a trigger for everything but it was. I slipped it all a dam of words that I just had to get the fuck out of me. Sim hiding things from me, taking on a ton more work, and not having time for shit is stressing me the fuck out. All of it flows out except Noah... Noah.. completely messed up. But I left that in the pot. Our breakup wasn't a secret I kept from them but it wasn't like anything changed. Fucking, doesn't make a relationship it just makes fucking. But for the most part, the stress fell from me like water. And it was good to get it gone.

Jo-Lee pushes the mini cake and cocktail in front of me with a, "You need this." I took it. I trusted someone else to work out the rest of it because I need to let it go. Sometimes you can't carry it anymore not one more single step.

I got caught up on where my girls were at. Carly, and the modern bakery. The wood is antiqued and Distressed look with splashes of purple. I could almost see her vision of what it looked like when it was done. Carly also said she was inviting her ex-boyfriend. Three of us sighed together and Carly missed it. She has a habit of believing in love even if someone might not be worthy of all of it. Her ex-boyfriend is one she's had since high school. They've been on and off again for years. Through her college years and into adulthood. It's messy because they do a sort of work, sort of being the key word. Not in the same way that Theo and I sort of worked until we didn't. Their relationship is like a blinking light bulb. You can almost see it working then something happens. If I was going to describe her ex-boyfriend Emilio I'd say nothing is wrong with him. But nothing is right with him either. He's missing that big moment or a series of small ones in a row that says they have something. The man just takes up space, and that's not really a nice thing to say about anyone but it's him in a nutshell. He's filler that she's investing so much to make work. Not a bad guy at all. But he wants it less than her.

"I think we can make it work this time," she says her eyes shifting between us. And all of us doing our darndest to not make eye contact. A part of me expected Jo-Lee to say something, but she didn't. She was just as willfully not stepping on the landmine the same as Eve and I wasn't. We needed a change in topic badly.

"I got a sponsor," Jo-Lee pips up before the dead air happens. It was my third cocktail well on the way to being smashed. Eve goes into my bag pulling out my keys and I lift my glass to her. Jo-Lee pulls out the VR kit from her bag. "Demoanica," she squeals. We do not know what she's talking about. She takes more out of her bag and it's like a clown car of kink. A huge bottle of edible lube, with six other small sampler bottles. A gummy dildo, with other butterfly vibrators.

"Oh," I burst out in tears of laughter I see where this is going even before my other friends do.

"Demoanica, the third biggest sex shop on the internet." She says it is fully like a practice sponsor ad. "A wide listing of farm-raised pasture-based products. As well as anything you could want to fulfill the moan inside of you." I smiled at Jo-Lee getting the bag as she did. Completely out of the box but getting sponsorship means stability. You can have patronage and it works out as well. But sponsorship means something different and more. One sponsor can easily turn into more. Sponsors invite you to places where you can connect with more people that can open a lot of doors. Jo-Lee kept pulling out sex toy items, a dong large enough that it's almost the size of her forearm. A rabbit dildo still in the package, Eve picked it up, and the package went off like a bomb vibrating. A shocked expression exploded across Eve's face as she put it down in a fit of giggles. It was like a Willy Wonka except he fucking. It was so Jo-Lee I couldn't handle the level of Jo-Lee it was. Completely went into fits of laughter joining Eve. Carly, was in a kind of state of shock.

"Is this for us?" Eve asks picking up the edible lube. She shakes her head.

"Think I'd forget my girls," Jo-Lee said. Eve takes the lube opens the wrapping and tries it out.

"Cherry," Eve smiles. I had to get myself together as Carly breaks out into a wide smile.

"I'm proud of you Jo-Lee," and I was proud of her. This was huge. She was a single mother longer than I was with the death of her husband in the war. This kind of stability in the type of career she chooses would mean the world. I lean over and hugged her. More arms wrap around me and turn into a big boosy cake hug of warmth.

"Make sure you take the lube, it's fantastic. I recommend anal." Jo-Lee says with a smile into my neck.

"Jo! I scream and laugh. "Can you fucking lube up the anal conversation? Warm up to it or something like that." Jo over here just slinging that out of nowhere.

"What... What's a little anal between friends?" Says Jo-Lee with a giggle.

"Can you spread out the words Jo, really?" Said Carly, with a smile echoing my point. We break the hug and return to our spots at the table.

"Well, that's the plan Carly, just relax into it. Where all friends here." Jo pats my back and I snort laughter.

Eve giggles, "Yeah, what's a little anal between friends?" Stirring the pot with Jo-Lee again.

"Not my thing," says Carly.

"Why it's fun?" Jo Lee asks. She is filled with puzzlement, not her normal Cheshire cat smile.

