Trigger warning: Mentions of eating disorders, self harm

Remington doesn't sleep well. What with the fear of having to deal with everything on his own. He tries, he really does, but his mind won't quieten down and he can't sleep with loud thoughts, not on his own.

When morning comes, he refuses to get out of bed and shouts at his doctor when he's reminded of breakfast. Abigail comes at midday, sitting beside the bed, after having been told the bad news. "Morning, Remington," she greets, hoping to lift his mood at least a little bit in the hour that she's here.

Remington, who's still in bed, just looks at her, tired.

"I heard the news," she says, "bit of a shock, huh?"

"Bit of a death sentence," the boy mumbles.

Abigail sighs. "Don't you believe that you might be able to handle things at home even a tiny bit?"

"No. 'cause I won't be able to."

"How'd you know?"

"'cause I do."

"Why'd you think being at home is so hard for you?"

Remington shrugs.

"I need you to talk to me about it, Remington, so I can help you with it and we can find things that make it more manageable for you," Abigail explains, keeping her voice gentle.

"It's just too hard."

"Can you tell me one thing that makes it hard?"

The boy yawns. "Having access to all sorts'a pills and stuff. Still wanna hurt myself so bad and here, they won't let me. But at home, I just..." He looks away. "At home I can, and if I can, I will."

"I'm sure Andy can start hiding things that you could hurt yourself with."

"But he can't hide kitchen knifes, or-or matches, or scissors," Remington mumbles, ashamed of how pathetic he sounds. "And I can't make myself eat when my brain says no, not without a doctor making me. And I feel safe here 'cause of the tube, but at home, I have to rely on myself to stay so I'm not starving, and the problem is...I like starving."

Abigail hums. She already knew that. It's sad for her to admit, but she can often see how Remington feels better about himself when he's not eating enough. "Tell me what you like about it. How does it make you feel?"

"I feel like I have control of myself and like I'm treating myself how I deserve, and it make me feel proud of myself when I'm so hungry that I collapse, 'cause that means I'm doing something right, y'know? Because-'cause what if I can't do anything else apart from starve myself properly?"

"It's more of a mental thing than a physical thing, then, would you say? Do you think you're prettier when you're very thin?"

"I only feel pretty when I'm thin."

"Okay. So right now, how do you feel about your body?"

Remington shrugs. "I feel kinda fat 'cause my safe weight is four stone and now I'm nearly six stone."

"You said your safe weight is four stone? What does safe weight mean?"

"That I feel okay 'cause I'm safe."

"Safe from what?" Abigail asks, mildly alarmed because four stone is definitely not a safe weight.

The boy yawns and rubs his eyes. "From being fat."

"Alright."

"Is that bad?

"No no, Remington, it's not bad. It's not safe, either, however. Four stone is a dangerous weight to be at. It's your disorder controlling your perception of your own worth and it's very common in people with eating disorders."

Remington looks down. "I'm scared," he admits, "of losing control and having a heart attack again."

"I know. And it's okay to be scared."

"And I feel like I can't talk to Andy or my brothers about it, not as much as I need to, 'cause they shouldn't be pulled under with me." He plumps up the pillow behind him. "I was doing so good, Abi, I finally felt like I was getting somewhere, and then they go and do this to me like I'm not still just as unstable as I was when I got here."

"I'll have a talk with them, alright? The last thing any of us want is for you to relapse after you've been doing so well these past two months."

"Okay," Remington mumbles, "thanks."

Andyyyyyyy, he sends to the man, after Abigail has gone.

Andy: Whattttttttt

Remington: Today is shittttttttttt :((((((((((

Remington: Miss youuuuuuuuuuu

Andy: Oh no, I'm sorry. Miss you too!!!

Remington: They wanna send me home early bcos I'm not important :(

Andy: You're very important!!! Why're they sending you home?

Remington: Cos the ward is full.

Andy: Tell them to build a bigger ward??

Remington: Ha ha stfu

Andy: Build a bigger ward???

Remington: Go away

Andy: Okay, bye!

Remington: No! Come back!

Remington: Andy come backkkkkk I love youuuuuu

Andy: You're cute ;)

Remington: No winky winky

Andy: Sorry :)

Andy: Not ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

Remington: UGHHHH ur supposed to be the mature one here!!!

Remington: I'm the only child in this marriage

Andy: You calling me a pedo??

Remington: OMG stfu

Andy: Hahaha

Remington: U suck

Andy: U mean I suck your dick

Remington: I'm blocking your number perv idk u

Andy: Guess I don't know u then, either. Who's Remington? I don't know. Never heard that name before.

Remington: Who's Andy? Oh, I know

Remington: A bitch.

Remington: A very very VERY beautiful bitch.

Andy: Same to you, princess. I rlly gtg now. I'll call u later, love you!

Remington: But who am I meant to annoy now???

Remington: I love youuu!!!!!

Remington: Have a good day!!!!!

Andy: You have yourself a good day, too, kitty cat. See you tomorrow x