Trigger warning. poor Remington :(

For the first night that Kacey is gone, Remington has a nightmare. It's filled with Holly and the stalker and then he sees Holly attacking Kacey, and he screams and screams at her to stop but she doesn't. He screams so much that he can't breathe, and doesn't even know if he's screaming in the nightmare or in real life. But the nightmare feels like real life. He knows something is wrong with Kacey. He can feel it. Something has happened. Her mother has hurt her, or locked her out of the house, or something. Just something bad. He doesn't know how he knows, he just does.

When he wakes he's short of breath and darts out of bed and to the bin, throwing up into it and groaning. He looks down at the bin and figures that if he's already been sick, what's the harm in making it happen again? And so, for the fist time since he's been here, which is nearly two weeks now, Remington sticks his fingers right down his throat, gagging hard and painfully and puking up last nights food, eyes teary.

He's forced to stop when a doctor comes in and pulls his hand from his mouth, but tries to fight against the man, insisting that he 'needs to do it'. He's taken into a bathroom and given water and told to rinse out his mouth and wash his hands. The doctor walks him back to his room and takes the bin to empty it out. Remington lies on his bed looking at the photos and drawings on the wall. The day Kacey left, he tore out one of the colouring pages they did together and stuck it to the wall next to the photo of Andy and him in Greece. The colouring is so bright and pretty and Kacey is so good at knowing what colours go well together.

The doctor comes back and gives him some sleeping pills so he doesn't spend the rest of the night lying awake, and he falls into a dreamless, artificial sleep, waking up feeling more tired than he should be. He knows why, too. Because his anxiety is through the roof and his mind is on overdrive. The boy sits up and rubs his eyes, trying to bring himself out of this depressive state but not really knowing how to do that. He rubs his eyes until he's seeing white flicker under his eyelids. Who knew that caring for someone could hurt so much? The worry, the fear of them not being okay, the uncertainty. God, it's so hard. He would give anything for Kacey to come back and be okay and never have to see her mother again.

But he can't do anything. Because he's stuck here and she's gone and that's the end of it. She's too good for him, anyway. So pure and innocent. Not like Remington. No, he's damaged and depressed and spends most of his time wondering why he's even alive at all. His wrist doesn't feel small enough when he wraps his fingers around it. It should be thinner. More delicate. He should be thinner. He's only pretty when he's thin. That's what they kept saying. All those photos that they post on fan accounts. The ones with the most likes are photos from shows from the tour when he wasn't eating. Screenshots from livestreams when he wasn't eating. Everyone likes him when he's not eating.

He doesn't bother looking through the drawers for any clothes, and just pulls on what he was wearing yesterday, when everything was fine and Kacey was safe. But she's not safe now. She's with her mother. He knows it and he hates it.

At breakfast time he sits in the canteen, forces down a spoonful of cereal. But it tastes wrong and his stomach rejects it and he's sick on the floor, coughing and not bothering to fight against the man who pulls him out of the chair and helps him out of the canteen. Remington is taken into the sick ward and connected to a feeding tube, despite him repeating how they can't do that to him, that he'd rather die.

He knows they have to do it. That they can't risk him losing weight. But it makes him feel so helpless. Some little boy in a hospital bed, unable to feed himself. Unable to fucking look after himself. And all he can think about is Kacey, and how scared he is for her. God, he's fucking terrified. She's only fourteen. She deserves a kind mother, a loving parent. Not some alcoholic, chain smoking abuser. He can't bear the thought of anyone else going through what Holly put him through. He wouldn't wish it on his worst fucking enemy.

His therapist comes to talk to him at around midday, when he's sat up in bed reading a book. "You're gonna be taken off the tube tomorrow morning," he explains, "but will be put back on if you're still struggling to eat tomorrow."

Remington just nods, stopping himself from messing with the tape on his face. It's an all too familiar feeling, and he wonders if he'll ever get better from this. Everytime he thinks he's getting better he ends up back in hospital. What's the point of having hope anymore?

Kacey sits in Andy's living room next to the man, a woman from social services on the other sofa. She looks kind. A change from her mother. "Your mum has been reported for neglect and abuse," she begins, "by Andy, I believe."

The man nods.

"She is being investigated today, but I wanted to come and have a chat with you, okay?"

Kacey looks at Andy before nodding.

"I need you to tell me about your mum."

The girl looks down as she talks. She tells the woman what she told Remington, about how often she's left home alone, that her mother didn't care when she tried to overdose. She tells her everything.