Trigger warning :)

Lonely, Remington thinks to himself, I'm so fucking lonely. Andy is at home with Kacey, my brothers don't want me, and I have no friends here.

He can't stop thinking about what Sebastian said yesterday. How his life being on hold doesn't mean they should wait for him. What if no one will wait? What if Andy gets bored of visiting hours and finds someone else? That would surely be too much to handle.

Remington doesn't feel like drawing today. All he wants to do is lie on the bed and think about how fucked up he is, and that no one actually wants him, not really. People say they care, that they're here for him, but it's so easy to lie, to smile and offer support when Remington doesn't need it. But when he does need it; where are they then?

Without really meaning to, he draws blood from his arm when he bites into it rather deep to stop himself crying. He tastes it in his mouth and swears, covering the wound with his other hand and getting off the bed. His arm feels almost numb and he realises how much blood is dripping between his fingers, tries to stop it from getting on the floor as he walks, until a doctor walking the opposite way sees and swiftly takes him into the sick ward. "What happened?" She asks, holding padding to the bite while he sits on a bed.

The boy doesn't feel right. "Didn't mean to," he answers.

She tells him to hold the pad to his arm while she gets a bandage and some disinfectant wipes. "How long has it been bleeding?"

"I don't know, not that long. I think I'm gonna faint."

"Don't move your hand. We need to wait for it to stop bleeding. Do you want some water?"

Remington can hardly nod. "I'm so dizzy," he stutters.

"Okay, lie down. I'll tape that on so you can let go. Deep breaths."

He does as she says, carefully and slowly moving, lying back with his head on the pillow and feeling as he presses medical tape to his arm to keep the padding in place. She's gone for a moment and returns with water, Remington leaning up to drink it and then relaxing back into the matress. "I bit really deep," he tells her, words slurring because of his dizzy state.

The woman notices that he's bleeding through the padding and calls in another doctor to help her. They quickly replace the pad and decide it's best to send Remington to sleep.

Remington wakes almost two hours later with a bandage around his arm and a fuzzy memory of what happened. The frst thing he sees is Andy, frowns, and wonders if he's halucinating. But then he remebers that it's visiting day.

Andy smiles gently. "They gave you stitches," he says, "hug?"

"How long've you been 'ere?" He sounds tired, like he's given up.

"Ten minutes or so. Are you okay? Wanna talk about it?"

"I really didn't mean to," Remington insists, rubbing his eyes.

The man sits on the bed. "What happened?" His lap is soon situated with the younger's head and he strokes his hair.

Remington briefly wonders where Kacey is before answering. "I was-I was trying not to cry, and I just-just tried too hard."

"Oh sweetie. It's okay to cry."

"I know, but..." He sighs. "I don't like crying when you're not here. Because I can never stop and it makes me feel so pathetic."

Andy looks at his bandaged arm and wishes he could take all his husband's pain away forever, so that he would never feel the need to harm himself again. "You're not pathetic."

It does feel better with Andy here, he must admit. "You have to say that."

"I do, because it's true, not just because I love you. You're the strongest person I know, and I mean that."

Remington feels so conflicted. There's so much going on in his head and he wishes there was a way to have a break from it all without being gone forever. "When can I go home? I'm so lonely here."

"Two weeks, I believe. I heard Sebastian talked to you. How did that go?" He doesn't really know why he's asking. He already knows it won't have gone well.

"Don't wanna talk about it," Remington mumbles, "can you tell me you love me? I need it."

Humming, Andy draws soothing fingers over Remington's shoulder, letting the boy know that he's here. "I love you, my beautiful baby boy," he practically sings, "what's your number?"

The younger shrugs, finding one of Andy's hands with his own. "Twenty eight. 's not like I wanna die, Andy, I just-'s a bad day. But I feel a bit better now. 'n I love you, too."

Andy smiles. "You're cute."

"How's Kacey?"

"She's doing great. She's waiting in the entrance for me. I can get her if you wanna say hello. When they told me you were in here again I thought you might just wanna talk to me for a bit."

Remington puts his legs over Andy's. "You were right," he says, starting to cheer up. "I don't want her seeing me like this. It feels wrong."

"I know I was right. It was completely an accident, wasn't it?" He's referring to Remington biting himself, and the boy knows that.

He hesitates but then nods.

"Sure? You know you can tell me if it was even just a little bit intentional."

"No, really, it was a accident. I promise." He looks up at Andy. "Can you shout at Sebastian again please?"

Andy chuckles, hearing Remington's lonliness drifting away now that he's here. It's a shame that it'll return once he goes. "What did he say?"

"That I'm not important and he won't wait for me because it's a waste of time."

"That guy. For a clever person he can be really fucking stupid. I'll have a word, don't worry."

"Can I just go home today?"

"Sorry princess, but you know it doesn't work like that."

Remington huffs. "Do you think I'm a murderer?"

The older is surprised at the sudden change in conversation. "No, not at all."

"Just 'cause...I killed someone."

"Sweetheart, it was self defense."

"How? He didn't attack me when I stabbed him. He was standing still. I attacked him."

Andy shakes his head. "He was stalking you and attacking you for months. It was self defense."

Remington doesn't say anything else. It was murder. He knows it was.