Trigger warning

The night is lonely. It's the second night without his wedding ring on and Andy doesn't even know why he's bothering to stay alive at this point. Sloane didn't let him go home yesterday until she was sure he'd be safe and made him promise to call her if he was really thinking of trying something.

Lying in the bed feels all wrong now that Remington may never be lying here with him again. Andy strokes Jenny and wonders is she can tell how sad he is. He remembers reading somewhere that cats know when their owner is sad.

He's half asleep when the screen on his phone lights up and it vibrates, and the man picks it up. There's a text from Sebastian.

U doing OK?

Andy almost tries to laugh.
No Im gonna kms tomorrow

I'm gonna come over so u aren't alone.

No, don't do that

I'm on my way.

The man, yawning, stands up and descends the stairs, knowing it won't take for long for Sebastian to get here, and makes a mug of tea while he waits. He opens the door when there's a knock and looks at the guitarist through helpless, dull eyes.

Sebastian steps into the house and closes the front door softly. "Hi, buddy."

"Hi," Andy whispers, "how's Remington?"

"Pretty upset, but he's safe at hospital. I wanted to make sure you're safe, too." He rubs Andy's shoulder sympathetically. "Here, come sit. I'm gonna stay with you tonight, okay?"

"You don't need to do that," Andy insists, not seeing why he's so important.

The younger shakes his head, dismissing Andy's weak attempt at getting him to go. "I want to."

"Fine. If you're staying, then I could do with a hug." He's brought into Sebastian's arms just as soon as he's finished speaking, making sure not to spill the hot tea in his hand. "I fucked up," he says.

"You need to talk to him," Sebastian advises, "but get some sleep first."

Andy sighs, leaning into the man. "I don't want to sleep," he mumbles, "it's all wrong without Remington."

"You need to sleep, Andy."

"I can't." He pulls back from the hug and sips the tea. "God, why is this happening?" His voice is tired. Clearly he isn't getting enough sleep. He puts the mug down and presses the heels of his hands into his eyes and groans. "I keep ruining everything," he complains, fed up with his own mistakes.

"Hey now, let's not think like that. Come sit. Remington wanted me to give you something."

"He did?"

Sebastian nods, guiding Andy towards the living room and picking up the man's tea on the way. "He wouldn't tell me what, but here, I'm gonna go find a blanket."

"Okay," Andy mumbles, taking the folded paper from the guitarist. "I think the blanket's on the end of the bed." He looks at the paper in his hand, leans back on the couch, and unfolds it. The writing is messy compared to Remington's usual hand writing and Andy realises the boy was probably seeing through tears as he wrote it. Just the opening makes him want to burst into tears. 

Andy, darling, please don't cry. Not over this. Not over me.

The man looks away from the page for a moment. He can hear Remington's voice and it hurts in his heart.

I wish I knew what to say but honestly I don't. I just know that I fucked up. Big time. Maybe because I am a fuck up myself. But you're not a fuck up and I hope you don't think you are. I don't blame you for how to reacted. I understand. I understand that it's my fault, that what I did and said to you was so wrong and that I hurt you and I made you hurt yourself. I'm so sorry. I never ever want you to hurt. I know I might never see you again because I fucked up and you don't want me anymore, so I need you to know that, even if you don't love me, I love you. I always will. I don't believe in soulmates but I do believe that if they existed, then you'd be mine. And if you can no longer be mine, I will always be yours. My heart with always be with you even if yours isn't with me.

I just want you to be happy and I thought that I made you sad and I know that's my brain being fucked up and I wish I realised that before I ruined everything. Your ring is on a piece of string around my neck and if you never want it back I will never take it off. I thought you should know that.

Anyway, sorry for making zero sense. I'm crying too much to think. I love you.

All my regrets and all my love, Remington.

Andy folds the paper up again, bringing his hands up to his face and closing his eyes. "It's confirmed," he says outloud, "I've ruined his life."

Coming back into the room, blanket in hand, Sebastian sits beside the sad man. "No you haven't. Everything is going to be just fine."

"He thinks I don't love him anymore." 

"Come with me to see him tomorrow, okay? Tell him you love him and give him a hug. He won't let me or Em touch him because he just wants you."

Andy sighs. "I can't, I'll have a panic attack."

Sebastian shakes his head. "Oh no, I know what you're doing," he says, shaking out the blanket. "You're finding excuses to not see him because you're scared that you'll upset him if you see him. Remington does it all the time. I'm gonna make you come with me. You guys belong together."

"I'm not doing that," Andy argues, too exhausted to raise his voice.

"You so are."

The older looks away, unsatisfied.

"Look, I know you're scared of making things worse but I promise you, the moment you step into that room Remington will throw himself at you and things will be okay, because he needs you. Everyone knows it. I think the only person who doesn't know it is you."

"I'm not scared," Andy insists, even though he is but it feels wrong for him to be admitting it. He's never been this exposed and this vulnerable infront of anyone apart from Remington before. It seems almost selfish to be making this such a big deal when he's the one who broke Remington's heart in the first place.

Letting the blanket fall onto Andy's lap, Sebastian reaches for the television remote. "Trust me on this, Andy. Come with me tomorrow and it'll be okay. I promise."

Andy just wonders if it really will be that simple.