"We tried, but it wasn't great," Carly replies.

"With the Ex?" Eve asks.

"Yup, not enjoyable at all." She says with the finality of a limp noodle in spoiled milk. All around ew. Jo-Lee takes a sip of her cocktail with a rotten expression. She's even less of a fan of Carly's Ex than she was of Theo. Jo-Lee always seems thirty seconds from smacking the shit out of Carly's Ex whenever he's in range.

"It's a good experience to have with the right person or the right right now," Jo-Lee says fishing off her cocktail. "But, if they don't make it worthwhile it isn't going to be fun. Your pleasure has to be a priority for it to work out." Before getting caught as the last one to say something which always seems to be the most loaded spot.

"I've never done it. Theo wasn't into it. Not that he or I ever asked for it." Theo, at least with me was very traditional in the sex department it was good and traditional. The thought of Noah popped into my mind unbidden. He was always so fascinated with everything. Because almost everything was new for him. But he wasn't exactly traditional like Theo was. He had greediness about my body even when mad, always so hungry. Stopping to think about it the water god I always called him Neptune was just as thirsty as I was. A constant need that pulled me just as sure as hearing a siren's song. The thought of doing that kind of intimacy with Noah, his enormous hands all over me. That... I had to stop thinking because my nipples were getting hard and this ain't the place.

Jo Lee was making a twirling hand motion with her hand. I realize the obscene ass shit she was doing coming back into the conversation. The woman has no chill. "He worked me so hard I thought I was going to need a rub down like some horse." She said it in a full southern bell accent. The more graphic she got about her anal escapades. She finishes off her cocktail rolling her eyes back as if she had a spell of the faint full southern bell. Eve and I both threw our napkins at her.

"Ok, you got me, I'll put it on the list to right out with Mr. Right Now or Mr. Right," said Carly. Her eyes connect with mine and her smile slides away. That expression when I first walked in returned. She stirs her cocktail and takes a little of the icing that was on the plate and puts it in her mouth. "Tari, what happen to you at the party, one minute you were there the next you weren't? No text saying you were leaving at the event?" She stares me down, "I was worried."

Guilt set in, "I'm sorry, I had a meeting with Noah and it didn't go well." Eve and Jo-Lee's eyebrows both shot up.

Carly, took my hand her eyes had this turbulence in them. She knew from the second I walked through that door how off I was. I had to get it off my chest if I was going to move forward. I told them what happen and left nothing out for once.

"I did wonder what happen to you at the event that was one hell of a.." Eve didn't even finish. Ya, fucked up.

"You got deep dicked," Jo-Lee said.

"She got fucking dick down, damn," Eve chimed in. "I didn't know Noah had that in him. He seems so nice."

"He is nice,.... he's probably the nicest man I've ever known even angry. No curse words, barely any raised voices just sad." It was painful but there was more to it. That shattered look in his eyes had so much and I couldn't even categorize it all. I'd spend most of my time last year figuring out what Noah's few words and glances meant. It started out as a job and became more. But I didn't know it was that shattered. It was more than hurt and a part of me feared that more than hurt. So, much so that even when he was deep inside me my eyes slid away from his pain. The man I adored watching were the eyes I couldn't gaze into anymore.

Carly said nothing, but she didn't let my hand go.

The weight was lighter still there but lighter. I made my decision and yes a part of me doubts myself deeply. But I didn't doubt the fact that even if it was done wrong, it was the right choice for my family. We needed steady. Something I could control was where my input going and I wanted it in a place I could move forward from. Also, where my kids wouldn't get confused with the way Noah and their relationship were shaping up. I saw the way my kids treated Noah. There are so few people they want to tell everything to like that and their aunties, my mom, and I are about it. They want to give play-by-play and are excited when we pay attention. Where they don't fear their dad being too busy and be seen not heard shit. Maybe the bar was low but stability means a lot to me.

We stayed together getting fully drunk. Eve called rides for us and got drunk with us. It was a wonderful night and my meeting with Shar Noah's art Agent was tomorrow. Sleeping it off would be a bitch but I was enjoying myself too much with my friends. I turn Carly's hand in my over and as we talked about her dreams for her restaurant; I was happy for her. She was moving forward in her life and that was wonderful. But I love her even more for the fact she didn't let go of my hand because I needed it.

A/n: we got a lil nugget I'm posting in two days that's under 1k. Then we are back to normal on the post. We got Noah back to Fridays. Hopefully, we can get the tour back to Thursdays. That way if I wanted to add more projects it would be on Thurs, Friday, Sat. (nerdy back office stuff but it makes me happy. Just smile and nod lol.