Drop any requests for one shots about Rem and Andy in this book, I'll start writing them soon.

On Instagram, me and @aaawsten are gonna read fanfics on IG TV, so if you'd like us to read yours one week (bear in mind we'd be making jokes) comment here or dm on Instagram @palaye.support.network

Trigger warning: Mentions of anorexia

Remington is sitting in bed, Andy in the shower, looking at his phone when it buzzes. He's got a message from Kassandra.

Phoebe is really sorry.

Idc

Please don't hate us, we know you were just helping.

I don't hate u. I just don't feel comfortable talking to u.

Why??

omg I give up use your damn brain.

"Andy!" He calls, and the man shouts a response. "Am I allowed to murder someone?"

"Who are you murdering?"

Remington gets off the bed and goes into the bathroom. "Fuckin' Phoebe," he says, sitting on the toilet seat and looking at his husband.

"Ugh, fuckin' Phoebe," Andy agrees, "that bitch."

"Kassandra keeps texting me. Please don't hate us. Fuck off." He picks up a bar of soap from beside the sink. "Should I just block her number?"

"Yeah, maybe."

"You know you look real good."

Andy chuckles. "Thanks."

"Are you nearly done?"

"Why?"

"'cause cuddles."

"Gimme five minutes, okay?"

Remington pouts but agrees, standing up and throwing the soap playfully at Andy. He lies on his front on the bed, scrolling through fan art and sharing a few, putting his phone down when Andy lies beside him. "Do they do room service?" he asks.

Andy hums.

"D'you know where the menu is?"

"Should be on the table by the telly. You wanna get something?"

Remington crawls to the edge of the bed and reaches for the menu. "Craving chips," he says, "really salty ones."

"What's on the menu?"

"Uh...Pasta, steak, snails, chicken, salad, fries," he reads, crawling back onto the bed. "What's the time?"

Andy picks up the younger's phone to check, saying, "nearly nine," and then, "you've got two messages from Kassandra."

"Is it too late to order something?"

"I don't think so."

"'kay, well can you order?"

"'course. What'd you want? Fries?"

"Yeah."

"What's the number?"

"175454," Remington reads, as Andy picks up the phone by the bed.

The man orders a bowl of fries and a grilled chicken breast with bacon, afterwards pulling on a pair of tracksuits.

The boy turns onto his back and looks up at the lights on the ceiling. "What'd Kassandra say?"

"Uh...'I know she upset you but we don't really get why.' Ew. Bitch."

"So can I kill her?"

"Definitely."

Remington hums. He blindly grabs the man's arm and pulls him closer. "I should probably reply."

"Nah, don't bother. They can fuck themselves."

"They can fuck themselves," Remington agrees, "up the arse with a knife."

"Jesus, chill the fuck out."

The boy giggles.

"Cutie."

"Love you."

"Love you more."

Remington sits up and stretches. "D'you want some tea?"

"That'd be great."

"Well then you make it," he says.

Andy laughs.

"Kidding. I'll make it. Remind me to call Abigail tomorrow." He stands up, yawning. "I'm twenty one."

"That's great."

"What're you?"

"Nine."

Remington smiles and picks up the kettle.

"She's calling you."

"Get the damn hint, jesus Christ. Wait, answer it."

"Why?"

The boy goes into the bathroom. "Tell her to piss off!"

"Gladly!"

Remington fills the kettle and leaves it to boil, sitting on the bed. "Give it here," he says, holding his hand out for the phone. He brings it to his ear. "Piss off, will you? You've been nothing but insulting to me and I was simply trying to help your damn band out. But honestly, I hope your band falls apart because you don't deserve success in the music industry. Have a dandy day, bye bye." He throws the phone onto the bed, grinning at Andy. "Sorted."

"I knew there was a reason I loved you."

When the food arrives, the two sit on the bed with the containers of food between them. Remington, much to both their delight, finishes all the fries, Andy having had a small handful, and slices a piece of chicken off to eat slowly.

The next morning, Andy wakes to an empty space beside him and a new message on his phone.

Woke up wishing I hadn't so have gone for a walk. Meet me in Café De Flore for breakfast at 10?

Hope you're okay, I'll see u there x

Andy joins his husband in the café just after ten, sitting on the chair opposite. "Good walk?" He asks, picking up a menu.

Remington nods.

"Need to talk about anything?"

The boy shakes his head.

"Sure?"

He nods.

Andy figures he'll bring it up later, when they're not in public, and looks at the menu until Remington talks.

"Just regret last night," he mumbles, "but 'm gonna have breakfast 'cause I know I need to. Sorry for leaving this morning."

"No need for sorry. A walk is a good thing to do when you feel down."

Remington looks at his hands.

"What d'you want for breakfast, honey? They do scrambled eggs and salmon."

"Don't know."

Andy takes his hand. "I'll order you the eggs, okay? You just do your best, you don't have to eat it all."

"Okay." He rubs his eyes. "Sorry."

"Shush you, don't be silly. What'd you wanna do today?"

"Dunno."

"I booked a boat ride for tomorrow. We could get the train to Luxembourg today and have a day trip there?"

Remington shrugs, mind elsewhere.

Andy gives him a sympathetic look. "You alright, hon? We havin' a bad day?"

The boy shrugs again.

"How about I come sit next to you, huh? You look in need of a hug." He closes the menu and slides it into the plastic holder.

Remington bites his lip.

Pushing his chair back, Andy gets up sits down beside the younger, who's sitting on a window seat. He puts an arm around Remington's shoulder and the boy leans into him, sighing. "Did you sleep okay?" Andy asks quietly.

"Just woke up early."

"We'll have a sitting down day today, alright?

"'kay."

Andy kisses the side of his head.

"Sorry."

"Shh."

Remington rubs his eyes again.

"Tired?"

"Mm."

"We can go back to the hotel for nap after breakfast. I know you get overwhelmed when you're sleepy." He draws circles into Remington's hand. "I'll go and order. You want some tea?"

The boy just nods.

"Alright. Be right back."

"Wait."

"Hmm?"

"Kiss?"

Andy smiles. He puts a hand to Remington's cheek, kisses him, and stands up. He orders at the counter, returning to the table and sitting back down next to his husband, who yawns. "Where'd you go on your walk?" Andy asks.

"By the river. Saw some pretty boats."

"Yeah?"

"Mm."

"Bet none of 'em were as pretty as you."

"Shut up."

Andy smiles. "Never."