Trigger warning :)

Today everything fell apart. Today nothing went right, no matter how much Remington tried to fix it all. He thinks he tried so hard that he didn't really let himself see what had to be done.

Emerson had invited himself into Remington and Andy's place while the boy was alone in the building. Andy had a long day in the studio. He still isn't home, not yet. Remington wishes he was. Perhaps if the man never left this morning then the awful awful fight with Emerson never would have happened. Maybe then they'd still have a drummer.

But things aren't like that. No. Things are bad.

The boy was playing the piano when Emerson barged into the house. He asked why his brother was there and got no real answer.

"I know what you did," Emerson had said, threateningly so.

Remington didn't understand. He frowned. "Are you drunk?" He asked, because he felt cornered and was trying to make light of the situation.

The younger shook his head. Remington couldn't tell if he was telling the truth or not. "Neither were you."

"What?"

"You weren't drunk," he said, "so it's all your fault."

"What's all my fault?"

Emerson laughed. "You know what," he taunted, and it made Remington feel so small and insignificant, as though Emerson didn't give two shits about him.

"You've lost me," the singer said, trying to stay calm, to not wonder what his brother was hiding as he stood in front of him.

"Honestly, Remington, I wish I could lose you."

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Never mind. You wouldn't get it. Just...I know what you did and I know that you meant to do it and I don't regret what I did."

Remington wondered if Emerson was high. "Don't regret what?"

"What I did," Emerson repeated. He sounded as though someone else was inside his body.

"Will you just tell me what you're going on about?"

"You, a random girl, a bar, your tongue, her mouth. Ring any bells?"

Remington shook his head. "Nope," he answered, "no bells rang."

"You cheated on Holly," Emerson suddenly exclaimed, and Remington flinched.

It's impossible to hear the girl's name and not see her in his mind. "What?"

"We went to a bar and you made out with another girl!"

"No, Emerson, we-wait, what do you mean, you don't regret what you did? What did you do?"

"Nothing, I did nothing."

Remington frowned. "No, you said you don't regret what you did. Tell me what you did."

"I didn't do anything." That response didn't sit well with the older. He could tell Emerson was lying and he hated that Emerson was lying to him.

"Yes you did. You just said you did."

Emerson stayed quiet.

"Look, I didn't cheat on Hol-on her. We broke up the day before. She only came to the bar to find a one night stand. We talked about it. She knew I kissed that girl and I knew she slept with some guy."

Suddenly Emerson hoped he wasn't really here, that it was some sort of fucked up dream. "No, that doesn't-"

"Doesn't what, hmm? Why does it matter to you?"

"I..."

"I would never cheat. You know that. I couldn't ever hurt anyone like that." He frowned. "What did you do, Emerson?"

The conversation soon escalated into a fight. The moment Emerson finally admitted to what he had done, to what he said to Holly, Remington threw himself angrily at the man. He screamed and kicked and Emerson punched him hard in the jaw. Remington stumbled back at the impact and covered his face with his shaking hands. He felt sick and terrified and like his brother wasn't his brother. And he wanted to erase the past ten minutes and never think about it again.

He hasn't told anyone about it, not yet. He didn't call Sebastian or Abigail, and not even Andy. He couldn't think. He could see things at a thousand miles an hour and he could feel things that weren't there and it felt like he was two different people, but also no one, all at the same time.

Right now he's lying face down on the bed because he's scared that if he looks up he'll see Holly and he'll have a panic attack or relapse or something. Maybe if he stays here forever then he never has to confront what he's just found out. Maybe he could just sink into the bed and disappear from the awful reality of the situation. It's one of those moments when he wants to cry so badly that he can't. God, he wants to scream until he can never sing again, because maybe then he wouldn't ever have to face the fact that his band is in pieces and his life is in pieces and he is in pieces. So many pieces he can't remember what it ever felt like to be complete.

The men are having a coffee break in the studio when Andy's called outside because someone wants to talk to him. The man sighs heavily when he sees it's Emerson, and he crosses his arms. "Yes?" He asks, "can I help you?"

"Listen, don't ask what happened because I couldn't explain, but...I punched Remington and I thought you might need to know."

"You what?"

Emerson looks away. "We were having a fight. He started kicking me so I punched him. Look, just-I don't know-make sure he's okay."

"Like you care about him being okay after punching him."

"I know, Andy, I fucked up!"

"Yeah, you really fucking did. I mean what the hell were you thinking? You know what he's been through! You can't go punching him when he's having a moment, Emerson! You just can't!"

Emerson looks at the man like he's about to spill his whole life story, but he doesn't say anything.

"What is it?" Andy asks, agitated now he knows that Remington's probably in pieces at home.

"What he's been through," Emerson says, "with Holly. I...I told her to do that."

"What?"

"I thought he cheated on her. I told her to make him pay for it."

Andy breathes in like he's about to throw Emerson to the ground. He doesn't respond. He can't. He just turns and goes inside to get his things so he can go home.