Gray and I started using buses more and more often until I felt nothing. After that we tried a riding limo to a few of our dates. Gray insisted he paid for everything so that he could know he had a part in helping me get better. If only he knew that he's been the one helping me more then I helped myself. The limo experience felt like the bus, so then we moved on to a big SUV. This was much harder, my panic attacks happened every time I entered one. Sometimes, I thought Gray used my panic attacks as an excuse to make out. After some time I could get into an SUV and still be sane, but only if I was holding Grays hand-- he was my rock. He thought that maybe that could be the same with a car, but no. It was bad, I couldn't do it.

This weekend Gray thought he'd drive us to hike again, in a SUV of course. This time we hiked to the waterfall, we were going swimming. Gray threw off his shirt and already dove into the water. I took a moment appreciating my view. Yup... that was all mine. 

"Come on baby, get in the water," he said popping his head out of the water.

"Um close your eyes," I said. He just laughed and put a hand over his eyes. Thank you.

"No peeking," I ordered. 

I shouldn't have worn a bikini, try and be confident ha! It was my favorite one, it was a nice light lagoon color, but now it seemed like a bad idea. I took off my clothes and slipped in the water. I shrieked as the water pierced my skin. God it was cold! 

Gray swam up to be and as soon as his lips touched mine I forgot about the coldness. My hands tangled themselves in his hair pulling him closer.

"And here I thought you were shy," he teased as he pulled back.

"If you like it more when I'm shy then we can keep this to a minimum," I teased back.

"No, no, you're perfect like this," he kissed my forehead.

"Sweet talker huh?" I raised a brow.

"Kinda, did it earn me any point?" he asked.

"Kinda," I smiled. I liked his sweet talk.

"I hope they're enough," he put on an evil grin.

"Why? Wait-"

It was too late, he had already dove under water. Before I knew it, I was seated one his shoulders.

"Hey Roland, put me down!" I ordered.

"Come on, stand on my shoulders and jump. It'll be fun I promise," he said.

I gripped his hand so hard my knuckles turned white. I was now standing on his shoulders ready to jump, but Gray somehow threw me off him. I let out a squeal before emerging coughing out water. 

"I'm going to get you for that," I threatened.

"Only if you can catch me first," he winked. He ran out the water and started climbing the rocks to get to the top of the waterfall.

"Gray what are you doing?" I asked. "Get down from there!"

"It's okay baby, I got this," he smirked down at me.

"Come on, you can get hurt. I won't do anything just come down," I begged, my chest was starting to feel tight with worry.

"I've done it before, don't worry-"

Before I knew it, Gray's foot slipped and he came tumbling down.

"Gray!" I screamed rushing to the place he fell. He was unconscious. I quickly dragged him out of the water and lay him on the ground. 

"Come on, wake up Gray! This isn't funny!" I cried. 

I released my hands to see that there was blood coming out of his head. I started to hyperventilate. He was unconscious... there was blood... it was my fault. Stop it Lana! He needs you now more than ever. 

I checked to see if he was breathing. It was faint and his pulse was slow. I ran back to our clothes and fished out my phone. No reception! Gray's phone read the same thing. What he hell do I do?! That's when I saw them shining. I dragged Gray back to the car. 

I was going to drive again. 

I sat in the drivers seat and closed my eyes trying to keep my breathing regulated. My hands trembled as I tried to put the keys into the ignition. 

Gray, just think of Gray. 

I took one last breath before driving away. I didn't know how, but I made it to the hospital without having a full on panic attack. I ran into the ER screaming for help. They ran out with a stretcher and rushed him in.

"What happened! What happened to my baby?" yelled Gray's mom rushing into the ER.

"Amanda calm down, he's in good hands," said Peter with a shaky voice.

I walked up to them after feeling horrible. "I'm sorry. It's all my fault, I should have tried harder to convince him."

Amanda let out a choked laugh. "No one could convince him into doing something he didn't want to, he has my stubbornness."

"It's not your fault sweetheart, come here," he said taking off his doctor's coat and giving me it. I grateful to have something cover me up.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"I'm going get us some drinks," said Peter before disappearing down the hall.

"I've been thinking a lot about what you said," sighed Amanda now that we were alone. "And you're right. I am a bad mother."

Oh... I didn't mean to make her feel like a bad mother.

"It's sad how it took me this long to realize how right you are. The only time I think I'd be able fix things between us is when my baby is in a surgery." She started to cry again. I sat closer to her and hugged her, she returned the hug and continued to cry. I rubbed her back, telling her calming words until Peter came back and took my spot. It felt like forever until someone came to see us.

"Gray Roland's family?" asked a man in a white coat.

"Yes," jumped Amanda. "I'm his mother."

"Your son took a serious hit to his head, if he had been brought here any later then he wouldn't have made it," he said.

"So what happened to him?" I dared to ask.

"The surgery was successful, but we don't know how it affected his mind. We won't be able to run some tests until he wakes up, he's highly sedated," he answered.

"So when will we be able to see him Robert?" asked Peter.

"You know protocol Pete, let's just say no one saw you enter," he gave a supporting smile, he then looked at me. "But family only."

I felt my heart stop.

"She is family," said Amanda squeezing my hand. I gave her a warm smile, which she returned. I glimpsed Peter grinning at us from the corner of my eye. 

Gray looked so peaceful sleeping on the hospital bed. Like he was taking a nap despite his bandaged head and a few scratches. My heart leaped out my chest at the sight of him. Please be okay Gray. Colour was starting to reappear in his face. His parents sat on one side of the bed and I sat on the other grabbing his hand. We stayed like this until his medication wore off and he started to wake up. Peter quickly rushed to get his doctor in here. 

Gray blinked a couple times before looking around him.

"What happened? Where am I?" he asked.

"It's okay Gray, I'm Dr. Jefferson-"

"Doctor? If you're a doctor then who are they?" Gray asked, looking at me and his parents.

No. No. No. No. No.

One thought ran through my head.

Gray doesn't remember me.

I got him back, but I lost him.

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