Trigger warnings: Mentions of eating disorders. Have an easy chapter before things get FUN

Also I'm in need of more music, leave some song/band recommendations for me! (Yes I still need to listen to Waterpark's I'm sorry Leaf idk why I haven't done it yet.)

In his same spot in Abigail's, Remington kicks his shoes off and sits with his legs beneath him.

"How're we doing?" Abigail asks, "anything to tell me about?"

"Me and Andy worked everything out."

"That's great."

The boy nods. "And I made friends with someone from group therapy."

"That's good, Remington."

He picks up the glass of water she poured for him. "It's just..."

Abigail looks up from her notebook at him. "Something bothering you?"

Remington nods, hesitates.

"It's okay, no rush. We'll come back to it a bit later, alright?"

"Okay."

"Why don't you tell me how your eating's going?"

"It's fine," the boy mumbles, "I just kinda think I might be heading for a relapse." He sips the water again. "And it kinda feels like I shouldn't be relapsing anymore 'cause everyone thinks I'm better."

Abigail hums. "It's okay to not be better. All you can do is deal with it the best that you can every day and you're doing that. If you relapse once in a while, that's alright." She pauses so he can process everything. "And it's wonderful that you're able to feel when a relapse might be approaching. That shows you're gaining that important control over the disorder."

"But how do I not relapse?"

"Sometimes you can't stop it completely, Remington. What you're dealing with is a very intense, complex thing, and if sometimes, inevitably, it gets too much, the best thing for you to do is to tell someone, like you're doing now, and do as much as you can to keep yourself from going completely off the rails. If you have a few shaky days, or even weeks, that's okay. You're not expected to be suddenly better."

Remington sighs, looks down. "I'm going on tour with Andy soon," he tells her, "what if it happens then? 'cause Andy, he might be too busy to help and-'nd it makes it worse when I'm not at home."

"I think you should tell him that you're worried a relapse might come, okay? You know he only wants you to be happy and healthy and I'm sure if he knows he can do his best to help you. He's helped before, hasn't he?"

The boy nods.

"Tell me how he helps."

"He just-he knows how to make me eat when I don't wanna."

"Yeah? How does that make you feel while it's happening?"

"Kinda...I kinda am mad at him for little bit 'cause it's like-if he loves me why would he make me do that? But then I remember that he just wants me to not die."

"What happens when you're mad with him?"

"I just shout." Remington plays with his fingers. "And then I feel bad for shouting."

"It's good you can understand why he's making you eat, and it's okay to feel angry about it, too. You've programmed your mind to see food and think it's the enemy. Understanding that is a great step to take."

"Can we talk about the guy I made friends with now?"

"Of course we can. I take it something about him is bothering you?"

Remington nods.

"Would you like to tell me what he's called first?"

"Marcus."

"Okay. Do you and Marcus spend a lot amount of time together?"

The boy nods.

"And what do you tend to talk about? Anything sensitive?"

"Mostly stuff to do with eating."

Abigail nods. She refills his glass. "What is it about him that's bothering you?"

"He-uh-he just asks a lot of questions."

"Can you give me an example?"

Remington looks at his hands as he answers. "Like-like if I would take-uh-diet pills again, or-or whether I regret getting, like, diagnosed."

"How do you handle these questions? Have you told him they make you a little uncomfortable?"

"No, but I do keep saying that he never tells me anything about his anorexia."

"Do you want him to?"

"Dunno."

"How did you two become friends?" Abigail asks.

"He just kinda kept talking to me."

"And are you happy with it? Do you like being his friend?"

"I like-it's nice to talk to someone who has what I do, but..."

"But you wish he'd tell you more about his struggles with it?"

Remington nods.

"Okay. I agree with you, Remington, I think it's a little weird for him to be asking questions like that. Has he made you feel unsafe at all?"

"He did ask if I would ever try knife play."

"Really?"

The boy nods, picks up the glass of water. "He already knew what Holly had done. Everyone knows now, basically. He said sorry when I reminded him but I just-it kinda threw me off, y'know? Like-like even if he did forget, why would you ask a mentally ill person if they've tried knife play? What sort of question is that?"

"What did you tell him when he asked this?"

"I was sorta' startled by it so I tried to, like, brush it off. I don't know. I didn't like it."

Abigail watches him move on the couch and pick up a cushion to hold.

"And I feel kinda stupid now 'cause I've told him all this stuff and what if that was a mistake?"

"You're not stupid for wanting to talk with someone who you can relate to. That's normal, Remington, and it shows you're willing to push your boundaries which is exactly what we want you to be doing. Beating this is all about pushing through what you aren't comfortable with."

"But..." He sighs, not knowing what else to say.

"I'm glad you told me. I want you to keep me updated on any conversations you have with him, alright? If he makes you feel unsafe, tell him."

"Okay."

"Is there anything else we need to talk about today? I've noticed you're not scratching recently. That's great."

"I'm not?"

"Not from what I'm seeing, no. Have a look at your wrists, tell me if it looks like you have been."

Remington does as she says. "You're right," he says happily, "that makes me feel better."

Abigail smiles. "That's good to hear. If you didn't even notice, that's really good. It means you're not thinking about it like you used to."

"Wait, there is something else."

"What's that?"

"He said he was having a bad day but then drank a really creamy coffee without any problems. I could never do that, not even on days that weren't bad."

"Keep an eye out for anything else, okay? And do let me know what else he asks you."

"I will."

"Remember, though, that not everyone deals with it the same as you. He might have been struggling with it internally."

Remington nods. "I know."

"Is that everything for today?"

The boy nods.

"Okay. Let's have some quiet time to make sense of it all in our heads."

Remington sits with his face in the cushion while they're quiet. Abigail started ending their sessions this way after a particularly stressful day Remington had. She found it helped him to calm down and settle his thoughts before going home, so that he wouldn't feel as overwhelmed. Sometimes, when he's shaky or overly worried about something, she talks him through everything they discussed in a simple manner so that he has a chance to properly understand it all. When it's not so bad, she lets him sit quietly while she fills in her session notes.

I wish I could tell you in words how excited I am for the things that are coming but I physically cannot so you'll just have to wait and see also you're allowed to hate me