Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande is like my fave song rn I'm confused?? The chorus just slaps tho

Trigger warning: Mentions of eating disorders, self harm, suicide. Three updates in a day, u can tell I'm excited.

Emerson struggles to keep up the five hundred calorie limit for a week. He has to keep reminding himself of the need for him to do it. Not for the purpose of becoming thin, which is why he imagines most would do it. No, it's to stop Phoebe from doing anything more to harm Remington. On the sixth morning, once he's out of bed, Emerson nearly collapses with dizziness. He has to sit back on his bed and wait for it to pass.

He meets Phoebe for lunch, though, of course, has no lunch. "I trust we're below five hundred," she checks.

"Yes, and I'm starving."

Phoebe smiles. "Remington would be jealous."

"I won't do this forever. If I collapse, I'm telling someone."

"Well then, we'll make the documentary."

"What fucking documentary?"

"You'll find out in due time. Have you lost any weight yet?"

"Don't know. Haven't checked."

"Please do."

Emerson looks away. "You know he'll die if he relapses again."

"Mhm."

"That's your big idea? Starve me until he starves himself into another heart attack? And then wait for Andy to inevitably kill himself? God knows Sebastian will follow. Then I go, too. That's what you want? A whole family gone just because Remington and Andy told you your band wouldn't be successful?" He can't look at her.

"It's not my fault your brother's such a weak person."

"Oh, shut up."

* * *

Remington wakes fairly late. Andy's already downstairs. He gets out of bed, goes to the top of the stairs and calls. "Can you come to the bathroom with me?" He asks.

"Sure, one sec," Andy calls back, not needing to question him. He soon appears at the bottom of the stairs.

"Thanks," the boy smiles, turning and heading for the bathroom. "Oh, I'm meeting Marcus again today."

Andy hums. "You and him are good friends, huh?"

"It's just nice to talk to someone who has anorexia too."

Standing in the doorway, Andy hums again. "Well as long as you're not triggering eachother."

"'course not."

"Sure?"

Remington looks at him. "Yeah, why?"

"You must be getting urges again if you needed me to stand here."

"Yeah, but the other urges."

"Right, got it. Sorry. Done?"

"Mhm." He flushes the toilet. "Love you."

Andy smiles. "I love you too, princess." He makes sure the boy has something for breakfast before kissing him and wishing him a good day. Remington walks down to the café they decided on, sitting and waiting for Marcus, who looks as though he's been crying.

Remington frowns, waits for him to sit down before asking if he's okay.

"I'm having a bad day," Marcus explains, vague as ever.

"Oh no, that sucks."

The man wipes his eyes and Remington can't help but think he seems almost to be exaggerating it. And he'd never leave the house on a bad day. "How are you, anyway?" Marcus asks.

Remington shrugs. "Not bad. Kinda wanted to cut myself earlier but I didn't."

"You do that?"

The boy stops himself from seeming shocked. He forgets that not everyone knows. "Yep."

"Why?"

"Because it feels kinda good for a sec." He stands up to order, returning a minute or two later with a tray, two mugs of coffee on it. He hands one to his friend and sits back down. "So why were you crying?"

"Told you. Bad day."

"Yeah, but what in particular is bad about it?"

Marcus gives him an unimpressed look.

"I don't mean to pry, it's just-well you ask so much about me, which is fine, but I'd like to know about you, too."

"No, it's fine, I just don't wanna talk about it."

Remington swirls a teaspoon in his drink. "I don't get you."

"What?"

"You go from this real confident guy, almost like some interviewer firing questions at me, and then suddenly you won't talk about it."

The man chuckles to hide his fear that Remington might crack his cover too early on. "There are many layers to me," is his excuse, "I'm not trying to be rude if I come across that way."

"Okay, sorry."

"You ever done drugs?"

Remington looks at him, surprised. "No, obviously. I'd be dead by now if I did."

"You never wanted to try?"

"No."

"Fair enough. Bit of a goody two shoes, huh?"

"No, I just don't need something else to become addicted to. Diet pills and self harm is enough, thanks." He sips his coffee. "And Andy might also divorce me if I did drugs."

"You mention him a lot."

"Mhm."

"Why?"

Remington raises an eyebrow and puts his drink down. "You're being all interview-y again," he tells Marcus, "and it's because I love him and he makes me happy."

"Ah, you're that sorta couple."

"What sorta couple?"

"The boring type. Y'know, the ones who never fight, who have boring sex in the same position, who don't have dirty nicknames or any nicknames at all, for that matter."

"You're so wrong and it's hilarious."

Marcus smiles. "How so?"

"We spilt for six months over a bad fight. He has a gazillion nicknames for me. And our sex is not boring."

"Ever tried knife play?"

The boy clears his throat, thrown off by the question. "No, I'd probably have a panic attack. Y'know, 'cause of the whole 'raped by my ex who then stabbed me' thing?"

"Oh shit, sorry."

"Yeah, maybe don't go down that road." Remington notices how Marcus isn't bothered by the milky, sugary drink, that he isn't phased even though he said he's having a bad day. He thinks that's a bit strange.

* * *

It's only been six days and Emerson feels like he might die of starvation. He can't imagine how Remington did it over and over - often without even one hundred calories a day - and didn't just feel like quitting. It gives him another layer of respect for the boy. He hadn't considered how awful it was to be actually starving. And he realises it must be worse in Remington's case, since he does it because he hates how he looks when he's not starving. It's an intensely personal thing for him. Emerson is merely doing it because he's being forced to.

* * *

Andy doesn't like how much time his husband is spending with Marcus. He feels like Remington doesn't want him, that he isn't making him feel better anymore. Like his lover might leave him for this anorexic guy who he's know for five minutes.

He thinks he needs something to make it go away for a while.

Du du duhhhhh tension