Book
Love Mystery by @Afrojarose15

ANALYSIS

Plot:

As a full-time detective, Khaotung gets a case of a series of murderers and thieves stirring in the city. He gets to the place of investigation and that's where he meets First, a bar owner in the area. After many investigations, the clues all come together to First. He is fishy. But in the meantime, Khao had already fallen for First's charms.

Will he be able to trust First or will he confront him about the case??

Does Khao have faith in his lover? Is the leader of the group really First?

(Taken from the description)

Characters:

The main characters of the story are Khaotung (a focused and intelligent detective) and First (a run and outgoing bar owner). The side characters are Khaotung's assistants and the antagonist of the story. The other characters are practically just extras.

Writing Style: 4/10

The story is written in 3rd person POV. The story focuses on Khaotung's thought process mainly. We can only see the dialogue of others and less about their body language, except when necessary. There is however a switch after chapter 2 to 1st person POV. We get for both Khaotung and First

Spellings and Vocabulary: 7/10

There are only a few spelling and punctuation errors to look out for. The vocabulary used here is simple and easy to understand.

EVALUATION :

Overall Impression:

The story is good but the delivery of the plot can be worked on. The chemistry between the two is the hope of the book and I am loving it.

Strengths & Weaknesses:

The story is very unique and quite different from the typical fanfiction. However, the delivery of the story gets weaker per chapter.

Recommendation:

When giving a physical description of the character, avoid going on an unnecessary explanation. For example, "he was wearing a dark blue blazer with black pants..." Instead, try to mold the physical descriptions into the story like. Something like this, "His hands slipped naturally into the pockets of his black pants..." "His white shirt heavily contrasted the walls of his office as he leaned on them, file in hand..."

Write the story as if you are watching a drama. If you could make the entire story follow the format of Chapter 3, that would boost your writing by 70%.

Try to maintain consistency in your writing. Don't be detailed at first and then suddenly switch to scarce details.

Try to show more evidence that points to First's involvement. This will further justify Khao's actions and reactions towards him. Work on showing the conflict of mind and heart in Khao's POV.

Target Audience: 15-25

Reviewed by : Kanye_Ariel