Trigger warning

Palayeconfessions747: No. 47- I feel like Remington has been really distant these past few weeks. Am I the only one who's noticed how he hasn't posted once on social media for weeks? And his brothers and Andy haven't said a thing about him, either.

User 1: I agree. Even when he was posting, it seemes like he didn't really want to. It's pretty obvious he doesn't like social media. Though it is odd. He used to post all the time.

User 2: He's said that it's bad for his mental health. There's no reason for us to speculate. Let him be.

User 3: @user2 agreed. He has his own life outside of entertaining us. And he already told us how bad his mental health is and how he's been in mental insitutions before. It's rude for any of us to be complaining about it when his health is way more important.

User 4: @user3 everyone struggles with their mental health sometimes. The fact that he always uses it as an excuse to get out of doing his job is fucking stupid.

Andy sighs. What will it take for them to just leave the poor boy alone? He doesn't understand why he's tagged in these posts, why poeple think it's wise for the poeple they're bitching about to see what's being said. It's sad to see how much of a game they turn Remington's life into.

He's stressed, if he's being honest. About Remington, and Kacey, and what's going to happen once the singer comes home. Andy loves Kacey. Of course he does. And he knows Remington does, too, that the boy would be devestated if he never saw her again. But he really doesn't think having her to be responsible for is good for him. Not because he'd be a bad parent, but because he worries about anyone except for himself, and having a child to look after would only increase that. Remington would never think about himself, never give himself time off. He'd spiral. Andy is sure of it. He'd stop talking about his mental state because he'd be so concentrated on Kacey, and it'd push him over the edge. Andy just knows it. He's not stupid. He's been with Remington for so long and he's seen the things that trigger him, the things that help him, and a child is possibly the worst thing for him.

It breaks Andy's heart. He knows how much Remington wants a child. He remebers the arguments they had about it a while ago. But his opinion hasn't changed. Remington isn't stable enough for that. Andy isn't sure if he ever will be. And it's sad, because he loves Kacey, but it'd be unfair on her, too, for them to adopt her and for her to witness Remington on his bad days. No child should see their guardian like that.

And Remington would insist that she wouldn't see, that he'll be fine, but that's just not realistic. Remington won't let himself believe how bad for him a child would be. Thinking about it hurts him. And he's had enough hurting.

And right now he's hurting.

He's sad. Because his brothers aren't willing to wait for him. And that hurts. Sebastian called him a waste of time. He might've well said he's a waste of space, too. It's true. Remington knows it is.

Group therapy is boring. He doesn't see the point in hearing strangers talking about their problems. It's supposed to make him feel less alone, but it doesn't. It makes him feel stupid because no one else seems to be making such a big deal out of their feelings as he is. He doesn't understand how they can just openly talk about it. It scares him.

They're talking about anger today. A man a few chairs away from him is talking. "I'm angry at myself," he says, "for letting it get so bad before asking for help."

Remington rolls his eyes. "Is that it?" He asks rather rudely.

"What?"

The boy shakes his head. "I mean...all you're angry at is yourself. That's what everyone fucking says."

"Remington, we don't swear in here, remember. It's a safe place." The leader cuts in.

"Safe place my fucking ass. As if everyone in here isn't judging everyone else."

"You're so dramatic," someone says.

"Yeah, like I haven't heard that before," he mumbles, bored and homesick. "Can I go?"

The leader sighs. "No. There's only ten minutes left."

Remington crosses his arm and huffs. "This is fucking pointless," he says under his breath.

The person next to him gives him a rude look. "You're pointless," he retorts.

"Marco, we don't talk negatively about anyone here."

"Well it's true," the guy says. "He just complains about how bad his life is, says the same things over and over again, and doesn't talk to anyone."

Remington stands up and kicks his chair with a clatter. "Shut the fuck up!" He shouts, storming towards the door and slamming it behind him. An outburst was bound to happen. He's tired, bored, missing Andy, and upset because of his brothers fucking him over. He feels like he's irrelivent to them and it hurts.

As he's walking down the hall, he starts seeing the stalker again, lying in the corridor, bloody and dead. Remington shakes his head but he doesn't go away. He rubs his eyes and tells himself that it's not real, but the ghost-like figure doesn't go away. In fact, he gets closer, and Remington darts into his room and closes the door, hoping the figure will someone stay outside.

It doesn't work, obviously, and he sits under the desk shaking as the stalker get closer. He covers his face with his hands and inhales sharply, knowing what's coming but wishing he could stop it. "Stop it," he whispers. The man gets nearer and Remington whimpers. "It's not real," he reminds himself, shuddering. "Just go away."

"You're a murderer," the guy taunts, "you murdered me."

Remington shakes his head. "No..." His breath catches in his throat and he pulls his knees up.

"Yes you are. You know you are."

The boy shivers. He feels sick. "No..." he repeats, "no!"

"You killed me!"

"Stop it."

"You're a murderer!"

He whimpers. "Shut up."

The stalker laughs now. "You're a joke, Remington."

"Go away."

"You're so pathetic."

Remington chokes out breaths, teary and scared. He puts his head between his knees and tries to comfort himself, jumping when he feels a hand on him and banging his head on the table above him. "Fuck!" The boy cries, grabbing his head and sobbing, and realises there's no one there. "Fucking hell! Calm the fuck down! CALM DOWN!"

Of course, it doesn't work like that.